I am desperately trying to hold on to my hybrid job but my supervisor is now telling me that I need to report to the office each day.

69 Comments

1. AnonymousApril 10,2024 at 5:41PM UTC

   Go to your HR department and request FMLA. Then get a note from your doctor. This will help protect your need to work remote and your job. But if the employer requires you to be in the office 5 days a week, you will need to be there unless you can get this form and a doctor's note asap. It may also not come into play for weeks so ask you HR advisor what the timeframe/turnaround time is. Good luck!

2. Ann Snider LealeApril 10,2024 at 10:02PM UTC

   Thank you --- FMLA is unpaid, correct?

3. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 7:22PM UTC

   Yes, it's unpaid.

4. BarbaraApril 10,2024 at 6:13PM UTC

   Definitely gone HR doctor note route. You are a protected senior as well.

5. Michelle Holt MesserApril 11,2024 at 11:35AM UTC

   Can you elaborate on protected senior? I’ve never heard of this before and I’m approaching senior age.

6. AnonymousApril 10,2024 at 6:53PM UTC

   You can try. But companies are not under any obligation to accommodate folks as much as you read that they must. So yes, definitely get your doctor to write his recommendation and see where it goes.

7. AnonymousApril 10,2024 at 8:04PM UTC

   I would start looking for another position, maybe remote. Your employer is changing the terms of your job. I'd rethink getting a doctor's note, it could backfire in terms of your workload. Before resigning, I would ask the reason for the insistence of returning to in person full time. If it's just "face time" for the sake of it, you're better off knowing that. Be prepared to explain why you're looking in a way that doesn't eliminate you from consideration.

8. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 7:21PM UTC

   There is no one sane on this planet who will hear that someone's company changed their hybrid expectations to onsite and now expects them to commute 3 hours a day or 15-16 hours a week or 60+ hours a month who will hear that fact combined with "I'm seeking a role that eliminates/reduces that commute" and think negatively of the OP for saying it.

   That's more than one intense work week in traffic per month, just for commuting.

9. AnonymousApril 10,2024 at 9:02PM UTC

   Over the past few years , hundreds of thousands of workers have been called back into office and not many have been successful in convincing their employers that they are an exception.

   So yes please ask because it's up to the employer and some are more agreeable than others.

   If you were hybrid before the pandemic that will go far in keeping you in that "exception " category.

10. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 1:32AM UTC

    I agree.
    Although you might have a legitimate case to stay home, if they let you, they have to allow everyone.

    I'd be careful protesting because they might just let you be unemployed at home

11. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 12:39PM UTC

    ”If they let you, they have to allow everyone.”

    This is simply not true. ADA accommodations are individual and must be granted once the individual makes their wishes for such accommodation known to the company. The individual must ask for an accommodation specifically and it can apply only to them.

    per EEOC guidelines:

    ”Granting an employee time or or AN ADJUSTED WORK SCHEDULE may involve modifying attendance procedures or policies. However reasonable accommodation only requires that the employer modify the policy for the employee with a disability. The employer may continue to apply the policy to all other employees.”

    Best of luck to you!

12. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 11:44AM UTC

    Accommodations are up to the company. If you were hired in as hybrid, IMO you have an argument, if this is not the case, you should realize that your company has every right to bring back into the office without recourse or pushback. It was a gift.

13. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 7:17PM UTC

    Remote is not a gift. RTO is insanity!

14. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 8:38PM UTC

    I would suggest finding a role that best fits for you and others. If it's not what the company is asking then go elsewhere, it is their call. They will find someone else to do the job and not bow to privileged mindsets.

15. Barbara BurkeApril 12,2024 at 1:14PM UTC

    Privileged mindset? Rude

16. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 3:32PM UTC

    I think they're response is real, and sometimes people need to self assess.

17. AnonymousApril 16,2024 at 9:27PM UTC

    Tell us what the privileged mindset is, seriously! If this poster has been on the job 3 years she was likely remote when she started. Many companies that hired remote and told people they could stay remote permanently went back on that agreement!

    There is literally nothing to self-assess in expecting companies to not do a 180 on people.

    I can't fix your outdated mindset that the company must always be right.

18. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 12:25PM UTC

    Given your health challenges, your hybrid status may be considered reasonable accommodations and therefore under Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) protection. Strongly suggest you reach out to your physician and find an ADA advocate to help you frame your request. Good luck!

19. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 12:43PM UTC

    Is retirement not an option? I’d tell them you’d have to quit as the commute would be too much. Are they willing to lose you? Or is that the point, to make you quit?

20. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 1:27PM UTC

    I don't understand people suggesting retirement. Do they think money grows on trees? Seriously.

21. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 3:31PM UTC

    I don't believe anyone on here has said to go check your money tree, we all prepare differently for retirement in many ways, it's a suggestion they're providing, you reached out please don't start judging responses as if they know your complete suggestion - this is for the posted and fyi for any responders.

22. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 12:52PM UTC

    Given what you have described, it would be worth it to try and get an accommodation. Is the return to office mandate company wide or just with your supervisor?

23. Ann Snider LealeApril 11,2024 at 6:27PM UTC

    It's just my NEW ED in my specific branches. She is very technologically challenged and needs lots of people present to do her work for her. Many staff have already gone to HR about the ED and she is still with us, unfortunately.

24. AnonymousApril 16,2024 at 9:24PM UTC

    Is there another branch you could transfer to?

    It's good that multiple people have gone to HR about the boss; it's clearly NOT a you problem!

25. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 12:57PM UTC

    I’m not going to lie. Even if you succeeded, you would be poisoning the well.

    Most people would agree that in 90 minute commute is not reasonable. Therefore, you should move closer to your office if you want to keep this job. I know it’s not an easy answer but people move for work all the time.

    Another option would be renting a small apartment closer to your job.

    Good luck, if the terms of the job have changed since you were hired then it’s a tough situation. But it’s one that people face all the time with company relocations as well as personal relocations. Either look for a new job or figure out how to get closer to your office.

26. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 6:38PM UTC

    Moving closer doesn’t pencil out financially for most, especially if she owns a home that is paid for or with a low interest rate mortgage. Having both a rent and mortgage payment is nuts. The fact that she is still working at her age and with disability makes me think she isn’t in a position financially to retire.

    A new job likely going to be a better option but tough when you are older to find one.

    Original poster should fight to keep existing job.

27. Barbara BurkeApril 12,2024 at 1:12PM UTC

    Totally clueless answer. What type of job do you imagine she has that she can just up and move or rent an apartment in addition to her home? I think if she could afford either of those things she could afford to retire. And as far as getting a new job, it’s very difficult for people her age who aren’t asking for accommodations to find jobs.

    She should speak to her doctor about a request for accommodation and submit it directly to HR. As far as poisoning the well, once accommodation is approved, she should carefully document all interactions; retaliation for requesting accommodation is a serious offense.

28. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 1:03PM UTC

    All you can do is try and see if it's approved. Good luck.

29. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 1:10PM UTC

    If hybrid was a temporary agreement you are better off showing proven benefits for the company from this arrangement.

30. Dianna DeeleyApril 11,2024 at 1:28PM UTC

    As I understand it, a letter from your doctor should get your supervisor to make reasonable accommodations for your health, it's the law under the ADA - and in any case, having three hour commutes every day is going to degrade your performance, so your supervisor is not using his or her head for much besides a place to grow hair.

31. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 1:42PM UTC

    I am sorry to say this, but I don’t think a doctors letter will help. I think they’re trying to force your retirement. They already know how old you are, how long your commute is and I’m sure someone knows of the health conditions that you have. Nonetheless, in spite of all of that, they still want to eliminate this option from you. I would seriously consider finding another job at this point.

32. AnonymousApril 13,2024 at 2:44PM UTC

    A letter from a physician is exactly what she needs. It’s the law. She’s entitled to reasonable accommodation for her disability. Disabled people don’t just have to find another job. Also that’s really tough thing to just do at any age, let alone 65.

33. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 2:04PM UTC

    I’m sorry but there is a lot of bad advice here from people who know nothing about HR, the law, or accommodations. Yes, if you qualify under ADA for a disability accommodation (and it sounds like you do), you can make that request. You should speak with your HR department as they may have a form to request the accommodation and should be able to tell you what you need to provide from your physician. From there, it is up to the company to decide if they want to approve it. If they do not, they have to be able to show it’s based on business necessity. If they cannot show that, then you could contact the EEOC based on disability discrimination. Even if they approve your request, they could still take it personally and make things difficult for you, but honestly if the commute is already difficult that may be a risk worth taking. Either way, I would recommend speaking to HR about the steps you need to take to request this accommodation. Additionally, the person who said if they give it to you, they have to give it to everyone. That is false. Yours would be based on a disability. Unless everyone in the company also has a documented disability, they would not have to give it to everyone.

34. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 8:44PM UTC

    Well said and correct. Plus you do not have to disclose your conditions. I do not recommend you go and quit your job or retire. You do not sound miserable in the job, but the thought of commuting sounds painful to you. I hope this works out for you and please keep us posted. Sending positive vibes this helps you!

35. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 2:04PM UTC

    This is perfect, sound advice.

    Definitely go to HR first and formalize the process. They will also know how to handle the matter. If you just speak to your supervisor, they (more than likely) are not knowledgeable in how to properly handle these requests.

    I like this response also because it pointed out the employer will have decide if they are able to accommodate or if it would be an undue hardship.

    Importantly - as pointed out - this is based on YOUR disability - so the company is not setting precedence or needing to apply hybrid to everyone. They would be properly accommodating your situation.

    Given you have demonstrated competence in your role for the last 3 years and are willing to be in the office part of the time, I would think your accommodation is reasonable. Be sure your doctor is specific on listing reasons why they recommend you work hybrid vs a generic note of "I recommend they work hybrid".

36. AnonymousApril 13,2024 at 2:41PM UTC

    Yes!!! There is definitely a lot of really bad advice on here. I hope your good advice finds its way through the chatter. And I hope more people learn about the facts of ADA not just their feelings.

37. Balanced372207April 14,2024 at 12:35PM UTC

    Speak to an employee rights attorney before speaking to HR to get accurate direction. That is what I did when I needed FMLA, and am glad I did. HR works for the company. You need someone working on your behalf.

38. Maggie StoneApril 11,2024 at 2:17PM UTC

    Have you spoken to your employer as frankly as you have here? Are they aware of your health issues? Your commute? Are you able to retire? I would probably speak to them first and see if they will work with you.

39. Kimberly McApril 11,2024 at 4:07PM UTC

    I would at least try to get the accommodation. They could turn you down, but you’ll be no worse off than you are now. Dont tell yourself no - make them tell you.

40. Denise WeglowskiApril 11,2024 at 4:19PM UTC

    Contact the EEOC

41. Focused721350April 11,2024 at 4:34PM UTC

    Good Morning,

    I totally understand where your coming from. But! Like my Dr. use to say. NO JOB IS WORTH YOUR HEALTH!

    Btw! I'm only a couple yrs younger. I would suggest maybe you should consider Retirement? That way before things could get worse, you can enjoy your life! I also have a similar medical problems and PTSD. I took my Drs. advise and I couldn't be happier. I decided to start my own business. I worked very hard and for the past yrs. I own my Small Pet Nanny Service and it's so rewarding. Not only Mentally, But! Physically. I'm not telling you to quit. But! You have so many options.

    Good Luck & God Bless,

    Ms. T ;)

42. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 6:14PM UTC

    Thanks, but retirement is not an option.

43. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 1:26PM UTC

    It's also kind of an elitist, ableist suggestion.

44. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 7:15PM UTC

    Health insurance through the marketplace is really expensive for people just a little too young for medicare.

45. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 4:40PM UTC

    You could. I would be sure that your doctor is very specific as to your limitations and that being in the stress of the commute is likely to exacerbate your symptoms.

46. Ladyboss549724April 11,2024 at 6:05PM UTC

    Yes, under ADA you could seek an accomodation. Recommend connecting with your doctor first that this is appropriate and also to see what other accomodations they may recommend.

47. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 7:14PM UTC

    Allowing remote is literally the only mitigation for the issue of a commute. You're sitting in transit no matter who's driving.

