Short Check-Ins

11 Comments

1. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 6:38PM UTC

   I do not think it's you but I would be proactive and prepare an agenda to go over the items you're currently working on, items you are planning to work on and prepare 1 idea you want to run by him for his thoughts. Then follow up a summary email to document what you to spoke about and details on other items.

   This shows your commitment, your engagement and professionalism. It levels you up in the eyes of those above you.

2. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 6:44PM UTC

   I do prepare an agenda and share it with him at least a day before our meetings.

3. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 8:59PM UTC

   Follow up as well.

4. AnonymousMarch 19,2024 at 7:45PM UTC

   No, I was never vicious to anyone I worked with at my previous job; in fact, I went out of my way to an almost silly degree to be friendly and personable to everyone. However, when I disagreed with someone professionally or pushed back on something that I didn't agree with, I would hear that I was being unprofessional and that I needed to work on my communication. When I would ask for specifics about what was inappropriate about what I had said in these instances, I never received specific feedback. The answer was always, 'You should know what you said.'

5. sherri jonesMarch 19,2024 at 8:43PM UTC

   You're overthinking for sure, if you feel concerned ask him for feedback. He seems to trust you

6. Kimberley Ferretti HammettMarch 19,2024 at 9:38PM UTC

   You are understandably overthinking it lol. The truth is, we don't know what it is unless he's told you. It could be that he doesn't want to spend any time with you that isn't necessary or it could be (more likely) that he just is a very direct, busy person who trusts you to be doing your job and spends his energy on other people and things. Unless he's verbalized either one of those things, you just don't know why. The good sign is he's showing up. In my opinion, if they really don't like you they find reasons not to show up.

   Now, what we DO know, is it's not you're responsibility to figure out why he is brief with you. If you get what you need from him, then it's his responsibility to tell you if you are not giving him what he needs or if there is something wrong with the relationship there. Your last leader/team failed you in giving you an opportunity to repair relationships it sounds like you didn't even know were strained. That kind of feedback should come before a final notice. If your leader is secretly hating working with you but doesn't have the courage to talk to you about it, he's creating his own discomfort.

   Now, I say this as someone who 1000% relates and understands you probably will still worry about it and question things. If it really bothers you or you feel you're missing out on a better relationship with your boss that is affecting your experience at work negatively, try gently asking about this. Maybe let them know about your experience before or if that's uncomfortable, let them know you're used to more contact from a leader and simply ask if their brevity is their style or if there is feedback they could give you that would change anything. You don't have to ask if they like you, just ask if there's anything you should know because you want to have positive relationships at work and you are willing to accept feedback.

   Good luck. I'm sorry for your past experience. I know it can actually damage your trust in others, even subconsciously. But you can control you, not how honest or courageous others are.

7. AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 11:26AM UTC

   Does anyone else report to him? If so, see if you can subtly find out how he interacts with them.

   Also, when you have an opportunity, observe his interactions with others and see if he is just very organized and brief.

   I have a boss in a non-profit who is sort of similar although we don't have a regular 1:1. I am not a "brief" type person but I try to get to the bottom line quickly with him and give details when asked. I have noticed in meetings that this is his preferred style. Since this is not my style, I sometimes have the same reaction you do, but I have found that since this is his manner with others also, no need to worry that I have offended him -- at least most of the time. (I do occasionally still worry but that is on me, not him.)

8. AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 2:21PM UTC

   This is a slippery slope. I wouldn't recommend comparing yourself to others.

   OP should speak with their boss directly in the same manner they posted here. Anything else is speculation. Some people consider no news the equivalent of good news.

   However, if OP has aspirations to progress within the company they may be overlooked if they don't make their intentions known. Also, do not hesitate to toot your own horn dang it!

   Forward your boss communications of gratitude from others for your work for example. Surely you can think of others. . . .

   Also, the duration of the meetings aren't necessarily a bad thing, but are you put off because you have more to say? Maybe keep a notepad of topics to discuss throughout the week so you can mention them during your 1:1. Alternatively, you can check in with them more frequently. if they are put off by that then I would delve into why.

9. AnonymousMarch 21,2024 at 10:25AM UTC

   Yes, valid points. EQ is not easy to develop.

10. Elizabyth HarringtonMarch 20,2024 at 5:48PM UTC

    You're overthinking this. :)

    As a manager at my last job, I would schedule 30 minute 1:1s with everyone on my team. Some people were extroverts and wanted meetings once a week (and would go over the time allotted). Some people were introverts and it was hard to pull them out of their shells once every other week. My rockstar of rockstars was always busy and always had everything covered - my 1:1s with him were barely 5 minutes long every other week and there was nothing he needed from me in between meetings - and I respected that.

    The length of 1:1s (at least as far as I am concerned) has nothing to do with job performance or personal feelings and everything to do with how much we have to chat about.

    It sounds like your manager trusts you and is letting you do your job without micromanaging. Otherwise, they'd be letting you know.

11. AnonymousMarch 20,2024 at 9:24PM UTC

    My instinct is that you are overthinking this, unless you have additional evidence that your boss is unhappy with you or your work.

    Absent any additional evidence of unhappiness, what you’ve described is a situation in which your boss is comfortable with you and your work and doesn’t see the need for additional intervention. Take this as a vote of confidence.