Boss has Boundary issues.

78 Comments

1. Sue RoseMay 10,2023 at 3:17PM UTC

   Absolutely not. She is a boundary breaker, or doesn’t understand boundaries or has no boundaries and you have them. It’s okay to have boundaries. You could tell her you are a private person and that you don’t answer any question you deem personal or that makes you uncomfortable. If she doesn’t recognize boundaries, just hold your ground and if it happens again, remind her “This is one of those boundary moments.” I did this nicely and often with an Autistic team mate.

2. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 9:10PM UTC

   Thank you for the excellent reply! My coworker has told me just to lie, lie, lie and I can do that but I don't like lying and I have some dumb thing where I just have a hard time not telling a boss the truth. This might work!

3. Chriscodyc1May 12,2023 at 12:33PM UTC

   As others have stated, I respond first with why do you want to know? Do you want to know about the menu or what I thought about the service? If they persist, I ask “are you okay?” Then I leave the discussion.

4. Mary TarantinoMay 10,2023 at 4:46PM UTC

   Absolutely not. It is totally fine to want to keep your personal life separate form your work life. Lots of people do this. If they continue to ask what you deem personal or invasive questions, try to address them with something along the lines of "I'm sorry, I know you are probably just trying to be nice and get to know me better, but I like to keep my personal life to myself while at work."

5. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 9:08PM UTC

   Thank you, that is such a helpful answer. The history here is abundant. There is zero reason to trust them as anything can and will be used against anyone at any time.

6. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 4:52PM UTC

   You simply don't answer. It's very simple. I'm surrounded by people like this. They get nothing.

7. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 9:12PM UTC

   Right? But when they persist and persist its hard not to answer a boss! Idk why they don't understand boundaries.

8. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 1:06AM UTC

   It's called manipulation. It's gross and I don't tolerate it.

9. Terri Wilcox BMay 12,2023 at 1:44AM UTC

   Love to hear some of your techniques for master manipulators, as that is my life with them.

10. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 3:16AM UTC

    I need tips as well

11. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 5:17PM UTC

    In my opinion, you're being too sensitive. Yes, we all need to have boundaries, but by you not answering, clearly the barrage of Q's won't stop. All you have to do is politely say something like, "no one you would know."

    It's probably not all about you answering to them. Maybe she feels left out? Have you ever asked her to lunch to get to know them better?

    And maybe set the timer for 5 minutes before the meeting is scheduled to end to give everyone time to wrap up would be a much better way to end than simply, "gotta go."

12. Thalia MoshosMay 12,2023 at 1:34PM UTC

    No. It's none if her boss's business what she does during her lunch hour.

13. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 5:45PM UTC

    I think this person might just be really socially awkward. You can answer that you're dining on your own or with a "friend" and leave it at that.

14. AnonymousMay 10,2023 at 6:23PM UTC

    I wouldn't say you're overly sensitive but you may be viewing it incorrectly because you don't know why they are asking these questions. Perhaps they are just trying to be friendly and chummy. They also may be suspicious of something because you're so secretive. While you're not obligated to share your personal life with them, if others do it may make you seem like you're hiding something. Have you ever asked them why they are so curious about your life? Do they ever act this way with anyone else or are you the only one who gets questions? The more you avoid answering them the more you will look shady, therefore prompting more questions. If I were them, right now I would be assuming that you're either a) hooking up with a coworker or b) looking for another job. Both of which concern them directly if they are in charge.

    You may not feel like it's okay for them to be asking but likely their just trying to relate to you as a human. The opposite would be that they only speak to you regarding work related things and then you would feel like you're working with robots. Is that what you would prefer? I recommend you figure out why you feel the need to keep secrets from people who are likely just trying to feel like they fit in. Also consider that they are just trying to help YOU feel like you are part of the team, possibly because of your standoffishness. Hard to say but it's good that you're inquiring. That's how we grow.

15. Amy Carissa OliverMay 12,2023 at 12:44PM UTC

    This is inappropriate behavior from a boss. If you suspect that she followed you to that cafe you should report her to HR at the very least. People speaking to you on this thread don’t seem to realize that it’s not only rude and hostile but possibly illegal for your boss to badger you about your personal life, and that following you has graduated to a legal issue. It’s called stalking.

