My husband wants me to go back to work, but I'm scared.

9 Comments

1. AnonymousSeptember 27,2021 at 5:17PM UTC

   Perhaps some therapy would help you with your ptsd?

   Very few employers would allow that type of behavior but I think with some therapy you would feel secure and confident enough to return to a work place. Maybe look for a remote position first.

2. CMP_88September 27,2021 at 5:39PM UTC

   You don't state how long it has been since you last worked, or the type of position it was, but there are numerous laws in place to protect you from physical harm, sexual harassment, and other terrorizing activities in the workplace. I can't believe that your husband would want you to return to THAT type of work environment! Consider your best skills and look for professional positions in larger or publicly funded organizations that abide by employment laws that protect their employees. Also, it is curious that your husband is telling you to go back to work. Be sure you are both communicating openly and honestly about the reasons he feels you must do so.

3. AnonymousSeptember 27,2021 at 5:41PM UTC

   I am very sorry for what you experienced at your last job, and I'm glad you are no longer in the unsafe work environment you were in. I do think seeking therapy to work through your fears would be a good idea; you might ask your husband to participate in a session or two (if your therapist recommends it) so that he can gain insight as to what type of support you need from him as well.
   If you need to work to financially contribute to the household, a remote job could be a good idea. Do keep in mind that not all workplaces are conducive to those behaviors. Whether remote or not, I'd recommend resources like glassdoor.com or Indeed.com reviews to see what former and current employers say about the culture of the company.

4. AnonymousSeptember 27,2021 at 5:53PM UTC

   It breaks my heart to hear that this happened to you! I agree with the comment below. I hope therapy can help you find your healing because no one should feel unsafe EVER. Definitely think your home support is equally important as you navigate all of this. Of course, you should do things that you feel ready to do! If you aren't ready to return to a work environment due to said reasons, I think you should also share these sentiments openly at home, too. However, if you're ready to return to the workforce, then definitely go for the help & support that you need in order to feel safe & confident about returning. Agree with the comment below about also seeking out remote roles -- they're plentiful these days, so even if you start off small with a part-time role and transition back into full-time, that might also be a good starting point for you. Since I don't know your home life/financial circumstances in great detail, I hope these suggestions help.

5. AnonymousSeptember 27,2021 at 7:25PM UTC

   I’m so sorry that happened to you.

   Have you discussed the lasting impact of this with your husband? Does he mean well and thinks once you get into a new job you’ll be fine? I agree with the other that discussing with a therapist is really the best thing to do. You have to take care of you first.

   Also, if and when you decide you’re ready, maybe start out part time or in a remote position. That might give you a little more sense of control.

   Hugs to you.

6. Rhonda RondeauSeptember 27,2021 at 7:50PM UTC

   You are going to need some therapy before getting back into the workforce. I know, I was so terrified of my boss I would almost pee my pants he was so scary and this was just on the phone. I know that sounds gross but when he yelled everything he said went out the window and I was left terrified.

7. AnonymousSeptember 27,2021 at 8:05PM UTC

   You're going to have to ask your husband for his understanding, and to find help for yourself.

   I wouldn't go to work at the risk of your personal health.

8. Jini LiSeptember 27,2021 at 8:20PM UTC

   Hello, I'm so sorry to hear about your traumatic experiences at your last position. It can definitely be challenging and scary to step back into the world. Besides seeking some counseling, I want to encourage you to take steps to move forward. You are brave and strong and have the ability to face the challenges that have been your tests. I don't know the details of your sexual harassment case, but can you find an organization with a female boss (assuming the offender was male) to help you get a start out there?

9. Joan Williams, Senior Talent Acquisition SpecialistSeptember 27,2021 at 8:57PM UTC

   I'm so sorry to hear what happened to you.

   What do you do and can you do it remotely?