How do I convey the challenges I'm facing in my new role and express that I'm not sure if this is the best fit without sounding like I'm complaining?

Anonymous

October 6,2021 at 5:42PM UTC

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How do I convey the challenges I'm facing in my new role and express that I'm not sure if this is the best fit without sounding like I'm complaining?

Some background:

I started my first product manager job(officially titled Technical Product Manager) role on June 1, 2021, and I am thinking about quitting for a few reasons. I feel like I should at least try to convey some of the challenges before just flat out putting in my 2-weeks notice. I also am not sure if I should even go down the path of mentioning that I'm not sure if this role is a good fit for me and vice versa so I'd like some advice.

Reasons why I'm considering quitting the job:

1. I'm realizing that the product is a bit too technical for me and I despise having to think through the low-level technical requirements that I thought my development team would handle. I have a bit of a technical background, but from my experience over the last few months, I think they need a former software engineer who wants to move into Product with a full-stack background.

2. The split focus between coming up with the product vision, the roadmap, the strategy, the requirements AND managing the projects is too much. We don't have project managers.

3. The constant meetings to align and realign are debilitating.

4. I end up working at night 3-4 days a week. I have a one-year-old and I just don't know if I can keep it up. It's not mandatory to work, but I feel like it's the only way to keep up and I don't even think I am doing that.

5. I think I want to focus on project management only. This position has made that more apparent. I don't want to be the holder of the vision and client's story like I once thought. I want to put the deliverable pieces together and help the team estimate completion. Help them remove roadblocks.

I've mentioned to my manager that the current state is a lot and asked her how she manages to handle all of it. She basically said it's just a day in the life.

The constant stress/anxiety and working at night has become too much. I barely have the energy/time to look for something that may better align and am thinking about quitting. I have applied to some jobs but it's not as focused as I'd like.

I also have this fear that maybe I'm just not communicating my challenges and I want to give that a shot first.

How would you say it in a tactful way that doesn't come off as complaining as to solicit more actionable advice on how to handle the workload?

I'd like to do that first, try to improve, and then assess if this just isn't the right fit before leaving. Thank you if you've made it this far.

On the topic of leaving - how would you communicate why you left a job before the 6 month mark to a future employer?

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Barb HansenOctober 6,2021 at 6:08PM UTC
As background, I have spent over 20 years in product management most of that time spent as product manager/lead in digital/tech startups.
In some companies, your manager is correct, your "issues" are day-in-the-life of a technical product manager except I completely disagree with you having to work at night. That's not necessary.
The title of Product Manager means different things in different companies and can mean different things in the same company and the same role depending on the life-cycle of a product.
In some product jobs that I have held, my role as technical product manager, placed me squarely in the "lead technical person" for the product. I wasn't coding but I had to know more about the technical stake than the engineers and I was the person that that team turned to when they needed issues resolved. This is just part of what can constitute a Product role.
here is my suggestion for you:
Since you are working more than your 40/50 hours a week, you could suggest bringing in a Product Owner/Technical Product Manager to "own/manage" the tech side of Product and you could manage the research/business/client side of Product.
Frankly in my not-so-humble opinion, most Product roles should be split into a technical product person and a business product person because finding a person who can do it all is like finding a unicorn.
I have worked in and managed product teams that have been split and with good leadership those product partnerships work great.
If you want to chat off-line, ping me, I'm happy to help you craft a compelling story for your management team.
Best of luck!
AnonymousOctober 7,2021 at 2:37PM UTC
I think you should go into this conversation offering suggestions of how your team could improve, i.e. bringing in a project manager or you switching to that role (which better suits your skills, etc.) and then helping find someone to fill in the gaps that are left. If you can make a convincing argument as to why that will help the company and make your team more productive, your manager is likely to agree and say yes. Plus then you'll be able to almost create the exact job that you're looking for without having to change companies.
Aubrey ArmesOctober 12,2021 at 7:56PM UTC
Start the conversation from the perspective that you want to be successful in your role and could use some support from your boss to do just that. Be humble, not arrogant or entitled. Take ownership of wanting to be the best you can be in the role, and as it's going right now you aren't feeling as successful as you want to.
Ask for tangible ways to manage the workload - not just the "day in a life" response - but also assess if they are asking for a "reasonable" workload from the position.
A few questions for you - is the job what you expected/anticipated it to be from the interview process? If it is, then is this is a case of you are refining what role you really want to be in? If not, what is different? This is good to bring into the conversation with your boss, again from a "success" standpoint. 1. ie, What made you think the dev team would handle the technical aspects? Was this an assumption, how it's commonly done in the workplaces you are familiar with, communicated in the interview process?
It sounds like coming up with the product vision, the roadmap, the strategy, the requirements should fall into someone else's role - ask about that to confirm/clarify that understanding. Maybe someone is falling short and it's landing in your lap.
For the stress/anxiety - try to assess how much of that you are bringing to the table vs how much is created by the culture. You may want to see a therapist or coach to help you better manage your anxiety/stress.
Happy to chat live with you if you'd like for a more in depth strategy of how to handle your situation.
Marguerite Thibodeaux, Leadership & Career CoachOctober 12,2021 at 11:15PM UTC
Congratulations on recognizing a poor fit early on and proactively looking to make a positive change.
I see a couple options here.
1. You could ask your manager for help temporarily taking some responsibilities off your plate until you adjust and can add more on without working nights. Sounds like this is a new role and easing you in might make sense. I'd also ask for support getting more efficient at what does stay on your plate. The learning curve is always steeper with a little help.
2. Get some outside help. Your manager doesn't seem very eager to help. That might mean she just needs more direct requests to get going (like Option 1) or it could mean she's just not very development oriented, in which case seeking out a mentor or a professional coach could be helpful. (If you're interested in a coach, DM me. I'd be happy to share more about how that would work.)
3. Cut your losses and look for another role, explaining that your current role was to test out a new career trajectory and you learned a lot in a few months, especially where your strengths are (hopefully aligned to whatever you're interviewing for next).
AnonymousOctober 16,2021 at 2:53PM UTC
Definitely ask for help, and network with peers. I am in a similar situation, and doing just those two things has really made a difference.