    Answers to her badgering:

    • I am not comfortable talking about my personal life at work

    If you are dating someone right now, her asking who you’re meeting and why could be a violation of federal law because answering would disclose your marital status and/or give additional details about it.

    other issues with her asking: you could be meeting a therapist at lunch, you could be gay/bi and not want work to know. Both protected information about you.

    You are not overly sensitive. Your boss is flirting with and seems to have already crossed legal lines with what she’s allowed to say/do/ask.

    I am the type of boss that if this were happening to one of my team members I would have already busted down HR’s door a while ago, and I encourage you to consider chatting with them, or if you have an ombudsman, go to them. It doesn’t have to be a report, just a conversation.

    just say, “there’s someone here at work who is asking me personal questions a lot and it makes me uncomfortable. They don’t seem to get the hint. How can I help them back off?” It’s up to HR then to ask you some questions and find out whether you need to make a report. Their job is to protect the company and if your boss has crossed multiple legal boundaries and possibly committed a misdemeanor (which could easily become a felony if repeated or may already be depending on your state law) they’re going to want to get involved.

    You’re not being insensitive, you’re never obligated to tell your boss personal information, you’re not obligated to be friends with anyone at work. No it’s not your fault. No you don’t have to shape to their boundaries on personal matters. You don’t have to say where you’re going to lunch or with who. You don’t have to say why you need vacation time or sick leave. You don’t have to offer up your partner’s name. They don’t need to know what music you like or what food is your fave.

    It is a never ending list of NO.

16. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMay 10,2023 at 9:29PM UTC

    Personally, it's none of anyone's business where I go to lunch or who I go to lunch - or anywhere else - with. End of.

17. AnonymousMay 11,2023 at 11:38AM UTC

    Why you feel obligated to even worry about your answers is odd. A friend suffices, as it is not their business, correct. AS I respect the boundaries of timed meetings, the alarm going off so others can hear is annoying. Control what you can control, and that is something you can. Sounds like you can also control what you share to help others to stay in their lane, why even share anything personal as obviously leadership is too nosy and not let it be. Don't share.

18. Brigette WildsMay 11,2023 at 12:53PM UTC

    When they ask a second time say, “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” and then laugh. Maybe they will get the point. Or you could say, “A personal friend you would not know.”

19. Terri Wilcox BMay 12,2023 at 1:42AM UTC

    Good idea

20. Jordajl0May 11,2023 at 1:48PM UTC

    I answer nosy questions with the question, “Why do you ask?”. That usually shuts things down immediately.

21. Terri Wilcox BMay 12,2023 at 1:42AM UTC

    Mmmm, that’s good!

22. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 1:34AM UTC

    I find it odd they keep asking…..it’s not their concern what anyone does on their lunch. And then showing up is even more bizarre

23. Terri Wilcox BMay 12,2023 at 1:42AM UTC

    Yes, amongst the other bizarre boundaryless nonsense they do, every single day.

24. Lisa MarieMay 12,2023 at 12:54PM UTC

    Asking every day is he!!a weird. Shut it down asap. See my full response above.

25. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 5:00PM UTC

    i would look for another job. It sounds like they are wanting you our or trying to catch you in something

26. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 12:05PM UTC

    Honestly, now I want to know who you're meeting! ;)

27. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 12:18PM UTC

    I tell them what they WANT to hear, not necessarily the truth."I went to the best new cafe in town, you know, the one on Main Street with the greatest deserts!"Seeing how they know EVERYTHING, this place should be familiar with them."I had lunch with my BFF as we discussed our newest venture....."Even if you were at McDonald's to get away and read this post (!), they don't need to know.If this doesn't work, say "why do you ask?" If the response is to be friendly and you know they clearly aren't your friend, tell them you are busy.I hate these annoying people

    If it's a new person, they might be trying to be decent. Share little, but be leary nonetheless

28. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 12:19PM UTC

    Does your manager desire more friends? Are they lonely and would like to be included?

    Or Are they fearful you are building alliances and they are insecure.

    I think answering friends from …. My neighborhood, crochet class, swim team, etc would be appropriate but you don’t need to give names.

29. Sandy EarlMay 12,2023 at 12:22PM UTC

    I really like the “Why would you want to know that?” response mentioned by others. But I’m also that person who might shut it down with something random like “I need to deliver the hush money to my husband’s last Grindr date” if they pushed too far into the nosey zone.

30. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 12:30PM UTC

    The tone of how they ask the questions makes a really big difference.

    Is it casual? Snippy? Brusk? Harsh? Body language? Facial expression?

    More context here matters to assess the situation better.

    I think based on reading this you're a bit uptight and they're just being a little nosey and but also maybe want to network

31. Robin ThomasMay 12,2023 at 3:09PM UTC

    I wouldn't think about networking with my manager/director. That's my business. I would schedule a brief (15 min) meeting to have a conversation to let your boss know that you're unsure where all the questions are coming from. Control the narrative. If you're uncomfortable, that should be communicated, and hopefully, you can better understand the context in which these questions are being asked.

32. Balanced372207May 12,2023 at 3:25PM UTC

    I think it isn't any of their business who she has lunch with --- or where.

33. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 4:59PM UTC

    its not their business either way

34. RenataMay 12,2023 at 12:34PM UTC

    There may well be a perfectly reasonable explanation for these questions - anything from just making conversation and wanting to perhaps get to know a little bit more about you to someone just being plain nosy. The important thing though is to not go all scorched earth here. If the person is just being nosey then determine that by asking that "why would you want to know" question. If they are attempting to get to know you then you may want to have a separate chat and say that you are a bit confused/weirded out as to why they keep asking you these questions. Once you understand their reasoning you are better able to navigate whats going on.

    Avoid the defensive/speculative rabbit hole as far as possible until you have a more accurate understanding of what is actually going on. At the end of the day you will still have to work together so tread wisely.

35. Beth Whight MoralesMay 12,2023 at 12:37PM UTC

    I get they might ask about where you eat. Everyone wants to know about some good food spots! But who you were with? “I signed an NDA and can’t discuss it” might get the point across…

36. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 12:47PM UTC

    This does seem odd. But I think it's also odd that you have an alarm set to signal the end of a meeting with your boss. I've never seen that and would never do that. If you were in a meeting with your boss and if you were still talking business and you suddenly ended it because your alarm went off, well that's a separate issue than the inappropriate nosieness into your personal life. Maybe there's a connection?

    And is a security clearance involved in this job?-- doesn't sound like it, but in that case the questions can be appropriate. But you'd know that if that's the case.

37. Lisa MarieMay 12,2023 at 12:50PM UTC

    With me not hearing the tone (playful or professional/ serious), and not knowing the culture of your work environment, it is difficult for me to be able to know how to think about this, so here's both approaches I would use - based on which tangent you believe their questions are coming from:

    1) Nosey/overly-friendly boundary breakers: I meet with the VP of the East Coast (insert whichever coast you're on) COCKROACH exterminators Assn to strategize for our weekly Las Vegas strip appointments.

    2) Micro-management/non-trusting inquiries: my lunch break meet ups are not work-related.

    You may be super private, and not want to share personal/off clock details... *absolutely nothing is wrong with that* BUT don't use those words - unless you absolutely must - or you'll run the risk of "miscommunication" and that skewed info will/may get spread around the office about you!!

    And trust that "office perception and gossip* cannot and will never be completely corrected - so it's best to not have any negative info floating around. Ever.

    Good luck!

38. Zeecil KimmelMay 12,2023 at 12:54PM UTC

    Here is a great chance to learn some skills I am teaching to my nine-year-old. Learn how to directly answer a question without saying anything AND make the other person feel heard. What I suggest choose a meta-skill (curiosity, excitement) and then say something like this: "Wow thank you for your interest. I know you have great lunch ideas - where would you suggest I go?" Deflected the question AND complimented your manager.

39. CarmenMay 12,2023 at 12:57PM UTC

    Sounds like the questions from your manager and director are becoming a pattern. I disagree with others who've commented that YOU are being overly sensitive. What you do during your personal time is no one's business, but I'm sure you could come up with a tactful response that would not ruin your relationship with the two of them going forward. If you have not shared personal matters with them previously and therefore set up the expectation that you would continue to do so, then that's why they're asking. If you have intentionally not shared personal matters, then politely let them know that you prefer to keep your personal and business life separate.

40. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 12:57PM UTC

    I think it's weird, full stop. Is everyone there getting this or is it just you?

