Your manager is not your friend.

78 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 9,2023 at 5:19PM UTC

   I am the only one my manager isn’t cool with. She is very involved in her workers lives. Spends a lot of time outside with them. No boundaries whatsoever. I appreciate the ones who can manage a team. The ones who are her buddies can do as they please.

2. AnonymousMay 9,2023 at 5:22PM UTC

   Yup. My coworker gets away with coming in 10 minutes late, yet I would be fired if I did that. She gets away with other stuff too. Ie: dress, being loud, etc. Another coworker noticed the same thing and said I would never get away with what she has. I am held to a higher standard. Different rules for different people and gets old real quick.

3. AnonymousMay 9,2023 at 5:40PM UTC

   For your upcoming surgery, wishing you the best of care, a peaceful and wonderful recovery, and a nice downtime. You are so right in putting all of your energy into focusing on your health.

4. Paden WorrellMay 9,2023 at 6:25PM UTC

   MY manager is also my cousin by marriage. I'm having the same issues, I just left after emergency eye surgery I've been out for two weeks so far and no one but the bartender at my store wished my good wishes. GO WITH YOUR GUT!!! I just applied to a new job too and I'm so excited.

5. AnonymousMay 9,2023 at 6:56PM UTC

   Good luck with applying for the new job and best wishes moving forward!

6. AnonymousMay 9,2023 at 7:33PM UTC

   Wishing you a speedy recovery! Yes, please continue to put yourself first.

7. AnonymousMay 9,2023 at 9:00PM UTC

   You repeatedly state that your manager is not your friend, but you almost seem upset that your manager isn't striving to be your friend.

   As a manager myself, I try to understand the personal and professional lives of my employees to the level of their comfort. Some are very open and we develop mutual appreciation, while others are much more reserved about their personal lives and I don't force them to share. But there is always a professional boundary that needs to be maintained because if I do have to take remedial action, I need to be able to do so without having to be concerned about a friendship causing bias.

   I do want to address one of your other statements. You say "She also promoted my younger coworker over me, as I have been at the company longer, which clearly does not matter." That actually could indicate the sign of a really good manager who understands that quality, competency, skills and potential are more valuable that longevity. In my company we pay for performance, not length of employment. We promote for performance, nothing is received just because you've checked off a 5 year, 10 year or whatever milestone. So it might be worth an honest look to see if the other employee deserved the promotion more.

8. AnonymousMay 9,2023 at 9:51PM UTC

   I disagree and your statements sound quite judgmental. The OP stated she is reminding herself managers are not their friend even if they seem like it. I don’t think the OP is upset about not being friends with her manager, she is accepting the reality of not being true friends. A manager may be friendly, but that does not equate being friends. At the end of the day boundaries need to be in place. Of course she may be upset about not be promoted, I know I would be.

9. rgstaffing@bellsouth.netMay 11,2023 at 12:15PM UTC

   I totally agree with this. Tenure is not a factor when it comes to promotion. When you get back from your leave, you may want to consider trying to develop a better day to day relationship with your manager. A smile, a good morning how was your weekend, pleasant and warm attitude goes a long way. Do your part and I suspect that you will see a professionally friendlier interaction.

10. AnonymousMay 9,2023 at 10:53PM UTC

    Not trying to defend your manager's bad behavior, but some companies put so much pressure on managers to be productive, when one person has to take a leave it is really hard to manage the work. At my company, we encourage managers to speak with employees going on leave and stay in contact while on leave. We want our employees to feel cared about and know we want them back to work.

11. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 2:02PM UTC

    That's why ADA and FMLA had to be legislated. Management only cares about what's convenient for themselves at the cost of hurting the employees' well being. Most won't make accommodations out of the goodness of their hearts.

12. MislynMay 10,2023 at 3:06AM UTC

    I agree managers/ owners/coworkers etc. should not be your friends. I learned this the hard way. I became really good friends with my boss and it bit me. He used my personal talks we had to talk about me behind my back. I had 100% trust in him and was stabbed in the back. So from now on anyone I work with I will have no relationship/ friendship with what so ever. I go to work to receive a paycheck and nothing more.

