Last week I resigned.

Last week I resigned.

Escaped a bad situation. Managers were involved in enabling a coworker jerk.

I did mention their breach of contract for not maintaining a safe working environment and who was involved and what was said. Most of this was old ground that I had covered with them in the last 6 months.

The 2 managers wanted to meet over Teams to discuss my notice period. I didn’t want to and asked for everything to be put in writing. I offered instead for my manager, the person who assigns me tasks, to be the person to advise on work during notice.

I hear nothing for a week. Then on Tuesday I received an email that I will be given payment in lieu of notice aka PILON.

I am extremely happy for this.

But I noticed that the letter was incredibly bitchy from the original two managers of the department I left.

I was instructed in the letter to hand back equipment 2 working days later.

The account I used on the work laptop was remotely deactivated/locked.

I wiped down the equipment and gave the items back today.

The bitchier manager watched me like a hawk when I was taking my things from my desk drawers.

I have in writing that I am a hard worker and a valued member of the team, and yet he made it feel as if I were being fired.

I said I would see myself out. Said bye to the one person who was neutral. The rest of my now former (and really nice) sub team weren’t in. And then I left.

I think this was a power play. I got out before they could hurt my career. They couldn’t do the “nice guy” bull crap act they always put on because I refused and gave a reasonable alternative. Then they put me on effectively paid leave. And treat me like a criminal when I give back the equipment.

My question is, have you ever been treated like a criminal even though you were a good employee?

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34 Comments

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  1. Anonymous

    I didn't feel my similar treatment was like a criminal at all. I saw it as sour grapes. They took a stand to save face. It had nothing to do with me and they knew I knew this so they stood there in a posture.

    I smiled and said good bye and held out my hand to shake hands. They both turned red and looked around flustered and one shook my hand and didn'look me in the eye and the other walked past me and held the door open. It was ridiculous but very satisfying.

  2. Anonymous

    You did right! They probably expected you to freak out or something. You totally killed them with kindness and they were clueless.

    Glad you got to put that place behind you. Karma will get them!!!

  3. Anonymous

    Yes. Very much so. It sucks. Your post resonated with me so much. Good luck on you future endeavors! ?

  4. Anonymous

    When I worked at a horrible place (that first loved my success there), the coworker wanted his GF so they demoted me.

    I found something else and gave my notice.

    2w.

    5 minutes later, JR said to pack my stuff because they don't accept notices-- they were unprofessional (???!!!)

    They said because I was decent, I wouldn't have the police escort out.

    WTH???

    Turned out 3m later, they changed their name because the reputation was horrible.

  5. Anonymous

    *HR

  6. Anonymous

    Wow, that was s*** of them. Legally you did what you were supposed to do. The rest as I see it is them fronting.

  7. Regina Brown

    You know what, Honey? THE TRUTH HURTS!! One of the hardest things in the world is to admit that the behavior you have been displaying (that you know is shameful) has being brought to someone else's attention and that is the "truth" that these coworkers have to face. So to make themselves unaccountable, why not blame the person that called them out? They've most likely been allowed to get away with this type of behavior for a long time.

    At the end of the day: "God don't like ugly and Karma is a beeeeeeeyotch"!!!! Go home, pour a glass of wine, sleep well, because tomorrow is another day and you will be there to enjoy it!!

  8. Monica

    Oh yes! The women I worked with didn't like me (didn't know them). They messed with my work when I went to lunch and then said I did it wrong. They were like this will be your last day. I said no thank you, I will leave now and walked out. Had only been there about two weeks.

  9. Anonymous

    Original poster here. I noticed the day I was handing in the computer equipment, the bitchier manager was in a meeting with the CFO and the Director/Entrepreneur whose idea the business was.

    They have big glass windows internally and you can see into the office.

    They seemed to be questioning him.

    I think that by mentioning all the stuff including his manner with me during the harassment investigation in my resignation letter, as much as he seemed to talk about it as if it were funny and something to shake off, there were real consequences for him.

    And that could explain the bitchy letter 2 days prior, playing it off as if it were my attitude and notifying me of the PILON.

    I wasn’t the hostile one but I’m glad I at least got to have time off to job hunt and recover from the toxicity.

  10. Anonymous

    Curious. Was this a new/small company? I ask because anyone can be an entrepreneur with some investment, knowing how to grow a successful business is something else entirely. Treating people properly is part of that.

  11. Anonymous

    It was a small-medium sized enterprise.

    I think the entrepreneur who put the business idea together and the CFO who got the infrastructure together want to have a positive reputation.

