I have Asperger's Syndrome (Autism), a single mom and I am job hunting.

Anonymous

September 18,2022 at 6:57PM UTC

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I have Asperger's Syndrome (Autism), a single mom and I am job hunting. I have a job interview out of town soon. There is a local bus system that can take me and I plan on using it if all else fails. I am not entirely sure if I will get a ride from family. Everything is so up in the air right now with my moms illness. She has been having heart problems (afib) and has helped in the past so that complicates things.

I know that in a lot of ways I can rely on myself but it is hard with limited resources. In addition to that my family constantly lectures me about what job I should have, where the location should be, what my availability should be, what childcare arrangements I should make etc. I am really capable and smart enough to have the job that I am interviewing for. If I am making enough I know that money should not be an issue because I can just use Lyft or Uber for another part of the ride home when the buses stop running. My daughter is 13 years old and she is old enough to be at home on her own until I can get home.

What truly does make this challenging is that I may have to keep my job hunt a secret again. I did not think that I would have to do this again. I did that a lot in my 20s, I went to apply to places and decided not to tell my family. I even took on a temp position at the college I was at, without my mom or anyone else in my family knowing about it. If I get this job I may not tell my family right away.

I live in a pretty progressive community but they can also be hypocritical, so I really do have to keep it a secret. I know of some other people outside of my family that may try to sabotage the job hunt, so I have to keep it private more than usual.

I hate job hunting like this. There is only a select few people that I can talk to about this

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AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 8:18PM UTC
I’m really sorry about your moms illness and the complications about the job search.
It sounds like maybe the relationship isn’t as supportive from your family and maybe that’s why you aren’t sure you can get a ride ( however it is unclear to me if it is only due to your mothers Illness). Please let me know if I’m misunderstanding this aspect.
are their friends you can reach out to who can take you to the interview? You mentioned few people you can talk to about this. Can one of them help you?
I’m glad you shared your story. I think it’s great you’re Looking for a better job. And, you sound like an amazing mom.
however, i am not sure that I can provide much input here. My only recommendation is to keep making supportive relationships for yourself, especially if you feel you aren’t getting that from your own family. You deserve to have supportive people in your life.
AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 8:40PM UTC
In some ways they have been supportive but that was more in the past. The job interview I have is similar to what I did before and I ended up leaving that position. My family only knows bits and pieces of why I left. If I do get the job it sounds like it is most likely a job that ends at 5 or 6 pm.
AnonymousSeptember 18,2022 at 8:46PM UTC
It sounds like you are perfectly capable of getting yourself to your interview without mom's help or sharing with the family or community. Gidd luck.
AnonymousSeptember 21,2022 at 7:29PM UTC
My son has Asperbergers. I was really concerned when he started working how he would handle it. He is amazing! You got this. For the problems that Asperbergers can create, it also can have some unexpected benefits. My son can really focus on something he's interested in and he's really good on the phone talking to people. Sit down and discover what your talents/abilities are. You may be surprised.
In terms of your family, I understand. It may be an overprotective fear trying to shelter you or it could be a very toxic relationship. Either way, you have proven to yourself in the past that you can do this and will in the future. You are an adult making decisions that affect and benefit you and your daughter. There is no need for anyone else's feedback good or bad. Trust your instincts and keep your cards close to your vest. Don't give anyone the opportunity to make your feel bad or sabatoge your efforts. You Got This!