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Has anyone ever experienced asking your manager a direct question and they bald- face lie to you?

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Anonymous

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Has anyone ever experienced asking your manager a direct question and they bald- face lie to you?

How did you respond back if at all?

This often happens to me by our so called great leader running our organization. I cringe when I hear outside authorities make comments in open meetings that he’s a great leader and doing a great job. I understand that people will lie in uncomfortable situations or do it to avoid hurting someone’s feelings, but it’s not helping a mature adult in a work situation only wanting to know to have a clear understanding and move on.

When I ask him questions he is nice about it, but he won’t make eye contact and sometimes will laugh a little behind his words and throw out some answer that doesn’t make sense or appear genuine and I leave scratching my head thinking did he really say that and expect me to believe it?

I want to approach him one more time only to get clarification on his last lie he told me regarding a promotion just to see what he will say this time since he told me he was considering giving it to me this past January and it’s April. I really don’t expect him to give it to me but just wanted to push him to be straight with me so I can move on and stop wasting my time thinking he meant what he said because obviously he didn’t. I would respect him more if he did that but right now I don’t believe anything he says, but it will be interesting to hear on what excuse he will give me now so I can let this go.

It’s sad, but I guess honestly against company policy.

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  1. Anonymous

    Let it go. He's obviously conflict-averse, and he built his reputation by being a people-pleaser. I had a similar supervisor and I felt betrayed when I learned her true feelings (which affected my salary). Doubling down on your communication style (direct) won't make him change his communication style (indirect). He will find you threatening and "difficult."

    The next time you get a vague or dishonest comment, document it in an email to him. Something like "When you said xyz, I took that to mean you want me to do ABC, correct?"

    It may not change anything, but you'll have that documentation in case things go badly for you. (bcc: a personal email account)

  2. Robin Gibson

    I second all of this.

  3. Anonymous

    Thank you I appreciate the good advice that I will use from now on.

  4. Anonymous

    This is good advice.
    It’s not a hill worth dying on in the world of picking one’s battles but do get as much clarity in writing as you can.

  5. Anonymous

    If your lying complaint is about his promises to promote you and then not doing it, try this tact instead. Ask him directly about it remind him of the conversation that you had on X previous date. Then email him and cc the HR dept and your personal email. Put a reminder on his calendar to speak about it and then also in the email if there are any roadblocks to this happening so that you can know how to improve and get the promotion then. Make it positive, if he doesn't respond favorably to it then you are getting a very clear sign that he does not think you are fit for that promotion or simply doesn't want to do it. I wouldn't berate him about it but if/when you find a new role with a company that will honor their promises and promote your career as well as their own needs you can tell him directly you left because of his empty promises. Timebox this and be sure to be firm in your wording.

  6. Anonymous

    My god, find another job if you can’t stand to be around this leader! Suffering is a choice.

  7. Anonymous

    I agree with your advice and I have suffered a great deal over this as I find it hard to ignore him and be pleasant but manage because I have 4 years to go before I retire at 63. I have to finish my journey here in government then off to find enjoyment in working somewhere else.

  8. Anonymous

    Trust your observations. Update your resume and send it out, see what other great jobs are available for you to consider. This is a legitimate reason to be job hunting.

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