Update! I got the job but not the counter. Still blessed and feel more confident in my business skills. My husband believes in me and his "pushing" was more of a suggestion/coaching. He's my biggest fan!

40 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 16,2024 at 1:47PM UTC

   If you are satisfied with what's being offered and sure you are not being lowballed, then go for it. You do you.

2. AnonymousJuly 16,2024 at 2:14PM UTC

   Your husband did not receive an offer. You did.

3. Samantha (Erickson) MaddenJuly 16,2024 at 2:33PM UTC

   Always counter. They are not going to not hire you because you're asking for more (money, benefits, etc.). If the organization is worth their salt, they will expect you to counter. And what's the worst that can happen - they say no, and you say thank you and take the job anyway. As long as you phrase it the right way, ask!

4. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 16,2024 at 4:49PM UTC

   PLEASE DON'T GIVE THIS ADVICE TO JOBSEEKERS!

   The worst that can happen is the offer is rescinded. And it happens all the time. Including to people in this community. It happened to someone on here last year - she had the offer for what she felt was her dream job pulled. She was devastated.

   I have seen many jobseekers negotiate themselves right out of a fair offer.

5. KatJuly 16,2024 at 2:54PM UTC

   This is your job, not your husband's. Men tend to think that you have to counter offer to get the best salary/price/deal on things. Which is fine, but you need to do what works for you. If you've done your research and the offer is fair, take the job. It sounds like you'll enjoy it. Good luck!

6. AnonymousJuly 16,2024 at 4:24PM UTC

   I agree 100% with this statement. In a previous role, we made an offer to someone who kept coming back to negotiate. We almost rescinded the offer and should have know that the repeat rounds were a red flag.

7. AnonymousJuly 16,2024 at 6:44PM UTC

   Why on earth would your husband have input into your offer?

8. AnonymousJuly 16,2024 at 7:26PM UTC

   Don't wait too long. Put the details of the counter that your husband is having you make in writing.

9. AnonymousJuly 16,2024 at 8:28PM UTC

   Your husband pushing you to counter-offer, which in this job market will likely backfire on you, tells me you have much bigger problems than being unemployed for six months.

10. AnonymousJuly 16,2024 at 11:27PM UTC

    Congratulations! Unfortunately, ageism is real, and the sketchy job market and interview practices add to it.

    But I would say don't let fear guide your decision-making, I.e., being out of work for six months and your age. Know your worth and the current salary range for that role. Negotiating is okay.

    I'm not sure why your husband is pushing, but there’s the assumption that women are afraid of asking for money or don't know how. Maybe he's coming from a place of guidance—not that you asked for his help, lol!

    But I would argue that unless he sat next to you during every screen call and interview, he doesn't have a feel for how or if you should counter. Use your God-given female intuition. But again, don't make a fear-based decision because you need a job.

    You've got this! Now go buy yourself something pretty!!?

11. AnonymousJuly 16,2024 at 11:41PM UTC

    Congratulations! I hope your husband can help you negotiate a great counter offer. Otherwise the company may keep looking. It's not an employees market.

12. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 17,2024 at 3:52AM UTC

    First off, congratulations on your offer!

    What have your conversation with the recruiter about compensation throughout the interview process looked like?

    What did you tell them you were looking for? How far off from that is the offer?

    Some companies are open to salary negotiations, some present their best and final offer right off the bat.

    I would caution anyone considering countering an offer they've received to proceed with caution. If you have your heart set on countering, consider starting that conversation by asking something along the lines of "do we have any wiggle room here" or "is there any flexibility in this base salary". There is no point countering if they have already extended you their best offer.

    I would also add to proceed with caution - I have seen jobseekers negotiate themselves right out of a fair offer. Anecdotally over a 20 plus year recruiting career, I find this happens to women significantly more than men.

    Good luck and please let us know what happens!

13. Cindy GloverJuly 17,2024 at 12:36PM UTC

    Congratulations!!!

    I would consider requesting a 90 day review- with your experience, I can’t imagine them saying no and if they do, you have your answer (I think) for the counter?

14. anon8616July 17,2024 at 12:51PM UTC

    Don’t listen to your husband on this. He doesn’t have your experience in the field you work. You do. He might mean well, but his meddling could torpedo your options.