    I personally feel like if you are reacting enough to post on a website looking for help about it, it's way, way off. Something is up. Are you aware of any rumors going around about you? In groups of mostly women, everyone's a player in the rumor mill, including the execs.

    I think you have to find out if the director wants to be a buddy or a general. She can't be both. A one on one asking directly, "you seem to want to know more about me. What would you like to know? " would put her on the spot for a second, but a director should be experienced enough to navigate a difficult conversation.

    As you know, everything is in the fishbowl.

41. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 1:11PM UTC

    I have experienced something similar with a former and find it totally unacceptable. I don’t have a good solution except to keep handling things as you are and to figure out what your red lines are in case they keep crossing more. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this.

42. Hold on Lee LouMay 12,2023 at 1:12PM UTC

    You mentioned that there's a culture of loose come and go times around the office. It's it possible that she thinks you are overly loose with your coming and going?

    The questions are weird, but if she's like that with everyone is probably an overbearing personality.

43. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 1:22PM UTC

    As a boss, I would never ask my staff where they are going or with whom. We are a very small office (I'm a psychiatrist with a couple of part-time staff and students who come and go) and people usually tell me things (often more than I need to know!). But if someone says, for example, "I have a doctor's appointment at 3" (which they don't have to say, they can say "I need to be somewhere for an hour this afternoon") I would never ask "what kind of doctor?" We are very casual and laid back but even with my friends I wouldn't ask those kinds of questions unless they offered. It is my opinion as a psychiatrist that many people misinterpret interest and camaraderie as intrusiveness (both ways - the way they behave and also the way others behave toward them). That said, it sounds like your manager is an insecure type who feels left out and wants to feel included - and that is her problem, not yours. How to address it? IDK. My son is studying organizational psychology and they would say bring in an organizational psychologist to figure out what is going on and be the mediator for these issues (I proofread all his papers LOL). The reason that type of approach works is because it takes the pressure off you to justify yourself and lets an outsider give a professional opinion and intervention. Sorry I couldn't be more helpful. I totally get it. I hate when people ask me stuff I don't want to share, even though I am generally a very open person.

44. Rebecca MillikenMay 12,2023 at 1:25PM UTC

    I don't think you are overly sensitive because your bosses sound pretty nosy. Questioning your personal life is not cool.

    I wonder why they are doing it though. My thought is maybe they are worried you're looking for another job or something like that. That's not to excuse them.

    I would answer, "With friends, why do you ask?" next time--not in a confrontational way but a conversational tone. See what they say.

45. LilianaMay 12,2023 at 1:29PM UTC

    No, seems to me they are being overtly nosey and not getting your hints. You are not obligated to answer their questions and it may be a sign of a controlling personality

46. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 1:37PM UTC

    My thought is the manager is insecure. Maybe they are concerned you are meeting with their boss as insecure people usually think the worst event if not possible. Are they being left out of something fun in their minds and they feel excluded.

    I wouldn't answer in silly ways as others have suggested. I would be very direct and ask "why are you interested in my eating and who I'm eating with"? Wait for them to answer and keep eye contact.

47. FTM_PMMay 12,2023 at 1:43PM UTC

    They might be worried you’re job searching.

48. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistMay 12,2023 at 4:56PM UTC

    That's even less of their business than who she's having lunch with.

49. Mary PoolMay 12,2023 at 1:49PM UTC

    Wow, this is an unusual one. Maybe you could come up with a basic answer like “with friends” or “probably a place nearby.” If they persist, you could say, “I really don’t like discussing my lunch plans. So let’s change the subject.” Repeat as necessary. For the at-lunch example, something like “This conversation is becoming really personal. It is making me uncomfortable.”

    Why are they asking? I think the reasoning behind the questions will affect your response. If it is simply noisiness, you can be firmer. If it is to connect, then your response can be gentler. How do you know, though? That is the kicker. Without asking outright, I have no idea. (Your manager sounds lonely, but pursuing a personal relationship with her is not in your best interest.)

50. Brenda CrawshawMay 12,2023 at 1:50PM UTC

    I think in this case I might reflect it back on her. Maybe say something like "I am curious - why are you so interested in who I am having lunch with?" You might get some insight. Is she worried you might be meeting with someone she has a crush on? Someone up the chain of command? Does she indeed want to crash the lunches? Is she looking for someone to have lunch with herself? Is she just nuts?

