I'm not sure this fits here precisely, but it does relate to decisions of a future career woman.

28 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 12:46PM UTC

   It is scary, but the great part about decisions is that you can still change your mind. College can be a great place to discover what you want to do and a lot of schools don't require a major upfront, but if they do, you can still change your major or even transfer schools. A community college would allow her to start the process with less expense. Start with something that you know you like: whether it's a job at bookstore or a math class and see where it leads.

   You can also help show her the positives of change - what have you learned or liked. But also, you made 2 career changes in a short period and have had success (kudos!) - what a great example of how uncertainty is okay as long as you keep moving.

2. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 7:00PM UTC

   Well, I don't 'know if I'd consider my current career a success (yet). My current contract ends Thursday, and I don't have another to replace it with yet. I am strategizing to be able to offer more varied services to my clients to gain more of them.

3. Jacquelynn LucasJune 28,2022 at 1:35PM UTC

   Well honestly your story could be extremely helpful to her in my opinion. The world is uncertain, but resiliency and bouncing back when you get knocked down is what makes you successful. I went to school to be a marine biologist, and am now a toxicologist. Nothing works out the way you plan, that is the only 100% sure thing. Reassure her with your story of strength and resiliency and admit that it is scary at times. But overcoming that is what makes you successful.

4. ShakeelaJune 28,2022 at 2:05PM UTC

   Dear Friend, my son has suffered once with the little less scenario for a while, I immediately trained him for freelancing and make him CEO of his freelance ideas. He loves football, so ideas move around it. I stopped asking him for good grades because his happiness and smile are far more expensive than grades to me.

   Give your daughter something which she could lead and flourish. she will be the best job creator in the future.

   As she saw family suffering and she understands the pain of unemployment. She will be the best creator.

   Lots of love and hugs for her

5. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 6:57PM UTC

   Thank you. I love this idea.

6. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 2:22PM UTC

   I would encourage her to take a gap year to explore, job shadow, and volunteer, and work part time.

   While many colleges don't expect you to pick a major right away it is obviously costing someone money to be there. Some people decide college isn't for them and she may go a different path. She may also decide she wants a college degree and then can start. I am sure she is probably feeling pressure so she doesn't "fall behind" but there is no such thing as behind when it comes to college and career choices.

   It is better to make a decision that works for her if it takes time than to be rushed into a decision. I went into college without exploring other options and was a Special Education major for my first 4 years...I switched at the end of my 4th year because that was the first time I had true experience in it.....I had to spend extra money for a 5th year and still had no idea what I wanted to do.

   Another story, my mom went back to college when I was 10 and switched careers completely. She was successful in her first career but unhappy. She enjoys her job now even though she had to make a move.

7. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 2:32PM UTC

   This is very common. Right now she's in the in between stage and she needs to put in place some structure to help ground her. A plan that includes shopping for a college close to home (it doesn't sound like she's emotionally ready to live away from home), a plan for a job close to home. Nothing too stressful. I would start with temp work so she is not too committed and can try various fields in part time roles with flexibility to allow for school.

   Finally a budget, where she can save her money, plan for her lifestyle and gain some responsibility over your choices.

   If will take time and a plan she can execute step by step to build her confidence and sense of self.

   Therapy should also be considered to help her talk through what's going on with her emotionally and teach her tools to address her fears and anxiety.

8. sfparrishJune 28,2022 at 2:33PM UTC

   Momma I think you and daddy are equipped to reassure your daughter in those areas because of your experience. Maybe a career counselor could help. She is still young perhaps some volunteer work may help, or talking to people in various industries to get a feel for careers she might have interest in. Taking small steps as not to be so overwhelmed.

9. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 6:55PM UTC

   Thank you. I hadn't even considered a career counselor because she's not graduating college. Great idea!

10. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 5:31PM UTC

    I worked as a temp right out of high school - partly because my grades were so bad I didn't think I'd ever be good at college, and partly because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I can say that working as a temp gave me a wide variety of industry experience - reception and secretarial work are fairly universal across most industries.

    After temping for a while, I discovered that I really liked working in customer service, but I didn't like low pay or verbal abuse - and I had the beginnings of an IT skillset. This led to me working in a helpdesk environment, and I've worked in IT for 20+ years now.

