How do you guys feel about pitching in for co workers birthdays and baby showers?

38 Comments

1. Julia KongSeptember 28,2022 at 11:52PM UTC

   Don't know about birthdays because it could be endless! But I am definitely for big milestones like weddings, baby showers, etc.

2. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistSeptember 29,2022 at 4:13AM UTC

   At one of my jobs, we had one cake a month and that was to celebrate everyone who had a birthday that month.

3. AnonymousSeptember 29,2022 at 11:29AM UTC

   Great idea ?.

4. AnonymousSeptember 28,2022 at 11:56PM UTC

   I hate it it’s always uncomfortable if you don’t chip in cuz then you can’t eat cake and ppl ask you why you aren’t eating. At least that’s my experience. And I can’t chip in for every birthday holiday shower wedding!

5. AnonymousSeptember 29,2022 at 12:07AM UTC

   I always do. Just to be a team player. I also buy a cake for my employees on their birthday.

6. AnonymousSeptember 29,2022 at 1:40AM UTC

   Awww that’s so nice! My boss got us pizza for mine.

7. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistSeptember 29,2022 at 12:08AM UTC

   Just another reason why I love working remote. I don't mind pitching in for showers (baby or wedding) or for a cake for someone's birthday - just don't make me go to the shower.

8. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 4:42PM UTC

   What if shower is at work?

9. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistSeptember 30,2022 at 8:31PM UTC

   Like I said, just another reason why I love working remote.

10. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 9:25PM UTC

    Did you attend when in office tho?

11. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistSeptember 30,2022 at 10:58PM UTC

    I've been working remote for over 15 years - I can't remember that far back.

12. AnonymousSeptember 29,2022 at 12:52AM UTC

    It should always be optional and have some sort or anonymous way to pass around the envelope. You never know someone’s personal and financial situation.

13. AnonymousSeptember 29,2022 at 2:19PM UTC

    My team is small so I have no issues at all and welcome the chance to participate.

14. AnonymousSeptember 29,2022 at 10:29PM UTC

    People should not feel forced to do it. But if certain folks want to participate and others don’t grudges shouldn’t be held against them

15. AnonymousSeptember 29,2022 at 11:54PM UTC

    I would not pitch in for an adults birthday. If there is going to be cake, the organization should be paying. Babies are a life event (and an expensive one!). An option collection of gifts money can be very normal. No one should ever feel like they must give money away. You just never know anyone's personal finances regardless of the professional title they have.

16. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 4:41PM UTC

    Yeah I am finding that they don’t hesitate to ask me to pitch in for stuff but don’t return the favor. I only pitch in for those who do it for me.

17. Melissa NobileSeptember 30,2022 at 1:16PM UTC

    I bring cupcakes for my people on my birthday. I bring a card for all to sign for others’ birthdays, bereavement, or showers. That said, I think giving towards gifts should be optional.

18. Crystal HowellSeptember 30,2022 at 1:32PM UTC

    Adult birthdays/babyshowers/ I would get a card. company should have a petty cash account?

19. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 8:21PM UTC

    This may sound mean, but unless the employer has petty cash, or an anonymous way to give so there isn’t judgment if someone doesn’t- I don’t think any kind of big office gift giving should happen. I think it plays into politics and is unprofessional in a lot of ways as far as boundaries go. It normally lends itself to favoritism has been my experiencing.

    However, if close coworkers go to take a lunch together or buy someone a “birthday coffee” I don’t mind. That’s them as close co-workers/friends. I’ve seen people at my past job get mad about that, but if it’s on their break & their own money it’s no one’s business.

20. AnonymousSeptember 30,2022 at 8:55PM UTC

    its always a whole office thing at every job I have been to. And everyone gets asked to chip in.

21. Sage SharpeOctober 1,2022 at 12:38PM UTC

    I have a budget for things like this for the month. Sometimes it gets met, more often it rolls over. It includes birthdays/events, and kids selling things. There’s a smaller subset limit for how much each thing.

    Basically, I can give x-amount, at most twice a month. Even if last month I didn’t give anything, my limits are still x-amount, 2x a month.

    This is mostly because I started a new job and didn’t know the culture well enough to judge if it was semi-required, or not ever even brought up, or what. Our regions work culture is allll over the map on this, so I had no way to judge. Plus people always say it’s voluntary even if it’s highly frowned upon to not join in. So I came up with rules before I started to give myself peace of mind.

    Turns out— it’s not that required but kinda. And I’ve been there a year and can count on one hand how many instances there has been.

