Doing what’s best for me, knowing it wil cause “bad blood”.

Anonymous

July 21,2022 at 2:16PM UTC

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Doing what’s best for me, knowing it wil cause “bad blood”.

I have a position at a company as a senior manager. My boss and I also have a friendship, as we have worked together for a good number of years. Due to the company acquiring new contracts, we both moved to this new division. In this new structure, I am listed as the “Director” but I’ve come to realize this is solely window dressing. Since we have been in our current positions for almost three years, I have had to contend with her control issues. She has made it clear both overtly and covertly to all staff the she is “The Boss” and she makes all the decisions. She will make decisions without my knowledge: hiring, policy changes, etc that should be my responsibility. She will attend meetings with the CEO about the division that I’m not made aware of. These things are very important because on paper I’m the responsible party! When I have attempted to address this, she becomes defended and it’s not pretty or productive. I have been relegated to mostly administrative (clerical) tasks. I’ve come to the conclusion that while I like her personally and respect her professionally, I cannot work with her. I am currently interviewing for another position and if offered, I will resign. Along with this resignation I know I will damage the relationship-not my intention but unavoidable I think.

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SBJuly 21,2022 at 2:32PM UTC
You hit the nail on the head when you said, "Doing what is best for me," as the subject. She is feeling threatened, and has control issues. This is not healthy for your or constructive for your career. Your departure may actually improve the relationship (if you still want it), but it sounds as though working together is no longer, well, working.
I wish you the very best of luck!
AnonymousJuly 21,2022 at 3:37PM UTC
Such is life. If your relationship is strong it will survive.
I would worry more about the damage this situation could do to your career if left unattended.
Good luck with your job search. Keep it very secret until your give notice.
Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 21,2022 at 5:04PM UTC
I'm not exactly sure why you consider this person a friend.
If she was really your friend she wouldn't be undermining you at every turn like this.
EvJuly 21,2022 at 7:50PM UTC
I considered her a friend. Since I know about her personal and professional history, I have some insight into her behavior. Still unacceptable though.
AnonymousJuly 22,2022 at 5:08PM UTC
The relationship is already damaged.
Move on, and don't look back. Having "director" in your title is a win for you, even if it is a hollow word. Leverage it for your advantage, be a good sport, and live by the mantra "living well is the best revenge."
AnonymousJuly 22,2022 at 7:31PM UTC
You are making the right decision about leaving. Especially if it has been effecting you to this extent. Friends come and go and very few remain static. Some friendships become stale and toxic and need to die. See your situation like that. There are enough shitty people in this world. Keep them out your energy as much as you can and always put your wellbeing first.
Leader135412August 7,2022 at 1:02PM UTC
Your coworkers are not your friends. You can be friendly while working, but keep it at that. When you become emotionally vested you can get compromised. Effecting your emotions and performance at work. Walking on eggs all day will wear on your nerves after awhile. Make a stand and if it doesn't change, move on.