13. Alice StokerMay 20,2023 at 1:49AM UTC

    I have had a similar experience. Share work-related information only. Keep coworkers and bosses at arm's-length and document, document, document.

14. MislynJune 2,2023 at 12:53AM UTC

    Oh trust me I have a book of things he’s said and done if I ever need it.( Things he’s done and said to me plus others). I could ruin him in a heartbeat. I’ve got a very close company friend on my side as well. He will bury himself an his own just give it time.

15. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 5:00AM UTC

    With corporate, one spends so much time at work and it is understandable that one would want to have that kind of relationship. However, I have learned from personal experience and witnessing this happen to others how this often (but not always) can backfire. It is part of growth. Definitely keep your life private and have a life outside of work.

    With supervisors, I have never thought it a good idea to be friends with them at all. At one of my contract positions, I knew that it was going to backfire against an employee and she was backstabbed and had to go work somewhere else.

    One of the things that I find disappointing in all of this is that you are actually taking care of your health and doing what's best for you and to be treated this way is sad.

16. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 12:40PM UTC

    Her manager is unhappy because she's going on a month long medical leave. It shows this manager don't give a f about her wellbeing. As long as a staff can perform or maybe perform sub par yet have impresssive arse kissing capability, the staff is favoured by this manager.

17. Balanced372207May 11,2023 at 2:13PM UTC

    Employers really hate the FMLA law and that they must comply with it. I learned that in 2020 when I LEGALLY applied for FMLA. Thankfully, one of my former bosses is an employee rights attorney and steered me in the right direction when they tried to get funky with me.

18. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 2:52PM UTC

    Even so, they do sneaky things to try to circumvent this. I read on IG that someone from her workplace actually tried to call her at home?!

19. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 2:51PM UTC

    Her manager's passive aggressiveness and pettiness about this issue will come back. Believe me when I say this as I can write a trilogy on workplace karma.

20. Looking for a changeMay 10,2023 at 10:47AM UTC

    I agree with everyone on here that managers and coworkers are not your friends 9 out of 10 times. I would also lessen my emails and stick to sending only necessary emails. Stay cordial with her and try not to take it up heart. Try to have interactions in front of others because you might need witnesses to double standards. Good luck on your surgery maybe when you’re done you will find a better spot

21. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 11:30AM UTC

    Yes, setting and maintaining those boundaries are so very important. It can get blurry when everyone's comfortable with each other, but definitely still need to limit personal stuff. I don't like going beyond dog talk, that's my line. Has it helped me to stay away from senseless office drama, ABSOLUTELY, and I LOVE that for myself. Pet talk is the line in the sand.

22. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 12:52PM UTC

    I also keep my conversations strictly pet talk!

23. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 1:55PM UTC

    Excellent excellent excellent point.

24. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 3:59PM UTC

    Not for those of us who don't have a pet. I had a lady who LOVES dogs and her pets a lot. It was too much dog talk and pictures.

25. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 5:08PM UTC

    Believe the point she was making is to pick something to share that's NOT personal enough to feel like invading their privacy. Pets are an example.

26. Kia HarrisMay 10,2023 at 12:31PM UTC

    As a manager, I never share or intrude. I keep my engagements short but emphases on care. I would have said wishing you well so I will say it for her, take care of yourself and let us know if you need anything. Wishing you all the best!

27. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 1:52PM UTC

    I am going through this now except I had a small altercation with my supervisor two week ago. She is friends with all the other coworkers. Before our altercation she wasn't overly friendly with me. She never asked about my weekend but asked everyone else. She always complimented everyone else's clothing or hair but NEVER me. I don't mean to sound vain, but I am one of the best dressed besides another lady. She just doesn't like me. We are about the same age. I'm tired of trying to figure it out. She is definitely not professional. Some of the conversations I overhear make my jaw drop. Just last week she was telling a coworker that reports to her about her sex life.

28. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 1:55PM UTC

    Be glad she doesn't share with you. She is probably intimidated.

29. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 5:55PM UTC

    We must work at the same place. My boss is the same way with me, even tho I am the most reliable and I work hard. And a few will tell their sex stuff and it grossed me out.

30. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 12:36PM UTC

    I wouldn't want to have that as my supervisor.

