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How hard would you fight to keep a job you love?

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Anonymous

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How hard would you fight to keep a job you love?

I love the work I do, I have great colleagues, and I had planned to stay here for several years. This job was not easy to land, either. I'm well-liked and respected and saw a great future.

Problem is....my boss is a conniving bully and is protected by higher-ups. There is one manager I like a lot who is a good person. We get along well. I've already asked them about changing teams but it doesn't sound possible.

So, what's next? I don't want this nasty boss to ruin a career I worked hard for. I don't want to have to job hunt and start all over again. HR already knows there's a problem because I had to file a complaint already. Do I really have to cut my losses? Is there any way to salvage this? The pension is great and I wanted to stay a few more years to get vested. I wish this awful boss would go. I was hired first and was very happy until she showed up and started to play games and manipulate management.

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  1. Iky

    Thank you for sharing. My heart goes out to you.

    Can you afford to quit?

    Can you afford to stay? If yes, what can you do to make it more pleasant for you? How can you make this boss less nasty with you?

    What are you learning from this experience?

    I am sending you positive vibes. Have an amazing day!

  2. Anonymous

    Please try to find another job. Maybe she'll go and you can come back, but take it from someone whose life was made a living hell, it will take a toll on you that might break you. It did me.

  3. Anonymous

    TLDR: Get out ASAP!

    Yes, cut your losses, and leave as soon as you can. Your bully & your bully's protectors are literally more valuable to the organization than you are (they get paid more). Unless the bully becomes a liability by setting up the organization for multiple lawsuits, they will consider you the liability.

    Salvage your sanity. Focus on your life outside of your job. Do the bare minimum to keep your paycheck and stay under the radar while you search for a different job. Limit contact with your bully boss, and document everything you possibly can, including your accomplishments. Check the laws in your state to see if you live in a one-party consent state, which means you would be able to secretly record all your interactions with the bully (you would be the one party who consents to the recording).

    If you are a "knowledge worker," do any extra work that could go onto your resume / c.v. on your own time and make it visible online via a web format that your employer can't touch. Even if you can only publish a project as a volunteer somewhere, try to do it.

    I wish someone had told me what I've just told you 3 years ago. I became suicidal and was eventually let go despite trying to please my impossible-to-please bully boss. I'm still unemployed, and I have PTSD from the experience. The cost to my physical and mental health could have qualified me for work-related disability, and my employer knew it. But I was the one who got fired, not the people who hurt me.

  4. Anonymous

    She has the support of management so that will not change. Especially since HR us already aware that you have issues. Management has chosen not to act and whatever HR knows has nit changed the situation.

    So, all you can change is you. You must find a way to stay since are resolute in not searching for a new role.

    You must develop a coping strategy and make peace with the situation. Acceptance is your friend here. You have no leverage and cannot impact the behavior of this boss. Maybe in time she will impact more people and accumulate more complaints that may convince management to let her go. Who knows. You cannot predict the future.

    All you can do is make your decision to stay and make the best of things. Tenure does not ever play into these situations.

    You want to stay? Make peace with the situation.

  5. Anonymous

    This is so common. Undermining bosses can be a toxic way to destroy your career. Align with your coworkers and get out. Find a coworker who can substantiate your accomplishments to use as a reference and cut your losses.

  6. Anonymous

    Original poster here. Thank you for the thoughtful feedback. It's so demoralizing. I just want to do what I was hired to do, do it well, excel, feel appreciated, and work toward the pension. Why does that have to be so hard? It's not like everyone at this place is making six figures and we all have to outperform each other. It's just a good, enjoyable job that pays enough. I'm not out for a big title with power. Why can't some people just let their workers do their jobs and go home.

  7. Anonymous

    Since you have decided to stay put regardless, I would develop a great life outside of work work so you can balance the negative work atmosphere.

    Do not fight her, her work style and do not complain about the situation. You will make yourself the target.

    You want to stay so do what you can to accept the situation and not make it worse.

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