48. Ladyboss549724April 14,2024 at 5:10PM UTC

    Sorry, meant other accomodations outside of hybrid like providing or modifying equipment or devices, or part-time or modified work schedules.

49. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 6:28PM UTC

    It's because of our new ED. And "yes" she is allowing someone else to work remotely and not come into the office.

50. AnonymousApril 11,2024 at 8:41PM UTC

    Also, due to HIPPA make sure your HR sees your paperwork not your boss. Plus your doctor should not put the medical reasons in their letter as it does not have to be shared. Thank you though for sharing your conditions. That's very brave of you and though you may be open, remember, protect yourself. HR will inform your boss but at some point, you can let your boss know, I'm sorry I can't share all of my conditions but do know I'm committed and honored to work here. The commute is too difficult for me on a daily basis. Enough said. And best of luck to you!

51. BarbaraApril 11,2024 at 9:07PM UTC

    Excellent advice!

52. Angie EluezeApril 12,2024 at 1:33AM UTC

    Hi, first if you were overweight and had diabetes that’s okay too and none of our business. But I would agree with everyone else submit that paperwork to HR and not your manager. I would also ask for 100% remote maybe during the winter / colder months but that’s just me, lol! Good luck!

53. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 1:13PM UTC

    They don't have to accommodate. The rule is they have to provide "reasonable" accommodations, and the company gets to define what "reasonable" means. My husband and I have been let go because the companies didn't consider the accommodations reasonable. My hubby wanted a tall stool to sit on since he couldn't stand for long periods due to a leg and hip injury plus sciatica (with appropriate documentation from an orthopedic surgeon and neurologist), and it was "unreasonable" because if they let him sit on a stool they would have to let everyone else as well. For me, I needed an accommodation for PTSD to help keep me from getting panic attacks when I was cornered or in large crowds and they pushed back at every seating suggestion I made.

54. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 7:14PM UTC

    The company does define what is reasonable but if they deny you, they better be able to defend it in court because the burden of proof would be on them to show why it’s unreasonable if you were to file a discrimination claim with the EEOC. And no, they would not have to allow everyone the same accommodations. The whole purpose of accommodation is something outside the norm due to disability.

55. AnonymousApril 14,2024 at 6:05PM UTC

    The cost, exceptions, and proof required were not worth what we would endure to go through the process. As I said, "reasonable" is defined by the employer, and staying on one's feet was considered a job requirement (although, I'm not sure why, because it certainly wasn't a safety issue.) Taking our chances and paying an attorney wasn't worth the time, headaches, or money, even if we could have afforded it. For my issue, there wasn't any proof in writing, and getting that would have made me someone who was "always complaining about something."

56. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 1:21PM UTC

    Unless you have in your job offer, or in writing afterwards, that your "hybrid job" is permanent you have 2 choices... either do the commute, which you knew what it would be when you took the job, or quit.

    3 years isn't a long time in a job. Good luck with playing the "I need accommodation!" card. Even if you do get your "accommodation," which will be a lengthy process via the state, you'll definitely not be in the boss's, and their bosses, good book, which isn't a place you want to be.

57. AnonymousApril 13,2024 at 3:23PM UTC

    As one who is newly diagnosed with RA, I will say that this disease is not predictable, and symptoms are often worse in the morning. Driving causes a strain on the hands, which can make it more challenging to type and use a computer mouse.

    Any employer who treats accommodations laws as a burden and not a kind protection is problematic. Let's fight for those with disabilities and not simply accept that poor treatment is the norm,

58. Cindy HargettApril 15,2024 at 3:21AM UTC

    ADA Reasonable Accommodation is a Federal law and the Dept of Labor holds responsibility for the program.

    The laws kick in when an employer has one or more employees. The employee applies by completing their portion of an application provided by the company and having a trearting doctor complete their portion. If this is no form, the employee and doctor should write letters explaining the condition and how it affects their working conditions. They should also clearly state what the employee needs the employer to do to accommodate their condition. The employee submits them to their employer, who reviews and approves or denies the accommodation. If the employee is denied they can file a claim with EEOC and compel the employer to prove how granting the request creates a serious hardship for the employer. The EEOC then rules in favor of the employee or the employer. Either way, the employer can't retaliate against the employee for making or appealing a claim.

59. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 1:43PM UTC

    Offer to come in either mornings or afternoons so part of your commute in during work time.

    Also, as someone who worked into her 70s, the less you say about age or illness the better. You want to be seen as someone vibrant and engaged, but that’s my opinion.

60. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 2:51PM UTC

    Not completely accurate. Employer gets to determine accommodations not the employee. And it REASONABLE accommodation

    You are correct however that conversations need to be initiated with HR and no the manager.

61. AnonymousApril 16,2024 at 9:16PM UTC

    If the job CAN be done remotely, remote is reasonable. Period.

62. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 3:08PM UTC

    I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Its not clear what you do in a hybrid role but is there anyone else hiring for a similar role? Maybe something that is 100% remote with similar pay? Sometimes those that are not committed to you don't deserve your commitment. I know the market is not great right now but maybe the best option is to try and move on. Also, if your medical conditions are that serious, you may want to consider disability since you have a doctors letter. Choices are hard but for our mental health and security, there are times when we must chose. Good luck.

63. Balanced372207April 14,2024 at 12:28PM UTC

    A person who is age 62 or older cannot receive Social Security disability payments.

64. AnonymousApril 12,2024 at 4:27PM UTC

    Had a similar issue. My employer went off my doctor note and made the accomodations . As long as your medical request is within reason you should at least give it a try.

65. AnonymousApril 13,2024 at 1:58PM UTC

    They will probably ask you to retire

66. AnonymousApril 13,2024 at 2:36PM UTC

    Sorry to hear you’re having to deal with all the health issues as well as such a big change to your job.

    Let’s get two things very clear.

    1. Asking for(and receiving) reasonable accommodations is your right under the law not some perk they can decide to provide.
    2. Your age & disability status are protected classes and asking you to retire due to age or disability is unlawful.

    You have different options based on the circumstances surrounding your hybrid schedule. If you were hired into a hybrid role your supervisor alone cannot decide you need to come in every day. The job description, requirements and structure & nature of the role are determined by the company and HR. The amount of in office time should be part of the information about your role. Unless the company wants to make a change to that role it’s not just a request to be made by one individual. That being said, if the role is designated as full time in office and the supervisor granted the hybrid option you may have less flexibility if the requirement has changed. That doesn’t mean you’re completely helpless. You can ask for a formal review of the role and ask to have them justify changing the role from hybrid to full time in office.

    If you require reasonable accommodations to manage your disability (rheumatoid arthritis) you should absolutely requests those. If that means you need to spend less hours driving every day, then get your doctor to document your condition and the things that help it and the things that exacerbate it. Since your accommodation is basically already in place (the hybrid work) it will be quite difficult for them to suggest they cannot make the accommodation for you. As long as the requests allows you to do the basic functions of your job without disrupting the business, it’s considered reasonable. You cannot be terminated or asked to retire do to asking for accommodations. Since your health is a priority I would start with this route and not concern myself with why the supervisor is now asking you to RTO.

    Best of luck to you.

67. AnonymousApril 14,2024 at 9:59AM UTC

    A letter from your doctor may help. If it is company policy to have "work from office", they will enforce it across the board. You will need a doctor's note, if they allow exceptions.

68. AnonymousApril 16,2024 at 9:20PM UTC

    Both type 1 and type 2 are often genetic. This ASSumption people make about diabetes being caused by poor nutrition/being overweight drives me crazy as the sister of a type 1 diabetic with many type 2 diabetics in the extended family.

    Type 1 (for those of you in the audience) is an autoimmune disease caused by the immune system attacking the insulin-producing cells in the pancreas. My sibling was a thin, active kid when diagnosed, as are others I know!

69. LolyMay 29,2025 at 3:25PM UTC
    A 3-hour daily commute is tough, especially with health issues like Rheumatoid Arthritis and Diabetes. Having a doctor’s letter definitely supports requesting accommodation—such as working remote 3 days a week and office 2 days—which many employers consider. Also, for managing diabetes, I found to Get Mounjaro Online at canadadrugsdirect easy and reliable, so that might help you too.