How can you gain respect peacefully?

59 Comments

1. AnonymousAugust 13,2024 at 6:54PM UTC

   TBH I question why this couldn't have been a team training session instead of a 1 on 1, seems it could have been a great opportunity for team members to hear other's question in certain scenarios and to learn together. I think this may feel like a target due to the nature of the topic. NOW, I understand, 1 on 1 can be good, first it depends on topic. Perhaps a group session first and then make yourself available for 1 on 1 follow ups. This just seems too costly to do this in single person sessions. AND did you handle it correctly, hard to say, I read good intent, but not empathy or tone. Maybe I would have thought of pausing the training and just let them talk, Let them have an environment of venting, and then ask them if they would feel comfortable 'unloading' this to their manager, as you are not their leader. I don't necessarily read disrespect, to be clear, but I do read it must have been frustrating to you and with uncertain on how to respond. BUT I feel you authentically tried in the moment and so I would say you shouldn't feel you did anything 'wrong' . In the moment stuff can be hard to navigate, cut yourself some slack, you're in L&D that is so important to the success of individuals and a team collectively. IMO

2. AnonymousAugust 13,2024 at 7:29PM UTC

   I agree with your reply. Well said!

3. AnonymousAugust 13,2024 at 10:09PM UTC

   Thank you so much for your feedback!! It was a discussion to have it as a team meeting, but the department needed phone coverage (it's a small dept). We also discussed of trying to have it before or after hours, but being a smaller company we have to manage OT right now. Ideally, yes, I love group trainings, but on this one we did 1:1 to work with the call volume.

   Can I be honest? I did allow the employee to try and vent and tell me what was weighing heavily on them. I know they have a lot going on in their personal life, as do a lot of our other employees, myself included (but I don't share that with employees or coworkers). But I also don't try to make someone feel small with their work or make them feel like they are wasting my time. I was just very discouraged by the reaction this morning. Anyways, I didn't mean to rant - this is one of the spots I can do so without anyone knowing and still get advice. I appreciate your comment.

4. AnonymousAugust 13,2024 at 7:28PM UTC

   I also read this and thought why are they in 1:1 training and not in a group setting? It almost sounds like you were trying to counsel an employee but you are in Training and Development. Your meeting went defunct it seems.

   So when the levels of energy go high, you go low. Meet them in the middle so they can talk and air their feelings. It's not us to judge, but to target someone in this way made them defensive. If you are put in a cage with another tiger, you're going to feel uncomfortable. This doesn't mean you're aggressive it just means if you went in with high intentions and no empathy, they picked up on it and got defensive (this can be called Red/Red on the Birkman). Let's reboot this, put a pin in it and give this person another chance. Perhaps do the Birkman and if you are not certified contact the company and they will send someone to you. It's a great way to learn about oneself and how to interact in a group and with others. How to read a room, how to know how others respond and what your actions should be. It puts teams on a grid and shows the strengths/weaknesses, so many things.
   I do hope these folks get the right training and support. No one should walk in and lose it. There's a problem here and it's probably more than one person in this company. Promote working as a team, and revitalizing the training to allow all to use their voices and bond with each other. It does wonders in building morale! Good luck!

5. AnonymousAugust 13,2024 at 8:33PM UTC

   So agree!!! I wonder how management is management sometimes, and these are the ones I can forsake going back to work to, and that is was makes me wonder, how much more we need to look at the compassion and empathy part vs just the skills.

6. AnonymousAugust 13,2024 at 9:59PM UTC

   It's not meant to come off as counseling. The reasoning behind the 1:1 was because of phone coverage. It was the best option for the company. We have to manage OT also, so having employees come in before or staying after work wouldn't suffice, either. We did contemplate having it as a group, but the 1:1 during this time of year (busy time for the department) was the best way to approach it unfortunately. But thank you for your feedback!

7. AnonymousAugust 14,2024 at 10:12PM UTC

   Could you offer the training in sessions so people don’t feel intimidated by the 1:1 option?

8. AnonymousAugust 13,2024 at 8:31PM UTC

   I've been that person, and what I mean, is the person being reviewed. Many times, it can feel isolating. Was there an email sent to the team advising that there would be one on one, etc; perhaps get the team together and ask them to discuss their challenges amongst each other, and how do they cope when getting through a rough day; every one of is human and we carry a load of stuff inside us, and we have to go to work and make it through the day.

