Having a bad boss is never pleasant. But it can motivate you to seek new opportunities or to learn what you DON’T want or what you WON’T accept.

21 Comments

1. AnonymousMay 27,2024 at 2:44PM UTC

   I am so sorry you are going through this. I had a similar situation happen to me. I know I made a few mistakes, But- in the end I had a really bad boss. She got angry, frustrated and had been at the company a long time. It takes time- but you will be better off and know the right questions - so you do not end up n this situation again! ?

2. Dr. Erica WallsMay 27,2024 at 4:19PM UTC

   Yes! Growth is the goal. Thank you for sharing your perspective.

3. Marla FieldsMay 27,2024 at 3:26PM UTC

   Yes I have had a bad boss or 5 but I have learned something from every boss I have had (over 20 during my years). From bad ones I learn how to control my temper, when to speak up, how to advocate for yourself to skip level and higher managers, how to navigate hr, how to craft and execute an exit strategy, how to build a support structure at work, how and what to document, how to protect yourself and others, how to say hard things to a superior, what kind of boss to NOT be, things to NOT do as a boss, and I'm sure I'm missing something!

   While unpleasant, I learn a lot about myself and my org when working for a bad boss.

4. Dr. Erica WallsMay 27,2024 at 4:16PM UTC

   Oh wow! My favorite is learning what kind of boss you won’t be... because you know how it feels. Empathy is a great leadership characteristic. Never undervalue that!

5. AnonymousMay 27,2024 at 3:53PM UTC

   in it right now

6. Dr. Erica WallsMay 27,2024 at 4:17PM UTC

   Know that you're not alone. I've had a few myself.

7. AnonymousMay 27,2024 at 7:45PM UTC

   Retail has been the biggest unfortunate teacher. Between people without a passion for what they do nor a desire to improve themselves was frustrating when I would be looked over. I also learned ,greatly, what does and doesn’t matter in the big scheme, just from ill-prepared managers. Things like dress code (as long as it’s followed) are just trivial. I have seen people also be so tightly wound that I would get heartburn from listening to them. Most of all, being dedicated should end at the office door and after 5pm. And nonprofits can act too similarly to corporations when you have the wrong people…

8. AnonymousMay 27,2024 at 9:52PM UTC

   I've only had a few REALLY bad managers and it was due to their own insecurity. When I interview now, I look for these things:

   1) Is the hiring manager stressed during the interview (Bad Sign!!!)

   2) Does the hiring manager know "their stuff too", it's important to work for a competent manager, who also has expertise in your field, otherwise you will accidentally "outshine them" leading them to be insecure and they will --take it out on you

   3) Ask about life/work balance, and if the hiring manager doesn't instantly have a response, then it means they will never respect any time off you might need off (aka annual doctor's appointments)

9. Loretta WMay 28,2024 at 2:13AM UTC

   I 100% agree!

10. KatieMay 28,2024 at 11:26AM UTC

    I had a manager who would look at presentations I produce and love the data and story but criticize the color of graphs and other objects. It drove me crazy. It is something I promised myself I would never do when I manage. Always a balance of giving feedback. Tell me how I can improve a data set or analysis. Forget about the color of the line graph.

11. AnonymousMay 28,2024 at 12:36PM UTC

    The number of ways a boss can suck seems infinite. The worst for me was being someone's first professional-level report after decades of experience as a supervisor of professionals and paraprofessionals. She treated me like I was new to the profession, my evaluation read like a report card, and she couldn't seem to find time to read my proposals, so I had to sit around doing nothing waiting for green lights that never came. I was ultimately driven out, but fortunately I used my experience to document everything in HR legalese and let HR know I wasn't going down without a fight. I got a severance package and was replaced by someone fresh out of school. I wouldn't wish that experience on my worst enemy. Not being willing to stand for mistreatment saved me financially.

12. AnonymousMay 29,2024 at 12:34PM UTC

    This. Nothing is worse than trying to manage up a jr manager that wants to treat you like you are just out of highschool.

13. AnonymousMay 28,2024 at 3:18PM UTC

    I have had many managers and only 2 (at different companies) were truly intolerable in the worst ways (at least for me). Coincidentally, they both had the same name. In both circumstances, I had to make some really tough and terrifying decisions. Ultimately, I ended up with better positions both times. In the roles and since the roles, I've learned that I am my own best advocate, I'm only the center of my own universe, I can now better communicate what I need and how I work best, and I am a resourceful badass when it comes to job hunting, lining up benefits, etc!

14. Heather McMay 28,2024 at 4:03PM UTC

    I've learned that the grass isn't always greener.

    I've left jobs because of bad bosses, but a lot of it has to do with my reaction to them. If I look back at prior roles, I think the "bad boss" reason for leaving a job may be more about my stubborness and unwillingness to back down when I think I'm right. Sometimes, you just have to let people be wrong and do what they're asking (as long as it's legal).

    I legitimately left a role due to a bad boss who yelled out "I can't believe I pay you [insert my annual salary] for this job!" in front of my staff. He also told me when he handed me a promotion letter that he was proud to offer me the role at below market cost (and the salary band for that role) because I didn't have experience in that role.

    So there are bad bosses out there, but you have to be willing to look inward to make sure it's not something you're contributing to that makes it worse.

15. Zeecil KimmelMay 28,2024 at 6:18PM UTC

    I learned if you do not love yourself no one else will.

    I left a bad boss - he wasn't abusive just lazy and I did his work for no recognition at all. In fact, the promotion and raise carrot I was promised went to the new (male) hiree who was half my age and had little experience. So I found another employer who would appreciate me and pay more and I never looked back. Is it paradise? no - likely I will soon be looking again. But it taught me no one will stand up for me I need to do it myself.

16. AnonymousMay 29,2024 at 12:25PM UTC

    Taught me the "fine lines" between micromanagement and no management at all. I like structure and all but do appreciate flexibility and trust.

    Unfortunately a string of bad experiences has pushed me into finding something adjacent to what I've been working for the past several years. It was going to happen, I think, but poor leadership/management didn't help

17. AnonymousMay 29,2024 at 1:14PM UTC

    I have had many more bad bosses over the years than good ones. Lucky me. Yes, I was motivated to leave those places, and eventually, I did, but those experiences destroyed my confidence as well as my mental and physical health. I learned a lot, but I often wish the lessons would have been easier.

18. Angela MasonMay 29,2024 at 1:23PM UTC

    In 2018, my supervisor submitted paperwork to HR that denied my step increase. I was also "suspended" in 2019, while working under this horrific human. Since then, I relocated and accepted two promotions.

    I did not discover the pay disparity until February 2024. HR now has to retroactively pay me.

    As far as the suspension is concerned, it never happened and those weeks will be paid as well.

    I cannot wish anything bad on that human, but I have always slept well knowing that the battle was never mine to fight.

    What I learned is that integrity and tenacity are paramount in the workplace. There are people who take shortcuts, those who are emotionally immature, and others who are outright lazy.

    Stick to your principles and document EVERYTHING!

19. Dr. Erica WallsMay 29,2024 at 4:16PM UTC

    Yessssss!! Integrity wins the marathon, every time!

20. AnonymousMay 29,2024 at 7:23PM UTC

    Having a bad boss is more than just unpleasant, it can destroy your career and mental health among other things Hard to search for other opportunities when you are trying to survive and hang onto your job if you can't just quit.

21. Titra HamiltonMay 29,2024 at 8:05PM UTC

    I learned that, too often, the only true team player in the room is me. As a result, I am focused on meeting my professional goals; no one else's.