    If she's interested in careers that will probably never see a downturn, pretty much anything to do with economic development is a growth career. Geographic Information Systems (GIS), graphic design, video editing, database management, project management, accounting, Information Technology, data analytics, etc. ...

    A lot of EDO's offer summer internships for college students; my organization currently has 15 interns for the summer. While no single job is recession-proof, there are careers that are, and I've listed a few of them above.

11. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 6:54PM UTC

    Thank you. What is an EDO?

12. Rebecca Van HoutJune 28,2022 at 7:31PM UTC

    I'd talk to her a lot about how it's very normal to change career trajectories and pick a field that has a lot of transferrable skills and is not easy to outsource. Healthcare is always in need of bright young people who want to make a difference in the world and you can make a decent living.

13. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJune 28,2022 at 9:35PM UTC

    Instead of your daughter being scared by your husband and yourself having to reinvent yourselves and your careers, I would encourage you to present that as a life lesson in resiliency.
    Which is probably the best life skill anyone can develop. It's not about what happens to you, it's about how you deal with what happens to you.

    And it sounds like both you and your husband dealt with what was thrown at y'all just fine. It might have taken some time but you got there. Change is inevitable - growth is optional.

    Second, I would suggest you encourage your daughter to look at her career as a journey. I think it's unrealistic that we expect 18 year olds to know what they want to do for the rest of their lives. Yes, there are those who knew they wanted to be a doctor, engineer, etc. since they were 5 but those folks are the exception IMO. Many people have more than one career. And unless one wants to do something specific, say an engineer, sometimes it doesn't matter what your degree is in. I'm a recruiter and many positions I work on just require a degree, but not in a specific discipline.

    Next, I would suggest you help your daughter realize that a decision made is not a life sentence. If she starts down a path, she should be encouraged to be honest with herself if she decides it isn't the right fit. It's ok to change your mind! Sometimes knowing that takes the pressure off making a decision. I always like to ask "what's the worst that could happen". Many times when you break it down, the worst really isn't all that bad.

    Some options for her to consider: I'm a big believer in gap years or multiple gap years. Volunteering, doing things for other people or animals is a great way to help build confidence, give people a sense of purpose and get them out of their own heads. Community college courses are a great way to explore potential career options - she could purposely take widely varying courses - say creative writing and welding - to see if anything sparks an interest or even a passion.

    Software developers are in fairly high demand, I see no slow down happening in the cyber security space and healthcare is a pretty stable segment of the job market - it's not like people are going to stop getting sick. Positions like speech-language therapists, occupational therapists and physical therapists are in high demand.

    Another option if she's thinking about a particular career/degree would be to get a low level job in that space to see what it's really like to work in that industry. Think you might want to go to law school? Work in a law office.

    Please let me know if you have any questions. Good luck and my best wishes to your daughter!

14. AnonymousJune 29,2022 at 12:33PM UTC

    This, all of this!!! I wish I would have had this kind of advice throughout my career journey, maybe then I wouldn't still be fighting with the feelings of 'failure' because I didn't have it all figured out.

15. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJune 30,2022 at 2:23AM UTC

    I have a news flash for you - pretty much no one has it all figured out ;o)

16. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 11:10PM UTC

    Keep an open mind about trade schools (usually shorter programs, some less than a year, many available through your local technical college at reasonable costs). I know we all think in terms of 4-year degrees for our children, but both of my kids are making more money in their 20's than I made until I was late 40's and neither of them have a 4-year degree. What does she enjoy doing? She can always decide to pursue a formal degree later.

17. AnonymousJune 28,2022 at 11:28PM UTC

    It might be helpful for her to start taking classes at a community college. She can take some of the general credit requirements, and maybe getting back into studying without a full career commitment will help her get her confidence back as a student. She may even discover something she's interested in pursuing. Once she completes some basic classes, she can consider a certificate program (some areas mentioned below), or take the credits and transfer into a four-year program. The school should also have a career office that can help direct her to some part-time positions that she might find interesting. The past few years have been tough on everyone, she needs to find that first step that she's willing to try and hopefully it gets her on a path out of her current funk.

18. AnonymousJune 29,2022 at 2:54AM UTC

    It's a balancing act. You don't want to enable the fear and anxiety but you want her support her and give her a sense that she has a future.