9. AnonymousAugust 13,2024 at 10:12PM UTC

   I'm sorry that you have been in that person's shoes and that it felt like that. It definitely was not my intention. The manager did speak with them and let them know about the training in advance. You stated an excellent point, everyone carries weight, and they try to make it throughout the day.

10. AnonymousAugust 13,2024 at 9:37PM UTC

    This seems much bigger than offering training. I would speak with the team's boss to find out more about where it stems from.

    Trying to create a better culture without understanding the culture probably won't get you very far.

    I would take a more holistic approach and find out what's going on and why the defensive atmosphere exists. Then you might be able to offer some refuge and balance.

11. AnonymousAugust 14,2024 at 12:30PM UTC

    I worked in a call center for 7 years. I had my fair share of being upset at bosses. These were my biggest complaints overall.

    1. When we had calls holding, the supervisors and managers would constantly walk up and down the aisles and repeat "we have 7 calls holding". They were supposedly subject matter experts. If they would sit down and take a call, we would have only 6 holding.
    2. They emphasized talk time entirely too much. Our talk time average was supposed to be 3 minutes or less. This was for pharmacy software. We specialized in independent mom and pop pharmacies. It sometimes took 3 minutes to get them to the correct screens. When we were on the call for more than 3 minutes, we would get a popup on our screen reminding us how long we had been on the call. They honestly would have rather us hang up and have the customer call back 5 times for 3 minutes each than take 15 minutes and get the situation resolved.

    I know overtime and being offline can be a difficult time. What is worse is having a team of upset and disconnected employees who feel their voices are not heard speaking with your customers.

    With enough notice, your customers will understand. You simply put a recording a week or two in advance saying on "August 20, our department will be closed for 1 hour between 2 and 3pm EST". Reports can be run that will tell your peak times and slowest times.

    Have the meeting as a team meeting and let everyone air their grievances together. You might be surprised at what is bothering them. The popups bothered me to no end. I know my voice would change when I would get those in the middle of my calls.

    Customers know when you are being authentic with them. I'd rather have a customer service associate be honest with me than sound like Molly Sunshine and not know what they were doing or antagonize me.

    Before the meeting is over, reiterate the concerns to assure the team YOU were listening. If you misunderstood, have them correct you. If they are mentioned multiple times, take the top 3 and tell them you are going to Management with them. Inform the team that the next meetings would be 1:1 time with each of them to discuss what was provided by management , options and ways to work on the issues they see as problems.

    Good luck. The team needs to see you fighting for them. I know you are not their manager/supervisor but if you get a team on your side, there is nothing they won't do to support you.

12. CMTAugust 14,2024 at 12:45PM UTC

    You did everything right!

    you handled the situation well. You

    gave an explanation and offered a solution

13. GirlBossanova934974August 14,2024 at 12:47PM UTC

    Oh my heavens! "Culture" issues? Time to cut through the corporate nonsense and get down to business! You have a management problem that goes way beyond "culture". First off, the supervisor of this group cannot be doing a very good job. That an employee would use a 1 on 1 session to go off on a company training officer is already a big concern. Next if not more important, who's hiring people like this? Customer Service jobs can be somewhat demanding and it doesn't look like the right type of people are being hired. It all points back to the supervisor/manager. I would alert your HR Department to take a look around the other members of this group to see if there is more of this going around. Chronic absenteeism is another symptom.

14. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 10:48PM UTC

    I agree.

15. GirlBossanova934974August 17,2024 at 5:05PM UTC

    In my 41 year business career, I have seen this happen 2-3 times. Typically, this is the result of MALE managers hiring FEMALE employees for their looks. These MALE managers create some sort of doting coddled workforce which is designed to stroke their egos. The female employees know what's going on and take due advantage of it. When the whole scheme is discovered, then everyone gets quite unfriendly and the "crying" number is initiated etc etc etc.

16. AnonymousAugust 14,2024 at 1:55PM UTC

    This sounds like you're in the middle of something rather than it being you. Company/management culture needs work. Sounds like the employee was reacting [at you] to the culture.

    Sounds like if you continue there, there needs to be some peeling of the onion layer to figure out roots of issues and address those. If that's not your mandate, it falls to management. It may also seem that group training / workshop style could be useful in some situations. Also, it sounds like this employee (if indicative of others) isn't incentivized. It could be this one employee. You don't have to tolerate disrespect.

    It just sounds like you walked into something bigger than training can address- and maybe need to prepare yourself for providing context of your mandate prior to meeting with folks.

    Best of luck.

