What to do as I was passed over for a promotion this cycle after maternity leave.

11 Comments

1. AnonymousApril 15,2023 at 5:08PM UTC

   Not a thing you can do.
   You mentoring the candidate doesn't have anything to do with you not getting promoted. You boss didn't make the case for your promotion. He wanted to see a full year of achievement and in his eyes you missed the mark

   I would request clear goals for earning a promotion next year.

2. Dcre1977April 17,2023 at 2:47PM UTC

   Mentoring a candidate shows leadership skills, in fact people should not be promoted to leadership.if they are not able to mentor others.

3. AnonymousApril 16,2023 at 12:36PM UTC

   Not much you can do. Proximity bias is alive and well (as well as others).

   If it were me, I would be considering looking for another role - either within the company or elsewhere. But that is just me - I’d have a very hard time continuing to be a mentor to this person.

   Just to give yourself an idea on the why here…does there appear to be a concern that you’ll be having more children? In other words, is the person that got the position male or female? Family status, age? Etc. Not that I’m thinking there is much you can do, but it is good to know for whom you are working, and if there is a bias, or even a feeling of “she’ll have her hands full and won’t want a promotion.” All these factors come into play, and you may want to look for an organization that is a bit more aware of their bias.

4. Jennifer CarterApril 17,2023 at 12:27PM UTC

   Maybe congratulate the person who got the promotion and love on your baby. You were out half the year, that’s a benefit, it does not entitle you to a promotion, and no offense, but someone was covering you that entire time, as we all have for coworkers on maternity leave. Meaning they were doing the role of two people, because they still have to complete their work. Sounds like you are exceeding expectations now that you are back, keep it up and next cycle try again.

5. AnonymousApril 17,2023 at 12:49PM UTC

   No.

6. Sam hammackApril 17,2023 at 1:54PM UTC

   The time you were on leave should have never been considered in your review. Whether you received a promotion or not is not the issue in this case.

7. AnonymousApril 17,2023 at 12:51PM UTC

   Sounds like discrimination if you can prove you were passed over only because of your maternity leave. Check out @themamattorney on Instagram, she's posted about cases like this in the past and may have advice.

8. Sam hammackApril 17,2023 at 1:53PM UTC

   If you have a Human Resources department they need to be made aware. Your manager may not understand this is discrimination and you are covered under the pregnancy act. If you do not have HR you may want to seek out an attorney who specializes in employment law.

9. Mary PoolApril 17,2023 at 2:16PM UTC

   Just became someone has less experience in a role does not mean they are not better suited for the promotion. You mentored them well; you should take pride in this! I have had many people I mentored receive promotions above me, and I am always so proud of them and myself for excelling in mentoring them.

   Unfortunately, not all jobs are meant for all people. Experience is only one factor in considering who gets promoted. If you want to fight this (and I think that would be a mistake), you need to do better than “I have one more year of experience.” If you genuinely believe you deserve this promotion, you need to lead with your skills, talents, and unique characteristics that make you a better choice, not an equal choice, but a better option.

10. Jamie Martin, ACCApril 17,2023 at 2:40PM UTC

    It sounds like you don't know why you didn't get the promotion. That's the place to start. Before we can learn that though, you'll need to do some work to let go of any resentment towards the person who received the promotion and your boss. Released from the resentment, have a conversation with your boss about what you are missing right now to be promoted. You want to come into this conversation from a place of openness and curiosity, so you can actually hear what your boss has to say. They should have a clear answer and guide you on skills or tools or behavior changes that you need to develop in order to make the move. Be open to the feedback.

    You'll also want to spend some time paying attention to the person you mentored. Why? To see how they have grown, that you might be blinded by. Did they get experience while you were out on leave that gave them more of an edge? Lean into seeing how you can learn from them. Even as a mentor, we can learn from the person we are mentoring. Celebrate their achievement and use it as a place to reflect and grow yourself.

    If in the end, it is clear that there is no distinction on why you did not receive the promotion - other than you were on mat leave. Go to HR to see if they can help you get the clarity. The key here is that HR is the place for you to dig for more clarity and not to point to discrimination yet. If after they try to support you in this side of things, you land on nothing other than discrimination, let them know and get a lawyer.

    You are better off assuming that there is a valid reason until you have valid data pointing the other direction. Why? Because if you assume discrimination now, your resentment for your company and boss will grow. You will feel the toxicity even if there isn't any reason for it and you will be miserable. And I'm making a HUGE assumption, but it seems like you enjoy your work there. And this is the first time you have felt like this.

    If you want to dive into this more, happy to talk through this more. Feel free to schedule time at https://jmartindiscoverycall.co/ - put in the note that you are from FairyGodBoss and want to talk about the promotion.

11. AnonymousApril 23,2023 at 10:19AM UTC

    Thank you for all of the comments and great feedback. I am very excited for my coworker to receive her promo. She is awesome and I love working with her.

    I tried to ask clarifying questions to my manager. The promo decision was not up to my manager, but up to our director. Even though my technical skills are greater and even though I completed the majority of the projects we worked on together, per my manager. The reason the director chose the other candidate was that I do not have as high visibility on projects than her. So working to increase my visibility on projects/documentation is something I plan to work on.

    In terms of my actual performance review... I posted a separate question on FGB, and I'll post here in the comments as well. I followed up with my manager on my performance review and this is what happened:

    My manager gave me a met expectations performance review for the year because for the first half of the year (while I was on maternity leave) I met expectations.. but as soon as I came back I exceeded expectations. He said since there is no in-between meet and exceeded, I got a met expectations.

    When I reminded him I was on maternity for the first half of the year, he said he forgot. And then he also said he knows he might not be right saying this but "if two people are performing at the same level and one goes out on leave, the one that doesn't go out on leave gets the promo because they were performing for longer.' He said that has happened to him as well and it sucks but that is the reality. I like my manager in every other aspect, he has helped me grow my technical skills a lot, I do not want to burn bridges, but does my performance review seem OK? I told a staff level woman about this and she said to ask HR in a non confrontational way about what is the policy on maternity leave effecting performance review.

    Thanks