    Honestly, sometimes YOUR being direct when someone else is not can really unlock a lot.

    If she persists, I would just shut down any volunteering of any information. Any question she asks - where are you going, who are you going with - you haven't decided. Put your alarm on silent in the future.

    This isn't a boundary issue, it's pure nosiness.

51. Balanced372207May 12,2023 at 3:20PM UTC

    It is both issues, actually. Boundaries being violated because of nosiness.

52. ReachingGoalsMay 12,2023 at 2:26PM UTC

    Yeah, sounds a little intrusive. I would reply to with who: friends / no one. As to where: haven't decided yet, is there someplace you can recommend? And if she persists then I would ask her why she wants to know. Sometimes you must counter with a firm reply denying them whatever answer they are looking for: I would rather not answer that question. You are not required to answer personal questions

53. Balanced372207May 12,2023 at 3:26PM UTC

    Why do you have to eat with people who make you nauseated?

54. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 3:40PM UTC

    I’m getting a VERY distinct “they think you’re job interviewing” vibe from this. I’d bank on it. Might use that to your benefit.

55. NatMay 13,2023 at 3:08PM UTC

    I thought that too. But for the boss to show up. Lol. It's funny. I think your being too sensitive. Just say having lunch with friends. If she asks to come. Say you have some personal things to talk about, how about lunch date on X Y Z. Day this week or month?

    Chillax but at same time it's not their business nor should they follow you or stalk you. Maybe they think you're hiding something? Lunch drinks? Going with a coworker? Ask her, she asks you. Can't hurt.

56. Tonya StewartMay 12,2023 at 3:44PM UTC

    Perhaps she is lonely and would like an invitation to lunch. Regarding specific personal questions keep it vague. Friends is a perfectly good answer.

57. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 4:14PM UTC

    While you view the relationship with your manager as purely professional, if your workplace is fairly friendly, she may think you are closer "friends" than you actually are. You may want to reestablish that boundary gently, as to not hurt her feelings and make your professional relationship awkward. Rather than stating outright that you feel uncomfortable or refusing to answer, a simple "I'm sorry, why are you asking? Did you want me to pick you up some takeout?" would give her an easy, face-saving out, while hopefully showing her that you do not intend to share personal information.

58. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 4:39PM UTC

    Is she lonely? Or just looking for lunch dates? Perhaps she wants to have a much more familiar relationship with you than you want with her. Best to tell her that during your lunch break you prefer to socialize with personal friends and hope she understands.

59. Kia HarrisMay 12,2023 at 4:52PM UTC

    I side with you on keeping my personal life separate as it has not/will not serve beneficial in career growth. Maybe you say thanks for asking, I have a private meeting do you need to catch up later or would you like to have working lunches quarterly to ensure she knows the subject of those meetings. Hoping it helps

60. Lori SchmitzMay 12,2023 at 6:13PM UTC

    I may be unpopular here, but From my perspective, your boss is trying to build a relationship with you. We used to have relationships with our co-workers. She’s not asking for your latest blood results, she’s trying to be cordial so she can get to know you. Covid messed with a lot of people’s social skills. If you say, I’m having lunch with a friend, she can ask you how was lunch. You spend more time around your coworkers than just about anyone else, it’s nice to have a friendly relationship with them.

61. ReachingGoalsMay 12,2023 at 6:31PM UTC

    You could be correct. Some of us have become awkward in our attempt to re-socialization ourselves.

62. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 7:07PM UTC

    This. I have been struggling since getting back into the office.

63. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 6:40PM UTC

    The boss is lacking boundaries. It isn’t her business where she goes on lunch or to randomly show up. It’s a work relationship and needs to stay professional. I have huge issues where I work because my boss lacks boundaries and it causes a toxic work environment.

64. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 7:57PM UTC

    Maybe they're just friendly or used to being open, I think you should gently assert your boundaries, let them know it makes you uncomfortable and they'll probably give you some space.

65. Balanced372207May 12,2023 at 7:59PM UTC

    I have been in the workforce for 40 plus years, and wouldn't dream of asking personal questions to managers or coworkers, or dream of answering same from them. So, call me immature.

