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I started a new job in February after being laid off in September of 2023.

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Anonymous

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I started a new job in February after being laid off in September of 2023.

The pay is amazing. It is for a start-up out of state. I work at home. There are only 50 people in the parent company and 5 in my start up side of things. Everyone seemed to be great when I started but now the inevitable drama is coming out and there is a good bit of dysfunction going on. Since I got laid off from a super dysfunctional company I am very sensitive about this stuff and it is freaking me out. The last year at my last job was awful. Not sure how a start-up is going to survive with all this going on. Some full-on adults are acting like children. Of course, I am new and have no idea most of the time what is going on. So I have just been very confused when my colleagues have refused to give me information or keep me out of meetings. My boss keeps me up to date on the drama and that seems bad as well. He keeps telling me to not worry about it, but then will detail to me what is wrong with everyone else but him. I am doing my best not to get involved and just do my job. The other day in a meeting my boss openly bad-mouthed our tech team to two other engineers. It felt yucky, especially for someone new. We only have one HR person and my boss hired her. I am not sure what to do about it other than try to focus and do my job. I know that companies are complex and they all have their baggage. I think back to my last job and there was drama then but perhaps I was better at ignoring it in the beginning because I had more to do. I have been slow to get up to speed. Anyway..any advice? After loosing my job and the stress of finding a new one god knows I don't need more stress. I was hoping this would be a peaceful new beginning. Maybe I am just making stuff up because I was so paranoid at my last job.

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  1. Melissa Nobile

    Keep your head down, do your job well, and ignore the drama.

  2. Anonymous

    There are no peaceful beginnings I'm afraid.

    You build your own peace. You are dragging your past fears and bad experience with you and so you are ultra sensitive to repeating that. The shenanigans at work are triggering you.

    But what you can do, aside from keeping your head down and ignoring the drama, is focus more on your personal life. That means get involved in interests and hobbies, volunteer in your community. Just balance your life so that are not so focused on work and all that entails.

    Get outside now that the weather is changing. Run/walk/hike. Exercise helps with stress and will help you not dwell on the things that scare you (like losing your job, your company failing, etc) take up a new interest like taking cooking classes, making pottery, gardening etc. Really start to enjoy your life and the financial stability you now have.

    Stay positive with meditation, prayer, etc. Take care if those around you that are struggling. It puts things in perspective and helps you appreciate your good fortune.

    With more balance and time outside your head, you will gain distance from the drama at work and find more peace. Ultimately YOU are the source of your peace and happiness. But you must actively cultivate it. It doesn't just magically happen.

  3. Anonymous

    I get text message "Hi everyone, my name is Cherry and I can recommend a day JOBS to you that will definitely interest you and I would be honored to tell you more, okay?" - does anyone know if this is a real job? shall I report junk or reply to hear more... is this a Phishing risk? thank you

  4. Anonymous

    I think you meant to put this on another thread, but with as little information as is in this text, I would give it a pass. If the last name were there and the company "Cherry" supposedly represents, I would check it and her out on Linked In and google the company, but if what you write here is all you received, it is probably a scam. Most legitimate recruiters will email you with a job description or leave a voicemail on your phone with their name, the company they represent, and at least the job title.

  5. Anonymous

    I have avoided start-ups in my job search for just this reason. I would be on the sales side of things so perhaps a different type of role than you, but in my mind, start up means you are going to need to bring extra energy every day-in a sales role they want someone who has a rolodex of customers to bring over-they want everything fast and furious. Whatever your role, I'd say strive to be innovative, help identify needed processes, build credibility so that your recommendations are received well, and potentially acted on, and ultimately, be able to do your job regardless of the distractions and noise.

    If you want a role in a company with well established policies and processes, then a start up may not be your ideal gig - but I think there's always going to be a little drama to figure out when you're the new person, regardless of how well structured the company is.

    You could take a step back and reassess. Be observant and maybe adopt a new purpose like I am here because they need my help in figuring some of this out. Reach out to individuals in your ecosystem and start to create your own relationships. In doing that, you'll better understand what is truly lacking. From there, perhaps you will have created yourself a platform to make some recommendations to make things better-if not, at least you have your own relationships and can better understand what is perhaps frustration from real issues and what might just be personality conflicts or something similar.

    Be professional with your boss-it would be best not to alienate him. Once you have your bearings, maybe start establishing some boundaries so that the communication is professional both ways.

    Luckily in small companies, there is always opportunity to carve out a role for yourself that may not exist today-it takes time to understand the environment and figure all of that out but that also might let you migrate away from him if he's the problem.

    Hopefully some of my advice will help you think about other ways that you might be able to gain some control as I do believe that will be key to your longevity in that environment. I wish you very good luck in your future there!

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