What to do about feeling stuck in a job that doesn't make me happy?

11 Comments

1. AnonymousJune 16,2023 at 2:09AM UTC

   Depends what type of frustations you are talking about.

2. Heather (she/her)June 16,2023 at 8:33AM UTC

   You have a lot of options here. If you feel like a direct conversation with your supervisor would help, it's always better to start there. If you're worried about retaliation, then I'd start with HR instead. Unfortunately, you have to consider that no matter who you bring up your concerns to, it might change nothing and it COULD (thought it shouldn't) impact you negatively. I'd start trying to really build up your relationships with other teams and hope that it aligns you well to step into a different team/role when an opening comes up. I'd also start looking elsewhere if you really feel like the issues are too big to ignore.

3. AnonymousJune 16,2023 at 2:42PM UTC

   i would talk to the supervisor if she is reasonable approach able and has a decent emotional intelligence. Be careful talking to HR, as oftentimes, they do nothing. If you do talk to HR, have an exit plan. HR is

   not your friend and usually supports staff with higher title. Sounds like getting a different job may be the option, is possible. Good luck!

4. AnonymousJune 16,2023 at 5:14PM UTC

   This is exactly correct - anything you bring to HR can and will be used against you. HR is there to protect the company from litigation.

5. AnonymousJune 17,2023 at 12:59PM UTC

   Look around for an internal transfer. If you're not sure how the process works, ask HR or someone you can trust outside your department.

6. AnonymousJune 17,2023 at 1:32PM UTC

   I’m having trouble following your narrative: you’re extremely frustrated with your year-old job and ready to leave but you love where you work?

   I’m also not clear on your primary complaint. Is it that your supervisor isn’t receptive to your opinions and input? (BTW, Despite your advanced degree, someone else is still in charge and they don’t have to take action on everything you suggest) Or is it the regulatory issue?

   Not sure why you’re making your boss play a guessing game about your unhappiness in the position. Raise the issue with them: put some time off their calendar, provide an agenda ahead of time, come to the table with solutions and figure out if you can both get to yes. You’re an educated woman, you have an advanced degree…along with that sometimes comes difficult conversations.

   Suffering is a choice, you have a laundry list of options in front of you before pulling the rip cord. Best of luck.

7. AnonymousJune 17,2023 at 2:14PM UTC

   As the saying goes, YOU ARE responsible for your own happiness. I do not understand about "suffering" when you could apply for a position at another big company. I am guessing that you do NOT have experience with complaining to your supervisor or HR in terms of office politics. Once you complain, you will be most likely be on the list to be eventually FIRED. Large companies do NOT like "complainers" unless you have a mass amount of employees complaining about similar issues together. You will be labeled as "disruptive, uncooperative, not a good team player, etc" by your supervisor and HR. I am predicting the company will find a way to fire you by starting to nitpick on your Performance Reviews. HR IS NOT YOUR ADVOCATE OR FRIEND. HR is there to mainly protect the employer from potential lawsuits. Remember about how many employees were protected when they went to HR to complain about Sexual Harassment before the "Me Too Movement"? 99% of those employees were FIRED until a large amount of employees had similar complaints with a particular sexual predator. In addition, the work world is very small and word do go around about employees. I have heard cases in which some employees get blackballed in the job market and yet no concrete proof for any legal action. Stop moaning and groaning about your current situation and "Vote with your feet". Your employer is NOT obligated to make you happy. YOU have that control and have the ability to find happiness by yourself....Go find another job at another company that you would be happy with.

8. AnonymousJune 17,2023 at 6:04PM UTC

   Is there someone at the company, not your boss, that you could confide in?

   Office politics can be difficult to navigate, especially if you have only been there a year. I would recommend reaching out to someone you trust that has been with the company longer that may be able to provide some insight. This can help you to determine if the general atmosphere you're experiencing is part of a larger cultural issue, or if it relates to your team directly. They may be able to offer advice on certain individuals or policy. There also may be a way to report some of the regulatory oversights you are witnessing, in some places, even anonymously.

   I disagree with previous posts about not mentioning it to your boss or HR at all. Those are valid options, they just wouldn't be my first option. I would recommend contacting HR only if something regulatory is an issue, something safety related perhaps, or if your leadership is clearly violating company policy.

   As far as speaking to your supervisor directly, just make sure you are approaching the conversation keeping their perspective in mind. They may not realize the way they are coming across, or there may be reasons for going in one direction over another. What I like to do is give minor feedback and see how they react. If they are curious, ask follow up questions, or try to implement an idea, I can infer that they have a growth mindset and determine how future feedback may be received. Alternatively, if they react poorly or judgmental, I can conclude other feedback will not be well received.

9. AnonymousJune 18,2023 at 3:49PM UTC

   That's a tough one. I was recently in a role where something similar was going on - my experience and knowledge about the proper way to do things was dismissed and ridiculed in favor of my boss' cowboy way of doing things and his cronies' personal preferences. Glad to be out of there and on to the next thing. If you are at a big company though, maybe you can apply for another department.

10. Zeecil KimmelJune 19,2023 at 11:44AM UTC

    First, I would sit down and figure out if the issues have a solution. Sometimes supervisors, companies, and co-workers do not want to change and your input is not appreciated. Or it could be your delivery style - and if you took the advice of other posters and had a 1:1 everything could be different. Once you evaluate what your options are you can make better decisions. As most people stated, going to HR or even above your supervisor will most probably not get you any resolution. If you decide no one is interested in changing then find out about applying to a different position in the company.

    Best of Luck

11. AnonymousJune 19,2023 at 6:25PM UTC

    If the issues are about your manager take it to the HR person but bring it in a non-blaming way. Ask for their help to navigate any changes that need to happen and let them know you are willing to work through their recommendations. To be clear I am a bit worried for you since you say last straw as that usually means done and done. Think long and hard about the overall company and usually moving a problem from one dept to another doesn't fix anything. Good luck.