A victim of favoritism???

Amelia

September 21,2022 at 5:50PM UTC

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A victim of favoritism??? I guess I just need support today. I applied for my retiring boss's VP of Marketing position in August. Found out towards the end of August I wasn't a candidate; wasn't even interviewed despite some of my qualifications (I oversee the web department, so a lot of technical expertise along with digital/brand marketing). I didn't take any particular offense, even though I got this news shortly after not getting a raise after an annual review.

Found out this morning the position was granted to my co worker, the previous marketing manager, who has less management experience than I do and very little technical/digital marketing expertise. I'm feeling extremely angry, hurt, betrayed- you name it. This situation screams of favoritism towards my co worker, now boss, and it makes me angry, but I feel I'm stuck in a culture where it's simply supported. If you have a word of encouragement for me, I would most appreciate it today.

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AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 6:41PM UTC
I'm so sorry that this happened. If they aren't particularly technical, and you are, it could be that the company wants you to be the one actually implementing the work because you're better at it. As backwards as it is, it's kind of a compliment to your skillset.
Take time to have a pity party/ feel sorry for yourself. Do things that make you happy/feel better (hang out with friends, hobbies, etc). If you're still feeling angry, dart boards with pictures of peoples' faces attached to them are pretty cathartic.
When you're feeling better, figure out how to make this situation more advantageous for yourself. Maybe you can work something out with the new manager where you can grow into/get some of the responsibilities (with extra pay of course) you were interested in having. Remember your new boss is not the enemy, the system is.
If (after you're no longer upset) you really don't think that you can make this a win win situation, start looking for a new job.
Good luck!
AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 7:07PM UTC
Take comfort in knowing it's not you or your skills.
Politics more often than not reign supreme inside companies.
AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 7:09PM UTC
Totally get it. You have every reason to be upset. It's justified. Favoritism is so rampant. It doesn't matter how hard you work or how devoted you are to your company/team. You have to suck up to the right people. It is what it is (in most places, not all), and that's been my experience. I personally refuse to suck up anymore and am trying to find a way to become my own boss.
I'm so sorry, btw. That blows. Virtual hugs to you, friend.
AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 7:24PM UTC
I'm sorry this happened! Ugh. Perhaps not getting this role right now is somewhat of a positive. Perhaps you are being protected from inheriting something that may not be for you or what you thought it was. In fact, something even better is on the way for you. The saying I love is "a dream deferred, isn't a dream denied."
You are enough and not getting this role doesn't define your ability to do the job. You know you CAN do this job in your sleep probably lol Something more amazing is coming your way (I know you don't see it yet) and it will all align to where you're meant to be! Keep your head up because everything will work itself out.
I also recommend you take some time to do some self care! Whatever that looks like for you -- pampering, meditating, napping, having a nice meal, etc. -- treat yourself with gentleness and kindness.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2022 at 1:35AM UTC
Technical expertise isn't as important as big picture judgment, and someone who has previously been in a higher level marketing job is a logical choice. It's not likely to be personal, and you have signaled your desire to move up, so there may be good things ahead through a different channel. If you can, try to get some experience in the more conceptual side of things or a certificate.
Ageism is also a possibility, but it would be hard to argue with your different qualifications.
AnonymousSeptember 22,2022 at 1:54PM UTC
It is possible that your coworkers had other skills that you are not aware of, which better fit what they are looking to do with this position. It's possible they are looking for someone less technical and more big picture to run the department, but they need your technical skills to push it forward. As you say, this coworker was the previous marketing manager, so that may be part of the succession planning. If you feel this strongly about it, then try to have a meeting with the decision makers for the promotion and find out why you were not considered. If for no other reason, at least you will know in the future what to change, and that is how I would frame it with them. It's possible you are right and it was favoritsm, but it's also very possible there are other factors that were considered so look at it from a different perspective.
In the meantime, do what you can do for the overall success of the team, but I would not go above and beyond to make the new person shine either. It's up to them to make it work or not work. So perform your job to the best of your ability and let the new person manage so the decision makers can get a real view of how they are doing.