Workaholic boss doesn’t respect our work schedules

16 Comments

1. Holly NunnallySeptember 23,2022 at 11:06AM UTC

   Have you talked to her about this? I think that would be a great place to start. You could explain to her that when the workday is over you need to shut down that part of your day and focus on family time.

   You could also stop taking her calls after you are off the clock. If my job did not require me to work outside of normal business hours, I wouldn't. Especially with how you feel after getting off the phone with her.

2. Amy ConwaySeptember 23,2022 at 12:29PM UTC

   I would tell her exactly this! She can’t determine your boundaries, you have to set those. When the calls begin to spiral, be direct that you need to get back to your other tasks, etc. if there are not other pertinent topics to review. When asked if you have 5 minutes at the end of the day, I used to say I have 5 minutes, but if this topic will need a longer time then we can schedule it tomorrow.

3. AnonymousSeptember 23,2022 at 12:56PM UTC

   id like to offer some alternative perspectives for diversity of thinking. Let’s get curious.

   1) Why do you think she’s calling for ad hoc meetings?

   2) Why do you think her work is harried?

   3) Is the team working on highly visible projects?

   4) Are processes and ways of working yet to be established?

   5) do team members need a lot of support? (Think from her perspective)

   Ok. So she’s got a mountain of work and isn’t very good at delegating yet. Are you familiar with her goals for the team? What’s next on the backlog? Have you offered to take on some items that align with your role?

   My suggestion is: A) recognize that you work at the behest of the manager, B) take initiative and C) make yourself valuable. When these things are present I think you’ll notice that work like balance will improve for ALL.

   Youre complaining about the side effects without “root causing” the problem.

4. AnonymousSeptember 23,2022 at 1:33PM UTC

   I honestly think she’s just in over her head. My direct reports are doing great and are having no issues with their work. They report to me. I report to her. She is new to the position with zero managerial/leadership experience and was given this position as a political move (yeah, toxic environment, I know).

   She is having these long, ad-hoc conversations with my direct employees sometimes and they hang up feeling the same way as me.

   When I offer suggestions or something to help the issue, it goes nowhere. I don’t have all of the answers and I shouldn’t be expected or assumed to be her therapist. I’m more than grateful and honored she feels comfortable enough to share some of the things with me, but I’m still human at the end of the day and I don’t need added stress. I have my own thing going on and just because she just got handed the role, she still accepted it and I still expect her to come up with solutions on her own (do her job) as the leader of the group - not us doing all of the work for her.

5. AnonymousSeptember 23,2022 at 12:59PM UTC

   This is me right now. I have a handful of direct reports that aren’t meeting the bar and I am unexpectedly carrying their work while I phase them out because I can’t afford for the team

   to fail at an exec outcome that was committed to by a prior manager.

6. AnonymousSeptember 23,2022 at 1:03PM UTC

   What is the nature of the content in these ad hoc meetings? Is she sharing departmental news? Changes on the team? Painpoints? Lessons

   learned? Challenges?

   It sounds as though you are characterizing these meetings as completely useless. that seems unlikely. Maybe the communication is more delicate than you are accustomed to. What would happen if you asked some follow up questions— like “how can we help?”

7. AnonymousSeptember 23,2022 at 1:19PM UTC

   The nature of the content is her complaining about random things that I cannot help with. She doesn’t really share any news or changes on the team, or lessons learned. If I ask “how can I help” or I suggest solutions, the call lasts another 2 hours and it gets nowhere. I don’t want to be her therapist. I have my own things to worry about.

8. ValerieSeptember 23,2022 at 1:15PM UTC

   Observation: some workaholics use "work" as an excuse to escape their home life. That does not mean, however, that you need to suffer for it. Stand firm on your schedule.

