Stuck in a toxic environment and can't find a new job!

46 Comments

1. AnonymousMarch 12,2022 at 12:00AM UTC

   I think when we are in a toxic situation and are applying for jobs sometimes we give off a "aura" due to the emotional toll it has taken on us as often our self worth and confidence takes a hit. I would suggest getting some counselling to help you deal with the emotional baggage we all carry from these toxic environments while you are searching.

2. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 2:02PM UTC

   This is great advice and so true. Therapy helps us reset our mind and emotions.

3. AnonymousMarch 12,2022 at 1:05AM UTC

   Therapy will help so devote some time with that while you still have benefits. Then form a plan. If you still want to leave without a job after therapy and have 6 months of savings go for it. Time doesn't heal without hard work.

4. AnonymousMarch 14,2022 at 12:49PM UTC

   Now more than ever is that time to do that. Just be prepared to not be in a new job right away. I realized midway through last year that my new job was not what I thought it would be and started preparing for an exit (it ended up being mutual at the end of the year).

   I wish I had given myself time previously to plan and determine what it is I really wanted to do and I'm getting that opportunity now. I would recommend you find a coach and work with them to get your resume in peak shape, guiding your job search (including revamping your LinkedIn), and providing interview help...specific questions and how to answer them (including crafting your "why did you leave" response).

5. Taylor HenrieMarch 14,2022 at 8:08PM UTC

   Hi! In my opinion this is becoming more and more common. If your mental health is at risk and you can financially handle a small break, absolutely do it! When it comes time to interview and you are asked about the gap - be honest. I think it is perfectly fine to say you were approaching burnout and needed to take some time for yourself. I would add that now you are feeling rejuvenated and energized to tackle your next opportunity!

   I am not sure what your skillset is, but we are hiring at Clearlink! You can check out our open roles here https://www.clearlink.com/careers/

   Good luck!

   Taylor

6. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 12:14PM UTC

   I think in the current world environment and with positive talk about mental health, I think it is perfectly fine to explain a gap as taking time to recover from burnout. I have been in this same situation, a remote worker who has an employer that does not respect work-life boundaries and it pushes you towards burnout and I believe it is a cause of the toxic work culture. So much so that I'm writing my doctoral dissertation on the subject.

7. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 12:15PM UTC

   I quit my last job last year without another one lined up.
   I made a complete pivot from that to pursue an old career I hadn’t imagined pursuing again. It’s taken me almost a year to finally get some traction, develop a resume that actually produced interviews, wait for open positions to appear. It wasn’t easy to leave my toxic job and it hasn’t been easy since. I’ve had a lot of impostor syndrome symptoms.

   I wouldn’t worry about the break in your resume. No one has asked me about why I made a pivot, why I haven’t been in my new field for the past six years, why I deviated from my skilled career for so long and how have I been readying myself to jump back in? They’ve all been interested in talking about my unique experience and background. I can feel that my dry spell is finally coming to an end. The next job may not quite be the right fit, but it’s much closer than the one I quit.

   Take that time for you. Use it and get yourself out of that hole of self-doubt and insecurity and frustration. I understand and I believe in you!

8. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 12:25PM UTC

   OP, I’ve been in your situation many many a time. My last round came at the end of May 2021. If I had the resources to support myself and didn’t have to take another job, I would have. The levels of toxicity are still being felt today, as I approach one year of leaving. If you can, try to find a way to have a little time off between jobs. The reason I say this is because after that God awful experience I’ve been struggling ever since. It’s hard to find the good hope in a new job when it’s so tainted by the very immediate past. Good luck in your search. If you can, take that breather.

9. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 12:31PM UTC

   take the break. Be sure to ask the right questions in your interviews to avoid a repeat experience. Also don’t ignore red flags. Try not to put yourself in a desperate situation. (I say these things from experience). All the best to you!

10. Maggie StoneMarch 15,2022 at 12:46PM UTC

    I have definitely been in toxic work environments that I could not leave .
    It is awful dreading go to work every day. If you have enough of a financial cushion to weather a long period of unemployment, then yes, get out of the toxic environment. If not, I would arrange to take as long a vacation as possible and use that time to develop a plan and search. When you explain the gap, I would not talk about the toxic environment. I would say that I was in a position that was not a good fit and I decided to take the time to carefully consider my next move. And if you want therapy to process this, that might be a good idea, or vent it out to a journal or someone in your support system.

11. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 12:47PM UTC

    You could temp while looking for a new job, thus avoiding a gap.
    And have the flexibility while looking. A worthwhile employer will not be concerned with a gap. They want the best person for the job and realize that it isn't determined by your time card.

12. Maegan MMarch 15,2022 at 12:55PM UTC

    Hey anonymous, that is great you have a track record of success - how comfortable are you with confidently speaking to the value of your accomplishments?

    You may just need some tweaking to how you are positioning your accomplishments and speaking to them in the interview.

    Linkedin now has a feature to list and explain career gaps . This might help you : https://blog.linkedin.com/2021/april/12/a-better-way-to-address-career-gaps

    If you are interested in getting support to get ready to leave and make it farther in your interviews, I'd love to share my Career Capital Method with you so you feel more in control of your career, fulfilled, valued by others, and appropriately paid. Here is my link to schedule a 45 minute Career Capital Roadmap call so I can share my 3 step strategy with you ! https://maeganmillercoaching.as.me/consultcall

13. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 12:56PM UTC

    It’s absolutely ok to quit and take time to recover. I agree with other posters… just explain that you wanted a change because the last position wasn’t a good fit. No need to say more than that. And say you were able to take some time off to give yourself a break and really look at your options because you want to make sure the new job is a great fit.

14. Dr. Tega EdwinMarch 15,2022 at 12:57PM UTC

    Yes, it is ok to quit so you have time and energy to focus on your job search. As a matter of fact, this is the only time I encourage my clients to quit without a backup plan.

    Job searching can already be stressful without the right strategy or mindset which means going into it with the right attitude and energy level is important - being in a toxic job makes it hard to do that.

    If you're quitting to focus on your job search, chances are you'll only have a 3-5 month gap on your resume - most recruiters aren't going to inquire about that. Especially not in the age of the pandemic where everyone knows people are being more flexible with their job. So, if they don't ask, there's nothing for you to explain or divulge. If they do ask, you can be honest "My previous work environment wasn't a value fit so I decided to leave to focus my energy on finding a company like this one where I believe I can bring a lot of value and leverage my relevant skills to help reach our goals."

15. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 2:04PM UTC

    I really loved your use of the phrase value fit.

    Its a very appropriate career goal.

16. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 3:36PM UTC

    That's helpful. I quit 3 weeks ago and wasn't sure how to talk about it with future employers. So grateful to no longer be there.

17. Cyndy TrivellaMarch 15,2022 at 1:02PM UTC

    I am so sorry you have to deal with this. I've been in your situation and I know it feels paralyzing.

    The short answer is yes, you can leave before securing a new job, but ask yourself a few questions before you exit:

    1) Am I financially able to do this for at least 6 months?

    2) Do I understand what is toxic in my current company?

    3) Do I know what I need to feel safe in a new company?

    4) What is my strategy for finding a new job?

    5) Can I depend on my network to help me find a new job?

    6) In addition to looking for work, what else can I do during this time to lessen my feelings of burnout?

    7) Am I mentally able to explain why the gap in my work history without feeling awkward?

    Question number 6 is especially important to address. Burnout is real and spills over into all facets of a person's life. Also in explaining the gap, it's more of a mental preparedness exercise. Practice in front of a mirror to gauge your facial expressions and body language. Being confident and natural here is important.

    All the best with whichever decision you make.

18. Samantha s.March 15,2022 at 1:14PM UTC

    Such great advice! I echo this list as it will better help you to understand and objectively assess the situation, allow you to have introspection, and will likely help you to improve you professional contribution and hopefully your future work environment as well.

19. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 1:04PM UTC

    I left a toxic job and was out of work for about 9 months. I work in healthcare so my job gap didn’t seem to concern my new employer. I did finish a degree within those 9 months so had that reason in my back pocket if needed. I dreaded going into work everyday and so did most of my co-workers that had the same boss. I feel the break allowed me to reset my attitude and my new work place is very different. The new place is helping me grow in my field so learning a lot new things in a short period of time can be stressful but I’ve yet to dread coming into work. I may leave physically tired but not mentally exhausted like my last position. If you have the means to support yourself for a while then take a break; I know it was definitely worth it for me and my mental health.

20. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 1:29PM UTC

    I thought I was taking my dream job in October 2021. It had all the makings of potential to really allow my skill set to shine. At first I thought I was just making learning mistakes in my new company culture and that I would assimilate but the fact became very clear that a handful of people could not stand my devoted work ethic and generally optimistic outlook so when I finally broke down after getting sick and still being forced to work 7 days a week 17 hours a day, they created a reason to suspend me. I was devastated at first and then after 3 days, I began to get better and the more I thought about it, the more I was ready to hand in my resignation. My options seemed abundant in my career field, but sadly no one would hire me. It’s been 4 months and I’ve taken a temporary job. It hurt a lot financially because I moved for the job and haven’t been able to recover plus I only know a couple of people in my new town. Reading the comments here, actually helped me, so I’m grateful for you and everyone who posted. My mental and physical health is back to it’s good state but financially I wasn’t prepared for this and from that aspect, I’m struggling to keep the lights on and pay the rent

    . Just things to consider as others have mentioned here.

    I reflect about what I could have differently and sadly there were not any options other than mistakes I really could not avoid.

    If you have an option to take breaks to listen to positive input, such as healing meditation music, positive affirmations or just fun dance music- try that to help you get thru.

    Make sure you are eating a well balanced diet to keep up your inner glow and not contribute to the toxicity.

    Get as much as 6 walks in for 5 minutes at a time. It helps reset.

    Try to reframe their negativity and find the positive way to say what they are saying.

    Best of luck!!

21. Zofia JaneczekMarch 15,2022 at 1:43PM UTC

    Of course it is! I'm even surprised that ANY business would expect someone to have a spotless job record considering that we're still in a pandemic-have been for 3 years! Taking personal time off from a toxic job or bad job isn't failure. The whole system of finding jobs is pretty messed up, despite companies needing workers, it's still difficult to get a new job. So much red tape and hoops to jump through! It's an outdated system that simply is not matching the right candidates with the correct jobs. Hence high turn over at many employers. I'm currently employed full-time, need to find something else because the pay is making me suffer. If you have money set aside, and can just leave, do so and concentrate on you and finding better. It's out there, however, the good ones take an investment of your time to find. Best of luck to you!

22. Madam anon663March 15,2022 at 2:20PM UTC

    Ok, it hasn't been three years, only two. Enough time for employers to figure out how to not be such jerks, and take care of their people so that they have productive employees. Toxicity has no place anywhere.

23. Zofia JaneczekMarch 15,2022 at 6:24PM UTC

    Didn't this mess start in 2020, I mean COVID?

    Or actually end of 2019 but it was "just the regular flu." We're in America, companies here don't seem to understand, treat your workers nice and you'll keep decent employees. I now have about nearly 20 years of terrible jobs behind me, there is no shortage of bad employers! I 100 percent agree that toxicity has no place anywhere, however this world isn't ideal and employers often have power and lots of money, they tend to treat workers like crap. The pandemic has helped, at least in the lower sectors some but it's not enough. Worker rights, pay, and benefits, are still sub-par in many companies. The current rate of inflation and actual pay being given don't even come close to matching up. So no, companies haven't learned that much, sadly.

24. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 1:45PM UTC

    I did just that; I quit a nice, 6 figure position 11 mos ago. I was sooo miserable (and since then, their entire program has imploded--but I digress). In the last 11 months, I had another contract position completely fall apart (huge loss of income for me) and i"m now making 20% of what i was making 1 year ago. Thru the process, I've whined, cried, beat myself up (i.e., like, WHO leaves a 6 figure income during a pandemic??)...I've prayed, exercised, shopped at Dollar Tree ..and kept looking for work. But during the whole process, I've changed. I'm better for all of this. I'm more rested. I'm playing the piano again. and I'm convinced that I will NEVER go back to what I had, or that type of work or grind. So yes....it's ok to quit your job. If you can cut wayyyyyyyy back financially and still make it...and you've got some health insurance in your back pocket (?)--and you're prepared to learn alot about YOURSELF in the waiting, then I say GO FOR IT. The last 11 mos of my life have been bumpy but I've also learned a ton about myself, my values/integrity, and about life in Corporate America (and what I want/need to be happy). It isn't always about the money. Good luck!

25. Sharon FinleyMarch 15,2022 at 1:53PM UTC

    I am in a toxic environment also. ? I just have to put in my time and try to ignore the harassment.

26. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 2:10PM UTC

    Congratulations on healing and perseverance.

27. MaureenMarch 15,2022 at 3:27PM UTC

    I agree with you "Anonymous" I did the same thing. If not now, when? A toxic work environment will start to spill into all parts of your life. This will not be the last job or the last chapter in your life. It is just another chapter, try to make it a happier one. You deserve it. Good luck !!!

28. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 1:59PM UTC

    Hello, sorry you have to deal with this.
    Toxic work places are hard to fully function in . Your health specifically your mental health might be suffering . I’ve been there and its not the best. My last job was toxic . It was preferable that one worked over the 40 hours being a salaried employee . Another aspect was managing a team, but there was no managerial title nor perks. I dealt with this for a few years in addition to verbally abusive coworkers. After nearly having a breakdown, I contacted an employment lawyer and rid myself of that job and received my severance pay. Now i am working on a Master’s degree and have the mental freedom to choose my timeline to return to work. I have had other toxic jobs in the past but left without a back up plan which didn’t give me the financial freedom I needed to heal. If you can stick it out in order to find alternative solutions ( temp jobs or an employment lawyer), please do so . However, if you’re suffering and your are financially ok , then please leave your job, its not worthwhile to sacrifice your health. Life is short. Good luck with your choices.

29. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 1:59PM UTC

    If you can, take some time off to make a plan. If you can't take time off block time in your calendar the same way you would for a meeting(s). The meeting(s) is you making your plan and working on executing it.

30. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 2:12PM UTC

    I am at an organization that is not toxic, but not where my purpose lies. I have considered quitting, now that I have an idea where I want to be and want to spend all of my energy getting there. I decided though that I will stay in this role while I pursue careers aligned with my purpose.

    In the past I have left roles without a plan and had no idea what I was working towards. I absolutely think you should not have to suffer and be able to put your energy towards your growth. I would just encourage you to know what you are working towards.

    I would leave a job, then not know where I was going next and end up in a similar position. Only to yet again not want to be there. My heart was not in the work, and I so desperately wanted to find the work I was meant to be doing.

    Now that I know, I feel more comfortable staying in my current role, and would rather not deplete my savings. I also understand our situations are not entirely the same, and if you need to go, then make that decision and then work on your next move.

    Takeaways: If you know what you are working towards and can establish a plan to get there, moving on may be the right move for you!

    I know this is not easy, but I am sending positivity your way in hopes that soon you are living your dream.

31. Anjali MathaiMarch 15,2022 at 2:36PM UTC

    The ultimate decision as to whether or not to leave your job is up to you, as you have several factors to consider, including your current financial situation. There are no timelines when it comes to getting a job... so if you're going to quit, just be sure that you have a means of support.

    With that being said, I would never sacrifice my mental or physical health for a job that is toxic. My job was toxic and I left, without having another job lined up. Thankfully, I was blessed to be able to have support, but I know for sure that if I had stayed, irreparable damage would have be caused, as it pertained to my health. In addition, it would have taken a while to come back from the person that I would have turned into and I no doubt, would have damaged meaningful relationships in the meantime.

    As a human being, we have a right to not be/work in a toxic environment.

    Hope this was helpful.

32. ReachingGoalsMarch 15,2022 at 3:12PM UTC

    Yes it is okay. I did it. After I turned 50 and realized that my age could cause a huge problem. I temped with an agency (or three) after I took a few days to recover from bad office environment. Although my family told me the change in me was immediately apparent in less than 24 hours when I knew I didn’t have to go back “there” anymore. I will say that once I started looking seriously, it took about 6 months to find a job. I was a bit picky on what I applied for. But I went to a state agency and NOTHING moves fast in the government.

33. EMILY KIKUE FRANKMarch 15,2022 at 3:33PM UTC

    It's okay to quit a job without having another lined up, IF you can afford to do so. I often encourage my clients who are in toxic settings to leave, explore gig jobs (https://sidehusl.com/ has good info), and heal from the bad experiences. You will want to be pretty proactive when you have the headspace to look, though.

34. Stephanie LekowskiMarch 15,2022 at 3:36PM UTC

    It's tough but I would try to hang in there. I wouldn't take a chance that employers would see a gap and unless you have a REALLY good explanation as to why, they'd take a pass. Think of it this way- if you were an employer, wouldn't you wonder if someone is going to have to leave or doesn't stick with things to try to make them work? If you really can't stand it quit, but not to make time for a job search. You need to find a way to fit it in, and yes it might take longer than you'd like, but at least you're paying your bills, rent, etc.

35. Sabrina CortesMarch 15,2022 at 3:56PM UTC

    As someone else said, sure, you can leave IF you can afford it. When I was looking for work, I knew what kind of job I wanted and didn't apply to every job in that industry (Copywriting). But, I knew what topics I was interested in writing about and stuck to it. So, you might want to write some things down about the pros and cons of your job - including salary, but also what kind of environment you'd like to have in your next job. (After all, you're interviewing them, just as much as they are interviewing you).

