I am NOT an aggressive self-starter.

26 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 20,2022 at 5:25PM UTC

   I empathize. I too am not naturally a self starter, but give me a task and I'm the best employee ever. Makes working from home in my current job very stressful. Only advice I can think of is to be brutally honest about this to your next employer so they know what to expect. Also, when I get stuck in the "don't want to bother people" loop, I finally hit the bottom and say "whatever I don't care what other people think or if I look stupid" and just reach out.

2. AnonymousSeptember 20,2022 at 7:09PM UTC

   This sounds painful for you, and I'm so sorry. The best suggestion I can offer, and as a manager I appreciate it, is to consult with your supervisor. After the first couple of times you receive guidance, remember what you were told, and see if you can apply that same guidance to the next, similar situation. To help ease any anxiety, approach your supervisor and say "Last time, we did x. I plan to do the same this time, because it's a similar situation. Let me know if I should do something else instead." And then go ahead and do it. As far as filling your time...while you're working, think about any efficiencies that might be gained if a process or procedure were tweaked. Then, when there's downtime, make a proposal to your supervisor for the improvement. If you get the green light, you'll already have all the info you need to run with it. I hope one or the other of these suggestions is helpful. All the best to you!

3. AnonymousSeptember 20,2022 at 10:10PM UTC

   What pay ranges are you looking at when you're looking for new jobs? Generally, the higher the pay scale, the more independent the position. There used to be lots of jobs where there was a never-ending list of tasks that were pretty straightforward. Unfortunately, as technology has advanced, many of those tasks (and entire positions) have been automated. 20 years ago the "entry level" position in my office required only general experience. Now the lowest level is 2 pay grades higher and I doubt anyone without at least some direct experience would be successful. But because we're paying them so much more, we also expect them to work more independently and at a higher level.

   There was someone on here recently talking about an executive assistant position at a local community college. There was non-stop work, but it was a bit chaotic. That's pretty common in support positions in higher education, and sounds like it might be a good fit for you. A (never-ending) list of deliverables, and some freedom to figure out how to accomplish the tasks.

   Kudos to you for recognizing your limitations and best of luck in finding the perfect position that plays to your strengths.

4. AnonymousSeptember 20,2022 at 10:16PM UTC

   This is meant with caring, but no one has the time or resources to give someone of your experience direction all the time when you are finished with your primary duties. It sounds like it has cost you more than one role. Yes, you need to figure it out. When you are given something without procedures, research thhat thing and write the process of doing it for yourself. Be the best at it. Share it with your boss when it is done. Tell them what you learned and what you want to learn next. Google "how to" videos on YouTube. Ask who the experts at the company are and give them specific questions after you have learned what you can without them. That's not aggressive self-starting, that's being part of a team. The things that I became expert at and could bring the most value with have always been the things I had to figure out for myself. That willingness to put yourself out there is what will bring you to fulfillment and a path. Your age has less to do with it. I am only a bit behind you.

5. Jamie BatchelderSeptember 21,2022 at 12:28PM UTC

   It’s a hundred times worse to look lazy and unproductive or lacking in initiative than to ask a question and “look stupid”. You clearly know what the issue is so you need to do something about it. Get curious about your work. Ask why. Research the answers to questions. Ask other departments or team members what they’re working on and if you can sit in and gain knowledge on other processes within the company. It just sounds like you aren’t motivated.

6. AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 12:29PM UTC

   I am assuming you are not applying for high level roles where independent work would be expected.

   I also appear to be the anomaly in these replies, but I manage a team of mid level associates and I expect them to do their job, as it’s written, not find additional work to do. If it’s something that will add value I’d likely ask someone to work on it, that’s my job. I firmly believe you don’t need to fill 40 hours to have been considered productive. The best advice I have is to be fairly transparent during an interview to identify a match between the direct supervisor and yourself .