    I would definitely consider some professional counseling to allow her to have a place to find her voice and develop tools to navigate the world.

19. AnonymousJune 29,2022 at 10:17AM UTC

    I can only image the pressure she must be feeling as many high schoolers I have worked with (as a former professional photographer) have felt immense pressure to know their entire future at the age of 17 and 18.

    What sparks your daughters creativity and happiness? What brings her joy?

    She has such an advantage over so many of her peers. She is watching her parent reinvent themselves and see that life can take you in a variety of directions.

    As someone who just turned 40, closed a business she pour two decades into to reinvent herself, I only wish I would have witnessed my parents reinvent themselves in my teen years.

    She will find her way.

    I would also suggest personal development as it can greatly impact her life know and for years to come.

20. AnonymousJune 29,2022 at 2:15PM UTC

    First of all, I applaud your actions and being able to pivot to other careers. Instead of focusing on the need to do so, I would use the opportunity to discuss resiliency, the importance of continuing education and challenging and growing your experiences. It's not the setbacks that define us but how we handle them.

    It sounds like your daughter is uncertain of the future and we all are. Not knowing what's ahead, what jobs are considered 'safe', can we put down roots or have to relocate, are all these things are now a part of the new normal.

    I commend her for getting through high school and addressing her concerns by asking questions. It's good that she is and that you're providing therapy. It's a lot for her to go through and I can understand why her confidence is shaken.

    To continue conversations, I would suggest brainstorming ideas together. Put aside what's practical and jot down careers that interest her. If she's excited about what's to come that might help. In addition, college is meant to explore new ideas and having the opportunity to take even a few courses might bring back excitement about learning and future careers.

    I've changed careers and industries more than five times since college. I was open to opportunities and although my resume looks a bit like a patchwork quilt, it's made me the person I am today.

    I wish her all the best! Once again, I applaud you both for helping her along the way and addressing the tough questions.

21. Kimberley Ferretti HammettJune 29,2022 at 3:54PM UTC

    It is a very understandable place to be, especially when traditionally we are taught that we need stability from our careers.

    As a career coach, here's where I'd suggest you start with her:

    One: Keep it up with therapy! This can help increase her coping skills and overcome some of the fear and confidence blocks.

    Two: Use you and your hubby as examples, in a positive way! Yes, you both had career changes, and you've survived, thrived even! Accelerated change is the reality and will not go away. 10 years from now there will be jobs/industry we can't yet imagine, no less prepare for. The skill she needs under her belt is adaptability and self-assurance to keep her career moving and supporting the life she wants. I don't think of it so much as "reinventing ourselves" as "reapplying ourselves". It's daunting to think we will have to continually deal with roadblocks and changes but once we learn to become our own safety-net it's actually quite freeing.

    Three: Tell her you are confident she has everything she needs to succeed and continue to succeed. Cite examples of times she has overcome challenges without much help (or by soliciting help from the right resources which is a talent in itself!). Remind her she is capable and you're there to support her in growing and applying her talents.

    Wishing you both the absolute best <3

22. Barb HansenJune 29,2022 at 4:59PM UTC

    There are over 12,000 thousands of different careers in the world and we as individuals may be able to list a few hundred (or less).
    How can anyone figure out what job to pick?

    Here is what I tell people who ask me that question:

    1- the career you pick today doesn't mean that's the job you'll do in 5 years or in 15 years, so don't stress too much.

    2- unless you are really sure that your career path requires a 4-year degree, don't waste the money on a 4-year degree for a career that don't really know if you'll want to do.

    3- if you are unsure what path to choose right out of high school, go to your local 2-year community college, and take a general education or business classes. Community colleges are way cheaper than 4-year colleges. Many community colleges are feeder schools to 4-year colleges so if you decide that you want a 4-year degree you can move from your 2-year college to it's 4-year partner.

    3.a- Taking a general business education in community college is a great well rounded associates degree to get. You may decide that you want to transition into another field but having a solid education in communication, basic math/accounting, marketing and leadership will transfer to literally any career.

    4-while you are in community college, take as many different courses (there are plenty of weekend courses) and try new things. Take a skilled trade class. You never know, you may love it (and many skilled trades pay really good wages). Take a computer programming class, even if you don't think you'll like it. Take an art class or a theatre class or a civils class or a CAD/CAM class. Expose yourself to as many different fields. You may not love everything or you may find your career or you may find a great hobby.

