How do I get out of a team retreat?

Anonymous

April 18,2022 at 6:47PM UTC

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How do I get out of a team retreat? I've been working at a startup for past six months. Unfortunately, it's very toxic and I'm already job hunting again. Among other things, they did not disclose that there would be events and travel (to other countries) and now because I am part of the management team I am expected to go and will be presenting etc. I have childcare issues as my husband works hybrid in the city and will be gone for 3 days-traveling internationally. I didn't really even have a chance to discuss with my managers-one day the assistant reached out and said they had to book airfare or would loose the rates. I really don't want to attend/leave my family or team bond with people I don't plan on working with in the future. Any advice for an exhausted mamma? Thank you.

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Jesika BabylonApril 18,2022 at 6:58PM UTC
In this market, you are probably okay with telling them it wasn't part of what you signed on for and you are unable to make it especially given the short notice. Do you have a cushion if they get shirty and fire you? Depending on your outlook, that might also be grounds for unlawful termination, but I'm not sure what laws they are playing by. Good luck, stick to your guns!
AnonymousApril 18,2022 at 8:38PM UTC
Thanks so much for that feedback, that is helpful. I'm definitely being bullied into a lot, not to mention scope creep, and had to plan and attend an event (also not in job description) recently.
JYJApril 21,2022 at 1:54PM UTC
I am so sorry you're going through this. Super stressful! You've got some good advice here. Stand your ground. It's a great market out there to be looking.
AnonymousApril 18,2022 at 9:32PM UTC
FYI- most start-ups are toxic!
I have yet to work for one yet that didn't have some type of HR issue. They tend to veer off the beaten path.
Twannetta WeaverApril 21,2022 at 12:42PM UTC
Tell them you can’t afford to go due to child care. End of story. I’m sure they are not going to pay for it so there’s your reasonable situation to get out of it. I don’t like work related travel that much unless I’m doing it for my own small business.
AnonymousApril 21,2022 at 4:20PM UTC
Just say you are unable to travel internationally at this time.
AnonymousApril 21,2022 at 4:29PM UTC
Just say no. You are more than happy to Zoom in for your presentation but you are unable to travel. I wouldn’t give them more information than that unless they push. Then offer the childcare issue if they push.