7. Chre M. Davis, M.S.Ed.September 21,2022 at 12:58PM UTC

   Great advice! If you're doing your job responsibities in 30-35 hours of work a week, I'd say you're more than covering what should be expected. To be expected to fill 5-10 hours with work and no direction at all (because yes, some people do need that, and should not be cause for shame!), is more on the manager than the employee. Allow your employees time in their typical 40 hours to fill other professional development goals, training, etc. instead of micromanaging.

8. AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 3:51PM UTC

   This. If I as a manager haven't given someone enough work to do, or they've done all the things needed, then I'm happy for them to knock off early. This mad world where people must be chained to their desk (real or virtual) till the clock chimes 5 is bonkers.

   FWIW, I usually keep a list of small jobs that need doing but aren't a priority, so that people have bits to get on with if needed. But if the core work is done, that's literally the job.

9. Meredith EisgrauSeptember 21,2022 at 12:39PM UTC

   I have found that when I am in the "find your own work" space I've used it creatively to uplevel my knowledge on competition, a deeper dive on systems and programs, and employee engagement with others in the workspace.
   Use the current pain points you are hearing about or experiencing to throw some new initiatives on the table so others can help you remove the smoke before it become a fire.

   You may want to try consulting/freelancing in the meantime- companies like Kelly OCG (they have a benefits package you could explore) and Fiverr are 2 examples.

   By doing smaller projects, you can try other lines of work that could land you your next full time gig.

   If you want to remain a firefighter, find a role in Operations. You will NEVER have a dull moment.

   Know what you love to do and what you are good at. Those paths overlap. THAT is the work you need to seek for your next role. Best wishes on your new endeavor.

10. AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 12:41PM UTC

    Work for the government. They get excited if you even do half your assigned tasks.

11. AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 12:45PM UTC

    I work for the government and do not find this to be true of any of the teams I've been on for the last 20+ years. Especially now when teams are MUCH smaller and we are all doing more with less people. Just my perspective.

12. AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 3:48PM UTC

    I also work for government (and have done for the last 20 odd), and while the pressure to do the tasks is there, actually being good at them will make you stand out. And the good thing is, because as you say the teams are ever smaller and more overworked, someone will always be delighted for help!

13. AnonymousSeptember 22,2022 at 12:56AM UTC

    I work for a state government agency and what you said is not true.
    Government agencies are squeezing more out of employees with less staff…and fewer resources. I find I cannot finish some of my assignments because I’m doing the work of 3 people. And the agency absolutely refuse to hire more. Turnover is crazy…and I’m one of the more senior staff at 3 years.

14. Christi LopezSeptember 21,2022 at 1:01PM UTC

    This might just be me projecting, but part of it sounds like you might benefit from working on your self confidence, and the other part sounds like you may fear failure. I struggled with both early in my career. It took stage three cancer in my early thirties to really make me let go of this notion that I needed to be perfect and needed to meet others' expectations. I realized all those people I thought were watching me and expecting me to be perfect were all in my head.

    So think about the major tasks of your job, think about the way you do them, and research to see if there's a better way, or a way that better fits your operating style.

    When I have down time between projects, I spend it doing professional learning. I have an entire folder full of webinars I want to watch. I also try to keep up-to-date on trends and industry standards. So, as a graphic designer, for me it's not only researching the newest releases of software, but looking at project management, current typography and web design trends, etc. Plus, I just love learning new things. As an almost 50yo, it helps keep my mind sharp.

    It will take work on your part. And it will take a willingness to ask questions and risk feeling "dumb." Just know that you're the only one thinking that your questions are "dumb." You can do this!

15. Kathryn MontbriandSeptember 21,2022 at 1:06PM UTC

    I'll offer one new angle for this situation.

    You know that you have talent in specific areas -- you are great at following a process and precisely executing against instruction. You know that you are less skilled in finding extra work to do and/or creating your own playbook.

    Could you find a function or industry that highly values the first part and does not require the second?

