I was given the most confusing letter informing me I was under investigation with a particular employee whose name was not disclosed nor was the violation I was potentially accused of disclosed and was asked provide a letter on the communication between this undisclosed employee referencing 3 dates. The letter was also written poorly as it sounded like I could not speak to anyone while at work and if I felt I was in a security risk to seek authority and call 911. I was in total shock when asked to read this letter. I looked up and said what is this about and who is the complaint and what policy did I violate. I was verbally told the name and what the 3 dates referenced that I was supposed to be responding my side to and the policy I potentially violated was the workplace violence policy. I was in HR for this company for 27 years and have been extremely in disbelief and distress over this and not sure if I should entertain this at all or how to answer when I don’t know what I violated to defend myself. Do I need a lawyer before I provide my response to this letter of directive to what I think my conversation was about? I’m totally in another zone right now that someone I thought I could be open and honest with in expressing my dislike for her actions towards me went to this extreme and caused me mental anguish as if I am a threat to her for being real woman to woman. Unbelievable but people will be people.

30 Comments

1. AnonymousJuly 20,2024 at 11:06PM UTC

   I think you should run this through to a higher up in HR. It’s as if you’re being threatened or bullied into admitting to something that frankly appears to be a one sided offense and someone’s hurt feelings. But I do have a question: who was it that delivered the letter to you in this manner?

2. Erin VegaJuly 21,2024 at 1:08PM UTC

   Consult an attorney, do not put anything in writing, and by all means do not start being Sherlock Holmes and try to get to the bottom of it. A claim has been brought against you and you are unsure what it even entails, you most definitely need to seek outside counsel.

3. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 2:34PM UTC

   Good question. I was wondering the same thing.

4. AnonymousJuly 20,2024 at 11:55PM UTC

   Wow, why on earth would the company see you as a potential threat and need to take things to such an extreme? I really hope they don't go any further.

5. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 12:10AM UTC

   Open and honest is a sure fire way to get in trouble

6. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 12:31AM UTC

   It is definitely concerning that you are being asked to provide a written response in the absence of a sufficiently specific written complaint.

   It is also concerning that your company advised you to contact 911 if you believed yourself to be in danger, without providing specifics.

   From what you write, it appears that your frank conversations with a co-worker have led the co-worker to accuse you of conduct that might have violated your company’s “violence policy.” Are you being accused of making verbal threats, of physical violence, of stalking, of menacing or something else? Depending on the law of your state, your alleged conduct could potentially lead to a criminal complaint against you, so do take this seriously.

   If you have the resources, it doesn’t hurt to speak to a lawyer.

   I recommend that you not respond to the complaint until specifics are provided as to what you allegedly did and what company policies you are alleged to have broken.

7. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 11:11AM UTC

   It does sound like you need a lawyer. Can you clarify what being open and honest about disliking her actions means? Otherwise hard to picture what happened here. If I read it right your open honesty was taken as a threat of violence?

8. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 11:03PM UTC

   Yes that’s what I’m saying and cried a little and she gave me a tissue and tried to comfort me by asking me how much time I had left to retire too. She said she would pray for me. I apologized for getting emotional and she accepted but apparently I did something else on other days like be direct and state facts on work is all I can think of. Don’t exactly know. I wish I could share letter I received with no details as I’m not making this up. I did speak to lawyer and he says don’t write anything other than the letter vague and nothing to respond to. He said make them write it in the letter and verbal don’t count. He said agree that I will participate in any investigation to prevent insubordination.

9. AnonymousJuly 22,2024 at 1:47PM UTC

   This makes a little more sense. You have your answer then. Follow what the lawyer suggests and go from there. Though I would also get out of that job as soon as you are able.

10. Anne Marie HJuly 21,2024 at 12:03PM UTC

    Since the letter seems to indicate there may be cause for concern about your safety there, I think you should start with your local police (local to your job's location as they would have jurisdiction)... . Let them see that you're not sure if there's any threat, or who you'd need to be on-guard against, so if there is a threat, you don't even know what that threat-level is. I believe a detective will see how much more info is needed and will contact your HR to get the missing details.

    Companies aren't exactly hiring the most qualified individuals these days due to DEI, so it's entirely possible an unqualified HR rep put that letter together and delivered it to you without proper review by a qualified superior. One thing for certain: it will be a part of your HR file so you can't leave it unaddressed but you can't respond without knowing the specifics so that you can properly address whatever actions violated company policy, and you can't know how to protect yourself if you don't know the source. I'm sure a detective will get to the bottom of this. After the coworker and incident(s) have been identified, don't have any unsupervised interaction with the coworker, always have a witness if you do, or if he/she asks to speak with you, or emails you, only "reply" by adding HR Rep and HR Director and ask for HR to facilitate a meeting between you and the coworker.

11. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 1:42PM UTC

    Due to DEI? Wow, you just couldn’t resist a racist comment, could you. Guarantee this person voted for the fascists who want to take your rights away.

12. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 12:05PM UTC

    Something is extremely off here. I would speak with an attorney. Do not put anything in writing. Be as careful as they are. They clearly have an agenda and most likely have their own counsel advising them carefully. This is much bigger than you know.

13. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 12:38PM UTC

    I learned the hard way that people you work with are not family. I hate this false, “ we’re a family here” nonsense that is pushed as”culture.” We are colleagues, and while a few have, outside of work, become really great friends, the rest are not. I was accused of creating a “toxic work environment” once (ai trained people under the HR umbrella), and when I was told an investigation was initiated, I was indignant and offended. It all panned out as it should have, and the person in question left the company, but I was cleared. It was humiliating though. They interviewed everyone in that training class, my coworkers, my former trainees. After that, any idea that we were a “family” was nonsense. I know they had to handle the complaint, but so many people treated me like I was radioactive rwhile things shook out. I would take the letter to a supervisor or if the claim is an agency start there. If you are in HR, you know all complaints have to be investigated by law, but if unfounded it will bear out. you might consult an attorney, but start with pullling the entire WPV policy to take with you.

14. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 12:41PM UTC

    Also, if you are in CA, the newest law on WPV has pretty clear definitions to meet to bear out as WPV. That said, any nutbag can invoke it.

15. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 12:53PM UTC

    I don’t understand a single thing about the narrative you’ve provided. You’ve been presented with a letter that says you’re under investigation for a mystery violation, you’re being asked to respond to communications with a mystery person on three different occasions. But then your boss discloses who launched the complaint and it’s actually work place violence?

    Something is WAY off about your story. You’re on the defense right now and a claim of mental anguish (which I’m sure you’re experiencing) is not a get out of jail free card

    You’ve disclosed a rift with you and this other employee. Are the claims in the letter valid? If not, you need to provide a metered response and deny the accusations.

    But be aware that WPV is very serious. It sounds like your employer is siding with the other person at this point.

16. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 9:20PM UTC

    Thank you. I know this sounds crazy but the letter I received from my director was real but didn’t disclose not one detail other than dates I was supposed to remember but could have been anyone from another department. I did not violate this policy as I know better having a history in HR. I’m more likely to excuse others for doing things to me when I know they are violating a rule or policy. So, unless one hurtful emotional day I had with this person and later apologized and she accepted lands me in violation of this policy, again wondering what’s she’s thinking happened here is all. The other 2 dates were only conversations no violence of any kind only making true statements to her she disagreed with me on and have backup. It’s as simple as that and can’t believe this!

17. AnonymousJuly 22,2024 at 12:39AM UTC

    Nothing is simple about this story. And the woman who reported you now has the upper hand. You’re unfortunately the one doing the explaining and it sounds like may lose this battle. Pls prepare to start looking for a new job.

18. AnonymousJuly 23,2024 at 9:37PM UTC

    This hurt emotional day is probably at the center of the investigation. You might have caused much more harm than you realize. Be prepared to hear about and try not to down play the damage.

    As for the crappy drafting of your letter.....just don't bother making that part of your position.

19. AnonymousJuly 22,2024 at 10:22PM UTC

    Please keep us posted as your situation sounds tenuous at best.

20. Dawn McDonnellJuly 21,2024 at 1:13PM UTC

    Cover all your basis. Get a lawyer. Don’t talk, sign or do anything , write email text or do anything that could be used against you. The may advise you to file a lawsuit yourself.

21. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 2:11PM UTC

    Dawn-serious question: file a lawsuit for what, exactly?? Once again, this board jumps to the default position of litigate. None of us here has anywhere close to enough info to make that recommendation. What damages do you think the OP can claim right now??

22. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 1:20PM UTC

    I am so sorry you are going through this! We are living in weird times. Most people are extremely sensitive and easily offended. If you really did say something that could offend anyone, respectfully apologize verbally only and say it will never happen again, and that you should have thought twice about it. AND don’t offer up an explanation or excuse. That minimizes the apology.

    Overall, chalk this up to be a lesson learned and never share personal opinions about anything to anyone at work or online, for that matter. No matter how much you believe you can trust the person. I also NEVER recommend filling out “anonymous” employee surveys to “see how we are doing.” Danger zone there.

