Help phrasing for my exit interview!

43 Comments

1. TracyJune 14,2024 at 6:01PM UTC

   I agree, this is your exit interview, you do not owe this company anything at this point. Leave cheerfully and take this with you even thought it is hard do. Anything you say will probably not affect change at the company and may not be well received.

2. AnonymousJune 14,2024 at 6:24PM UTC

   If you, personally, need an exit interview to heal from trauma, etc then yes proceed. But if you think for a second that your comments in the interview will impact the organization and pave the way for change, think again. It's naive to think you will share anything they don't already know or care about. You are just another disgruntled employee.

3. AnonymousJune 15,2024 at 1:07PM UTC

   This 100% unfortunately. I was with a company as a high performer for over 10 years. When I started to outline a few toxic/and potentially illegal actions from a dept head, I could see HR immediately shut down. They knew what was going on all along. As I'm guessing is your case as well. I cant see an upside for you at all other than venting. It sucks and I'm sorry. Focus on your future and be glad you left the toxicity behind.

4. Stephanie Branch LekowskiJune 15,2024 at 1:29PM UTC

   I came from a firm where they didn't have any exit interviews, and I wouldn't be surprised if many others don't either. They dont want to hear how to make things better, they just want to assure themselves you're not going to sue them.

5. Jamie Martin, ACCJune 15,2024 at 1:24PM UTC

   Instead of focusing on the negative, what would you suggest the change or do?

   I left an organization years ago that was toxic. Instead of focusing on the negative, I considered what would help the keep good people and create a bigger impact. I had a different perspective once I new I was leaving and came from that angle.

   So, I would look at each off the things you want to bring forward and see how you could reframe it into actions that would move them forward.

   For example, it felt like there's a culture to say yes instead of discuss things. To shift it, they can start asking for people's input on the ideas they'd see more impactful ideas and projects coming forward.

6. Megan WestrumJune 15,2024 at 2:11PM UTC

   I’m totally hearing you.

   But because this company is so toxic already, they’re not going to change. Even if you try to warn them in someway by saying these things to make them feel better.

   From my own experiences at toxic companies, I will not do an exit interview for them. I wouldn’t waste my breath. I did try my best to provide feedback to one in the past. They threw it away and ignored any of my advice.

   My advice would be to look forward to your new journey and heal your mental health. Leave this company in the dust and do not even give them an exit interview.

   In the future, just do an exit interview for a really good company that you enjoyed. Toxic companies will not change… but the good ones make the changes they need to for their employees.

7. AnonymousJune 15,2024 at 2:47PM UTC

   If a company is allowing such a toxic environment to occur and remain, they don’t really care about anything but bottom lines and profit.

   If you feel it necessary to make an impact with you exit interview, remain professional because they will not listen to what you say rather than note you’re leaving, and maybe what pile of work you’re leaving behind for others to pick up. As I’ve stated in other comments on other posts, simply let them know you received an opportunity for moving forward in your career and are very excited, will be taking what you’ve learned from current employer and relationships over X years with you, and leave it at that. You owe them nothing as far as details of what you’ll be doing or where you’re going. It’s not info they have a right to know unless you signed a non compete agreement. So, if no contracts bind you, just move forward and leave them behind.

   If you have allies in upper management you can always say in a private and separate chat you’re concerned another employee will have enough time, energy, and resources to file a lawsuit - and you wish to be long unassociated from the possibility of that action. But that can take you into the weeds during an exit interview, so hold off on that kind of verbiage. Keep it otherwise positive and about your personal growth and experiences moving forward in your career.

8. AnonymousJune 15,2024 at 3:51PM UTC

   What you say will have zero weight in the organization changing. Keep it short and sweet: I have found a role that will give me the opportunity to learn & grow as well as a culture that aligns more with my values of professional development. Thank you for the opportunity. Do not go into detail. You can end with a smile and "that's all I have to share". Don't let them press you for anything else. Trust me, it won't matter and you'll just be labeled as someone who couldn't cut it, etc.

9. AnonymousJune 16,2024 at 1:36PM UTC

   This

10. AnonymousJune 15,2024 at 4:29PM UTC

    Probably not. I would just let them know that the opportunities to be supported by a supportive leadership team somewhere new with a strong growth trajectory is what made you want to leave. Let them know that your work style is one that is focused on growth and productivity and that this new company is offering that. When you use only positive words to describe where you are going and not diss where you are leaving, by saying nothing they will either get a clue or not. Don't slam the door with negativity when you are leaving because it won't benefit you at all. Good luck in your new role.

11. AnonymousJune 16,2024 at 12:32PM UTC

    Respectfully, why are you even doing this? I wouldn’t do an exit interview. You don’t need to. It’s not required. I would just say that you were canceling and not do it.