    It’s just that the managers are immature and they keep hiring people like themselves. Most of whom are immature, and bull*****ers.

  12. Anonymous

    I’m sorry you had to deal with this but it sounds like you did the right thing. I’ve not had this happen to me I witnessed similar tactics in other groups, where the person leaving was treated like a criminal even though they did nothing wrong. People can be so petty and take personal slights as though your resignation was a personal attack. They should have treated you professionally.

  13. Anonymous

    In one job I worked at, whenever a salesperson quit, they weren’t allowed to give notice. They were immediately let go and supervised while they cleaned out their desk. They were then escorted out of the building. The GM was paranoid that they would take company materials and try to steal clients. She treated really nice good workers like criminals. In general, she treated everyone like crap. There was a lot of turnover because she created such a horrible work environment.

    As far as your situation, it sounds like you have documentation. Have you considered talking to a lawyer about suing for a hostile work environment? Some lawyers will work for a percentage of the winnings if they think you have a strong case. Unfortunately, money is usually the only thing that gets companies to change how they behave.

  14. Anonymous

    Here we go again, call an attorney! There’s nothing to litigate here. Do you really think the OP is going to hand over a retainer to an employment attorney because she had a hurt feeling on her way out the door?!?! Be reasonable in your advice. My god FGB, we’re better than this!

  15. Anonymous

    Hi, OP here; I mentioned breach of contract due to unsafe work environment and a hostile work environment.

    I was effectively constructively dismissed due to these.

    I’m keeping my legal strategy under wraps for now.

  16. Anonymous

    Just curious, what did you expect to happen? It sounds like you’ve had a tumultuous relationship with these people for some time. They’ve not treated you well which is unfortunate. Why would you think they’d handle your departure any differently? Did you think they’d throw you a going away party and have a goodbye lunch? You resigned, they gave you PILON, they’ve asked for your equipment and made your last few days uncomfortable. Suffering is a choice. Your thoughts of an idealistic exit isn’t going to happen. Put this to bed and move on.

  17. Cheryl Parsons

    Unfortunately experiences like yours happen frequently. Power play is exactly what this was, protection of manager and company. I'm sorry you had to experience that but I admire and support your actions; remaining true to your standards, staying above the line and moving forward are always good moves.
    Please don't let their actions make you question anything about yourself or your actions.
    Onward to greater things. Continue to stay true to yourself

  18. Anonymous

    I quit my job in the height of the pandemic. I was miserable anyway because the company was horribly run but after the pandemic hit it got really bad.

    The company was losing clients and the owners started freaking out. We were all already overworked (12-16+ hour days that we did not get paid for) and the owners just kept treating us like we were slackers who didn’t do enough. On top of that, there was an account manager who couldn’t keep assistants. The assistants would all quit after a month because she was so abusive. I’m friends with one assistant and the account manager would just tell her that she was stupid and useless and stuff. Full on verbal abuse.

    Every assistant that quit cited this account manager as the reason, but the owners and VP of marketing we’re good friends with her so they didn’t do anything about it. Their solution was to take me away from the clients I had spent over a year forming relationships with and essentially demote me and make me her assistant.

    The account manager knew better than to be abusive to me so she’d act like everything was fine while she made up stuff and bad mouthed me to the VP and owners. She tried to blame her incompetence on me. I got pulled into a call with the two owners (one of whom I’d never met and the other I never even worked with) and the VP (who I worked with on some clients and she’d always had great things to say about me) and they spent the whole call telling me how awful I was. When I tried to defend myself they called me a liar. It was pretty traumatic to have to sit through that call. Even though we were in the height of the pandemic I knew I couldn’t stay there. I stayed on another month so I could use up some vacation time before I left (I’d already requested some days off for my birthday and requested a few more after deciding to quit).

    I was really going to miss my clients (one was my absolute dream client) but I had to go. I had already been told by my doctor that my job wasn’t sustainable with the crazy hours. It had already been causing physical and mental problems.

    I was there for a year and a half, and during the last year, no one who was hired lasted more than three months. No one who was hired after I started is still there. It’s a very toxic place.

    The horrible account manager only lasted a few months after I left. She quit saying it was too stressful. They hadn’t hired another assistant after me and she finally had to do work and couldn’t blame her incompetence on someone else. Honestly, she didn’t even need an assistant. She’d lost so many clients that there was barely any work to do.

    Tbh, I still don’t have a full time job and it’s been over a year of applying but I still think it was the right choice.

