I am being bullied at work and it feels awful.

Anonymous

June 6,2022 at 12:27PM UTC

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I am being bullied at work and it feels awful. I work with a group of “mean girls” if you are not apart of their clique they exclude you from meetings speak rudely to you and gossip about you. They have been doing this about me for months. It has taken a toll on my mental health and I am unfortunately leaving the job. How do I reconcile with the hurt and anger I am feeling? And more importantly how do I not carry this baggage to my next job?

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Anita GetzJune 6,2022 at 12:37PM UTC
they are not worth your time and energy. You can rise above them. Do not even give them a second thought it’s not worth it. You can move past this and succeed. Best of luck
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 2:25PM UTC
If you have a good relationship with your manager, or someone in HR, maybe you could tell him/her about your colleagues unprofessional behavior and how it has lead to you leaving the company.
Those bullies will still be miserable when you leave, and they will stew in their own vileness.
You on the other hand are doing the adult thing by taking care of yourself and moving to a better situation. You will feel better when you are in a better work environment.
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 3:19PM UTC
You professionally make upper management know about this IN WRITING. That means not just HR but management.
You must explains with concrete incidents with dates and details....if you only have idle gossip and complain that they are just mean girls, skip it. It will just sounds silly.
Meanwhile, consider therapy if their behavior has destroyed your confidence and trigger deep insecurities as this might follow you for a very long time.
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 3:26PM UTC
I understand how you feel so much, not as far as bullying but about gossip and people not being genuine. I say when you interview for a job ask them about their culture and how they handle these situations. I’m in the same boat but also not trying to keep jumping from job to job. So I will definitely be asking things about that
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 3:27PM UTC
Ostracizing is harassment. If HR hears that word, they'll sit up and take notice. I had the same experience with a young woman whom I encouraged and supported to come work in my dept! I ended up leaving, which made a lot of people angry. I should have stuck it out, but I made the mistake of running. So yes, speak up.
AnonymousJune 6,2022 at 11:33PM UTC
I really empathize with your situation. I left a job two years ago because of a similar dynamic. I wish that I had taken more time off before starting my new role. I highly recommend therapy as well. I needed a lot of support to regain my mental health!
AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 1:25AM UTC
I'm in this same position right now. I have no idea how to deal with this and my mental health is slipping. I don't wish this on anyone. Best wishes and good luck. I'm rooting for you!
AnonymousJune 7,2022 at 1:46AM UTC
i'm kind of dealing with something similar and the manager is the most dismissive jerk I have ever met in my life, he gaslights every single time I bring up a concern. Look up "Evy Pompouras" on Youtube - this is not losing - you are WINNING your dignity as you CANNOT reach your potential working with snakes... And it's one thing if it didn't affect you outside work, but it does, now you cannot even work on your other ventures? Like heck no. Journal about what you hated and make a list of non negotiables.
JJJune 8,2022 at 4:19AM UTC
Quit.
Claire McCabeJune 8,2022 at 2:09PM UTC
I recommend therapy to heal from this extremely stressful situation - it's really, truly the best way to move forward and get your confidence back. Big hugs!
Mtrsprtautoltd@aol.comJune 10,2022 at 1:16AM UTC
Run! Find a different job as quickly as you can. Don’t worry about bringing the garbage with you because you won’t!
I was in your shoes a few years ago. Best thing I did was leave and leave them behind to stew in their misery. They’ll find someone else to pick on. They won’t change.
You could talk to HR and/or your manager, but that can backfire. Bring facts and no emotion if you do bring this to someone’s attention. Good luck!
AnonymousJune 11,2022 at 12:46PM UTC
There is a term called micro aggressive behaviors that describes your situation. HR people need to pay attention to this. Organizations wanting to hang on to good people should address this.