Male executives hoard funds for travel and training opportunities and cry poverty when I ask for something

7 Comments

1. AnonymousDecember 19,2024 at 2:28PM UTC

   Your boss is not your friend. If you get a knee-jerk "no" every time, consider how you ask. A lot of it is in the presentation. The best way to present it is to show how it would benefit the company more than it would help you. For training, offer to pass the new skills on through an internal training or presentation. For conferences, highlight proposed sessions that would give you ideas on approaching a vital project you are working on. If you want them to pay for these things, you have to "sell it" to them, showing how the benefits will outweigh the cost.

2. AnonymousDecember 19,2024 at 10:18PM UTC

   Sounds like you are working in what we in the south call, the good ole boy system. Do they also call you darl'n or sweetheart? This makes me mad for you.

   On a serious note, ask your boss what it will take for you to attend (name the industry event) and how might he help you gain professional development. Get documentation together and email it with the cost. Then when they say no, request this 1 year in advance if this is a yearly event, and request the approval for next year. However, I would go to the person you mentioned that can get you transferred. If not, you then have your answer. Time to seek a new company.

3. AnonymousDecember 26,2024 at 1:46PM UTC

   Been there, done that. You can't fix a boys club. I strongly suggest you dust off the resume and look for a new job where there are more women in leadership roles.

   You can try all of the suggestions below to attempt to reason with them. I suggest you save your energy for interviews.

4. GirlBossanova934974December 26,2024 at 1:52PM UTC

   Welcome to Corporate America 2025! In my view, this is NOT a gender issue. This is a MIDDLE MANAGEMENT issue where middle managers treat the company's money like it is their own money but at the end of the day, still collect a paycheck! Ownership with no responsibilities

5. AnonymousDecember 27,2024 at 2:17PM UTC

   Girlbossanova, I note your comments frequently cast broad assumptions across broad swaths of industry and fields. I am so sorry your career has led you to have such a jaded lens on the world. You are consistently , predictably negative. I hope this attitude is kept in check in the workplace or interviews. If you are experiencing employment challenges, then look within . Just thought you might appreciate feedback on how your comments can land.

   In this case you aren’t offering anything to the poster that will help her to navigate this situation.

6. AnonymousDecember 26,2024 at 5:34PM UTC

   Stand up for what you need. Show the why and the outcome of the benefit to the company for funding your needs too. The only difference here is you need to not take no for an answer. If your manager says no, add in HR or the skip level leader and get funded for upward mobility and the things you need for your success. If you are valued then they will give it to you, show them the why and then the result.

7. AnonymousJanuary 4,2025 at 9:53PM UTC

   If you already feel like you're hearing no all the time, it might be worth asking one of the people who seem to be hearing 'yes' what they're doing differently. Yeah, it's super likely that something unfair is happening, but if there's a chance they're presenting the question differently (or to someone else), it's probably worth asking.

   Secondary opinion: If you're working somewhere where you feel like you'd get fired for flagging what you feel is discriminatory practices, you should already be looking for something else.