15. Jennie MontañoJuly 17,2024 at 1:21PM UTC

    always counter - maybe not for more money but ask for more stock, a signing bonus, additional vacation days or something else of value to you. They will always low ball you and it gives you insights into whether it is a value organization. You do not have to push it hard.

16. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 18,2024 at 2:39AM UTC

    "They will always low ball you"

    THIS IS NOT TRUE. Some companies low ball their candidates (very few in my experience), some have room for negotiation (certainly not the same thing as low balling) and some companies make their best and final offer right off the bat.

    In my 20 plus years of recruiting at all levels, I have found that most hiring managers want to make candidates fair offers - first because it's the right thing to do and second because they don't want to be having to fill the position again in 6 months when the person they underpaid found out and leaves. Underpaying people makes no business sense. At least not in well-run ethical companies.

    Also - as with many, many things in the job search process - the answer many times is "it depends" so please stop giving terrible advice in such absolute terms.

    You say they will always low ball you - have you been a hiring manager? Is that what you did? Is that the culture at the companies you've worked at - to always low ball all jobseekers?

17. AnonymousJuly 18,2024 at 7:42AM UTC

    I always push HR for the best possible starting offer and that's what I offer to my candidates. I've had discussions with my own boss because she wants to leave some in reserve so they can feel like they got a "win" when/if they negotiate, but that feels icky to me. Why would I want to start my people off with less than they should be making?

18. Tami L CannizzaroJuly 17,2024 at 2:05PM UTC

    Always Counter!! The starting salary sets your base for all future raises. In general, men are more likely to negotiate - and receive - a higher starting salary. As women we need to speak up for ourselves and do the same. What have you got to lose?

    if they say No to money, you may be able to negotiate other perks.

    Give it a try!

19. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 18,2024 at 2:27AM UTC

    PLEASE STOP GIVING THIS POTENTIALLY HARMFUL "ADVICE" TO JOBSEEKERS.

    What has she got to lose? If you knew the ACTUAL answer to that question, you would not be asking this ridiculous question nor dishing out this potentially harmful "advice" to jobseekers.

    What she has to lose is they could possibly pull the offer. It happens quite often - including to members of this community.

    Men may be more or may not be more likely to negotiate (not necessarily in my 20+ years OF ACTUALLY EXTENDING AND NEGOTIATING OFFERS) but I can tell you that women ARE more likely to have negotiating come back to bite them.

    And what other perks, specifically, are you advising the OP to negotiate? In my experience, everything except base salary, sign-on bonuses and start dates are company policy and the same for everyone - as in NOT negotiable - unless you are at the most senior executive level.

20. Tami L CannizzaroJuly 19,2024 at 8:26PM UTC

    Please let me clarify my answer, for those who say my advice to "counter" is harmful. This came from my personal experience as a job seeker. Early in my career I did not counter and realized I had left money on the table. Ever since then, when interviewing for a new job/negotiating an offer, I've researched the position to understand the average pay, particularly in my city and combined that with my experience to make a reasonable counter offer. When I say "reasonable", I mean not asking for the max. And I counter because, in my case, I've known they were not offering what they could, based on research. I've asked in a polite manner, telling them first how excited I am about the offer and that I'm looking forward to working with them. Then I share that I was hoping the salary would be a little closer to X, is there any wiggle room? Also, as a hiring manager, I watched men almost always ask for more money, with women rarely asking. I've found that companies seem to expect a negotiation, so many times they don't start out with the highest offer. Again, these are my personal findings, based on my experience. Last month a friend asked if I thought she should counter offer and I told her I would if it were me. She did counter and received what she asked for within 24 hours. I do hear you - making a counter offer depends on a variety of things, and each person should assess the level of risk they are willing to take. From my experience, making a counter offer has worked out 4/4 times.

21. AnonymousJuly 17,2024 at 2:53PM UTC

    If you feel it's a fair offer, then take it. Don't counter yourself out of a job.

22. AnonymousJuly 17,2024 at 3:46PM UTC

    I absolutely hate what I'm going to say, but I'm going to say it anyway and duck for cover. I've done a lot of recruiting and men can get away with more negotiation and counteroffering than women. And while it's true that not negotiating will further that, you want and need a job. If you have a very specific ask, such as an additional week of time off, a second and third screen in your work area, home wifi reimbursement, a specific conference you would like to attend, etc. then negotiate on that.