    Offhand I'm thinking there may be something in banking compliance, health care, or maybe criminal law where being able to execute detailed tasks based on a written procedure is highly valued.

    Good luck as you figure out your next step!

16. AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 1:08PM UTC

    I have felt this way in the past.

    it was not until my manager pointed out that if I wanted a promotion it needed to be based on work to benefit others or the product. Since I didn’t know what that meant i strait up asked for examples. Some of their examples were things I didn’t know how to do and some I was able to use skills I have to build upon to help direct others/ make processes better.

    In my line of work, if you help to improve others thought processes, work processes it’s considered a level above work.

    my point is to think about what you’re good at and try to help others do what you do well some how. Make a guide, make a process or improve a process. A lot of the time a document will impress people on the steps you take to do your job. I know….. mind boggling isn’t it.

17. Shelly EdwardsSeptember 21,2022 at 1:40PM UTC

    I would ask for a copy of your job description. Sometimes in less busier jobs, when I found myself with very little to do, I would review the job description to remind me of other duties that I didn't do on a regular basis as a starting point to create tasks to do. I would also speak to a supervisor when you feel your work load is getting light to ask for specific tasks and direction. It seems like maybe you tried, but did you then try to figure it out when given loose instruction? If your supervisor said look it up in SAP, did you try to do that? When you were told to compare pricing, did you perhaps develop a list of items you purchased on a regular basis to start with? This is not being super aggressive. This is taking responsibility for your job. If your boss said, compare prices, it's up to you to know what you buy and work on those comparisons. I would suggestin your next job, you take more initiative when given loose instructions to try to resolve what they are asking you to do. Supervisors don't want to holdy your hand. They want to say do this and you get it done. You can do this if you put forth some more effort.

18. AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 2:59PM UTC

    Look at your local 9-1-1 Center. They are ALWAYS hiring, and your job is literally to sit there and wait for calls to come in. You're doing a job that saves lives and helps people, and there isn't much time to "be proactive" with busy work (There is no busy work in a 9-1-1 call center!!) A lot of locations have made recent strides in paying well, and USUALLY governments have decent benefits. It's something to look into.

19. Guy ShrimptonSeptember 21,2022 at 3:45PM UTC

    My best advice would probably be to ask others and make a list of possible activities for reference when needed. The ideal thing would be to ask the manager and them give you direction, but in the absence of that, take them at their word and do exactly what they said: pick something to check the prices of, maybe starting in alphabetical order.

    How about this, when work is low, ask the manager and others if there is anything they would like to offload, and if not they've had their chance so just pick something by alphabetical or highest cost or whatever, and just do some basic searching. By the sounds of it, it doesn't even really need to be valuable, just about looking busy.

    If you can do training courses, maybe use that time too. No one can argue with personal development.

    Don't worry too much. We all have things we're good at, and areas of weakness. At least you're asking about what to do! Most people don't.

    One final one, if you want a job of value, the public (government) sector or charity sector is always in need of people who can do a process well, and you're working for the greater good.

20. JulieSeptember 21,2022 at 4:22PM UTC

    I am going to propose something completely different. Have you ever been screened for ADHD? Job loss, lack of direction or just not knowing how to start things are all symptoms of the inattentive subtype. You prob have great executive function skills which is why it’s not come up before but you sound like so many other adult women with late diagnosis. This may not help with your immediate issue and I would also suggest a job like pharmacy tech where you must follow rules might be great for you also as an idea. Hope there’s no paywall here: https://apple.news/A93ll-G6qTpyDO57GZgVdrw

    the article is in Harper’s bazaar about women and ADHD.

21. AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 10:09PM UTC

    YES!!! ADD or ADHD. I have it and only found out at 55. I always knew I didn’t “get it” and wondered why everyone else “gets it “ the first time. How can they remember everything while I’m writing copious notes in meetings? Finally a friendly boss told me he has ADD and he sees it in me too. What a blessing to be helped with this information. I’m so much better now. Please get checked and get the help you need. Good luck.

