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Anyone ever not apply to a job because your confidence level wasn't there?

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Anonymous

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Anyone ever not apply to a job because your confidence level wasn't there? How did you overcome it so that it didnt happen again? I have worked in the child welfare/social services/non-profit sector for years. A position was recently presented to me to work in the community moreso leading committee meetings primarily. It brought up feelings of not being smart enough or belonging because I remember how I felt over looked in the past by those that knew more about grants and program management than me. I didnt know the lingo that they knew or could speak the data that they were looking for. I did my job and served the people so I felt like the small fish but they wanted to only talk to the big fish. This recent postion sounded interesting. The pay would habe been a much needed increase and my benefits would not have been impacted from my current postion. I just didnt feel like I was well versed enough to fit in. I know that I never know something until I try....I have got to work on this. I've ran a small community resource center before for a 600 unit apartmart complex and felt really good about myself and what I learned in the postion. The job was also very fulfilling. I had people there that taught me what I didnt know. This recent position seemed as if they needed someone asap because the application time was only open 7 days. My job that I work now is very toxic and the manager is pretty much a loud, bullying, gaslighting, attention seeking, disruptive, vulgar, offensive, disrespectful, narcissist in denial....and I hate working with her. It's anxiety inducing working with her. I want out of this job and I will move on from this job, but I also want to move on to something that I feel confident that I can do. I'm teachable, but most jobs these day just throw you in for ojt from the start and if their is no learning curve and they are punitive during the training process however that looks....I dont want that for myself. I'm going to work on my resume and probably need to look for some professional training opportunities to build up my knowledge, confidence, and skills.

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  1. Anonymous

    Much of the "lingo" in the human services professions is the same, whether in child welfare or case management for the homeless, so many of your skills are transferrable. What I have done when I needed more information on a more specialized topic, is to get some education. There are degrees and continuing education programs for much of what you need. If you need help writing grants (for example), many community colleges have outreach CE programs with these types of seminars. If your company doesn't cover it, most are affordable. Some will also cover things like program and case management. You can also check out the Coursera and Udemy websites. If you are looking for data analytics, you can get a taste of it in the CE courses, but most jobs require a specialized degree.

  2. Anonymous

    I had a boss like that. Him and a co worker would set me up to look bad. I was told I was doing a poor job when I was in fact doing great. It wasn’t worth the stress and possible health issues that would arise if I stayed. You need to have respect wherever you work.

  3. Anonymous

    That rarely works in these cases.

  4. Anonymous

    It sure sounds like you have made decisions about things you have not even interviewed for and companies that you have not yet worked for and are taking baggage from your past and dragging that along with you into the new things ahead. Don't! It will hurt you. Instead focus on what you want and need and ask solid questions up front and in the interviews about how they upskill new hires and train people to be great at their new roles. Often companies don't have the funds to train new people and so they hire you hoping you will figure it out solo or that you come in fully loaded. If that is something you don't want don't say yes to an offer there.

    As for your current situation, it definitely sounds like you cannot set boundaries with your manager for their behavior towards you. If it is truly too late to have that conversation put together a thoughtful exit strategy and for now, stay heads down and just do the work and not anything else. Any spare time should be spent on branding yourself for the future and not taking the past along with. Good luck, and stay upbeat.

  5. Anonymous

    If you DON'T apply, you WON'T be selected.

    You don't know what's going on at employers. I'd stop with the preconceived notions and put yourself out there; it's the only way to gain confidence

  6. Anonymous

    I’m on the fence on the “fake it til you make it” approach. I feel better getting away from people who gave this advice. It can be inauthentic and I found myself around people with unwarranted egos. The op sounds accomplished and I’m worried about her lack of confidence. Faking it won’t lead to her truly developing that.

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