Midlife crisis,tired or just getting lazy?

36 Comments

1. HeyyyFebruary 23,2023 at 1:08PM UTC

   Sounds like this position isn't challenging /engaging enough for you. And maybe remote work would be better. It's hard to say without more background/context.

2. AnonymousFebruary 23,2023 at 1:33PM UTC

   It's a valid feeling! You sound bored/not challenged. A long commute should (ideally) be a trade-off for a job that you actually enjoy. I'm glad you work with some nice people but keep looking. THAT is not selfish (nor are you lazy!).

3. AnonymousFebruary 23,2023 at 1:36PM UTC

   I think a more holistic approach to your life is what you need.

   I've found that since I've gotten older I need everything in my life to support me as a whole. I need a everything to flow together.

   By this I mean my work must be flexible so it accommodates my life, hobbies, relationships and interests.

   That means, a long commute gets in the way of my NBA season tickets and wine tasting evenings, cooking classes and date nights, etc.

   Working a hybrid schedule grants me time during the day to work in chores like laundry and grocery shopping during my days.

   Working early means I can manage mid-day hikes on the local trails with my dogs, etc.

   When I accommodate my life organically, my work gets done with joy and pride. I love my job because I can weave it into my life. It helps to fuel the other areas in my world. If my job begins to intrude then I make adjustments or find a new job.

   I was deliberate in my search for my positions over the past couple of decades so that I can move with and not against the flow. I approach my life as a whole so I can be successful as a whole person. Balance and a conscious and deliberate approach I've found is best. It's taken me years to gain that but it's worth the time and effort to keep tweaking and evolving to truly define your whole life.

4. AnonymousFebruary 23,2023 at 3:46PM UTC

   You're right and I think it's holistic.Theres no flexibility,the commute is two hours a day and draining.Weekends are for doing everything I didn't have the energy to do during the week.As much as I like the people I need to make a change and be strategic with my search

5. Balanced372207February 24,2023 at 1:53PM UTC

   Absolutely, if one can pull it off. Not everyone can.

6. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 2:08AM UTC

   The alternative is to accept the imbalance abd burnout which in turn leaves you in a mental health nightmare. You should never stop trying abd looking for more relief.

7. AnonymousFebruary 24,2023 at 2:10PM UTC

   This!! This is what I’m striving for- in my 50s and not willing to let work throw my life off balance

8. AnonymousFebruary 25,2023 at 10:53PM UTC

   SO MUCH THIS. I am really struggling with the return to office because it has thrown off my work/life balance and I am definitely in the work to live not live to work phase of my life. I appreciate your perspective.

9. AnonymousFebruary 23,2023 at 2:36PM UTC

   It took me sometime to adjust to my current role. I was in more fast paced but smaller organizations earlier, and I felt out of place and lack of energy to cope with the huge ecosystem.

   However once I crossed the 5th or 6th month, I could see I was in a more secure place and had adjusted to the system.

   Not saying it is the same for you, possible the role is not challenging enough, or the environment is not conducive. It's not laziness at all! Finding ourselves and our comfort zone takes time

10. AnonymousFebruary 23,2023 at 3:43PM UTC

    As I'm reading and thinking about why I've been feeling this way.I need to make a change. The commute is lengthy and draining.The job is tedious because the system is older.There's not that much flexibility and I don't have the option to work from home because the processes are older.At the moment I'm moving like a zombie lol

11. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 5:47PM UTC

    What's one step you can take today toward making a change? Just one. And, it can be a baby step.

12. Cindy GrossFebruary 23,2023 at 4:20PM UTC

    As we get older we learn more about what we really like. What we used to like, do, and be good at may not serve us well in the present and future. You need to figure out what you really want, even if that is very different from what you've done in the past. Then you tease out the transferable skills and experience. Then you claim what you want. #BefriendingDragons

13. BethBFebruary 23,2023 at 5:16PM UTC

    The grass that seems greener rarely is

14. AnonymousFebruary 25,2023 at 10:28PM UTC

    I feel this in my soul. The return to office has sunk me into a depression. I loathe my commute, and being in a depressing building with florescent lights and few people that I connect with is hard. What's more, my job doesn't touch my real abilities and I will never fulfill my potential there. The conclusion I have come to is if I am miserable I should find a job that pays far better, and since I doubt I will ever find a job that aligns with my ideals and true talents, I have to pursue them on my own. Best of luck on your journey.

15. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 1:23PM UTC

    I'd suggest keeping your job alerts on for what you want, taking another look at your LinkedIn profile, and clicking the open to work feature that's only available to recruiters. Honestly, my last few roles were from people reaching out on LI.

16. Sandra WarrenFebruary 26,2023 at 1:34PM UTC

    Follow your soul journey and listen to your body. Your wellness depends on it. Work on the mindset and open your request to the Universe.

17. Erica MitchellFebruary 26,2023 at 1:39PM UTC

    Keep looking. The right job for you will come along.

18. GirlBossanova934974February 26,2023 at 1:51PM UTC

    If possible, you may wish to look into mass transit. I always hated driving into the office. Mass transit was such a relief. No more fighting traffic for miles. Just watch the cars sitting in virtual parking lots as the subway soared by at 70 mph. Got all sorts of work done on the way.....Had a nice cup of coffee etc.

19. Brandie DessauerFebruary 26,2023 at 3:35PM UTC

    Sounds amazing. Not all cities have that kind of transit. I live in Houston and there is zero mass transit that would get me to my office, 30 minutes away.

20. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 2:05PM UTC

    I’m going through the same thing. I’m six months into a new position that pays great, offers amazing work/life balance, but the stress has affected my mental health. I just had a week off and spent the last half depressed and crying.

    I have an hour commute which is ok in good weather. I love podcasts etc. I just wish I could adapt like I did in my younger years.

    Ive tried applying for other jobs that are outside of what I’ve been doing for almost 20 years and it’s hard to find it.

21. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 2:24PM UTC

    You sound totally burn out on the job search process... I sense that the way you are feeling has much more to do with burn out than the Actual job that you have right now... Take a deep breath and start investing in yourself, and things that you enjoy and rest and get out of your head a little bit.. The world of work is very difficult right now for so many of us who have lost jobs reapplied got rehired and had to start over and over again. It's no longer a novelty. Just sit tight for a while and Take A breather mentally . I remember having a job that I hated So badly that I would sit in my car And cry almost every morning. One day it dawned on me that it was not my forever job but I could certainly learn something new every day to build my network and my resume. That changed my complete mindset and I ended up staying there for 4 years.. No it wasn't the happiest job I ever had but I did learn a ton and just taking that mindset that I was going to make the best of it and learn what I could change my entire outlook

22. Rhonda RoyalFebruary 26,2023 at 2:30PM UTC

    Salutations to all, sometimes (especially as we age)we tend to want working conditions to be more comfortable/convenient to us and usually they aren’t. Young worker or older worker, we want favorable conditions all around. Try looking for something else, making certain that you know you may not get 100% of want you really want. Good Luck!

23. AyianFebruary 26,2023 at 2:35PM UTC

    Having an emerging realization that your time is worth a lot more to you than the salary pays based on the commute is none of the things you listed. Yes, there is something out there for you, but you'll likely never find it if you settle. You have a job now, so keep that one while you search without compromise.

24. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 3:29PM UTC

    You are not alone! I feel the same way however I have been on my job for two years. I feel I just settled and I didn't go for an opportunity that matches my talent.

    You do sound burned out. Remember you always have to do what is best for you not the company.

25. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 5:07PM UTC

    I feel this post (except for the commute). I started taking a class in community college, something I don't have experience in, but was interested in. I already have a BA. Anyway, the class has given me the courage to finally say that I am ready for another job. I was in a very stressed out environment for three years, I was fired, and I found a new job within two months. the job was beneath my skill set, but it has given the time I need to reflect on where I want to go in the next decade. Taking the class has reallyproven to me that I have more to offer than I was ever given credit for.

    I guess what I am trying to say is - if you can do it, figure out how to take time for yourself to find what you want to do.