22. icasiano13September 22,2022 at 2:13AM UTC

    I was going to suggest the same thing. Please, please, consider this suggestion. You can read more here:

    https://www.additudemag.com/over-60-adhd-women-late-diagnosis-benefits-challenges/?utm_source=eletter&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=adult_september_2022&utm_content=092022&goal=0_d9446392d6-eb3e675713-295702489

23. Clydene HorriganSeptember 21,2022 at 10:59PM UTC

    Look into something like an entry writer at a customs house or data entry. It sounds like you like to learn some routine and be very good at that thing.

24. laSeptember 22,2022 at 2:53PM UTC

    It seems like you struggle with task initiation and prioritization and possibly breaking down projects into smaller steps.

    These are characteristics of ADHD and that should be considered, but it may simply be a skill that has not been developed.

    One thing that does jump out to me though is that you are doing your job and just happen to complete it faster than others. If you are doing the same workload as others in your position but get it done faster (and correctly) then you shouldn't be punished for it. Some of the suggestions offered seem like things that you can do on the occassional times you finish early but certainly not something you would do weekly. How much can those prices change week to week? You have been hired to do a job and if you are completing it satisfactorily, then there shouldn't be a problem.

    Of course this becomes an issue if you are hourly rather than salaried. In which case, you may have to learn to slow down and spread out your work a bit.

    Also you can take on additional tasks that excite you rather than waiting for directions. Does your job already have a thorough training manual for your position? If not then volunteer to make one! Maybe do the same for other positions. Can you start or join a networking team for your field? Volunteer to create a newsletter of changes in your industry (researching this can eat up time for you). Or develop and keep up to date a tracking sheet of price changes.

    Another thing that jumps out in your post is that you lack initiative on creating work for you. You may have been raised in a way to only do what others specifically tell you and are afraid to jump out for new things. This is a needed skill in todays job market. Take a look around and see what you think might benefit the company or its employees and start the project. When your assigned work is done, you can work on these ideas. Few bosses are going to get mad at you for researching and making an effort towards something that would help even if it wasn't specifically asked for. You have ownership of your job and should act within that capacity. Do not expect your supervisors to take on the mental baggage of figuring out how to expand your time.

    This is said with empathy. Perhaps you are struggling with ADHD or perhaps you simply have not been giving "permission" to take ownership and do things without clearing it with other people first. So I offer these other suggestions to give you the permission to act within the authority of your job and take ownership rather than having someone else tell you how to spend every minute of your time (which is a mental load for them - you are there to ease their ability to do their job, not to add on to yet another thing to manage).

25. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachSeptember 22,2022 at 4:27PM UTC

    Hey MBee!

    I can totally help you with cultivating the skills of being a self-starter, finding a new job, and making a good impression of consistently delivering value when you are there. I have some methods that can help you stay solutions-focused and consistently deliver value - without having to be told what to do or how to do it all the time. Here's my link to sign up for a free consult call https://maeganmillercoaching.as.me/consultcall

26. MBee170September 23,2022 at 4:22AM UTC

    Oh - you guys are the BEST! I started reading all of your responses and wanted to stop and tell you how excited I am to see people who don't see me as failing.

    Unfortunately, I was let go on Monday, which is the drive to look for work.

    At this last position, they paid lip service to 'set your own priorities' but I have found that when people say that, they still want me to match their plan.

    I'm reading job descriptions that ask for 'multi-taskers', 'self-starters' and 'excellent communicators' and those feel like the weaknesses in my skill set. I need to be better.

    I did tell hubby I thought I should 'talk to someone' . The ADD / ADHD idea has occured to me, but I don't know where to start to work on that.

    I have applied for two jobs, at places that declined to interview me last year. I figured that was a good way to get in the swing of things without being surprised if I dont' hear anything.

    MBee