Why is the discussion about salary considered awkward during the interview process?

22 Comments

1. Janet GrangerNovember 18,2021 at 5:36PM UTC

   For me, because I was brought up that "nice people don't talk about money." Salaries were a taboo subject. It's hard to break that training - we absorb all those messages about money when we're young and they form our value system and our framework for life. Talking about salary means about breaking through that - so it's hard to do.

2. Kristie WhiteNovember 19,2021 at 7:54PM UTC

   Women have been conditioned to think that talking about money is rude, greedy, or self-absorbed. That is unfortunate because we don't become educated and comfortable with the subject. And you better believe that every man around is talking about money with friends, colleagues, and co-workers. This allows men to share stories and learn from one another while women stay dependent on information that "relayed" through others. IMO, women's refrain from financial discussions stops them from steering their own financial ship. I have encountered dozens of women who are thrown into dire circumstances when the "man" in their lives stops doing the steering. We need to take ownership of our power to steer for ourselves so we have that knowledge to make strong decisions and protect our future and the future of those we care for.

3. AnonymousNovember 18,2021 at 5:53PM UTC

   It's not about getting paid ....it's all about how much. That's the game they call negotiating

4. Mikal Ann ByrdNovember 19,2021 at 4:34PM UTC

   True, but when a job description asks for a senior manager with 10 years of experience but can only pay $75K that should be information provided upfront. Baselines are established for cars, real estate, etc. why not for jobs?

5. Kristie WhiteNovember 19,2021 at 7:49PM UTC

   I agree it seems logical for baselines to be established for a position. But the baselines will be different based on variables like company size, structure, location, scope of management, etc. And that is also true of cars, real estate, and other goods. So one size won't fit all. That senior manager would probably get $125k if working for a large chemical organization like Bayer. But they are going to make $75k if they are working in healthcare. That's due to the variable of industry.

6. AnonymousNovember 18,2021 at 6:16PM UTC

   I always ask in the first interview, but it would be ideal to have it in the job description!

7. Mikal Ann ByrdNovember 19,2021 at 4:30PM UTC

   I agree! I asked in the first interview but was told it would be addressed if I got a second interview. I was so appreciative when another interviewer brought it up early in the first interview. They agreed that what I was asking was reasonable but they could not pay that much. It affirmed what I think I'm worth and allowed them to move onto a candidate within their range.

8. Kristie WhiteNovember 18,2021 at 7:14PM UTC

   In business, there is a rule of thumb that the first one to mention money in a negotiation sets the stage. In other words, the range of compensation or price for the negotiation. In the past, it was legal for employers to have a policy that prohibits discussion of salary between workers. This was a way of controlling the information and ensuring that co-workers wouldn't know about inequities within the pay structures. There are lots of reason two similar jobs might pay differently within a range - talent, market price, or strong negotiating skills are a few.
   As time has moved on, employers don't have as much support in trying to keep salaries private. But it is still a business practice. Your recruiter is trying to make you name your price, then they can negotiate from there. If you name a low price when the ER would pay more, then you have allowed them to purchase your services for less. If your price is above market, then you price yourself out of the position. If you have to go first, do your research, give them a range, and then negotiate from a position of knowing what you bring to the position. But position yourself reasonably in the range with defensible justification, and don't forget the market is hot for new employees. That's in your favor.

9. Mikal Ann ByrdNovember 19,2021 at 4:39PM UTC

   Great response!

   Knowing the range is the issue. I am aware for example that an oil company is going to pay more than a non-profit but it'd be nice to know before applying if the salary offered is even in the same magnitude of what I need.

10. AnonymousNovember 18,2021 at 7:15PM UTC

    The dance of $ and how much is acceptable

11. Tomilyn RichardsNovember 18,2021 at 8:46PM UTC

    TALK ABOUT MONEY!! =) We all work to get paid it is no secret. I love the conversation of money because it helps the matching process. We aren't there yet as a society to have $$ on all the job descriptions... but I don't know that that would really solve the negotiation process either. Be open about what you want, companies should be open about the range! Everyone has a budget and it is all about making it fit on both sides.

12. AnonymousNovember 19,2021 at 12:25AM UTC

    Well as women we are told to negotiate, and then we wonder if we are asking for too much? Leaving too much on the table? And then we risk losing the offer altogether if we ask for too much $.

13. Annette ReimerNovember 19,2021 at 3:15PM UTC

    I believe the awkwardness comes from the historic secrecy of how much everyone in a company or position gets paid. Years ago, I found out my coworkers got paid more than I did because they negotiated better. It was a good learning experience and taught me to look after myself and ask for a salary that I know I am worth, and also what research shows is an industry standard rate for the position. Always do your homework to find out what the average pay is on websites like glassdoor.

14. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistNovember 19,2021 at 7:48PM UTC

    Don't rely on Glassdoor for comp info when doing research - there are other sites more data driven. Try Payscale and Salary - both use data provided by employers.

    Here's an article by the awesome Kristen Fife -everyone interested in salary negotiations or in a job search should follow her on LinkedIN:

    Let’s Talk Offers, Salary Negotiation, and Compensation
    https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/lets-talk-offers-salary-negotiation-compensation-fife-she-her-hers-/

15. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistNovember 19,2021 at 7:48PM UTC

    I'm not sure. I speak with my candidates about compensation on every first call.

16. Liz MilneNovember 24,2021 at 8:00AM UTC

    Hmm. Some people think that mentioning money is a low class thing to do, while others use that belief as an excuse to not mention salary and lowball it!

    I always confirm the salary, and if it's lower than I was led to believe, I shake my head and say, 'That won't work for me.' It's worked two out of the three times, and the third time I was happy not to be offered the job: they were rude and patronising in the interview, second-guessing everything I said, and talking over me, immediately after asking a question.

17. Amanda BurtNovember 30,2021 at 4:59PM UTC

    As one man told me, men always get paid more because we demand more, we don't 'ask'.

18. Liz MilneNovember 30,2021 at 9:33PM UTC

    Sadly, it's often perceived that way simply because women should be meek and accepting, while men are expected to be assertive and 'strong'. It's like, boys are 'natural leaders', girls are 'a bit bossy' when they display identical behaviours. I do hope you called him out on it?

19. Amanda BurtNovember 30,2021 at 10:33PM UTC

    It was an interesting conversation at happy hour. It makes sense. When a women discusses money at work she is labeled a hard a$$, a man is just considered normal.

20. KristenDecember 16,2021 at 2:12PM UTC

    In my opinion, it's only awkward if the candidate isn't prepared for the question (e.g., has done their research, knows the market value, poses their range ask in an appropriate way, and asks the appropriate questions about the organization's budget.)

    That said, again in my opinion, the first interview is not the appropriate time for the candidate to ask about pay (unless it's with a 3rd party recruiter.) The hiring party should raise it. If it hasn't come up by the 2nd interview, then by all means ask the question so that no one's time is further wasted.

21. Mikal Ann ByrdDecember 16,2021 at 7:45PM UTC

    This is my question: Why isn't it appropriate? It is a waste of everyone's time if the salary expectations of both parties are not within the same magnitude.

22. AnonymousDecember 16,2021 at 3:24PM UTC

    I don't know but I continue to hate it. For the longest time, I never realized this or other parts of a job offer were negotiable. It wasn't until I actually got into HR and saw this in practice. And I think this is true for a lot of women...they don't realize they can negotiate.