I have been working in a new position for the past year and the job itself is fine, so are my coworkers but unfortunately we are dealing with one of the most toxic bosses you have ever seen.

17 Comments

1. Paulla Fetzek, MSEdMay 16,2023 at 1:14PM UTC

   I'm sorry you're in this situation. It may be she has ties with someone higher up. It may be that there's a skill she has which is badly needed. Or it may be that Compliance and HR have taken your complaints to task and are watching her to see what she does. In the meantime, continue to do what you're doing and document as much as you can.

2. cliffMay 19,2023 at 12:30PM UTC

   send complaints to board of directors or president of the company...keep copies of all e-mails, note any harassment with detailed notes...do not keep notes at work...note what was said, time, date, witnesses. watch if she papers your performance reviews with undocumented negative comments. any unproven negative reviews is illegal. Check your personnel file every 3 months...ask for a copy....she will illegally "set you up yo fail" which is also illegal

3. AnonymousMay 17,2023 at 9:08PM UTC

   Paulla said what I would say, but I want to add on. Since you used the pronoun "she," being female puts her into a protected class, mostly meaning that to avoid any legal backlash for terminating her, they would have to document that termination was "for cause." This is something that takes time and kills hundreds of trees with documentation. If she is over 40, that puts her in two protected classes. The more she can point to a race, gender, age, sexual orientation, or identity as her reason for termination, the harder it becomes. Document, continue complaining, and be patient as long as your mental health allows.

4. Karla HostetlerMay 19,2023 at 12:25PM UTC

   I would first ask what the health of the business/department is and what responsibility this boss may be shouldering that the rest of her team isn't. Maybe she would love to have time for a life if she wasn't having to hold things together for people who don't share the same level of accountability to company survival.

5. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 1:19PM UTC

   Sounds like she should be looking for a new position herself. Once you start being a jerk to everyone around you, even if it is due to the stress of your job, it’s a sign your mental health is suffering, and time to move on!

6. Karla HostetlerMay 19,2023 at 10:04PM UTC

   Better yet find a way to inspire or replace those who aren't contributing. This is all conjecture as we don' t know the particulars. Obviously a dysfunctional situation. Just a suggestion that gaining understanding of what she is trying to achieve and what she sees as the obstacles and then becoming her ally in that might prove transformative.

7. Travis KorbeMay 19,2023 at 12:27PM UTC

   Look up EEOC If you've array contacted HR a few times and they still have done nothing to help you you brought this to the boss's above her and they have done nothing not even talking to her then I will take it up with the EEOC and report what is happened they're the federal government of business and corporations to make sure everybody is treated the same while you are employee and going through the EEOC if it's more than one co-worker doing these reports it can turn into a class action lawsuit you have to press charges and sue the company and you can do this while you are still working there and keep your job working there they can't fire you for exercising your civil rights because they are not going to help you with your civil rights if you have to go buy the law and get a lawyer or contact the government and if they're worried about that then there must be doing something wrong to as well if they're not worried about it okay but they can't let you go they can't fire you and they can't take your job away from you if they did you just have a bigger case on your hands going for probably millions instead of hundreds of thousands

8. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 5:35PM UTC

   The EEOC doesn't get involved because your boss is mean to you. There has to be a violation of law - discrimination, retaliation, etc. Now, POSSIBLY there could be a case for hostile work environment, but that would be a civil matter, and you'd need an employment attorney who specializes in employee side law/cases.

9. cliffMay 19,2023 at 12:44PM UTC

   this good be the root of the situation:https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-narcissistic-personality-disorder-2795446

10. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 12:49PM UTC

    I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I have a weirdly similar situation where my boss is a 'golden child' prized by upper management and promoted beyond her scope and skill level. It's frustrating because she's smart, and manipulated her tech savvy into management, but has zero people skills or management training. She's also so cozied up to the directors that it is exhausting. Even though I believed this was going to be a long term job, I have started looking again because I have begun to feel as though this person will never leave, and keep being promoted. It's terrible how one person can ruin an environment for so many people.

11. Corey MartinMay 19,2023 at 1:18PM UTC

    If you find a solution, sign me up

12. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 2:45PM UTC

    Trust me being in Corporate America, I had to learn the hard way. There are so many many managers that shouldn't be in management and are because they accept the role to make more money. I love being a manager. I make it a point to find out what they like and dislike, discuss career goals, get my team out of the office to give them a breather and brainstorm. For example, I arranged for my team to have a private tour of Philly, have lunch at a cute cafe and presented them each with a $25 visa gift card, as a thank you for theird hard work. They could not thank me enough. That made productive go up, which helped me

13. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 6:23PM UTC

    I am in a similar situation. I have been with my job for 5 years. One of the locations closed, and the employees at that location moved to the location we are at now. My boss is great - his wife is another story. I am sure she doesn’t care for me- it seems I am somewhat of a scapegoat. I love everyone I work with, and I enjoy the job. I really don’t know what to do. I am currently saving any extra for an emergency fund. I do have another part time job that I could most likely make full time, but I would still need to get another part time job to pay the bills.

    Any advice is much appreciated.

14. Audrey KirschMay 19,2023 at 6:49PM UTC

    Does no one stand up to her, ever? It needs to be made clear to her that she is the problem. Just a simple assertion that she cannot talk to you or treat you the way she is may work wonders. Or, a group of you can request a meeting with her to discuss work. Then you can express how her behavior is negatively affecting the entire team and the company's bottom line. Ya'll need to set some boundaries to what you will tolerate. She may be clueless to her behavior and explain where she's coming from or she may distance herself from all of you. Either way, it should improve how you feel about the situation.

15. AnonymousMay 19,2023 at 9:42PM UTC

    Depending on what state you are in, it may not be so easy to terminate someone. There may be a current contact in play. Companies do not want to get in to expensive litigation or bad PR situations. If you are in a 'right-to-work' state, It is much more simple. A person can be fired at the will or wish of the employer - no cause necessary. Do some research on her - maybe she owns a lot of stock in the company, is related to someone on the Board of Directors or owners. If that's happens to be the case, you will just have to 'buck up'!

16. AnonymousMay 30,2023 at 10:58PM UTC

    Executives always protect managers and supervisors. HR always protects supervisors and managers. This is the law of the corporate world. Executives love managers and supervisors because those positions keep the employees in line and do the executives dirty work for them. It's easier to replace a disgruntled employee with one who will toe the line. It's more difficult to replace a manager or supervisor. Unless you are making actual money for the company - instead of being a liability on the accounting spreadsheet (most employees cost a company more than they are bringing in to the profits) than unfortunately you just don't matter, how you feel doesn't matter. The sooner we all understand this, the sooner we can stop expecting companies to be fair, to care - they don't. If a boss is toxic, best to move on, or accept the situation.

17. Afo Ogbeyalu KaluJune 12,2023 at 12:12PM UTC

    Oftentimes, it is difficult to "get rid of" a problematic employee due to inadequate documentation of the violations or abuses, and also due to the complainant not phrasing the offenses in actionable language. I suggest that you/your colleagues begin to document thoughtfully, with your employee handbook as your guide.