Does anyone here work for such a bad manager that you wonder why you need one at all?

20 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 6,2024 at 1:51PM UTC

   I was in a somewhat similar position as you a few years ago. It was a different role, but a standalone in a nonprofit. I was led to believe I could take this role, make it my own, independently, etc. What ended up happening is my boss felt she knew more than me about my job, she didn't like how I did things, I didn't care for what she wanted me to do. Long story short, I was there just over a year.

2. AnonymousNovember 6,2024 at 5:35PM UTC

   Thank you. The writing has been on the wall but I'm stubborn. ? I should just go ahead and put in my notice

3. AnonymousNovember 6,2024 at 6:34PM UTC

   In my case, I think I was less than 6 months into that job before I realized that it was not going to work. Took her longer, but as that was about the only thing we could agree on after about a year, we had a mutual agreement to end that relationship.

4. AnonymousNovember 6,2024 at 4:38PM UTC

   I have found that “bad manager” is a strategy for quietly pushing by someone out. Incompetence is pretty rare, IMHO. When you have a bad manager you are faced with a decision. Stay and accept the behavior or go seeking greener pastures.

5. Susan Kirshner-SheldonNovember 6,2024 at 5:37PM UTC

   Thanks. Seeking greener pastures it is! She has a history of doing this. Highly unprofessional behavior.

6. AnonymousNovember 6,2024 at 6:47PM UTC

   Bad managers are everywhere. Put everything, including your ideas in writing. Email it to her and copy yourself so she can see that. Print it, put it in a file physically and digitally.

   Also when they say it's their idea, say actually, no, remember the email I sent you that provided this information? This person is probably threatened by your competency and is self conscious of their own incompetency. Challenge her. She'll back off. The most successful are those who have people smarter advising them and the incompetent want to steal ideas and have lack of skills. Who cannot walk the talk. Those are the ones I dodge. I would look elsewhere for the right culture for yourself. She's not worth any angst. Find an environment that allows you the ability to feel fulfilled without feeling empty from an inept manager.

7. AnonymousNovember 6,2024 at 9:36PM UTC

   What does "manager-free" actually mean? I'm not trying to be rude, but it sounds like you go to work and do what you want, not what you are told or supposed to do. Managers are there to give direction to those who work for them for the work that needs to be done, so in a way, your work is a reflection of the manager, so as a manager, they have a more significant stake in it than you do. Ultimately, the company has the most to gain or lose from what you produce.

   Your bigger gripe should be that the manager does not adequately explain what she expects rather than changing things to take credit. She changed them because they weren't what she expected, and ultimately, it was her project to manage. There is no real way a person can work without direction or accountability.

   Maybe I read the whole post wrong, but this was how it came across.

8. AnonymousNovember 7,2024 at 4:18PM UTC

   Thank you - I'll try to explain better. The real issue is lack of leadership, communication, feedback and collaboration. My work aligns with the vision of the department but the way I execute it is what she has an issue with. She always tells me "I'm not happy" when I encounter roadblocks. She doesn't help me navigate them, just offers criticism.

   My self confidence would soar and output would be better if she wasn't critical and actually worked with me.

   Hope that clarifies!

9. maria roseNovember 7,2024 at 6:54PM UTC

   You, the OP, have gotten complacent in how you perform your work and even if you say you don’t, are a bit annoyed when the person who is above you, suggests changing your approach because you feel that you don’t need to be critiqued. You must be doing the job most of the time as needed and the only time this person seems to come to you with suggestions is when your approach is not getting the results needed—I am assuming this is some kind of non-profit organization business versus a business that provides office services and your work technique is consistent with developing functionality which has to change approach for every task. You should be welcoming any assistance with this goal instead of feeling that you are being treated as if you are incapable. The fact that you are not being monitored and hand watched over for every task means the company trust your skills and this person only steps in when they see you need assistance instead of leaving you to flounder through. You may not like working with this specific person for personal reasons which may have nothing to do with your job but the end goal at work is to complete the task regardless of your team approach.

