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A Frustrating Interview Experience (long story)
This happened a little over a year ago, but it’s bothered me ever since. And I felt incredibly hurt and insecure after it happened.
I went in to interview for an Office Administrator position. I have a background in customer service, I’m well versed in email and telephone etiquette, and I carry myself with respect and poise. When I went to the interview, I started out okay! It was with the current office administrator who would be moving to another position. She and I got on amazingly. We had a very similar idea about what our goals were, and spoke about what it was like to be 20 somethings in the current job market.
This was the first part of the interview. The second part of the interview was with one of the higher ups. He was an older man, who claimed to be strict and fair. I thought okay, this is a financial firm. That’s to be expected.
He looked over my resume and said that while he liked my experience, he asked for an interview because he wanted to see if I had more experience than I listed.
I was confused. Because that’s....not a reason to call someone for an interview. You could call me and ask me for resume clarification. Maybe shoot me a message, so I don’t have to drag myself into the city, in the rain, for an hour.
So...we talk, I put my best foot forward explaining my experience and how it could apply to the position. He essentially says “Mmm I was hoping you’d have a lot more experience, I like that you’re new because you’d have a fresh foundation to build on, but I feel like there may be other experienced people that may fit the role.” Then he says, “Don’t think that this is for any other reason than your resume. I don’t want you to take it the wrong way.”
????
If you were okay enough with my resume to call me in, only to say I’m under qualified when you see me face to face, how else am I supposed to take it? It hurt my feelings, because it felt like he was judging me and my capabilities entirely on what I look like. I took a huge hit on my confidence, and I felt
embarrassed.
Maybe I’m overreacting and missing something, maybe I’m jumping to conclusions. But it wasn’t lost on me that the young woman I spoke to said that she felt I would be good for her current position, while the older man said he felt I wasn’t qualified.
RachellePayroll Accountant ,Phoenix AZ
423
07/13/20 at 10:55PM UTC
Tell me what did the other young lady look like? just her physical description. body type hair length clothing type
NAJA-MICHELLE INNISFlexible and resilient, and eager to learn!
112
07/21/20 at 4:48PM UTC
She was a thin blonde woman. The same age as me, super sweet and cheerful and well put together.
Julia PirasCreative buying assistant in London.
102
07/09/20 at 10:56AM UTC
Naja Michelle I hear you sister. You applying for an admin role while not having a direct office experience is not the sole reason why you didn’t get the job. What I see happening is that the requirement for entry level roles are different according to the demographic you belong. In other words what you experienced was discrimination. Offices in London are full of “not-qualified” admins who got their jobs thanks to PAYOLA and handouts. We know this demographics and we covered this topic through BLM. We have to be honest about it .
Continue to seek for improvement and never feel that you have to work twice as harder just because you black. Okay
Barb HansenStartup Product, Growth & Strategy
6.65k
07/08/20 at 2:56PM UTC
That interview was him-problem not a you-problem and I would consider this a bullet dodged.
Carolyn HipkinsOnline Community Manager | Executive Assistant
383
07/08/20 at 2:49PM UTC
Sounds like some discrimination there. Let this experience go and be thankful you dodged a bullet.
Jamilla Segar
658
07/09/20 at 11:18PM UTC
It definitely sounds like discrimination and I can relate to Naja-Michelle’s story. Yes she dodged a bullet but I understand why it caused her grief. It’s unfortunate that it even went down that way!
Mich.Fr.Personal assistant with 13+ years experience.
359
07/08/20 at 1:32PM UTC
Naja-Michelle, first off, you got a second interview, which is awesome! I can't tell you how many first rounds I went through before FINALLY landing my current position. That being said, this man sounds like one of the partners at my last company. The hiring manager there was told specifically she had to hire a "woman who was beautiful, had a nice smile, and who was well endowed" for the receptionist position. The male partners reminded her this person would be the face of the company and the person who would be seen first by visitors. Her skills were secondary. SO MANY ISSUES WITH THIS!!! I understand your frustration with what this man said to you, however this wasn't your job. There is something bigger and better out there for you. Be patient and it will find you. Cast as wide a net as you can, and network. Reach out to staffing agencies who will coach you how to handle these situations in the future, or if they are good, will not send you to interview with these types of firms. I know it's hard not to take it personally, but the problem is this man, not you. You are better off.
