What practical tips can you share on how best to deal with micro aggressions and retaliation in the workplace?

4 Comments

1. Tanika (Nika) Vasquez - (she/her)February 14,2021 at 10:20PM UTC

   1. Document every situation - date, time, who was involved, and who witnessed the situation.
   2. Depending on your comfort level and relationship, I would have a meeting with the person who committed the microaggressions/retaliation, to explain to them what they did and how it made you feel. If you are not comfortable with a one-on-one meeting, I would inform your manager and human resource representative. Your human resources representative may facilitate the meeting. If there is a time lag before a discussion takes place, then you may have to help the person who committed the microaggressions/retaliation remember the situation. Ask for clarification on what was said or done and discuss ways to move forward.

   I hope this helps.

2. Sidney BristowFebruary 14,2021 at 10:25PM UTC

   Write it down - keep a record. This could help in a few ways: You can mentally lay it down and not carry it around with you. There is a record for later in case you forget some details. Someone else can reassure you you're not just making things up. HR or the appropriate people can see if there's a pattern.

   Unfortunately I have not found that confronting the person helps. The best I got was "I'm sorry if I've offended you" and "it was not my intention to..." which served to infuriate me more instead of soothe.

   Bullies still exist. And people devoid of empathy for others keep a job somehow. I ended up finding a new place to work. Here, I have peace. I hope you find it too.

3. Arika LawrenceFebruary 14,2021 at 11:25PM UTC

   Agree with what was said above! I would definitely try to have a meeting with this person 1:1 to address the matter. If that can't be done or doesn't go over well, escalating the matter to your manager would be the next appropriate step. I'm leery about involving HR (at times) because it can get dicey. Of course, if you have a solid, neutral HR team, then by all means. In my experience, I have found HR is really there to evangelize the company's policies and procedures. When things end up in HR land, it's a matter of what is the best course of action to protect the integrity of the company's reputation and ensure a safe workplace environment. How you feel matters (because I can't stand microaggressions), but often times, that gets over looked by "policies." It would be good to review your company's policy on work culture, too! As the other women said above, documentation is necessary to validate your case. If you have emails or other colleagues who have witnessed this sort of behavior, then it's good to note that, especially, if this case ends up going to HR (make sure you speak with them in advance about your plans to confront the issue). Good luck to you!

4. AnonymousFebruary 15,2021 at 6:42PM UTC

   It usually comes down to culture of a company. Either the culture turns a blind eye or it doesn't tolerate it. Documentation works if you looking for a legal solution and hope to prove a pattern. In the end, people do not believe gossips if their experience with a person doesn't agree with complaints. Further, HR will ensure that Documentation is written off as a he said she said unless backed up with witnesses and evidence. I've found, working with complaints by employees, seldom do witnesses' accounts mirror the complaints.