10. AnonymousNovember 10,2024 at 2:29PM UTC

    I understand ur point. No one wants a micromanager. However if the ONLY interaction they have is when criticism is needed that would eat away at the most confident employee. After reading this it seems manager needs to find a more balanced approach. I do not mean they need to kiss anyone's @ss though. Just more balance and pro ably some appreciation as it seems like OP is carrying the brunt of the work entirely on their own.

    Also, in a healthy work environment your manage should work with OP to strategies professional goals and how to rise within the organization or hone specific skills.

11. AnonymousNovember 8,2024 at 2:43AM UTC

    I think it helps. You don't want to be without a manager, just without this one. I have addressed this by asking for 1:1 time with the manager and asking for clarification on what I was doing wrong and why she was not happy with my performance. It seems risky, but for me, it worked. It changed the relationship from dictatorial to a collaboration. The only caution I can give you is not to try to over-explain. Try to explain it in five to ten minutes; hopefully, there is time for her to give you some constructive feedback. Easy adjustments are style or format issues. You may need to make more significant adjustments if it is more substantive. I'm not sure how long you've been there, but sometimes, it takes a few months to fully understand and adapt to the company and leadership's ways of doing things.

12. Xx Sera BlvdNovember 7,2024 at 1:50AM UTC

    I'm not going anonymous on here. Id like to connect. Yes, I'm in the exact situation. It happens too often in CA and everyone that shares this story is either afraid of retaliation, from a current or prospective employer.

    However, if we dont stand up to it, raise our voices, we continue to perpetuate the problems and it's a cycle. Ive heard this before and I wanted to share, I think google, Leadership & World Change. I could not insert the link. Here they discuss and recognize the systemic problem in leadership & at the same reflection of World Leaders. It could not be more dead on.

13. AnonymousNovember 7,2024 at 4:15PM UTC

    I'll connect with you privately. Thank you for replying!

14. AnonymousNovember 10,2024 at 8:40AM UTC

    It's not just CA, its everywhere.

15. AnonymousNovember 7,2024 at 9:58PM UTC

    No one is manager free unless they work for themselves.

16. misskelleypNovember 9,2024 at 7:35PM UTC

    And then the client is the "manager"....

17. AnonymousNovember 8,2024 at 4:06PM UTC

    Is that you clocked in at work place? Does paper paystub from payroll state your name, ID, gender, pay rate, deduction, employer identification, location etc ? Paystub has numbers to trace in ACH fraud situations.

    Have you physically examine the work environment, payscale, type of work, people who you will work with, manager if any. Don’t get blindfold, everything needs to be on a paper contract.

    Sending an email to corporate lawyers about the work culture not fit and a list of unprofessional business practices, willful misconduct. Get law enforcement involved in white collar crime like badge handling, corporate transparency, money laundering, cheat in financial records.

    You should move on and look for somewhere else.

18. AnonymousNovember 10,2024 at 2:19PM UTC

    I think it boils down to what u r willing to accept for urself. If u believe in the organization and this position is allowing u to thrive and meet self actualization then do u. I would recommend d keeping ur resume up to date with the skills u r using since I'm almost certain ur title does not match the work u r actually executing. Also pay. . . .again ur personal needs may b different but make sure the organization isn't getting a free work horse

    Lastly, now that ur boss has started to notice ur brilliant output u may consider creative ways to ear mark ur work lest she begin to start taking credit. . . .

19. AnonymousNovember 11,2024 at 2:46PM UTC

    Similar boat, also at a crossroads on how to move forward. Following for additional suggestions.

20. AnonymousNovember 12,2024 at 3:14AM UTC

    Have been in a similar position in the past and was able to get some valuable input from one of my mentors. Sometimes a company (or in my case a non-profit educational institution) hires someone for a position that they probably would have taken but could not figure out how to do it. Once you get underway and they see how the situation could be handled, they may have "buyer's remorse". This, I am fairly sure, was the case in my experience. Fortunately, my contract was only for the school year and I had an excuse not to renew - (They moved their services to a location outside of my reasonable commute area). Therefore, we parted "friends" and I got out of an untenable situation.