9. Shelly EdwardsSeptember 23,2022 at 2:26PM UTC

   I would ask her to schedule the calls during your normal work hours and set an agenda in advance of the call to help focus the matters. Let her know that you can appreciate that her time is valuable and so is yours, so in order to have a more productive and efficient "meeting" call you would like to have a set amount of time for the call and a set agenda when possible, and that those calls should be kept to regular business hours. I would make it clear that other than an emergency circumstance, you will not be answering emails or calls outside of your normal work hours. You need to set boundaries with people who don't have an effective work/life balance for themselves.

10. Kelly HammerOctober 1,2022 at 2:54AM UTC

    This is really solid advice. The tone is professional and would make it impossible for retaliation

11. AnonymousSeptember 23,2022 at 5:52PM UTC

    Sometimes we have to teach people how to treat us. The next time your boss calls you after your normal work hours, do not answer. After a while she will stop trying and learn to only reach you during your actual work hours. If she inquires about it the next day, just say you left your phone in your car or in your laundry and so sorry you missed the call. It happens often enough she will stop. No employer has a legal right to have you work beyond the scope of what they are paying you to do. Im not gleaming that you are getting paid overtime for these long discussions are you? If you start a call before your shift ends and you sense that she will extend the call before your shift, 10minutes before it ends, start summarizing the call....when she stops yapping to take a breath, that is your que to start summarizing the call. Okay so I understand you said x, y,z I see the takeaway or action items or IOUs are as follows. Learn to initiate summarizing the calls 10min before it ends. And then 2 minutes before your shift end just say. Ok so and so, now that I think I summarized everything you mentioned on this call. I do need to wrap up my day now...so if there is nothing else, I hope you have a good afternoon. Take control of the situation using these techniques. And she will learn eventually those boundaries through your own suttle actions. Give it a try and good luck!

12. AnonymousSeptember 23,2022 at 7:55PM UTC

    Set boundaries and don't take her calls after hours.

    The over the top hours are based in her fear. Over-compensating is her issue not the Team's issue. Stop enabling her. She thinks she us impressing you. Do not play along.

13. Mary JohnsonOctober 4,2022 at 5:35PM UTC

    Absolutely this. I sometimes change my schedule to fit in with a travelling boss so we can catch up, but I tell my team. I may send you messages out of hours, which are normally things he's asked about, please do not reply until your work hours.

14. AnonymousSeptember 24,2022 at 3:32AM UTC

    Workaholic boss is showing off for the team. She wants you to believe she's working up a storm.

    Don't fall for the late night calls and weekend emergencies. Don't play into the charade.

    There is no reason at all to pick up that phone.

15. AnonymousSeptember 24,2022 at 1:04PM UTC

    Set. Your. Boundaries.

    Speaking from a similar experience, I previously had a workaholic boss, who was great as a person but terrible as a manager and thought leader. Your work is your priority and you are responsible for you. Keep that in mind when you get a ping for a quick chat and reply with what you are working on and you will get back to then once you have completed your allocated time to focus. Emphasize how you want to get done what you are doing. Block calendar time and put yourself in do not disturb with an auto reply of when you will check emails and messages so everyone knows you are in, but busy. This helped minimize meaningless interactions and keep me on track and able to leave at an appropriate time. Good luck!

16. Mary JohnsonOctober 4,2022 at 5:34PM UTC

    I am guilty of sometimes being online early or late at night. This is sometimes my workload was very heavy or my boss was travelling and due to timezones it worked for us. However, I have made it clear to my team, I do not expect to the see the same from them. I don't want to get a 'quick email/teams message' at 9pm and I also don't want them to reply if I email them out of hours.

    If I need to rant I rant at my boss or one trusted work colleague. I would never rant at my team.

    I think you need to set boundaries and that you can't talk at family time etc. If you use Teams utilise the fact you can put yourself on DND and that way messages will have to wait.

    If you feel brave enough, you could say 'you seem to message a lot out of hours, I can't respond at these times due to my family commitments, I suggest we have a weekly catch up to go through things.'