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I Think I'm Getting Set Up but I was the Victim

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I Think I'm Getting Set Up but I was the Victim

Been at my current company for a year and a half and have experienced microaggressions, and unfair treatment. Even colleagues would approach me say wow they talk to you like that in meetings?

I was in a meeting I was leading , I was called dismissive in a very toxic way. I reported to my manager and skip manager who were also present at that meeting to say that's not cool and their response was that that guy was stressed and I should make changes to my meeting structure so that there is no confusion about my status updates so that interaction doesn't happen again. Please note I started and have been running this meeting for about 8 months with great feedback from different levels.

Someone who attended the meeting reported that interaction to HR. ( I do not know who) but it was nice someone was on my side. After a series of emails and meetings with HR and managers.....my managers created a development plan for me! I'm flabbergasted! I was the one offended, and embarrassed in front of colleagues. The VP gave me a small bonus in addition to our merit increase for my contributions to the company earlier this year so I know I'm doing something right.

I guess i just wanted to vent. My sister says it's about them trying to cover their a** versus saying I am not a good performer but I'm pissed, hurt. I just left a toxic environment (like settling a discrimination claim with company)

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  1. Anonymous

    Often they will give feedback to both involved in the “incident” to balance out the feedback. Try not to take it personally. Take the development plan very seriously, document any and all progress to your management. You don’t know what is happening with the other person and what the communication with them is, so stay professional and positive with them. It sounds like you have a lot of people on your side and you are doing a lot right so try to take this as an opportunity to improve. Good luck!

  2. Anonymous

    This. They likely put both of you on a development plan. Follow it to the letter and document everything. Take a sick day to reward yourself for being the bigger person.

  3. Anonymous

    Thank you so much

  4. Anonymous

    Sorry you had to experience that. Just know that HR is NOT on the employees side. HR is there to keep the company out of legal trouble. And they will side with a VP over an employee unless that person is doing something very criminal but even so, if they can prevent it from getting out they still won't do anything. I once busted a LAWYER breaking the law. That's all I will say about that. It was reported and they were not going to do anything! Literally turned their head even though they were presented with hard evidence! They only took action when they were forced because they didn't want it to get out. I'm sure that person is working somewhere doing the same thing! HR is not for the people. When things go left, I always take the stance to move on because SUCCESS is the best revenge. Only lawyers tend to be the big winners in lawsuits and I would only go that route under extreme circumstances because usually companies will just pay you to go away. It's a small world and that 6 degree of separation thing is real especially the higher up you get in an industry. Suing should be the last result because it can get you blackballed. I was told early in my career to only sue when absolutely necessary and as part of an exit strategy when you no longer need to work in that industry because if it's publicized even if you are justified in your suit other companies will not hire you because if you will sue one you will sue another and they see you as a risk. It's unfair but this is how corporate works. The person put it to me like this, if someone came to visit you at your home and fell down and broke their leg even if it was their own fault but still sued you and won and all your friends knew, how likely would they allow that person to come over to their house? Think about it. And what's so funny is that I actually knew a person who was always threatening to sue others or talking about suing others over any little thing. That person was never invited into anyone's personal space. We live in a toxic world. Stay safe out there. And I still think SUCCESS is the best revenge. Karma will balance the scales. It always does.

  5. Anonymous

    Thank you, this is helpful. Thank you for reading my post and commenting so thoughtfully. If i knew you I would hug you.

  6. Anonymous

    No one filed a complaint as far as I know.

  7. Anonymous

    It depends on the company, but I have gone to an HR representative and if I don’t feel comfortable with what they say then I will look at the company structure and find a person over them because everyone has someone there’s over them and I have had to do that and I got my issue resolved. I have done it on several occasions because like someone said on this post adults seem to act like they’re in elementary school a lot these days and that does not belong in the workplace. I know one thing that is true and that is you have to teach people how to treat you and that is at work and in your personal life but you can do that where there’s no argument, and stay professional, but know your rights . Setting boundaries is a must and that’s a tough thing to do but down the road you will get respect.

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