    5-Explore different jobs on YouTube. Ever wonder what it's like to be an Accountant or a Product Manager or an Occupational Therapist? Youtube videos can show you.

    6-Don't stress, and be open to the discovery. Chances are the career you choose in your senior year of high school wont' be the career you have in 10 years, so be mindful of your educational costs and dive in :)

23. AnonymousJune 29,2022 at 7:27PM UTC

    Shift to her. Before even asking her to focus on a career s college, what even interest her? If you tell us that, we can give suggestions on the best pathway forward. As expensive as college is, it is not necessarily for everyone. For ex, some people who accomplish a skilled trade like plumbing, construction, interior designing, you don’t necessarily need a degree. You can pay minimal to get certified and a lot of folks have turned that into lucrative careers without being in debt from college. Or maybe she can get a simple job at an insurance company at a call center where she will be a salaried employee. So atleast she can get paid, move out the house and have stable income until she figures out what she wants to do. Once she does figure out what she wants do,

    i highly recommend she still work and go to school part time. So maybe instead of getting the degree in 4 yrs, she would get it in 5-6 years as a part time student. But having all those years of working along with it, would make her even more appealing to employers. If she is worried about being laid off from jobs or from your experience, sticking with huge companies that’s been around a long time I,e, several decades and been through a few depressions are examples of the type of companies she should pursue. And she should try to focus on a job that she believes she is not only happy with but has a stable demand. Like doctors, lawyers, engineers, technicians, college professors, biologists. May have her journal out her interests join a hobby or club to see how those interests manifest and that may help give her a better idea Of what she is interested in. When you figure that out. Tell us so someone who already knows about or has that background can tell you direct tips on the pathway to her getting there

24. AnonymousJune 30,2022 at 3:57AM UTC

    She has already learned so much from your example.

    Pivoting is “adapting” and while difficult, it is necessary. As for support, finding a shared language or giving her ways to articulate her concerns safely are key - as we all tend to live between our ears. Choosing a major at 17 is not the best use of time when our brains aren’t fully developed until 26. Context is everything.
    Certainty is comforting, but it isn’t real.
    Any high school student needs time to be curious and explore interests, develop values, and practice for mastery. Resilience is developed when there’s a good relationship to failure. Making mistakes is how we find out what works and what doesn’t. Control is an illusion. Alignment is possible when we focus on who we want to be vs. what we want to do. We are living in a time of immense fabrication. Sugar coating is futile. Students need time and support to for building relationships, developing skills, and knowing what problems they want to solve.

    sincerely,
    a teacher

25. Just MeJune 30,2022 at 12:39PM UTC

    have her take some time off to evaluate if she really wants to go to college

26. Paulla Fetzek, MSEdJune 30,2022 at 1:20PM UTC

    When I entered the workforce in 1989 - you could get yourself into the job market based on your drive and initiative. And from there you could grow and learn skills. This continued for about the next 20 years.

    These days, while more companies are lessening their stance on employees having degrees, MarketWatch notes that about 51% of job postings state holding a bachelors as a requirement.

    Which is difficult I grant as only roughly about 35% of Americans have one!

    In an April 2022 article, the Washington Post noted that nearly 4 million Americans without college degrees are having difficulty finding work after the pandemic. https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/2021/04/22/jobs-no-college-degree/

    Is it possible to get a job without a degree? Yes. But overall, it appears to remain a huge sticking point in landing a job.

27. Cynthia Armistead NewmanJune 30,2022 at 8:19PM UTC

    Most of those jobs do, thankfully, say, "or equivalent experience." I don't have a degree (yet, I'm in college) and I've not had any trouble getting jobs despite that in 30+ years of work.

28. Melissa NobileJuly 11,2022 at 12:28PM UTC

    There is always the military option. Check out the Navy! They need people in PR, on subs, in law offices, in planes, not just on ships at sea. She can serve, make some money, figure out what she wants to do and then use her GI Bill to pay for college.

    If she likes serving, the USN will send her to undergrad, then OCS, and she can serve the remainder as an officer. The Navy has lots of options!

    The Army and Air Force also have tons of options available.