  19. Healthcare worker

    I think you need to examine why this exit was surprising to you. It was a contentious relationship that ended in a bad breakup. And yes, when bad relationships end like that the exchange of property does feel uncomfortable and hostile. You refer to these people as the bitchier manager implying that the other manager is bitchy just not the bitchiest. I know you think you were a good employee but from their perspective do you think that is how they see you? Likely not, let it go and move on but also make sure that you recognize the importance of not just performing work functions but also having functional relationships with others.

  20. Elise Axelrad

    Blame the victim?

  21. Anonymous

    Thank you for this straight talk express!!

  22. Anonymous

    OP here: The end to your reply does sound like you’re blaming the target. So here are a few facts for context.

    I was recognised at my performance appraisal for my hard work and being a valued member of the team. I was also praised for being able to handle the promoted role without prior experience.

    As for the “bitchier” thing, yes they were both bitchy. It was part of the culture where managers brushed off awkward things and covered up for one particular coworker’s bad behaviour and their abuse of anonymous complaints, which led to some bad misunderstandings between myself and my male coworkers and a female manager. Despite that, the male coworkers and I got on fine. There were manly tears when I told them I resigned.

    So it’s not a me thing. Definitely not a me thing anymore since I resigned! ?

  23. Quality Queen

    Yes I have. Many good people find themselves in negative, bullying, even hostile situations. Kudos to you for identifying it and getting out. Now it’s time to breathe and embrace the next chapter (hopefully more positive) of your working life. Let this go. Your conscious is clear. Leave the negativity behind you and focus on the better things heading your way. Best of luck!

  24. Anonymous

    This happened to me. Pretty early on on my career actually. I worked for a large, corporate style nonprofit who had been slowly re-assigning my teams’s workload to other people. On a Monday afternoon, a supervisor scheduled one on one meetings with each of us, requesting all of our work documents. They laid us off, took all of our stuff and refused to let us take anything, walked us out in front of everyone. It was humiliating. I also had this happen recently when I stood up for myself with another boss. She tried to get me to resign, so I let her fire me due to a disagreement while we were over the phone. The important thing that Ive learned is that people know that these people aren’t professional. With the first company, it was a well known fact what they did, and people stopped giving to them. The best advice I would have would be to keep your head high and remain professional. They’re the ones who will make fools of themselves.

  25. Renee Radcliff Sinclair

    This is pretty standard when an employee resigns having made substantial claims about the work environment. I wouldn't spend a lot of time fretting about it...it's time to move forward.

  26. Anonymous

    If you mentioned "breach of contract for not maintaining a safe working environment" in your resignation letter, you've basically made a legal threat against the company. The managers were likely doing exactly as instructed from the company lawyers. Best of luck in your new position and hopefully it's one you enjoy more.

  27. Anonymous

    Yes. Just move on from that type of toxicity.

  28. Jen

    Yes...when I was in my early 20's and refused to work weekends. I was escorted out of the building and told to call from across the street for my last paycheck and someone would bring it to me.

    He was mad I refused to sign the resignation letter that HE typed up. ?

  29. Anonymous

    I definitely know better than to say anything negative about a previous employer in an interview. If they ask why I left my previous job I usually word my answer in a way that’s completely true but sounds like I was laid off. I make sure not to lie but I’m vague enough to let them draw their own conclusions ?‍♀️

  30. Anonymous

    Yes

  31. Joanna Poe

    Sadly this is the norm in some industries. Just be glad you're out and don't look back.

  32. Sheila Alsbrooks Platt

    The manager may have watched you so closely due to people in the past causing damage or taking things that didn't belong to them. I have heard of some companies actually having security escort people out of the building, and not allowing employees to empty their own offices (hr staff had to empty the office). Each company is different and it often depends of prior employees' behaviors.

  33. Anonymous

    Don't forget to file for unemployment in this situation. Although you resigned, this was what is called a constructive termination. In effect, they forced you via their bad behavior to resign. They might fight it, and it will take some time, given the situation, but I suspect you'll get paid, and that will be a nice help.

  34. Anonymous

    I had even worse happen. I was asked to sign a resignation letter out of the blue. I told the director I would not sign it (it contained many untruthful things in it) and that I would right my own resignation letter and copy the board of directors on it. I did. I went the next day to pick up all my belongings and the director had changed the locks on the door to the office!! She had most of my stuff piled out on the sidewalk, but I had a lot more personal items inside, so I knocked on the door until she answered. My husband helped me load everything up in our truck. The board was shocked when they got my letter and they sent me flowers, I got phone calls, and was taken out to eat, etc. It was discovered shortly after this, that the director had Alzheimer's. That was a nightmare I'd never want anyone to experience.

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