31. Paula OlsonMay 11,2023 at 3:56PM UTC

    She may compliment those who dress worse to encourage better (let them know she notices how they come to work) or because she has nothing else to say to open a friendly dialogue. She probably figures you already know your hair and clothes are always on point.

32. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 4:34PM UTC

    Had a manager, a man. had a massive interest in other workers personal lives, had flings with two staff and didn't we all know about it,v Most of the office heard him boast of his boozy nights out with his mates who he employed. I was bullied there but he made everyone feel uncomfortable but atmosphere was a disgrace and despite being omly a small charity, the turnover of staff was ridiculous.

    I was in a position of life that I was friendless and single and despite how I felt about the business, went on nights out with staff, ie needing friends,but it was only when I was away from this organisation that I managed develop a decent social life outside of work and met my partner.

    But was out of work for period as interviews were impossible at the time due to completely losing all confidences.

    If you are beginning to feel that uncomfortable in an organisation there will be a better fit out there for you.

    Your boss could favour your colleague due to they performing better than yourself or it could be because of unfortunate other reasons as getting on better with your colleague, but even if it's unjust that kind thing does sadly happen a lot.

    Either way it is, it seems your progress there is not going anywhere and if you want a higher level role, it's more likely elsewhere as you can't rely on your boss leaving.

    One other thing I would say is your boss isn't as friendly now more than likely because they ate more stressed in the higher level job and feel insecure in their role because deep down they could feel that they not up to it. I can understand them not socialising but the odd Howgate you would not ho amiss bit people can be so stressed that pleasantries can be lessened.

    Also what I would say is your boss will feel your resentment even if you have not voiced it and sll in all, the quicker you change organisations and roles the better for you.

    You could then develop a social life outside of work and then the lack of friends in the workplace becomes easier to bear

    None of my long term friends or partner are from anywhere i have worked.

    But the longer you stay at this place, the more your confidences will be eroded.

33. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 9:07PM UTC

    Document, document

34. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 12:08PM UTC

    "Your manager is not your friend."

    Truer words have probably not ever been written on 'Fairygodboss'!

    Also true... your colleagues aren't your friends.

    ALWAYS keep in mind that the workplace is populated with self-serving agendas... everyone is looking out for their career, to keep their job and to move ahead.

35. Abby ZieglerMay 11,2023 at 12:14PM UTC

    Learned this the hard way! This is so true. I also learned how important it is to document EVERYTHING real-time!

36. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 12:30PM UTC

    Yup. Tough lesson. They can replace you in a heartbeat. Your friends and family cant. Just focus on your health. God bless.

37. Sally DiazMay 11,2023 at 12:38PM UTC

    Managers got to do better. It does not show that they have a favorite; it shows the lack of leadership training. Managers should never conduct themselves that way, in which you may feel they have taken a personal liking to you, it's misleading and unprofessional. It should always be professional; no harm in sharing pleasantries,but keep it short and classy. Still, even if it wasn't medical the reason you're going on leave, you shoud not be penalized nor made feel you're missing out because you have to take care of priceless matters like health.

38. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 12:40PM UTC

    It's a good lesson to learn - your manager or boss is just that and not a friend. Keeping personal information to yourself is important unless it's absolutely necessary, like taking time off. My husband is critically ill which means occasional time out of work with FMLA coverage, but I don't share the details. The manager just wants to know your work is done even if they are understanding. Take care of your health and document any issues you have in case you need the information in the future.

39. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 12:41PM UTC

    Playing devil's advocate here, but did it occur to you that the younger coworker was a better fit regardless of how long they have been there? Tenure is not a reason for a promotion, excellent work is.

40. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 12:47PM UTC

    Your manager will be legally prohibited from checking on you during your leave. Don’t take it personally..

41. Balanced372207May 11,2023 at 2:06PM UTC

    They do it, anyway. I had a mastectomy in November, 2020 (height of COVID). At home recovering, three weeks out. Get a knock on my door. It is a coworker, allegedly bringing me a hot (but it wasn't) meal. I am surprised, because on the job, people were being told not to go visiting, wear masks, and stay at home. Coworker comes in. Looks at me, and says, "you look okay to return to work." I still had drains in my body. I showed her.

42. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 4:54PM UTC

    I have a chronic condition, too. My boss keeps telling me how good I look and doesn't understand why my doctor wants me to work from home?! Ok I guess I missed her medical degree in her background...

43. Belinda TagoeMay 11,2023 at 12:49PM UTC

    Very true. If you want friends, then join an organization outside of work. Youth groups, volunteer organizations, clubs… they’re all out there.

44. JillMay 11,2023 at 12:53PM UTC

    My coworker applied for a transfer. It is for a better position. Same as my position. My manager told me she thought she wanted the transfer because of me. It has nothing to do with me. She and I get along fine. It’s a better opportunity and has said so to me

45. Joanna RouseMay 11,2023 at 1:03PM UTC

    Wow this post is critical....I always held to this but you don't always realize that is the case.

    Having my responsibility increased with managing two people instead of one... I also see the side of having a balance. If you are a good leader you realize ppl are human have lives and if you want great employees you have to have a level of care for their personal lives.

    Also when it comes to her time for a need to be off she will want her manager to reciprocate that.

46. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 1:18PM UTC

    This is very true. Also a reminder that people don't usually leave bad jobs, but rather, bad bosses.

47. Kim RaperMay 11,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

    Its so easy to fall into thinking they are your friend ... but always remember its a job to them as well. Its a hard thing to keep in mind at times, especially if the people are truly very nice and caring but you have got to take care of yourself and have boundaries in the work place as in life. Best of luck to you and speedy recovery.

48. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 1:52PM UTC

    Repeat to yourself: "It's not my life, it's just my job." As a single person, I have always invested too much into my work relationships, and that backfired on me in my last job. I moved to a new job where I'm closer to family in a larger city where I can network with people based on interests.I'm so glad I did, because I've had difficulty with a narcissistic coworker and just discovered he's been saying terrible things about me to my boss. I had told her about some of the troubles I've had with him, but the things he's said to her.... whoa.... if they were true, they'd be justification for firing me.I hope my boss can see through his tactics, because I really like my job other than having to deal with this jerk. I've worked with jerks before, and if I move to another job there will probably be a jerk there, too. I usually just minimize my interactions with them, but once they have targeted someone, they will engage others to do their dirty work. They tend to kiss up to the boss, too. They are masters at that, so I don't even try to compete.

    The boss should only care about whether work gets done, but they're human, and suck-ups stroke their egos. And if work doesn't get done because someone sabotaged you under the radar....

    So thanks for the reminder. I really like my boss as a person, but I need to remember those boundaries and invest in my personal life.

49. Nibor EroomMay 11,2023 at 9:20PM UTC

    Your answers shows an astute knowledge of workplace dynamics! There is a gaslighting, kiss ass everywhere!

50. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 2:12PM UTC

    Sadly, that's true.

    Your manager is responsible for doing their job. It's nice when they're friendly with you, but don't ever cross the line of professionalism or expect them to do so because everyone involved can get hurt.

51. LilianaMay 11,2023 at 2:36PM UTC

    Your manager is showing their true colors and they are a bully. It is unprofessional of this person to show favoritism. Sad this has not changed. Wishing you the best.

52. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 3:21PM UTC

    Unfortunately talking about the manager showing true colors and being a bully is kind of unprofessional. Manager is simply shielding themselves from unnecessary scrutiny. As being too friendly with an employee can cause you more damage than imaginable.

53. Elise PilkingtonMay 12,2023 at 12:35AM UTC

    I could not disagree more. Forums like this one are a safe place to vent (sometimes) about problems at work. OP is obviously hurt about her boss showing favoritism, but there is nothing in the post to indicate she has said anything about it to co-workers. FWIW, I've also been a manager, so I understand what you mean, but I think there was a kinder way to say that.

    I empathize, OP. I've had a similar experience and I know it hurts.

54. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 3:32PM UTC

    You mention age and length of employment but you don't mention any performance key indicators. Take a hard look at yourself.

55. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 3:33PM UTC

    Totally agree. Am adding to the potential dangers of getting too close to managers. I had a work colleague who was in management in our dept - she came to team lunches, happy hours together, etc. and was friendly then. We commiserated about being minorities and women in our male dominated industry. Due to some org restructuring a year later, she became my boss and boy did things change after that. She was incredibly rude and defensive. All the small talk and camaraderie went out the window. She had a “her way or the highway” mentality. Did not support my advancement in the company, and even had the gall to be upset with me for seeking to change depts and delayed my transfer on purpose! I’ve been very cautious of getting too personal with ANY colleague since then.

56. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 4:41PM UTC

    similar situation with me

57. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 3:41PM UTC

    Your manager should realise that you are a human, first and foremost, and a worker/colleague second. I hope your manager learns to have more compassion. Best wishes to you with your health.

58. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 4:03PM UTC

    One doesn’t need to be friends but it’s important to get along

59. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 4:49PM UTC

    My manager did something similar... as soon as I needed FMLA leave, now all of sudden my performance is unacceptable! Every review prior to that was fine! Now she doesn't want to engage in small ralk and points out every concern even some that are NOT concerns! It's truly sad! Women need to do better and stop managing from an emotional POV!

    I WISH YOU THE BESR!

60. Patricia EstabrookMay 11,2023 at 5:10PM UTC

    Get well soon. As an employer I have always tried to be kind and patient with my employees. It doesn't work both ways. I now realize that the boss is not your friend neither is the employee your friend. It's all transactional and I am sad but I'll be retiring soon so I guess it doesn't matter.

61. Monette AndersonMay 11,2023 at 5:25PM UTC

    This sounds like Phishing to me too. I'd proceed very cautiously. Ask for the contact at the company and if it's okay if you reach out to someone to confirm, and then call that person through the company directory vs whatever contact they give you to ensure they work there is my best advice.

62. Karen V. OrdonesMay 11,2023 at 5:47PM UTC

    Have you tried having a 1-1 with your manager to tell about how you feel? Perhaps this can be solved with an honest conversation and since human relations are complex... it might be you are incompatible and would make sense either to change jobs OR to keep it distant and strictly professional.

    You can be friends with your manager if... you click with him/her.

63. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 8:58PM UTC

    Here's a comment from the other side of the coin.

    I am a boss where I work. We have a very fine line to cross. We get accused for playing favorites. HR is on us all the time to toe the line between friends and boss.

    At work, we are bosses 1st. Potentially friends 2nd.

    Again, very thin line here. Just yesterday, I was accused of ignoring someone's comments because she wanted me to spotlight her during a meeting. She complained to my boss about it. Had a meeting with the 3 of us. I explained my "why". That The problem is everywhere, and if I jump in and say right, not you, everyone will accuse me of playing favorites. I told that employee that I've been accused in the past, and my boss acknowledged it.

    Very thin line here. It's not about you. It's about protecting everyone.

64. Liz MilneMay 12,2023 at 1:14AM UTC

    I'm so sorry you're experiencing this at a time when you should actually be receiving more support not less: it also shows the truth of the saying: people don't leave bad companies, they leave bad managers... :/

65. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 6:18AM UTC

    It happens sometimes. Take heart

66. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 9:00AM UTC

    Managers don't mean to have favorites but sometimes they, like everyone else, click with certain people. However, a mature manager should be better than that and should support ALL employess. Life happens to all of us, and it's sad we are treated differebtly when it does. People don't usually qui companies, they quit people. Find a place where you can grow and thrive.

67. PebblesMay 12,2023 at 12:06PM UTC

    First of all, good luck and speedy recovery. Hope it all works out well!

    Second, I manage a small team, and I can tell you that as much as I want to and try to be neutral and interact with everyone the same way, it’s difficult when each person’s attitude and performance level is so different. One person, for example, is a superstar, finding new solutions, talking to me everyday, asking questions, creating great work, and becoming an expert on our systems. Another one can’t seem to get the vibe of the company and team, misses deadlines, cannot prioritize, and has given me “final” reports that I’ve had to completely redo. This person happens to think they are doing a great job.

    It’s a colossal challenge to interact with the second person. They don’t seem to like feedback and push back at every turn. I’ve been furious and sick over this and the team - and the organization - is suffering as a result of this person’s lack of competence. I’m supportive and try to give them whatever they need to learn and grow, yet they constantly complain about lack of training. And so on. They won’t quit, and due to so much red tape, I can’t fire them.