12. Shelly KatzeffJune 16,2024 at 2:11PM UTC

    I would not attack or target anyone. You are leaving, so what is the point? I suggest focusing on tomorrow and what lies ahead for you, hopefully a new job in an inclusive, supportive environment. There is no need to point out anyone's character flaws or weaknesses. If management doesn't see them or care, why do you have to mention them? If you do, you will leave a trail of negativity behind and somehow, your reputation will be tarnished. You are a lady. Leave like one! I think cancelling the exit interview is the best thing you can do.

13. Gigi Barnier BurkeJune 16,2024 at 4:14PM UTC

    The point of an exit interview is for the company to do better going forward. If the people who left before you had been forthright as to why they were leaving, things might have changed. I'd let them know that you are looking for an opportunity for growth and to work with people who feel comfortable sharing ideas in an environment where you feel respected.

14. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 12:22PM UTC

    That is the purpose of an exit interview. IN reality that is not how most companies work.

    I wish they did take things to heart, but they don't. Saw it in my own company where people left and were honest. Not a thing was done about the hostile and biased work environment this person created and continued to foster. It took a lawsuit before anything was done.

15. AnonymousJune 16,2024 at 4:22PM UTC

    Don’t waste your breath. If they didn’t care about your opinion when you worked there they won’t care now that you’re leaving. Your interview will be sanitized and they will talk about you being disgruntled and dismiss anything that goes against their toxic culture. You never know where you meet these people later or who they know. Smile ,

    collect your check and skip out moving on to a better place.

16. Maggie SoldanoJune 16,2024 at 4:29PM UTC

    Exit interviews are a waste of time. Just say how grateful you are for the opportunity (to leave), how much you learned (about what you don’t want in a work environment) and wish everyone well (they’ll need it). Make sure you’re tagged as “eligible for rehire” and a valuable asset that was lost rather than a complainer looking to get the hell out.

17. Tami L CannizzaroJune 16,2024 at 4:38PM UTC

    I agree with everything others have stated - basically you will gain nothing by sharing your negative views during the exit interview. You may actually hurt yourself going forward, if you consider that the work world is small, people talk, and they also change jobs. You want to be known as someone who was gracious, positive, and held her head high - especially if you happen to run into any of these people again when searching for a job. Best of Luck!

18. AnonymousJune 16,2024 at 7:30PM UTC

    I would not say anything. They know and they choose to accept and promote her behavior. You are not going to change anything or open their eyes. They are choosing to be blind to this. You are leaving. Go out and get drinks with the coworkers that matter to you and let it go. Also, follow Maggie's advice on the exit interview- it will save me from repeating it.

19. AnonymousJune 16,2024 at 11:33PM UTC

    My instinct is to advise you not to take on any of these issues on during your exit interview. Your intervention is unlikely to result in improvement and you don’t need the drama or the possibility that HR will disclose your identity.

    If you do decide to disclose, however, I suggest that you start with the positives and then add “It would be helpful if” followed by suggestions for improvement.

    Example: Commercial Director is a disciplined manager, which is great for efficiency. It would be helpful for Commercial Director to build on this by doing more to mentor team members and by being more direct with the team.

20. Christi LopezJune 17,2024 at 12:44PM UTC

    Yes, it most likely will not lead to improvement, but personally, if I'm asked my opinion, I'm going to give an honest and professional assessment. The example above is exactly the type of feedback I would give.

21. Patricia Lehr BayneJune 17,2024 at 12:22PM UTC

    ”the culture is just not a good fit for me.” The rest of it sounds like sour grapes. While everyone can value constructive criticism you are not offering any of that in your statement. Wish them well and move on.

22. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 12:22PM UTC

    Don't do any of that its not intended to be a bitch session. Be professional and don't burn any bridges. You are leaving, not called in to vent or be the hero.

    IF you feel compelled to say anything...I would simply say, I prefer to be led by a confident,fair, emotionally balanced leader.
    Encourage them to investigate the culture under that leader.

23. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 12:29PM UTC

    Agreed. OP shouldn't waste their time also 90% chance HR is well aware of the circumstances already.

    If you insist on listing these "warnings" then do it on glassdoor.com anonymously so that other job seekers know!

24. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 12:31PM UTC

    1. None of this will make any impact.

    2. You don't owe anyone an exit interview. It's better to not do one.

    3. Do you ever want to work with any of them ever again? I bet no. I'd just decline the meeting and move on with your life.

    4. The best revenge is living well. People and their don't burn bridges bs. I don't know about you but I have two rules in life- never get back together with a boyfriend you dumped and never work at a company full of people who have that combo of needing serious therapy and to reconsider their life choices.