66. AnonymousMay 12,2023 at 8:48PM UTC

    To answer your direct question, yes, it sounds like you're being overly sensitive. Does your boss talk about how she spends her personal time? It could be a way of making conversation, breaking the ice, getting to know you better as a person, etc. In this post, you come across as a bit closed off, and while that is strictly "professional", you spent a lot of time with colleagues, so it may serve you well to let them in on innocuous bits of your personal life. "I had lunch with a friend today." "Dinner last night was at that new Italian restaurant on Main St." "My college roommate is in town." and similar responses to inquiries.

67. AnonymousMay 13,2023 at 12:01AM UTC

    When you said lunch date, she probably thought it was romantic and asked who you were going with then, and your alarm went off. Have you considered your actions and what you are saying may be causing them to ask more questions. If you don't want them to know, don't answer with information that could be intriguing.

68. Balanced372207May 14,2023 at 6:19PM UTC

    That's a ridiculous answer. Why should she have to "tailor" her answer to a question that had no right to be asked in the first place?

69. AnonymousMay 24,2023 at 3:47AM UTC

    Communication goes both ways.

70. AnonymousMay 14,2023 at 2:01PM UTC

    Reflecting on the details of your post, I have a slightly different take. I am a therapist and with some of that knowledge, I'm wondering if you're having encounters with a person who might not possess a well-developed repertoire of social skills appropriate for the workplace. This, especially in light of the fact that (a) she didn't pick up on what to do with your multiple redirections--i.e., realize she should move on and stop asking-- and (b) that one occasion where she showed up at the very cafe you'd mentioned you were going to. Not knowing the tone and expression, though, it's hard to tell whether it's intentional intrusiveness or overcurious social cluelessness operating here.

71. AnonymousMay 15,2023 at 1:50AM UTC

    I’m torn actually. This is a person who literally told me she didn’t know what a boundary was. However she also has deliberately made my life miserable, at times. In any case…it’s the what to do? I am trying something new and I invited her to lunch. I’m going to kindly say: you were so interested in who I was going to lunch with, I thought you must want to go to lunch with me. See what happens from there. If I can sneak in, I prefer to keep my lunch dates to myself.. I shall.

72. AnonymousMay 16,2023 at 6:47PM UTC

    How did it go? And if she doesn’t know boundaries she will make life hell there. I have a boss who doesn’t know them. Whenever I tell people what goes on here, they are always amazed

73. AnonymousMay 14,2023 at 11:47PM UTC

    As someone who would like to know NOTHING about her direct reports, I've repeatedly been told I have to take an interest and get personal. This might be more of a fumble than actually trying to cross a boundary.

74. Jennifer WuolletMay 15,2023 at 1:26PM UTC

    Just a thought but your boss may be thinking that you have interviews for another company. I know if I am headed to an interview, I tend to give vague answers, she may think that you are trying to find a new job and doesn't want to lose you. I don't think there is anything wrong with asking you why/when etc you were at a place, she is probably just trying to have a conversation. The not letting it go after you redirected multiple times is a bit weird but so is redirecting on such a mundane question. Constant redirection tends to make me think that there is something to hide, even if there isn't.

75. AnonymousMay 15,2023 at 2:05PM UTC

    Way too many questions. I am a 56 year old supervisor of 20-30 somethings. I like to get to know my staff, but I would never badger them for information that doesn't seem like my business. If they are struggling with things, not well, mom isn't well, etc. then I provide opportunities for them to tell me what's going on but I never demand it, let alone show up places that I'm not welcome or blatently invited. I have been open that if they are looking for a new role that I am here to support them... they know they can talk to me!

76. KristinMay 15,2023 at 3:16PM UTC

    Does she maybe think you are interviewing with another company? That's the only reason I can think of that would possibly make any sense. Not as an excuse, but just a reason it's happening. How strange, that she's so insistent!

77. Montoya EvansMay 15,2023 at 7:35PM UTC

    The fact that you feel uncomfortable is enough. Don't allow anyone to minimize your feelings. She sounds creepy and invasive. You are there to work, not socialize. You have every right to keep boundaries and refrain from sharing personal information.

78. AnonymousMay 16,2023 at 4:43PM UTC

    My boss gets all in most of our business. Expect mine. I don’t allow that. She’s went to a doctors appointment with someone and wanted to go to gender reveal appointment with another. And many other creepy stuff.