    All this to say that there can be reasons why a manager struggles to click with one team member but has rapport with others. I am not being accusatory at all, but I think we always have to look at our own actions and not make up stories as to if or why someone doesn’t like us.

    Yes, your health comes first, 100%. Deal with that and then find something else.

68. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 3:16PM UTC

    You’re playing favorites and that’s never a good look. Maybe your star employee just has had more opportunities or didn’t have trauma. There are so many reasons why one person can out perform and another struggles and usually it’s not their fault. Sometimes but usually not.

69. PebblesMay 12,2023 at 6:45PM UTC

    I appreciate your perspective, but that is not even remotely the case. I am not getting into many details here, but when a person refuses to take feedback, doesn't apologize for mistakes, and ignores deadlines, for starters, then it's pretty tough to blame the manager.

70. AnonymousMay 13,2023 at 6:01PM UTC

    Playing faves creates an hostile environment.

71. AnonymousMay 14,2023 at 7:37PM UTC

    I think we all get that.

    I also manage people, and not everyone performs at the same level. No favoritism, but I know where to go if I have an important assignment.

72. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 12:10PM UTC

    Good luck with your surgery. I have also had a similar issue with my manager whom I thought was like a friend but turns not to be the case. NEVER TRUST THEM!

73. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 7:08PM UTC

    It is better to stay at your job and learn how to deal with the nature of people when they are confronted with things they do not like. Sadly, it is everywhere. There are no perfect people. What you deal with at this job will be at your next job. It could be worse. Sorry to be the bearer of bad news. Just take care of you and don't worry about the boss or others.

74. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 9:14PM UTC

    You are right about this. We all have to deal with unpleasantness - whether we start a new job, relocation, new people to meet, etc. kind of transition in life. Me too I will leave a job I like, will be relocating because my hubby has a very good job offer. I yielded because this is what he was waiting for and I support him. It's bittersweet, however, I take it one day at a time, I enjoy the NOW. As for you, lady, take care of yourself, be healthy and inner peace to you...

75. surfnwriteMay 13,2023 at 1:16PM UTC

    Yeah and don’t ever “friend” your manager on any social media sites for God’s sake.

76. Marilyn BartlettMay 13,2023 at 6:28PM UTC

    Yeah, no kidding. When I was laid off some years back from a position I'd held for seven years I was glad I hadn't, because then I didn't have to deal with the awkwardness of "unfriending" them after I left. I have a couple other colleagues from that firm that I'm still friends with to this day, but we don't share anything overly personal, just family group pictures, major news such as graduations, weddings, etc. (all after the fact); no drama, no current work issues.

77. Rebecca MillikenMay 13,2023 at 5:21PM UTC

    I have learned to take nothing personally ever at work. I'm not cold with my coworkers and bosses, and I DO share personal information with them, since I work in a small office. However, I don't consider myself friends with any of them and I don't spend time outside the office socializing with anyone.

    I've had a lot of jobs over the 40 plus years in the workforce and have realized the best course of action for my own emotional health is to have a kind of apathy towards others actions and behavior. I go in, do my job well, and go home.

    If someone has an issue, it's their problem, not mine. I make sure of this by making sure nothing is personal on my end--not cold or anti-social, just not personal.

78. AnonymousFebruary 2,2024 at 8:56PM UTC

    I received smiliar treatment from a former coworker who I considered a friend because she helped me return to a company that I'd tried hard to return to. I didn't share everything with her but I shared too much. At some point, I pissed her off. She "had the ear" of our boss, and after almost two years on the team, my position was eliminated. 4 days later, my coworker announced she was pregnant and due during our yearly trade show. To this day, I've no idea what I may have done "wrong" except make both of my team members feel threatened by my abilities and eagerness to learn and do more. I asked for more work daily, finished all assignments, volunteered at all community outreach on behalf of our team, and when I tried to earn an industry certification, I was told to wait. Then BOOM, I was gone. I wish I'd at least been given the opportunity to try for other positions within the company first. I felt blacklisted in both my company and my industry. I'm now considering doing something completely different careerwise after investing 10 years into this recent career path. Follow your instincts and keep looking. Just don't let it be known that you're looking because word gets around!