17. NPWAugust 14,2024 at 2:17PM UTC

    1. Red Flag on 1:1 Training Request:

    Potential Intimidation: 1:1 training sessions can indeed feel more intimidating for employees, especially if they aren’t sure what to expect or feel like they are being singled out. This could lower morale and inhibit open communication, as CSRs might feel more defensive or less inclined to share their thoughts.
    Encouragement of Group Sessions: A group session, on the other hand, fosters a collaborative environment where employees can learn from each other, share experiences, and collectively improve. This setting is generally more engaging and can build team cohesion.
    2. Requesting the Manager’s Input:
    Targeted Training: By asking the manager for a list of concerns or focus areas, the training can be more effectively tailored to address specific issues. This ensures that the session is relevant and directly aligned with the team’s needs.
    Identifying a Model CSR: Knowing if there’s a model CSR in the team provides a benchmark for others. This can set a clear performance goal and create a tangible standard for the entire group to strive towards.
    3. Post-Training Assessment:
    Quizzes and Follow-ups: Having a quiz after the training is a practical way to assess understanding and retention of the material. Reviewing the results with the manager allows for further individualized coaching and development plans.
    Manager’s 1:1s: After a group training, it’s more appropriate for the direct manager to have 1:1 sessions with each CSR to discuss their specific areas of improvement, using the training as a foundation. This also reinforces the manager’s role in ongoing development.
    4. Engagement through Role-Playing:
    Practical Application: Role-playing exercises are excellent for applying training in a controlled environment. They allow CSRs to practice and receive feedback in real-time, making the training more interactive and impactful.
    Real-Life Scenarios: Using real-life examples helps CSRs relate the training to their daily tasks, making the content more relevant and easier to internalize.
    5. Recommendations for Future Training:
    Clarify Training Goals: Always ask the manager what they hope to achieve with the training. This ensures that both you and the manager are on the same page regarding the desired outcomes.
    Advocating for Group Training: Explain the benefits of group sessions, such as increased engagement, shared learning experiences, and the creation of a supportive environment. Highlight that 1:1 sessions can be more effectively handled by the manager for personalized follow-ups.

    This approach would likely lead to a more effective, engaging, and less intimidating training experience for the CSRs. It aligns with best practices for adult learning and team development, where collaboration and clear communication are key.
    In regards to how you handled the first session. I think you did a good job but you should share that experience with both HR and the manager and propose conducting a group session going forward. And since it is CSRs, do half-group sessions since it is most likely the entire team can't be removed at the same time.

18. AnonymousAugust 14,2024 at 4:11PM UTC

    First, empathy when they shared they were having a bad day would have been the better response than what you said. Everyone learns differently and everyone takes what they perceive to be feedback negative/positive differently. Clearly from what you shared this person was not properly prepped by their manager for the training that everyone will get and instead felt singled out for having to go through it.

    The best approach going forward is start by telling them (and assuming this) that everyone on the team is going through this, you realize it may be difficult for them to take this as they may perceive it in a way they may not yet understand. Ask them to absorb the content, and also ask them for real feedback afterward for how they felt about the content because you would like to adjust things for the future should they go through any training again. When you do 1-1 training your role is as a leader and to bring in your own feelings into this situation does not help to control it the way you should. Instead be the bigger person and realize as a teacher (yes you are a teacher) some students rebel as a defense mechanism to learning new things out of fear or hostility toward whomever made them do something they don't know how to do.

    If I were you I would ask for a quick conversation with this person and suggest a do over.

19. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 12:48AM UTC

    In a workplace setting, not a school house setting, everyone involved is an adult (I hope). “Teacher” and “student” are on the same team. The goal is to make money for the employer. Period.

    Btw I used to be a teacher for high school *children*. Some days are smoother than others, no doubt.

    We all have bad days, and we are all adults with some level of agency, even at work.

    My take is the trainee is to engage with the training and build a relationship with the trainer. Likewise the trainer provides training for the trainee and works to enhance their relationship. All crying and hand wringing are to be done privately afterwards. With complaints to management also in private afterwards.

    Because the goal is to do your part so the company maximizes its profits. Period.

20. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 6:47PM UTC

    I agree!!

21. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 10:47PM UTC

    It seems like they were mad from the jump with the comment about being alone with this person. So I would have said you know I can’t do this unless someone like my direct boss. But since they stayed and didn’t hear things they wanted to, they got upset to deflect.

22. Julie EAugust 14,2024 at 4:46PM UTC

    Your reaction was horrible and lacked any form of empathy to their bad day. You want to be respected, be nice and be helpful. I would consider taking a few classes in emotional intelligence. Or find another area to work in where you don’t have to work with people.

