Started an new job - need help!

17 Comments

1. AnonymousJanuary 14,2023 at 1:43PM UTC

   I am going through the same thing. I started in October and had -0- training. My co-workers can't help because they've never had my duties and they don't want to be bothered. Of course, I've made mistakes, and one of my male bosses is an extreme drama queen, and copies all of the higher-ups on his snotty emails to me. That is one of my biggest pet peeves, I never do that to anyone. I work on 2 projects in different locations and they do everything differently from each other. I'm sorry you are going through this. Myself, I've kind of had it. I have no advice for you except to look elsewhere. If you've been there since August, I do not think things will change. Best wishes to you.

2. AnonymousJanuary 14,2023 at 3:27PM UTC

   Sorry to hear you are going through this. That is very toxic behavior especially to call you dumb for asking questions.you are entitled to ask questions.

   i am going through a similar situation In new role but I am a contractor and I have had limited guidance or help from the start and one project manager I work with gives little support/ information and doesn’t answer my questions properly either. Also experienced some incredibly rude behavior from senior leaders. I am now looking elsewhere. Advice is to remain positive but maybe look for new role if people are unsupportive likely the work environment and won’t change. I left a toxic work environment before this role due to toxic team

   members who openly put me down. Likely they feel threatened by you and witholding information is a classic toxic trait for people like this. Try to minimise contact with the negative peoples in meantime . Can you ask your manager questions instead in meantime? Do you get regular 1 to 1s?

3. AnonymousJanuary 14,2023 at 4:15PM UTC

   I’m dealing with something similar. People are so rude and I am struggling to fit in. I’ve been in this field for almost 20 years and I’m constantly talked down to. I ask questions because I don’t feel like I know everything there is to know.

   I find it ironic that I see signs hanging everywhere telling us to “be kind” and people are actually ruder than ever!

4. AnonymousJanuary 14,2023 at 6:56PM UTC

   First, please look at your written communication. I suspect that you may not be a native english speaker as what you have written above is not in proper tense in some places. Use something like grammarly to do this.

   Often American's can be rather harsh about things like this, use a spellchecker in your written interactions. As for the mean person, ignore them they are perhaps jealous of your strong education. If you need help speak to the person who hired you or someone in HR and ask for a buddy or mentor who can guide you when you get stuck. Don't give up and learn to be patient. The smartest and best people make mistakes that is how you learn. Keep up the good work.

5. Lori Laurito BetzJanuary 17,2023 at 2:20PM UTC

   How about let’s look at her toxic, horrible coworkers rather than her written communication, since she says it’s when she asks questions verbally that they are rude to her. Also maybe we should teach our fellow Americans some strategies on how to not be toxic and horrible when they encounter someone for whom English is their second language. Even if this is the reason they’re acting this way, it in no way, shape, or form excuses it or means the onus of changing it is on OP.

   BTW-someone suggesting monitoring grammar and spelling surely knows that in this context it’s “Americans” with no apostrophe, because there is no possession…not American’s.

6. Carol23January 17,2023 at 3:01PM UTC

   I agree to a point on some of your statements, however, it is much easier for a person to make improvements to themselves than to try and change someone else. In this case, I would suggest that the OP (original poster) try and find a mentor within the workplace. I would ask that person for advice. I agree that it is very likely that the people that she has been interacting with are jealous and are being rude and totally unhelpful. However, you can't change others. I would also strongly suggest that the OP start looking for another job. If people that you work with are making you miserable, find a new place where you will be valued and respected. You will be much happier in the long run.

7. RachelApril 4,2023 at 9:00AM UTC

   I can see your good intention to suggest a way for me to improve myself. Improving my English is properly critical for any career advancement. Thank you so much for your advice.

   On the other hand, I don’t think it’s right to treat someone poorly just because they are ESL. Treating people poorly is unacceptable no matter what. It doesn’t make it right even if the victims are ESL.

8. Esther WormanJanuary 16,2023 at 1:41PM UTC

   I would suggest that you read Dale Carnegie’s classic, “How To Win Friends and Influence People”. Incredible ways to survive in the business (or any!) environment.

9. AnonymousApril 4,2023 at 8:03AM UTC

   Good recommendation!

10. AnonymousJanuary 17,2023 at 5:09PM UTC

    I feel like I am in a similar situation to the poster. With one difference, I am in a newly created position and the job I am now in was split off from what the current administrator does. She has been in the position for decades, and is my only resource in the department that I work in on how to do my job. She is very passive-aggressive, and I have to constantly email and talk to her to get the bare minimum of information in order to do my job. I have been accused by her and our shared supervisor of not "working hard enough", and asking her to do my job instead of doing it myself. I'm feeling like she didn't want to have another person in the office with her, with how she and other people here are treating me. I do have good relationships with people who I work with who are outside of our department, but I'm finding the current state of things in my office to be really trying. I'm considering leaving this position when I reach my 6th month here, just so I can show a little bit of work experience. Does this make sense from a planning perspective?

11. Liz MilneJanuary 23,2023 at 12:59AM UTC

    Can you ask the supervisor? '[Colleague] is busy and I don't want to disturb her, please tell me how to [x,y,z]?'

12. AnonymousJanuary 24,2023 at 4:42PM UTC

    No, she was chair of the department and didn't know how to do anything. I worked at a University and most of the staff jobs in academic departments were supervised by senior faculty. Pretty stupid, but that was what goes on and has been for years. Upshot is I was fired last week, so I'm back on the job market. I'm not really sorry that happened, I'm mad that my pension is messed up and I've got another career set back. I'm going to try to get another job at the same university, its large enough that I hope I'll find a better place to work at.

13. Liz MilneJanuary 25,2023 at 1:58AM UTC

    :(

    Good luck with it all xx

14. AnonymousAugust 7,2023 at 2:58AM UTC

    Thank you! I unfortunately got fired, but I've certainly learned what to look for in a job that means a hard no to me.

15. AnonymousJanuary 17,2023 at 5:57PM UTC

    Such problems typically start at the top of an organization. The culture of the workplace is directly affected by this, so do not expect any change despite any efforts on your part. You should pursue employment elsewhere as this seems like it is not your ultimate career destination. Good luck. Stay positive.

16. Liz MilneJanuary 23,2023 at 12:58AM UTC

    I've reached an age where I would have absolutely called out the colleague that called me 'dumb' -

    'I'm so sorry I asked you a question, Janice! I didn't realise I was meant to come to my first day of work and instantly know everything about how this company works without actually ever getting any training.'

    Or something. And possibly been fired immediately, but hey-ho!

17. AnonymousFebruary 5,2023 at 3:14AM UTC

    My Day 1 during job orientation (hospital), I already experienced some bullying, even from those who trained me. I felt sad and don't know if I can continue it. As time goes by, when I initially am trying to make some connections and could not, I learned to toughen it out. I set my mind that if these people will not like me as a worker, then it's their problem. I focused on my job and do the very best I can and be a good team worker. Despite some awkwardness I remained friendly and polite - and eventually they started to notice my dedication to my job. Most of them also appreciated my work. I removed expectations and pressures on the job and in my relationships with each of them. I still continue it up to this day. Hope this helps. Good luck and God bless...