    As an aside, many companies are employing anti-harassment and anti-bullying measures, not because they care, but because they don’t want to be sued. So they do go overboard.

    There used to be an expression ( that needs to come back), that said, “Never say or write anything that you would never want to see posted on a billboard.”

    Most of all, DO NOT let this eat away at you. It’s not you it’s, the times in which we live. Fear mongering is so much a part of our society now, everyone is on edge. Companies don’t want to lose money in any way, now more than ever. So everything is locked down tight. Your most important asset is your mental health and well-being. Don’t let anyone take that away from you.

23. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 1:20PM UTC

    Poorly written communications are problematic and often indicate that people are trying to scam you out of private information. If it was an email, follow the "scam check" by checking out the email address it was sent from (is it a company or something like that and not a "free" domain like Gmail, Hotmail, or AOL?). Is it written communication from an internal source (company HR or executive assistant)? If it is from an outside source, Google the source and see what you find. If it is a law firm, this makes no sense because communications from law firms are seldom "poorly written." Whatever you do, verify the letter's source or seek legal counsel before responding.

    Also, since it indicates Workplace Violence, something as simple as touching someone, a slight push to guide them in a different direction (I learned that one the hard way), or holding someone's hand without permission can be classified as workplace violence.

24. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 4:48PM UTC

    Well said!

25. AnonymousJuly 21,2024 at 6:21PM UTC

    Be very careful. Don't say anything and do not put anything in writing. Stop talking to the woman you were "woman to woman" with and do not comment on that talk.

    Depending on the corporate structure of the company, is there HR for corporate located elsewhere? Is the an anonymous hot line for reporting abuse of policy? You would be wise to get an attorney's advice.

26. Doris NwanneJuly 22,2024 at 8:38AM UTC

    Get a lawyer

27. Dawn McDonnellJuly 22,2024 at 6:25PM UTC

    Hi HR Gal,

    My personal take on this is someone wants you out be it true false or misleading information or misinterpreted. Get a lawyer and counter suit if this is important to you.

    Falsely accusing someone, defamation ect. It’s gonna cost u time & money so I would seek council on whether its worth it as You will have to Win.

    Calm and Be Professional

    1.2. Talk to a Lawyer

    1.3. Contact HR

    1.4. Get the Details of the Complaint

    1.5. Gather Evidence

    1.6. Find Witnesses and Present Evidence

    Be Honest and Cooperate with Any.

    1.7. Investigations

    1.8. Avoid Your Accuser

    1.9. Document Your Actions

    1.10. Do Your Job

    1.11. Challenge the Accuser's Credibility.

    1.12. Develop a Strategy for Fighting Against False Sexual Harassment Charges

    Develop a Defense Strategy if You've Been

    1.13. Charged with Criminal Action

    1.14. Turn the Charges Around

    1.15. Seek Compensation for False Accusations

    What Not to Do if Falsely Accused of

    2. Harassment

    2.1. Do Not Lie

    2.2. Do Not Confront Accusers

    2.3. Do Not Destroy Any Evidence

    Understanding False Accusations and At Will

    3. Employment

    4. Navigate The EEOC Claim Process

    5. Slander vs Libel

    6. Can I Sue for Being Falsely Accused?

    7. Can I Sue My Employer for False Accusations?

    8. What Qualifies as Defamation of Character?

    8.1. A Statement Is Made

    8.2. The Statement Is Published

    8.3. The Statement Is False

    8.4. The Statement Caused Harm

    8.5. The Statement Is Not Privileged

    Contact Mesriani Law Group if You Have

28. AnonymousJuly 22,2024 at 10:28PM UTC

    Evidently your recollection of a bad day sent someone running for the hills.

    It appears that your mental anguish is connected to whatever was said and acted out that horrible day and your subsequent apologies and reference following that day.

    These are most likely that dates in question and what is being viewed as threatening by the person you spoke to.

29. AnonymousJuly 23,2024 at 1:48PM UTC

    I've worked in multiple companies where manager-direct report 1:1 meetings were in an office or small conference room with the door shut, so that's not really practical advice.

    If people walking past can hear snippets of a conversation, it really opens the door for things to be misconstrued or eavesdropped on.

30. AnonymousJuly 23,2024 at 2:45PM UTC

    Perhaps you are truly not aware with how strong your "honesty" was perceived. While you downplaying your interactions with your colleague, it's quite possible you are being investigated for the mental anguish they caused others.