26. Cat67February 26,2023 at 7:24PM UTC

    I think we are the same person. I have an hour commute each way and I am middle age. Can't retire. Can't find another job. Too qualified or underqualified. So tired of looking and applying for jobs. I get some interviews to be turned down. There are no jobs in my immediate area. All the remote jobs get snatched up by others. Just over it all.

27. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 11:28PM UTC

    so sad. thanks for sharing. I feel this too.

28. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 7:52PM UTC

    Omg this is me! I’m trying to be appreciative as I know others may want an opportunity & salary like this. However, I don’t like the California style open office - no personal space. Loud conversations on calls and video chats. I’m with you, where is the opportunity that just feels right.

29. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 10:09PM UTC

    Open offices are insane... no privacy at all! Non-sensical chatter all day as people try to impress everyone with how exciting their weekend was... Not to mention if one person gets sick, everyone is done. I'm a die hard introvert and would choose homelessness over this job any day of the week! It's impossible to be left alone and get any work done in a office setup like this. Too much interpersonal b.s on full display... Remote only for me going forward!

30. Maegan, Nike Sales Rep & Career CoachFebruary 26,2023 at 8:29PM UTC

    Hey anonymous, it sounds like you may have accepted a role that wasnt as challenging as you hoped it would be. Something you can do in the meantime is look for an opportunity that you would absolutely love, and start working to build your accomplishments & develop those skills in your role now so you can stand out when you go for the opportunity you really want! That can help you stay motivated to work and challenged.

31. anon1347February 26,2023 at 10:24PM UTC

    I feel the exact same way. I struggled with a job I had better balance, lower pay, and wasn’t challenged. So I took a job with better pay, longer commute, and much more of a challenge. But now I think it’s too much, giving up the work/life balance. Why can’t I just find the challenging bin with balance. It’s an eternal struggle.

32. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 10:25PM UTC

    A commute can often if long or tedious be the reason many people leave. Where I live commutes can be up to an hour in one direction and with a traffic jam or accident can be often 2 hours each way. If you drive maybe find a carpool, or if you are on a train or bus maybe take up knitting or read to pass the time or take an online class where you might pump up some skills for your next career adventure. Additionally, you might just need a sabbatical, or trip away. If you can take the time and afford it perhaps find something that satisfies your need for stimulation and learning and get away to clear your head and find your purpose. No one says you have to stay in the same field or place for your whole career, seek out what excites you and try something different.

33. AnonymousFebruary 26,2023 at 10:45PM UTC

    I totally feel you on this, I’m in the same situation, I work remotely ,and as a result we spend an insane amount of time on just having meetings, never mind that you still have to meet yoir

    deliberanles after all the meetings, sometime I just want to pull my hair out.

    It’s turned out to not be what I expected it was going to be, so all I’m doing now is improving myself in anticipation of my next move, to take my mind of how I feel about my current job.

    Find other things you can do to take your mind off the pains of your current job and keep looking.

    All the best

34. AnonymousFebruary 27,2023 at 6:35PM UTC

    Thank you for sharing this! I can totally relate. I think I wanted my job to be this thing I was really passionate about and I have just learned over time, that's not where I'm at. More of my time is dedicated to my family or my mental health and good work/life balance.

35. AnonymousMarch 1,2023 at 9:08AM UTC

    Agree with you, that's how I have been feeling.

36. AnonymousMarch 2,2023 at 11:43PM UTC

    Not sure how old you are that you consider this to be a midlife crisis, but it may be a case of either being burnt out in your current career path, coupled with being in an environment that's not a good fit. I can relate, as I've had several career changes and worked at a number of places, and the ones that were a good fit did help me to flourish, although I'd hit a wall after a few years (my longest position lasted about close to 4 1/2 years). I seem to have found a good place now, and i'm now coming up on my second year (I started as a contract worker, then was hired permanently 9 months later). Knowing what I know from previous experience, along with being decently paid, working hybrid, and my benefits, I will make every effort to stay on as long as I can, God willing. Too bad it took me several decades to come to this realization!