Struggling with what's next.

Anonymous

March 29,2022 at 2:47PM UTC

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Struggling with what's next. Several months ago I lost a job I love, but there was toxic management so I'm probably better off. Still, it's painful to think about. Recently got a new job with part time hours and fantastic benefits which is great for my family, but I'm finding I'm already not enjoying this new role, but management is super supportive so that helps tremendously. My dream job opened up in another state and I had a phone & zoom interview that went well, but I feel anxious - if I get the job it means uprooting my family from a place we love. If I don't get it, I will feel devastated and feel stuck where I am. The waiting game is hard and so is making tough decisions that can have a huge impact on my family's future.

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Sophie JoernMarch 29,2022 at 3:14PM UTC
It is a lot easier said than done, but try not to worry about which option to choose until everything is officially on the table. Worrying about something that hasn't happened yet is one of the biggest contributors to stress - but luckily there is something we can do about it! I would start by working with what you have - start conversations with your current management about role opportunities or adding new responsibilities that you have an interest in. Let them know how you are feeling and go into the meeting open minded and ready with a few possible solutions. This will make it easier for your manager to work with you on finding the best outcome. If you get the out of state offer, congrats! Talk over the pros and cons with your family and see which option works best. Maybe the new job has a remote possibility? Ask the questions - you never know what the answers might be!
AnonymousMarch 29,2022 at 5:26PM UTC
I find that if I only focus on the step in front of me, stay in the moment and have faith that things will always work out, I do much better.
I use meditation and breath work to stay grounded and in the moment. If I let my mind wonder into the "what ifs" I get stressed and moody and anxious. Staying in the moment, although not easy, saves me so much useless emotion.
Jennifer ChingMarch 29,2022 at 5:36PM UTC
I was where you were-- I lost my job during COVID and after about a year of searching, I decided I could be happier being my own boss. It was a scary and not easy decision. Hang in there. The universe provides the next step. Focus on the things you can control and keep looking for the next thing. It might not be The Thing you thought it was, but stay on the path. You will find your way.
Crystal HowellMarch 29,2022 at 5:40PM UTC
I think if your family doesn't want to be uprooted, maybe your dream job is in your area. I would have a recruiter in the industry you want to work in and have them look for your dream job with the job description from the company out of state. Soon, like me, I found my dream job and super management team in one place in my town. Recruiters are good!
Erika SpodenMarch 29,2022 at 6:31PM UTC
If you are not willing to uproot your family and you are offered the job, the first thing to ask is if there is a remote possibility. If the company feels you are the best fit for the role, my guess is that they will try to make it work. We've certainly learned from the past few years that a lot of jobs can be remote, and employers in the Great Recession are learning to understand that this flexibility is crucial especially if you have a family to consider. If you don't get the job, take a deep breath and realize that the first few months are always a little weird, and give yourself a little more time to adapt. If you are still feeling off, take action towards getting unstuck by imaging ways to improve it. Express this to management and come to them with a game plan that will help you to feel unstuck. It might be an independent project or even a coffee circle for parents, whatever helps you see the light at the end of the tunnel. Management is more likely to supportive if you have something in mind, rather than you approaching them with the expectation that they fix something they might not know is off. Good luck!
AnonymousMarch 29,2022 at 10:19PM UTC
Please look at your situation more positively!
*You left a toxic job and quickly found a new position with excellent benefits and supportive management. That’s an outstanding start.
*You’ve had two good interviews for an even better job.
It’s clear that your skills are in demand and that you are a strong candidate who interviews well. That’s something to be proud of.
If you haven’t already done so, gather your family to discuss the pros and cons of a move. And if you are offered the new job, ask for relocation support and ample time to move.
If you are not offered the new job, keep looking for a more suitable position — it is clear that you are valued by the marketplace.
AnonymousMarch 30,2022 at 11:01AM UTC
Dream jobs are everywhere. You don't have to uproot your family for dream job. That seems extreme unless you are dying to move.
AnonymousApril 5,2022 at 9:45AM UTC
I feel like these days Toxic is the new normal. You have to decide which toxic you can tolerate. I just put in my notice due to toxic coworkers but my managers were bummed I left. Not sure I made the right move. I could go somewhere else where managers don’t have my back.