23. AnonymousAugust 14,2024 at 6:13PM UTC

    Actually, I had thought to write something similar to what your response was. I think it was not the best way to respond to this person. Less, this person seems a bit more entitled to this role and not really a people person. I agree, learn people skills especially in this type of role where you have to connect with other people. Afterall, you have a BOSS, too, and consider yourself in this situation, hence, I'm sure you would appeciate compassion and empathy.

24. AnonymousAugust 14,2024 at 8:39PM UTC

    Would you recommend any EQ trainings that have helped you?

25. AnonymousAugust 14,2024 at 6:11PM UTC

    This first issue is that if everybody is getting the same refresher training, they can all attend at once. It’s a waste of time, for one. The bigger issue is that it creates unnecessary stress and is a shot to morale when the individuals feel that they’re being picked on by having these 1:1. While there may be some truth to the fact that your response to them could have been more empathetic, two things can be true and then projecting their bad feelings on you is not fair either. But two wrongs…blah blah. I think there is a conversation to be had about the company’s culture and as the trainer, consider how you can have a more positive impact.

26. AnonymousAugust 17,2024 at 12:58PM UTC

    The manager who requested this style of training could use some training! It sounds like that manager could be a bit tone-deaf or lacking in emotional intelligence. People who go into customer service would be people-pleasers, who would feel distress at the suggestion they're not pleasing customers, the boss, or the company as a whole.

27. Michele PetersonAugust 15,2024 at 12:38PM UTC

    I don’t believe you can “create “ a better work culture when the world has gone mad about their “feelings “. Seriously wish people would leave their feelings at home and bring a good positive work attitude to work. I don’t go to the office to talk about my feelings and whine. It’s a JOB! It’s not therapy. It’s not a playground. I’m working to earn my pay and this training should help me to do my job better. That’s the attitude that the employee should bring to your meeting.

28. Kimberly Knapp DuganAugust 15,2024 at 5:06PM UTC

    I understand this might not be a popular opinion, but I really see where you're coming from. I've had team members who get emotional over things that seem minor. In my 30+ years of working, the only time I ever cried at work was when I received news about a death in my family. I don't wake up feeling positive every single day, but I still go into work with a smile on my face and a positive attitude—'fake it till you make it,' as they say. I completely get that everyone has personal challenges, but I believe it's important to try and keep those separate from our professional environment.

29. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 7:52PM UTC

    I totally agree!

30. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 6:53PM UTC

    This!!!’ Leave stuff at home!

31. Lynnette PhillipsAugust 15,2024 at 12:40PM UTC

    In response to your inquiry of gaining respect it all points back to building relationships.

    If a decision was being made to modify how this individual was receiving training the manager should have met with the employee beforehand given clear feedback as to why this action was being taken and shared what to expect.

    Now the feedback that needs to be given is how this employee handled and treated a fellow employee.

    It is often assumed that training will “fix” performance issues which is not the case.

    I recommend as part of the pre training assessment gaining agreement with managers if they request a modification that they meet in advance with their employee and prepare them for training delivery.

32. Rashida GovanAugust 15,2024 at 12:41PM UTC

    Create a better culture by showing more compassion and being more emotionally intelligent. The person's initial comments indicated something was amiss. Instead of plowing forward, unpack the response and check in with the person. It's as if the training was more important than the person. While you're not a therapist, it is important to check in with participants to see if they're in a mental space to receive what you're delivering. You should try acquiring techniques to help to get them prepared to receive the information and also consider directing them to resources to support them through their challenges (that are available through the company). You personalized something that wasn't personal and then you expressed that their feelings and state were not important and needed to be tabled. They're human and not a machine. The culture sounds crummy and doesn't seem to prioritize wellbeing. Start by shifting that.

33. April LineAugust 15,2024 at 12:48PM UTC

    You were put in a bad situation.

    You DID express empathy by saying you understand and offering to stop or reschedule the training.

    The employee who broke down either has performance issues they are aware of and was upset because of accountability, or in a horrible work environment where they are paranoid because they are being micromanaged or something. Or, maybe they are just a problem employee.

    Second all the people who said if it's a training that everyone is doing, then there's no reason to do 1:1 training. The manager might have believed 1:1 would be more effective or needs it to be that way bc s/he can only spare one team member at a time.

    If you have a good relationship with the manager, i would ask specifically about that employee and see what they say. If there's an opening to ask about restructuring as a group training, maybe do that.

