It is something that people are told to do a lot. It's done in person too with things like leaning forward or backwards in the chair, arm crossing, smiling when eye contact is made, nodding in understanding etc. It started off as being an unconscious thing, and then people did research on it and now everyone is told to do it. It makes more sense in a 1:1 meeting for a business deal because it is supposed to make the other person trust you and want to sign on the dotted line.
For a video call, is there a chance that your wifi signal is such that it is making it seem like they are all mimicking you at the same time? I've noticed a slight delay in my video calls, which is why I ask. If not, then there are a few things you can do: ignore it, play a game, address it.
Ignore it is exactly like it sounds. If you can't ignore it, see if you can toggle your zoom settings so that you don't see the other people in the meeting. Address it. If it is really bothering you, and you know your wifi isn't causing this, bring it up that you find it weird. They either haven't realized they are doing it, or are doing it to connect and will stop. Either way, they will probably be awkward on zoom calls for awhile going forward. Play a game to see if they are really mimicking you. Do things like change your posture, cross your arms, etc. All natural things that you would probably do in a meeting, but do them intentionally and watch and see if those are being mimicked too. This can be fun to do, but will also give you valuable information. You can use this information to address it, or ignore it.
I've had people mimic me before, but I knew them well enough to know that it wasn't meant in a mean way. They were the type to have read those articles so I figured it was intentional. I chose to play the game of doing different things, and as expected they would mimic it. There was one time I started laughing and they were like what and I told them what I had been doing and they didn't even realize they had been mimicking me. This only really worked because I understood them enough to know they weren't being malicious.
If you are concerned about them being malicious but aren't sure, it might be worth developing your relationship with them. Developing the relationships will help you determine what type of person they are and help you decide if this is something they would do from a malicious place or not. If you find that they are being malicious, you can choose to address the mimicking head on, or change your video settings so that you cannot see them.
In regards to your reaction, I don't think that shows you lack confidence, just that you are a bit jaded about life. Mimicking people to form a connection with them isn't a good or a bad thing at it's core. People are social, they want connections. It's the intention behind the connection that changes it into something good or bad.
I hope some of this helps. Good luck! :)
Share your insight
Join an authentic community that helps women support each other at work. Share your professional experience or ask for advice — you can even post anonymously.
17 Comments
Join the conversation