I posted about an issue about being quietly fired.

Anonymous

August 21,2023 at 3:19PM UTC

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I posted about an issue about being quietly fired. https://fairygodboss.com/community-discussion/yErfOLTIC/am-i-being-quietly-fired

So I am meeting up with other workers I know in the other location and my manager is coordinating a group lunch tomorrow. I don’t really want to go, but don’t have a choice. My question is about one of the coworkers who is nosey and will say stuff on the side and blab- ie: she would tell me that is wrong I have to take over the front desk and I would quit if it were me. . She is the type who acts sympathetic, but I feel like she is saying that to get information. She has a big mouth and no way I am going to disclose that information nor my long term plans. How do I nicely shut her down?

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AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 3:39PM UTC
Don't say anything.
No need to shut her down. Just say OK and don't say anything more. She is not your supervisor.
There are always nosey coworkers. That doesn't mean you have interact with them. The harder you try to "shut them down" the harder they will push for information and details. You just look them in the eye and say oK and move on. No details and certainly no obvious push back. You control the messaging.
AnonymousAugust 21,2023 at 4:37PM UTC
This is good advice. I was once in a similar situation, however, that nosey associate was a direct report. They are looking for more information, and trying to navigate from that conversation can be difficult. Short, simple responses should be offered. Good luck.
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 1:20PM UTC
She's a nosey "Karen" and is either looking for you to say something that can be used against you, or telling you that things are REALLY bad and you should quit. Ultimately, she's trying to get you out of that job (likely insecurity, but maybe she's just a natural born bitch). Regardless, don't entertain her. As others have said, be brief but courteous. Find a non passive-aggressive way to deflect the conversation into another direction.
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 2:05PM UTC
If the questions come, simply say "Why do you ask?". That'll usually shock them so much they'll not ask another question.
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 3:45PM UTC
Just don't say anything at all.
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 4:15PM UTC
Repeat what they say verbatim back to them often when someone says something ridiculous, wrong , or sarcastic hearing it back shocks them into reality. Or remain silent and chuckle and roll your eyes.
AnonymousAugust 22,2023 at 9:03PM UTC
I like the idea of the silent treatment, but I'm more of one who confronts (it doesn't always go well, though). If she says, "If it were me...." I would probably come back with, "Good to know, but I'll be me." and let it go.
misskelleypAugust 23,2023 at 6:31PM UTC
LOVE THAT!!!
Liz MilneAugust 23,2023 at 11:40PM UTC
Just be noncommittal and she'll soon buzz off again -
Her: 'I'd quit if they made me do that?'
You: 'Oh, really? Okay.' etc
Shelby CAugust 24,2023 at 1:10PM UTC
A simple "that's interesting" or "thanks for sharing" and walking away always worked for me.
Mele SalmondAugust 25,2023 at 1:14AM UTC
Ignore her and always look and act busy when she comes around. Stare off with 2 minutes of silence. She will eventually buzz off.
Cynthia Armistead NewmanSeptember 9,2023 at 11:36AM UTC
When I had to work in an office with chatty co-workers, I just kept my eyes on my computer screen after an initial greeting and responded monosyllabically, if at all, to their overtures. They got the message pretty quickly that way.