    Meanwhile, prepare for a pitch at the one year review. I find women who come in well-prepared to negotiate for a big raise do VERY well one year in, where men get the status quo raise.

23. Debra WheatmanJuly 17,2024 at 4:14PM UTC

    Negotiating is part of the process. You should ABSOLUTELY negotiate and ask for more. The worst that will happen is they will say no.

24. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 17,2024 at 5:49PM UTC

    Wrong. The worst that can happen is that they rescind the offer.

25. Debra WheatmanJuly 18,2024 at 6:08PM UTC

    Nonsense. Nobody is rescinding if someone asks for more. This happened once in a specific case where the salary was discussed, and the person agreed (university setting) and then asked for something outrageous, making it no longer a good fit. Negotiating is part of the process. By just accepting, people leave money on the table - especially women.

26. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 18,2024 at 6:46PM UTC

    It is most certainly not nonsense.

    I had it happen to me personally. I received a verbal offer - I asked about the possibility of a sign-on bonus as I would not be eligible for a merit increase for 18 months. I did not actually ask for a sign-on bonus, just if it could be a possibility.

    And I was promptly ghosted.

    It does happen. Unfortunately in my experience, it happens to women more than men. Does that suck? It sure does. Does it happen? It sure does.

    I'm not saying never negotiate. But if jobseekers want to negotiate, they need to know the potential consequences.

    It's not right to give people advice in such absolute terms: "You should ABSOLUTELY negotiate and ask for more"

    My offers tend to be best and final right off the bat because my hiring managers don't mess around and they're not trying to play games with candidates.

    I've seen candidates negotiate themselves right out of a fair offer. This is people's livelihood you're messing with here.

27. Anastasia JohnsonJuly 17,2024 at 4:20PM UTC

    i have interviewed and hired many managers over the years and it’s absolutely true that men always negotiate and women rarely do, it doesn’t hurt to ask I always do, and sometimes the answer is no but at least I’ve tried.

28. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 18,2024 at 2:19AM UTC

    ALL OF THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!

29. AnonymousJuly 18,2024 at 1:28PM UTC

    You can counter without it being a deal breaker. You also dont have to counter for salary .... you can ask for more PTO, or even a sign-on bonus. If they say no, they say no. Nothing to lose! They expect you to negotiate.

30. AnonymousJuly 18,2024 at 3:45PM UTC

    Agree wholeheartedly!

31. AnonymousJuly 18,2024 at 2:51PM UTC

    Congratulations

32. Debra WheatmanJuly 18,2024 at 6:09PM UTC

    Respectfully disagree. I spend my days helping people negotiate. You know what they get? More money.

33. Debra WheatmanJuly 18,2024 at 6:12PM UTC

    Congratulations to you! Best of luck in the new role!

34. AnonymousJuly 18,2024 at 9:15PM UTC

    Thank goodness, and congrats!! Whohoo, celebrate you!

35. Errika LeighJuly 18,2024 at 10:38PM UTC

    Congratulations and I wish you the best!

36. Annetta MosesJuly 18,2024 at 11:32PM UTC

    Think about what you want and ask for it. Common items include:

    + higher base pay

    + higher bonus percentage based on specific performance criteria

    + hiring bonus

    + additional vacation time

    + work flexibility e.g. work remote 1 to 2 days a week, start time to arrive after rush hour traffic (this can reduce your commute time)

    + conference attendance (registration + travel + meals)

    + training courses

    + job title

    + transportation commute reimbursement (if using public transportation)

    + cell phone allow if need to use a cell for work

    Congrats on receiving an offer!

37. AnonymousJuly 19,2024 at 12:32AM UTC

    They said no to counter but still offered the job! And you're right, at 60, I'm very blessed to have gotten another offer. Thank you for your vulnerability

38. AnonymousJuly 19,2024 at 12:38AM UTC

    Congratulations! Wishing you much success in this new endeavor, I’m sure you will rock!

39. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistJuly 19,2024 at 1:08AM UTC

    I don't know how these people sleep at night or look themselves in the mirror dishing out such BS "advice" to jobseekers in a market like this.

40. AnonymousJuly 19,2024 at 1:25PM UTC

    Thank you. That's exactly why he has input.