25. AnonymousJune 18,2024 at 9:08PM UTC

    Not burning bridges is not BS but CYA-I wouldn't burn any bridges because you may need them for a potential reference at another job. And, it has been my experience that it's a small world, you never know when you might see/work with someone from that company again.

26. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 12:52PM UTC

    Great that you took the time to unload your grievances here, but if I were you, I wouldn't do the same on an exit interview. I think that you should steer clear from making any references to a particular job title or specific dysfunctions that are going on in the organization. If asked to clarify any area of improvement, be as vague as you can be - perhaps alluding to that you felt that your skills and abilities really didn't seem to align with the current organizational structure. You're not lying. From what you've said, they don't.

27. ChrishoggJune 17,2024 at 12:56PM UTC

    I don't know you, know anything about you, know anything about your situation at work, so it is impossible to give you any advice on what to do.

    But here are my thoughts:

    1) You say, "There's a culture of talking behind people's backs, rewarding the behavior of being submissive (to just follow through) and enact the wishes of leadership without discussion." If in fact this is the culture, there is nothing you're going to say that is going to change any of that.

    2) Given the culture, if you vent during this interview, all you'll be doing is giving those in power yet more ammunition to use against you in the future (reference checks and etc) and to use against others who remain behind.

    3) When (if) asked why you're leaving, I would say something along the lines of "I've found an opportunity that is better aligned with my career goals" and I would say nothing more, and if they ask you for more clarity, I would respond with, "As I said, I've found an opportunity that is better aligned with my career goals" and if they ask again and press you, respond with a smile and friendly look, "As I said, I've found an opportunity that is better aligned with my career goals" and keep saying that until they stop asking. And say nothing else, even if they ask you, sincerely and with expressions of interest, because, you know, the culture (see 2) above).

    4) Need to vent? Need to let it all hang out? Need to tell those no-good, low-down, dysfunctional, mean and nasty, terrible, unfair people what you think and what they can do with their stinking job and their dysfunctional organization? Great. But whatever you do, don't tell them. Instead, tell your spouse, your sister, your best friend, or some random person you meet at the bus stop. Or tell the person looking back at you from the bathroom mirror.

28. Maureen B. WeisnerJune 17,2024 at 4:53PM UTC

    Well stated. "I've found an opportunity that is better aligned with my career goals".

    Nothing you say will change things in a dysfunctional environment and anything you DO say will be remembered and potentially held against you in the future "somewhere".

29. Afo Ogbeyalu KaluJune 17,2024 at 1:30PM UTC

    *use "I" statements . . . Relay what you personally observed, (as opposed to "people are saying") and how the negative behaviors impacted you, and/or group productivity . . .

    *support your claims of inappropriate behavior/violations with points identified in your employee handbook, or organization's "Code of Conduct" manual . . .

    *stress that your intentions are honorable, in that you are bringing up these points so that corrective actions would be taken for the betterment of the department/company . . .

30. Anne Marie HJune 17,2024 at 1:48PM UTC

    It really depends on whether you're prepared to "burn bridges" or not. You're essentially saying there's a hostile work environment and a cut-throat culture: they either know about it (and dont care), or they're completely ignorant of it, so you'll need proof to lend integrity to your stance. If you can't pull-together proof to support your stance, then I wouldn't mention any of it. If they know about it, they'll only "care" if there is proof as allowing a hostile work environment to go unchecked can get the company in trouble. But regardless, whether they're part if the problem or not, they'll only care if you have proof.

31. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 2:04PM UTC

    I did an honest exit interview with the hopes that things would be better for those left behind - did absolutely nothing for the others. I was the 7 or 8th person to leave this particular supervisor but management could not connect the dots. I honestly should have skipped it.

32. Balanced165836June 18,2024 at 1:31PM UTC

    The company I was very very suddenly let go from last March (after 5 years) had this exact same problem. I reported directly to the CFO who, during covid, also became HR. He lost count of people who left, especially sales people, because of the company culture top-down and especially the VP of sales. I literally can count on more than 2 hands. And is that VP still there? Yep.

33. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 3:40PM UTC

    From what I've heard over the years (being an employee, being in HR, and hearing from others), just avoid it if you can. You're not obligated to give one---so punt for as long as you can. There's a lot of advice online from career sites that give generalized tips of how to handle it (indeed, Linkedin, Forbes, etc.) Advice like this- https://www.betterup.com/blog/what-to-say-during-exit-interview

    Some professional environments consider this as a step in mastering professional influence in playing "the game" vs. "honest, principled engagement." It will be your call whether you decide to just leave and say nothing or to carefully craft a graceful and professional exit without divulging too much. I understand the desire to make a difference, leave an ounce of truth so that hopefully there could be change. Truth is, if there are reasonably intelligent people there, they know what's wrong and your exit interview statement won't help too much. You, being a good worker and leaving is a stronger message. Now, it's possible smart people are unaware (of personnel dynamics)- even so. I may give slightly different advice if you had built the company, etc., but really, the advice is pretty standard about it being worse for the [outgoing] employee so just avoid it. Your call. If you choose to participate, practice detachment. You may share something and nothing changes.

    Do not throw anyone under the bus. Do not gossip or seek friendly support on your way out. Exit with grace - esp. in consideration of future connections. You never know.

    If you choose to have the Exit Interview, choose whether you have a blanket statement or let them ask the questions. Do not answer anything on the fly (even if you're good at it). Use a generalized statement like, "nothing comes to mind."
    If you choose to say something to HR and don't want to give any detail, say something like you chose to leave for growth opportunities and a change of scenery.

    Best of luck.

34. Lori CasoJune 17,2024 at 6:14PM UTC

    I’d simply say that it wasn’t an environment where I felt comfortable sharing ideas … and leave it at that ( IF you feel the need to say anything…)

    On interviews I would only say “ it wasn’t a good fit.”

35. Anne Marie HJune 18,2024 at 11:16PM UTC

    I think that last piece of advice about what to say @ future interviews is a real GEM!

36. Lori CasoJune 21,2024 at 6:04PM UTC

    ☺️

37. AnonymousJune 17,2024 at 7:17PM UTC

    Majority of companies do nothing with exit interview feedback and it's a check the box action. It's unfortunate because I have been in HR for over 15 years and have gathered tons of information. Try as I might to share with the right people and leaders and even creating full blown action plans - there is a large disinterest in doing more. Companies like to chalk it up to "you can't please everyone".

    My advice - don't complete it or just be very high level about it (i.e.: just focus on the lack of career growth). It may feel good to get it off your chest but I say leave with your head held high. You won't be there to clarify or offer additional insight to your feedback, so you lost control of the narrative - what is being said and the proper context. It's a small world so don't leave with whatever stigma the company may impose on you after you depart for sharing your full reasons.

    I wish exit interview feedback was taken more seriously. I'm sure some companies do, but these comments confirm my experience working at different orgs and in different industries.

38. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMEJune 18,2024 at 1:29AM UTC

    You may want to share with them what you new position offers that was lacking in your current role (money, growth, culture, etc.)

    Discussing personalities and personality traits is a no-win situations. If you are aware of these behaviors, so is everyone else.

39. Daffeyo TubmanJune 18,2024 at 1:01PM UTC

    HR is most likely already aware of the issues you have mentioned, either from other departures' exit interviews or via complaints. My personal take on exit interviews? I respectfully decline them, why? In all my years of corporate experience, I have never seen HR/company leadership actually do anything with feedback from an exit interview (how do I know? I share the feedback provided with friends and check-in periodically with them to see what has happened/been implemented). You are leaving and no longer a concern for them.

40. AnonymousJune 20,2024 at 3:48PM UTC

    agree. I typically say "thank you but not necessary". (if the company wanted to fix anything, they would have done it)

41. AnonymousJune 20,2024 at 3:47PM UTC

    I'm going to say something you won't like, but in my many years of work experience...the exit interview is a formality and you're leaving, so they really don't care what you're going to say. I.E, they aren't going to do anything to fix the reasons you've decided to leave. So, don't put alot of energy into this. You aren't going to be the hero that fixes a toxic manager or company- and as others have said, they've probably heard these complaints before. You're leaving, you are history to them... So don't put alot of care or energy into this. Keep it short and sweet. Thank them for the opportunity to work there, and if you WANT to say something-- keep it VERY succinct: "my manager exhibited what i consider unprofessional behavior in these ways and I felt it was best for me to move out from under his/her management". Done. Best wishes!!! XXOO

42. Bridget HarringtonJune 20,2024 at 8:25PM UTC

    I wouldn't even do the exit interview. It's not mandatory and to your point, the culture isn't looking to change.

43. Crystal HowellJune 21,2024 at 10:17AM UTC

    Kindness is better, don't burn bridges. You never know if they are at another job in your career.

    I want to thank the company for this opportunity and seek other business endeavors.

    Keep it positive, they know what's going on as they allowed it.

    I've gonne as far as I could and moving on to the next opportunity.

    People like that are tunneled vision from the leader,be kind,positive, and move on DONT look back.

    Understand it happens everywhere, you choose how you handle the next group,stay away from them. Hope this helped.