Oversharing at work-Thankfully I have not overshared with my manager and coworkers in my group.

Anonymous

October 17,2022 at 3:05PM UTC

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Oversharing at work-Thankfully I have not overshared with my manager and coworkers in my group. However I have overshared some with a coworker turned manager in another department. While I have not shared anything too personal, both of us have commisserated about dealing with aging parents accompanied by family drama. I don’t think she has said anything to others and vice versa, but lately I have noticed she’s pulled back. With her role as manager, I get it that boundaries need to be set. I had another family setback last week and something is telling me not to disclose that information to her, so I have decided to keep it to myself this time. I am no longer going to share family related or personal information anymore with her. Going forward it’s best not to overshare. I am saving that stuff for my trusted friends, husband, and my therapist. I will keep conversations at work light topic related. If she discloses anymore about her family situation, I will listen but I will no longer volunteer mine. Has anyone overshared and what did you do to stop oversharing?

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AnonymousOctober 17,2022 at 5:13PM UTC
I tend to be an undersharer. To the point that one of my friends thought I had no family! lol, ah. I am trying to share some stuff, but mostly listen and comment. I think practicing active listening will help you overshare less.
Crystal HowellOctober 17,2022 at 6:56PM UTC
We all have at some point, unfortunately it can come back to bite you. So you leave your drama, family, at the door. Focus on work, and move up the ladder. If others want to overshare, it could be too much drama, and politely exit the conversation you don't need to feel down or depressed.
AnonymousOctober 18,2022 at 2:43AM UTC
Unfortunately I have a boss that has no boundaries with her fave workers. I keep a distance.
AnonymousOctober 17,2022 at 8:48PM UTC
Agree with the under-sharing comment.
As much as companies attempt to elevate the whole "bring your full self to work culture" I take that motto with a grain a salt for the same reason/inkling you have about oversharing with colleagues/managers.
Once you share details of your life with someone, you lose control of how that info is stored, shared or reused later. In the work environment, I'm super cautious about what I share with a colleague because I've been in the awkward case of my colleague becoming my boss and I've watched similar scenarios play out with other folks around me. It's not a good look and super awkward.
Less is more at work! Keep things cordial and move on. Now, if you decide to be friends outside of work, sure, that's different but as long as you work there, I never trust sharing personal details about my life. I barely like talking about my vacations, etc because it's personal. When people don't respect boundaries, that's my cue to pivot. I'm glad you listened to your instinct because you're probably on to something! Regardless, it's a good personal boundary to keep because we're not obligated to share personal details about our life at work; it's not part of the job description.
Shelly EdwardsOctober 18,2022 at 2:06PM UTC
It is likely that she is just trying to maintain a more professional relationship now that she is a manager. While it's great to have close work friends, it can sometimes backfire or get uncomfortable when position levels change. I think you are right to keep your personal life issues outside of work, unless you need to discuss them for work purposes, like leave or time off. It's not easy to do, and I'm not good at it so I wish you luck.
AnonymousOctober 18,2022 at 5:16PM UTC
I think it's in my nature (or I'll blame my ADHD) to overshare so as I've gotten older, I've become much more aware of myself and what I share and with who. I was actually called out on it (2014 was a bad bad year in my world...a lot of loss, near losses and major job disappointments). My boss at that time took me out took lunch and pointed this out. That was kind of embarassing.
AnonymousOctober 19,2022 at 1:27AM UTC
its safe to always assume that what you say to any work colleague can and will be repeated. Especially when perceived friendships dont last. Sad part is when you do say something personal, you might be the last to know a colleague shared it with others. So never say anything you dont want repeated