    And finally, in moments like these, i like to take solace in knowing i got the worst one out of the way first. I bet the rest will go a lot better.

    As for the culture, good culture has to come from the top down. The managers and executives or owners have to be willing to enact and model policies and behaviors that define the culture they want. These ideals should be part of training and explicitly stated in the emoloyee manual.

    If you have the ears of folks high up, suggest adding perks to the benefits package (these don't always have to be expensive, things like accident insurance offers a little added security and cost only a few dollars per employee per month, communal snacks in the break room, etc.)

    Be careful. A lot of leaders do not like suggestions from people they do not consider their peers, so tread carefully if you are not part of the leadership team. If the managers do not welcome feedback as part of the leadership culture, you could find yourself in the crosshairs or without a job.

34. AnonymousAugust 15,2024 at 4:14PM UTC

    Thank you so much for your feedback! You mentioned quite a few things that I would like to act on.

35. AnonymousAugust 15,2024 at 12:57PM UTC

    This person just seems to lack maturity in taking constructive criticism. I wouldn't take it personal and accept that it has much to do with delivery. However, stating that they still need to show up and not project it on others who are just trying to get a job done can come off a little less than empathetic. Maybe try being more relatable with things you do to push through on a bad day, brush up on some empathetic phrases to use when employees say things like that, maybe don't take things so personal because it could cause you to respond defensively, and maybe try to implement things that boost moral like positive daily quotes and inspirations. I can tell you really care about your employees and are passionate about doing well at your job , I hope some of this is useful.

36. AnonymousAugust 15,2024 at 4:12PM UTC

    Thank you so much for your feedback!!

37. Amy StubitschAugust 16,2024 at 1:41PM UTC

    They may be more sensitive to criticism or perceived criticism than most. ADHD and especially Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria is very real. As are autism and other mental health disorders that you might mistake for a lack of maturity in handling criticism.

38. Emilee MillerAugust 15,2024 at 1:45PM UTC

    May I ask what industry you work in?

39. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 6:29PM UTC

    We are in agriculture.

40. AnonymousAugust 15,2024 at 4:02PM UTC

    T&D is called on to fix people and situations we have no control over. When in that role I've sought to walk between supporting leaders and their employees, and it is hard!

    One note, sometimes people use crying as a tool or weapon even. It makes people uncomfortable and the person who does need to improve or change work or work behaviors gets a pass because of the tears. I cannot say what really is going on but seems like the manager needs to own their job of being a leader. Imho.

41. AnonymousAugust 15,2024 at 4:09PM UTC

    Thank you for commenting on my post. I can totally understand how it looks like I handled this horribly.

    After a few days have passed since the training, I have had a lot to reflect on. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that this employee had a poor attitude going into the training from the start and projected it towards me. When they felt picked on, it shows me the areas of weakness in their performance, and they are lacking accountability. This employee has demonstrated that they struggle with any type of feedback, but that shouldn't resort to being disrespectful to other co-workers. The training was requested for a reason, and if this employee felt targeted, then the employee needs to sit down with their manager to discuss their performance.

    And I believe they began crying because I told them (and this could have been handled better, I agree) that I could tell they weren't taking the meeting seriously and asked if they wanted to stop it.

    And the 1:1 was the best option at the time. Yes, I absolutely prefer group trainings, but sometimes I have to make do with what I have.

    The employee also apologized to me later that day for their actions.

42. AnonymousAugust 15,2024 at 4:54PM UTC

    You are right. Thank you!

43. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 1:04PM UTC

    Unfortunately I agree. You should have ended things when they said they were uncomfortable.

44. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 1:07PM UTC

    You did nothing wrong. I don’t understand why employers are putting up with it. This is work. People to need to be working together to make things happen. They need to be respectful but even more, the ELT should be enforcing people to be respectful and responsible, and not to tolerate this childish behavior.

45. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 3:12PM UTC

    It's not 'childish' to cry. It can be a sign of too much stress or being overwhelmed. I speak from experience. Modeling empathic listening skills is better than forcing any sort of behavior. Work is supposed to be people focused, but sadly there are more employers that parrot HR tropes than actually apply them.

46. Amy StubitschAugust 16,2024 at 1:13PM UTC

    As someone who has been the problem employee, I think more empathy here could have gonna a long way. I have ADHD and suffer from Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria. Any perceived rejection, criticism, or negative feedback will set me off crying. I already struggle with regulating my emotions, and then you add in the shame of being an adult crying at work... it is the worst. For everyone who has one of "those" employees, I hope you will keep an open mind and lead with empathy. You never know what people are dealing with. I definitely would have perceived this 1:1 training as a criticism and not been able to hold it together.

47. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 1:54PM UTC

    Thank you for responding with a great message, we really never know what the other person is going through in their lives.

48. Marcia SmithAugust 16,2024 at 1:59PM UTC

    I will also add here, that I have cried at awkward times at work to - it just kind of rose up in me in the moment. I have no diagnoses - but we ALL have emotional moments and as much time as we spend in the workplace, I'm really surprised we don't see women cry more - we are probably hiding it. I think this is unfortunate, because we are really just denying a natural part of ourselves.

49. Madam anon663August 17,2024 at 10:33AM UTC

    Oh my gosh Amy, you and I are the same person. Its very hard to regulate, and in my case I have a great manager who understands me and doesn't put me in positions where I might feel this way. Kudos to you for speaking so plainly here!

50. AnonymousAugust 17,2024 at 12:55PM UTC

    Same here. I also would have questioned whether others were being told the same things in the same way.

    Also, I had pretty bad PMS most of my life, and on one of *those* days, I would have fallen apart.

51. Amy StubitschAugust 16,2024 at 1:17PM UTC

    "One of these"... I see no hint of empathy or kindness. Please consider that not all of "these" employees are fake hyperventilating or gaslighting you. Some people have a much more difficult time regulating their emotions. It does not mean we deserve less empathy.

52. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 2:40PM UTC

    I think you did a very good job with that Person. Not everyone is going to react like the first one.

    what you need to think is that everyone is different and that is your job to identify. Not to begin directly with the training. You have to have to begin your activity with a “break the ice” activity. Then talk about good experiences connected with your job and everybody’s job in your company.

    Good luck!

53. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 6:41PM UTC

    I agree. I am honestly sick of the culture where it’s ok to behave like that in the work place. I work with a few now. Always crying. Always making excuses. It’s like no you are lazy and creates more stress on me.

54. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 4:26PM UTC

    "These"?

    Unless you want to be known as "one of those", I encourage you to evaluate your emotional intelligence, and seek proper professional development/instruction

55. Ellen Smith FaganAugust 16,2024 at 7:51PM UTC

    I would find a pro in human resources and 1:1 script-writing to help me make a more charming presentation to my employees - 1:1 is intense but when the job is CS, that is how it is - The employee will be doing 1:1 with the customer being served and SOOOO each employee should be enthusiastic to upgrade and improve skills in 1:1 CS.

    I am a believer in office morale moments - a few moments of time at the beginning , middle and end of day when the whole office can "round around the house three times" and refresh themselves for best rapport with customers, bosses and employees.

    The woman who cried should NOT have been so low and left like that in the first place - to be so near tears is not good. We all have bad days or bad moments in a day - but we should feel ok with SAYING SO and begging to just work quietly and undisturbed for bit and enjoy a. chance to breathe and tidy things and resume normal pace once EMPOWERED by the breather.

56. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 7:51PM UTC

    I find almost most who react that way, do so because they know they are messing up. So it’s a way to deflect away from the issue.

57. AnonymousAugust 16,2024 at 8:06PM UTC

    Honestly?

    Sounds like you were put in a difficult position being asked to turn around a morale issue. Also, sounds like this test case person was feeling defensive, defeated and singled out. Like the customers are mad at her and management doesn’t have her back.

    But. If you can’t *empathize* and *listen* to employee concerns and are more interested in lecturing them on “customer service”…Eesh.

    Customer service is hard, especially with customers who are already irate. Everyone here needs to increase their capacity to not take it personally and still perform of the responsibilities of their role.

    Theres no reason why this training couldn’t be done in small groups moving forward. Model compromise, acknowledgment and professionalism and the respect will come.

58. AnonymousAugust 17,2024 at 12:53PM UTC

    This should have been a group presentation, despite what the manager wanted. Everyone has to feel that there is a shared standard. Not to mention, one-on-one takes up a lot of your time.

59. BarbaraAugust 20,2024 at 5:25PM UTC

    I would have ended things the minute they said being in a room alone with me was creepy. Thank you very much. Why would you tolerate something like that? I would have said “ok, please return to your work station and have a great day” the send an email to their supervisor, the employee and HR stating the reason for not continuing the training. This is not your problem and you have zero responsibility to continue with this employee. I would also go so far as to say due to this incident you will not train him/her one on one again.