    An employment gap of up to 12 months is reasonable and acceptable. However, if they are longer than that, I'd write a resume that focuses on your skills and minimize that time. This is according to current resume writing standards.

    I hope this helped.

36. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 4:31PM UTC

    I am not sure what state you are located in but there are "right to work" states where either of you can quit or terminate your employment. There is no obligation to a toxic employer, except to report the toxicity to HR.

    Take courses to enhance your skillset; list these courses in your gap on your resume. LinkedIn has many different courses that you can make a full-time effort while looking for a new position.

    Check out ChameleonResumes.com - she does webinars on how to interview. You can also engage her services for resume writing, coaching, etc.

    Take your blinders off - there is so much out there for you to take advantage of. After the Pandemic, there are many people with gaps in their resume. It's no big deal anymore.

37. EMILY KIKUE FRANKMarch 15,2022 at 7:20PM UTC

    At-will employment is, alas, more the norm than not these days. Here's more info: https://www.paycor.com/resource-center/articles/employment-at-will-laws-by-state/

38. AnonymousMarch 15,2022 at 5:10PM UTC

    If you can afford to leave before having another job , I would advise to have at least a year of salary on hand , second do you think it will help to be unemployed to find that new job? That might matter and it might matter if a certain amount of time has passed

    i honestly don’t know if you being employed matters or not I have personally known people who have quit and found a new job within two weeks , and some who it took months , so it all comes down to what you feel you can do deal with and how confident you are in your ability to get a new job quickly

    good luck I understand how you feel I too am in a bad environment, it can be a struggle but also a struggle to know how to handle it , for myself I can’t afford to be without insurance

39. colleenMarch 15,2022 at 7:49PM UTC

    I am kind of in the same boat. After 16 years I left my job because it wasn't a good fit for me anymore. I thought it would be easier to find a job. but boy was I wrong. Here I am 8 months later still looking. With only a few phone screenings. It is frustrating

40. Vanda LeeMarch 15,2022 at 9:34PM UTC

    Just tell them that you took some time off for a personal break or family time etc…not a lot of detail should be shared or required. Lots of people are doing it so it’s not uncommon. I would document it on your resume as personal development- sabbatical or whatever so it’s accounted for…but you don’t have to look at it as a negative.

41. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 5:24AM UTC

    Yes do it immediately if it will benefit your mental health and personal happiness but make sure you can afford to go a full year unemployed if necessary . My last work environment was so toxic that it was making me lose weight and experience other health challenges.. I left that job a couple of years ago at the beginning of “the great resignation “ phase, with no job lined up and it was the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I’m now happily employed in a more positive environment, where I feel respected and appreciated, with a significantly higher salary. Best luck to you!

42. AnonymousMarch 16,2022 at 2:27PM UTC

    Hi..I was in a toxic work environment up until 1 month ago.

    It took me 10 months to finally land something that was aligned with what I wanted and needed and expected from a company.

    I was in the same boat as you. I would be exhausted and found it hard to stay focus on my search.

    But when I finally got the job I didn't even provide the toxic place with 2weeks notice. I did quit. I had to leave because they caused me so many health issues that honestly they didn't deserve one more opportunity to beat up on me.

    Good luck! And know something is out there for you.

43. Holly BenningfieldMarch 18,2022 at 12:52PM UTC

    Go ahead and get out! Take time off, if you can afford it, otherwise there is no shame in accepting a lesser job to pay the bills while you look! I stayed in a toxic environment far too long and it took years to recover.

44. Bradford McCormickMarch 20,2022 at 5:44AM UTC

    First thought: Do you have to explain the gap If it is during one calendar year and you get another position in the same year, can't your resume skip naming months? Perhaps even more important: do you have any achievements that would show a new employer you might be of value to them? I am not a hiring officer, but wouldn't saying the following be more important than a hole in your time line: "Here is what I did for company X. I want to make more similar accomplishments for you."

45. Jill HolthausMarch 21,2022 at 12:36PM UTC

    I’ve taken time to care for my family during COVID-19. Although I have not had an offer I have been explaining my absence from working with this explanation.

46. AnonymousMarch 25,2022 at 3:47PM UTC

    I am the CEO of a business. You should always continue working while searching for another job. In addition, your getting paid to do a job, so continue doing a really good job. Moreover, during the interview only highlight the positive about your current job. And when asked about a good experience and bad experience and how did you handle it all just tell the truth about both while following up with something positive after the bad experience.