    (oh, I will say, this is separate from “hey friend, I’ll get lunch this time” budget)

22. AnonymousOctober 1,2022 at 1:28PM UTC

    I take offense to selling things for your children I went door-to-door selling Girl Scout cookies and maybe that isn’t safe any longer nonetheless I would’ve never expected my parents to bring in any kind of school selling or Girl Scout promotion to ask fellow employees to contribute I put them on the spot and it’s wrong and by the way earning a Girl Scout merit badge bet you went out and you really sold cookies which I did and I’m very proud of

23. maryOctober 1,2022 at 1:27PM UTC

    I never felt comfortable with collections I think if you’re going to send a collection of envelope around it should be anonymous

    I’ve worked with managers that would send out flowers because target to dollars and then asked for donations and when you decided you didn’t wanna donate they would come to you face-to-face and ask if you’re making a donation very uncomfortable and when it comes to religious type of situation when people die do you want to do something personal associated with your religion it should be left to an individual to do what they want to do wrong I don’t believe it

24. AnonymousOctober 1,2022 at 2:21PM UTC

    I just had this conversation recently with a friend who isn’t on this site. She was asked to donate to a shower for someone in a different department but was then told she wasn’t going to be invited as it was going to be held during a department meeting. Very rude to ask for $ and then not include. She politely declined.

25. AnonymousOctober 1,2022 at 2:38PM UTC

    I can’t blame her.

26. AnonymousOctober 1,2022 at 4:05PM UTC

    if I like you I will chip in, if I don’t know or like you I won’t. I could care less about “work culture” and I absolutely refuse to be manipulated. I typically don’t participate in any activities. I’m just there to do my job.

27. AnonymousOctober 1,2022 at 6:48PM UTC

    I love this!

28. AnonymousOctober 1,2022 at 5:45PM UTC

    If the company wants to give, they should have it as a budget item or use petty cash.

    "Passing the hat" as anonymous and then saying it is from the organization/company is wrong on more levels than I can say here and pushes the boundaries of most ethics codes. Many places I have worked have rules against raising funds for co-workers (or their children) during work hours. Having managers ask people to "pitch in" is just wrong. I don't have a problem getting a gift for someone when I am invited to a shower (whether I attend or not). I don't even have a problem with joining with two or three others that will allow us to get them a specific gift that is out of reach of any of our single budgets (strollers, car seats, and cribs, for example). I don't think it is suitable when there is any hint of coercion.

    Birthdays are a big NO because everyone has one, so everyone will expect some big production.

29. AnonymousOctober 1,2022 at 6:48PM UTC

    I have had bosses in the past when I worked in a small office, send out an email about a shower for a co worker. I also wonder if co workers should have a baby shower for every single kid they have???

30. AnonymousOctober 2,2022 at 3:12AM UTC

    I was recently asked to contribute to a "gift" for a co-worker in our department who was retiring. I have only been with the company for four months, and I don't know this person at all. I felt forced to give something, or else I would look bad or not "part of the team". I'm not in a position to contribute to causes, as a single mother with an elderly parent whose helpers I also pay for. I gave $20 but was asked "is that all?" by the collector. It may have been better to give nothing rather than look "cheap". I feel that if this worker has been with the company for 20 years, it is the responsibility of the company to give a cash gift instead of forcing individuals to pitch in. It only made me uncomfortable and looking bad. No doubt the word will get around to my supervisors that I was too cheap, etc. It is a TERRIBLE idea

31. AnonymousOctober 2,2022 at 6:06PM UTC

    Oh wow. I think 20 seems like a lot to me. Especially when you don’t know the person.

32. Looking for a changeOctober 3,2022 at 12:44AM UTC

    $20 is a lot even if knew the person. They should have had a set amount to contribute, that person had nerve to ask you if that’s all your contributing. Please don’t feel bad about it you were more than generous

33. Marian DavidsonOctober 3,2022 at 5:59PM UTC

    I worked at another company for 15 years, where NO solicitations were allowed, and no gift exchanges permitted. The company had a budget, and the manager would request a gift, or money to purchase something, from the company to be given from the department. I really liked that! It was nice not to feel the pressure to give my boss or co-workers a gift for birthdays, holidays, etc. Instead, perhaps we'd bring a tray of cookies, cupcakes or something very small just for the fun of it, and place near the coffee service, with a note saying "for Joe's birthday", and even that had to be VERY small, and very very anonymous.

34. Madam anon663October 2,2022 at 6:39AM UTC

    Nope. Not doing it for boss either.

35. AnonymousOctober 3,2022 at 3:22PM UTC

    I usually create an e-card (groupgreetings or similar) and ask people to sign for birthdays, wedding, baby, etc and then ask if they want to pitch in for a treat to give $5. That way the expectation is set that no one has to give at all, but certainly not decide how much to give, and at least everyone can sign a card for free.

36. surfnwriteOctober 3,2022 at 4:15PM UTC

    I worked at a place where literally every week someone was coming by asking people to pitch in for this and that, sometimes for people we didn't even know. I think sending around a card to sign is fine.

37. AnonymousOctober 3,2022 at 6:12PM UTC

    Nobody can afford to give every week. That’s crazy

38. AnonymousOctober 4,2022 at 1:53PM UTC

    My workplace managed birthdays by inviting all staff to choose whether or not to participate in the "birthday club." We would arrange to meet once every three months for an afternoon break where we would share cake and celebrate all birthdays in those months. Each time different participants would volunteer to bring the birthday treats. No one was required to contribute or participate and those who chose not to missed out on some tasty goodies. Eventually, our unit grew too large to scale this event, but we enjoyed it while it lasted.