I’ve been given feedback that I’m too transactional in meetings.

Anonymous

April 7,2022 at 11:05AM UTC

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I’ve been given feedback that I’m too transactional in meetings. I agree it’s true, this is just how I am naturally, I like structure and order and get annoyed when we go too far off topic. With that said, I’d like to learn how to be more transformational and “sell” my ideas and inspire others. Any good books on this topic anyone can recommend or tips? TIA

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ValerieApril 7,2022 at 12:22PM UTC
Great question! We all have our preferred styles or communicating, so it sounds like yours is more direct and possibly your colleagues would prefer more interpersonal interaction. This is a common dilemma. As far as books, I don't have any in particular, but you might want to investigate DISC - it's a method of how we interact with each other, tells you your type, and gives you tips on how to deal with others. There may be a free version online, but my team did it together so we could work better together. We all found it useful. But beware - your DISC can change over time, so don't let it "Define" you into infinity (and beyond ;). It's a guide only. Good Luck!
AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 12:25PM UTC
Thanks ?
ValerieApril 11,2022 at 11:56AM UTC
https://www.discprofile.com/what-is-disc
AnonymousApril 29,2022 at 3:13PM UTC
Thanks
Jacquelynn LucasApril 7,2022 at 12:37PM UTC
I too have this communication style of being direct. A previous company did have us take the DISC assessment as Valerie suggested and it was no surprise to me what my personality traits were, but what was enlightening about it is that it gave tips on how to interact with other personalities (i.e. those that love the details vs those that prefer the ending). It does take practice and effort, but hopefully over time it will become more natural. Influencing others tends to be a person dependent skill, so you may have to curtail your approach dependent on who you are speaking to.
Mhairi DunnApril 7,2022 at 12:47PM UTC
Im direct and had previously had similar feedback. Don't feel you should change this entirely, meetings & teams need structure and actions! However I found it useful for myself to almost make "tasks" for myself to be more personable. I'm my own agenda if leading a meeting I make a point of checking in with everyone (they don't need to know I am having to remind myself to do this!). I try and see style now as another business task - I need to build that rapport with the team in order to influence.
AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 12:53PM UTC
Love this idea, this is something I can implement. Thanks!
AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 1:55PM UTC
I shared this article link before reading your post. I am the same way:
https://conflictmanagement.org.uiowa.edu/sites/conflictmanagement.org.uiowa.edu/files/2020-01/Direct%20and%20Indirect%20Communication.pdf
AngieApril 7,2022 at 1:01PM UTC
Interesting....I have heard the same.
It's good to be clear in your communication. As far as selling your ideas....
1) Personalize the selling points by pointing out how and where it will benefit fellow coworkers.
2) Develop a list of current issues or process failures.
3) Match your idea to each issue.
4) Discuss your idea/resolution.
Maybe send out in form of a PowerPoint deck prior to the meeting. Let the meeting facilitator know you would like to add this to the meeting agenda.
AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 1:54PM UTC
Let me guess -- you're a woman working in the "nice" midwest?
This article was an eye-opener for me. I absolutely hate working in the midwest because of the culture compared to the East coast. "Forget the committee's agenda. Let's talk about my kid's camping trip...."
https://conflictmanagement.org.uiowa.edu/sites/conflictmanagement.org.uiowa.edu/files/2020-01/Direct%20and%20Indirect%20Communication.pdf
AnonymousApril 9,2022 at 1:05AM UTC
Funny it’s actually people in the UK!
AnonymousApril 7,2022 at 2:07PM UTC
How are you enrolling others?
Sounds like it's more tell-assertive rather than inviting. When presenting are you asking engaging questions as you go? reading the body language and facial expressions of others in the room?
A few things come to mind:
-Stay curious. Ask questions that get people thinking WIIFM (what's in it for me).
-People process information differently. Not all of it is linear. Allowing the "off topic" conversation to happen can help others buy in to the ideas you share.
Letting go of getting to the finish line and focusing on HOW you get there may get you a better result in the long run.