Looking for advice/words of encouragement

Anonymous

March 11,2022 at 1:47PM UTC

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Looking for advice/words of encouragement

Moved from corporate to start up a few months ago and have been struggling with the change. First it was lack of clear definition of my role, what team I was on, etc. (Which I know is typical for start up). Got that sorted out and have been trying to help establish workflows and practices. Every time I bring something up, it is met with, "I hear you, but..." and the main thing is, "the company isn't at that stage yet". So since I can't seem to get my head and ideas to the level it needs to be at, I just clam up. I have been thinking for a couple of months that perhaps this isn't the fit for me. I really love the company and the mission, but it just feels like a repeat of issues I've had at other jobs...not being able to function at the level I know I can. Job searching is so miserable and at this point, I wonder if I need a complete reset of my career and try something else. I feel like I can never be happy with work, so I am extremely down on myself. When my boss asks me what's wrong, I just tell her it's me and I need to adjust my thinking, etc. Bringing up ideas that are shot down constantly makes me feel like a complete idiot. So truly, the issue IS me. I can never "fit" right in a position. And it really, really wears on me.

Does anyone else struggle with just feeling completely miserable with work? The new job was refreshing for the first month to 6 weeks, but then Sundays became full of dread and I'm back in this familiar spot again. At least this time it isn't absolutely toxic and abusive....silver lining!

Thanks for reading :)

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AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 2:12PM UTC
I was in a very similar situation, went to a small start up to establish my leadership skills and set up a group! sounded amazing! I had all these ideas and understood that it would take time to establish anything, but that was not the same vision as the president of the company. He was a micromanager and I felt like I couldn't take on that leadership role that I wanted. In my case I moved on to another company.
In your case since you seem like its a good workplace, I think having some patience with new initiatives may be good. Take a breath, and you could put forth a smaller initiative just to get a Win in your column. It could boost your morale and not dread going into work. Or work out a tentative timeline with your manager about when those initiatives could work for the company.
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 2:28PM UTC
I'm so glad it isn't just me. While they hired me to implement processes and whatnot, suddenly they don't want my ideas and going with someone else's. It is creating a training team from scratch and I'm an instructional designer. But it feels like talking into the void for months now.
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 2:56PM UTC
I have been dealing with something similar. I have recently felt lost and not been able to figure out where I fit in this organization, and specifically on my team. I have those fears of not just Sundays, but evenings and Saturdays because the thought of having to go back to work is something I really struggle with.
I am too new and need the money so I am trying not to think of taking an irresponsible route. But what I am trying is setting a deadline and looking in the meantime.
I have given myself the timeline of 6 months to reevaluate how I am feeling, if I still feel the same (lack of direction and purpose, not having felt a sense of belonging in the company, and still not producing the expected quality of work etc) then I will know it is time to move on.
But during that 6 months I am going to be actively looking for opportunities. One it will take some time to find something else, and two if I can gain experience in interviewing and figuring out where I want to be while still earning an income that would be great.
I am still struggling with the day to day and feeling miserable and depressed, but I hope that by searching while employed I will better be able to figure out my next steps.
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 3:12PM UTC
That's a really good idea. It has been 3 months for me, so maybe get my stuff updated and more feelers out there, etc. I realize the mistakes I've made over the past few months and want to work on them, etc. But also, know my value and worth. And this is making me question all of that for the past couple of months. I have tried really hard to reset my mind to "start up" mode and feel like I can't get there. So the problem is me, right? Right!
Jenevieve FalcoMarch 11,2022 at 3:00PM UTC
I am in a similar position. It's hard to keep your head up when you are under valued. Keep your head up - it's not you, it's them!
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 3:09PM UTC
That is what a friend of mine said, it isn't me. But it certainly feels that way. I literally feel like I am insane, and it is so hard to navigate.
Jenevieve FalcoMarch 11,2022 at 3:18PM UTC
Keep leaning on your friends and outside resources. I even went to therapy to have a outsider's opinion. I totally understand how you feel. Try to focus on positive self-talk!!!
AnonymousMarch 11,2022 at 3:18PM UTC
I come from many startups and can tell you from what I've seen that the startup stage is definitely not for everyone. Since you Clam Up when your ideas are not embraced, I would suggest that you might want to consider a more insulated and developed company where things are clearer and there is more support available.
The startup stage requires a thick skin, tenacity and self confidence update all else. You need to be able to roll with everything because you are at a company that will struggle and endure all norms of growing pains. It's exhausting if you need more input and camaraderie.
The great thing is, a startup will stretch you, put your growth into hyper speed and provide you with a front row seat if it's successful.
You need to spend some time understanding who you are as a professional at this stage and what you personally need to be successful.
A job is just a job unless it clicks with you and offers you a situation where YOU can flourish.
Sabrina CortesMarch 11,2022 at 3:19PM UTC
In a way, I feel like you're missing the opportunity to talk to your boss when they ask you what's the matter. It's obvious to them that you aren't happy and it's good that they care enough to ask. Have you had a candid and respectful talk with them? It might be good to write a few things out beforehand.
And I like what someone else said - break down your ideas into baby steps so that the company is more likely to accept them and the win goes in your favor. Make the changes so tiny so that they don't feel "intimidated" by the them, but you're moving forward at the same time; this way everyone wins. :)
Barb HansenMarch 11,2022 at 4:35PM UTC
What stage is the startup at?
"we're not there yet" is a perfectly acceptable answer in a boot-strapped to Seed stage startup.
But a "we're not there yet" is a sketchy answer if the startup has raised substantial monies. Part of the growth in a startup (after funding) is setting up processes and procedures that will allow that company to continue to grow.
Some managers/leaders in early-stage startups get stuck in "what worked to get us here will always work" but that's categorially not true - growth absolutely means change (both to the finances and internal business processes).
Good startup managers/leaders know that change happens quickly in a startup and that it's okay to focus on internal problems (processes / workflows) instead of always focusing on "move fast and break things".
You may be working for a less-than-good manager, and it might be time to move to another department or another company.