My boss has previously been very encouraging and responded positively to my work.

My boss has previously been very encouraging and responded positively to my work. Having taken on a new role themselves now, they’re very unsupportive and critical of me. They’ve taken me to HR regarding things I wasn’t even aware of as issues. It’s demoralizing and despite my best efforts, the criticism continues to roll in without any constructive suggestions for improvement. I don’t know how to resolve and it feels like they’ve just given up on me. While I am far from perfect, good leadership should look better than this, right?

Why women love us:

  • Daily articles on career topics
  • Jobs at companies dedicated to hiring more women
  • Advice and support from an authentic community
  • Events that help you level up in your career
  • Free membership, always

Share your insight

Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.

12 Comments

Join the conversation
  1. Anonymous

    What precipitated this complete change in regard for you? It sounds like something specific happened and his expectations for you have completely been impacted.

    Taking you to HR is HUGE. So questioning his leadership is fine but you were told of the things that you are doing that are unacceptable. You say you didn't know these things were issues but now you've been told so you are aware of the improvements you must make right?

    If you are still unsure how to resolve the situation then I would sit down with your manager and HR again the clarify or I'm afraid this will never get resolved.

  2. Verity

    This is not good leadership. I would consult HR about this to explain what is wrong and that you feel as if you are being wrongly criticised and do not have any warnings or explanation before these claims roll in.

    You could also approach your boss about this if you are feeling brave to try and fight the issue head on - they could just be overwhelmed with this new position and might be unaware of their behaviour change.

  3. Verity

    You need to be clear - say that you do not understand and feel as if you were not given a good enough warning / explanation before these issues were brought to HR. I feel that being transparent is vital to this being resolved.

  4. Anonymous

    It sounds like they might be trying to build a case to fire you for whatever reason. I'd dust off the resume.

  5. Anonymous

    Depending on your role (management or individual contributor), your manager is either trying to set you up for you to find your success or to push you out the door. If they take the issues to HR, they are more likely trying to build a case for cause, and the next step is a performance plan. Depending on how invested you are in the company and how much you want to stay and grow into better roles, you could try a preemptive strike and use the information you already have and present them with how you think you could improve. This shows them that you understand their complaints and are committed to improvement. It also shows leadership and initiative. Put it all in writing, so they have something to edit or sign off on. Either way, I suggest you polish your resume and start looking, just in case.

  6. Anonymous

    Yes to all of what Anonymous OP said and, if
    you are invested in staying at this company, if you have anything on record (emails or create a log w/dates the best you can) of your boss’s support and postive feedback in the previous position , you might provide that as well?

  7. Dcre1977

    Yes it is poor leadership. It is probably best to dust off your resume.

  8. Diana Schneidman

    Could it be that the boss is failing somehow and trying to place the blame on you?

  9. Anonymous

    This is part of what I think is happening, yes. They’re overwhelmed in their new role and instead of taking time to work with me, they’re giving me grief.

  10. Jackie Ruka

    ust keep records and strategize to go work for their competitor.

    Sounds like issues in the C suite trickling down. Does not sound like your circus or your monkeys.

    It would be nice to get to the bottom of things but somehow someone is pushing you out.

    No one should be treated that way.

  11. Liz Milne

    Yes, good leadership should make you feel aware of what you need to be doing, what you are falling down on, and what you are doing right. Having said that, if they're not telling you how to improve, there's a simple fix: ask them.

    'Hey boss, you said my [whatever] needs to be improved. Please could you show me how I should be doing it?'

  12. Anonymous

    I would pull that person aside and see what is really behind the shift. Perhaps they are failing in their new role and they are looking for a punching bag. Behind the scenes they may not want to come back if they are failing and need to make waves about the why. Definitely speak to HR and ask for documentation about this in case it may affect you in terms of any upcoming company reductions. Ask HR for support and if there is a need for corrective action put together a written plan with HR to get through this.

Fairygodboss VIP
Achieve your career goals.
Be part of the largest online career community for women to find jobs, advice, and support — for free.
Fairygodboss members