3 months at new job AND miserable

5 Comments

1. AnonymousJanuary 1,2025 at 5:35PM UTC

   I'm sorry you're experiencing this type of environment. While I believe it's true that hurt people hurt people, I also believe they must be held accountable (and they typically hold positions of power because no one did hold them accountable---or this is their own company because no on really wants to work with them). This boss doesn't have to yell, but they will---at one point, they will. You are probably not alone in your thinking. Others may need the job. Others may like the environment. Here's the thing, it doesn't work for you so prepare to leave...soon.

   Quiet quit and shore up your personal supports to establish boundaries in your mental health. Head down and work while searching for other jobs. Get a list of all the company benefits and make use of them (professional development, gym membership, whatever you want/need). Memorize this statement "I'll do my best."---use it if ever anyone asks of you something of you that you cannot get to.

   If your boss/CEO ever treats you poorly (publicly or privately) you've got two choices:

   Stay quiet and plan to leave.

   Speak up. If you speak up, don't be rude. You could simply /confidently say, "I didn't hear you, could you repeat that?" Always keep a notepad near you either write it or say as you write, "I like to write down these comments." (It is a scare tactic--and legal evidence if needed- a savvy boss knows this and typically shuts up, but that doesn't mean you're safe).

   Document everything - dates, times, things that were said...key things...doesn't have to be a long description.

   I once had a colleague who was able to suck up to the boss, and then left. She told me she hated the boss but figured sugar was better than salt. If you have the mental capacity to fake it, that's an option too.

   Regardless, pay less attention to work. More attention to seeking new work- even transition work that pays your needs. (now is not the time to prioritize dream job, just safe job).

   The worst thing that could happen is getting laid off--which can suck---but you'd be eligible for unemployment.

   Focus on job hunting. Do not give this diva any more of your time.

   There are pros/cons to each. Don't beat yourself up whatever choice you make (and I bet you've been daydreaming about these scenarios).

2. AnonymousJanuary 1,2025 at 5:43PM UTC

   You can’t control what others say but only how you react. Stay in your job and make it your mission to keep applying elsewhere and get out. It’s not healthy for anyone to be around that. It’s like a mind game of sorts. Each day do something nice for someone else whether it’s a smile, holding a door open, etc. These acts of kindness from you attract kindness from others. I’ve been in companies that were so hard to go into daily. I eventually found my way out but it’s hard so I know what you mean. But just focus on finding a new job tolerate the crazy CEO and do your best. Keep applying and eventually this will be behind you! Sorry you’re enduring the madness. Lay low , be a yes person and fake it till you make it out. But focus on kindness always. It will come back to you!

3. AnonymousJanuary 1,2025 at 7:40PM UTC

   Put your effort and energy into the things you can control. That means your personal life, your career development (earn certifications, take classes, attend talks put on by local organizations, network with business leaders at chamber of commerce events etc). Volunteer in uour community. Support friends and family. Exercise, train for a charity run/walk. There are countless ways to improve your life, improve your lifestyle and broaden you influence and grow as a person.

   There is a reason that others don't invest in this manager's behavior. They have rich interesting lives and are highly invested in their priorities and what improves them.

   Why focus on someone who doesn't add value to your life? You have 100% control on what and who you prioritize. So you can choose to prioritize her or work around her. You can make excuses about why you have to invest anymore than the bare minimum or you can feel sorry for her misery from an objective distance. Again your choice completely. Healthy boundaries.

4. Jessica SmithJanuary 1,2025 at 9:36PM UTC

   Keep applying and hold on as long as you can. Don't give up something better will happen.

5. AnonymousJanuary 3,2025 at 3:35PM UTC

   It's easier to find a job when you have a job, as they say. Start looking - sounds like your values are not the same as this workplace. (but would stay since it is taking longer to find jobs - though the jobs report notes that fewer folks have applied for unemployment, it doesn't capture the people who've been on so long they don't get it anymore)