Eileen Haas-Linde
36
07/08/20 at 1:24PM UTC
I have had interviews where I knew that the person was just trying to find a reason not to hire me. Maybe they already had a specific person in mind, maybe they wanted someone older/younger/male. I had a dismissive interview with a small law firm and later was hired by one in the top tier. You wouldn't want to work for them anyway.
Katie KristlCustomer Support & Success Professional, Denver
137
07/07/20 at 9:03PM UTC
First, I agree with other commenters that you were probably better off not getting this position. Anytime you're uncomfortable in an interview or with someone you'd be reporting to/working closely with, you have to trust your gut.
It's very possible that the way this person conducted himself was "off" or you just got a strange vibe. That said, I'd like to consider the other side of things:
My former company relied heavily on recruiters/HR to do a pre-screen and if things were favorable, we would call the candidate in for an in-person interview. I myself have done interviews with candidates that I wasn't quite sure about from their resume and I wanted them to "paint me a picture" about how their experience tied directly to the position I was hiring for. Some told a great story and connected the dots, some not so much.
It's within the realm of possibility that the answers you provided were not quite what this person was looking for in the role. Or perhaps his perception of your confidence in your answers or what he thought was an extra long pause or even your communication style was just not what he was looking for in this position. Hiring is not a perfect science and sometimes it's those little things that make the difference in an interview.
I don't say this to diminish your experience in any way! I do the same dissection when I leave an interview. We're all being judged in an interview setting.
I truly hope there wasn't anything more questionable going on in his interview. I hope that you can put it past you so that it doesn't continue to trouble you.
I would encourage all of us to be self-aware and improve upon the things we can and also try to consider all sides of a situation.
NAJA-MICHELLE INNISFlexible and resilient, and eager to learn!
112
07/07/20 at 10:33PM UTC
When he told me that he felt that I didn’t have enough experience, I completely understood. It was when he decided to slip in that “it wasn’t for any reason other than my experience” and that I shouldn’t take it personally, it made me hesitate.
Because I wasn’t accusing him of anything until he mentioned it first.
It made my mind flip from “alright I get it” to “well, now I think it might be something else, since you felt the need to emphasize that it wasn’t.”
It’s like going out of your way to defend yourself when you don’t need to.
Katie KristlCustomer Support & Success Professional, Denver
137
07/08/20 at 4:25PM UTC
Totally reasonable assumption!
It's very possible this person was trying to cover for something and didn't do a particularly good job of it.
I definitely wouldn't let it keep bothering you - probably a blessing in disguise not getting that position.
Tiffany RasmussenSenior Business Analyst with 8 years experience
193
07/07/20 at 7:41PM UTC
His phrasing and methods sound unprofessional. I wouldn't take it to heart a minute longer! If he passed over you based on seeing you in person, he's out of line and that's on him, not you.
Lindsey Hamm"I don't fail. I either WIN, or LEARN."
276
07/07/20 at 6:38PM UTC
In my current role, I am an administrative assistant. I had absolutely no experience in the role itself when I came over, but I did have distinguished experience in 90% of the areas that they were asking for experience in, so I did get the job. (and I love it) I have a couple of questions though for you.
1. Did you ask him what skills and areas of expertise he was looking for in an admin?
2. Did you follow up 24-48 hours after the interview and thank him/solicit him for feedback?
3. Did you ask for folks to send letters/emails of recommendation? (I know this sounds silly, but I did this. I had a director and a communications head send an email/call the interviewer to speak for my work, and my interviewer was super impressed)
I look at him calling you in as a way for him to see what potential you have and what you could bring to the position. Giving you a chance to sell your brand in a face to face interview. He very well could have already had someone in mind for the role (which is unfair) but you wouldn't have known that. Honestly, with this happening sooooo long ago, I think that you need to stop beating yourself up over it. I don't believe you didn't get hired because you weren't the right person, I think many times, someone else always has more experience or has networked more than we have, and in turn, we get overshadowed. Don't let this one interview make you or break you. Take it as a lesson learned, even though you didn't get the job. I always say, we get the job we are meant for. I was turned down for 4 jobs before I got this one I have now, and I felt so defeated. One of those jobs, the interviewer ended up being a mentor for me, and we still have a relationship to this day. I truly believe he regrets not hiring me! LOL But you are a strong, independent, smart, woman and I know that you have the potential to land the role that you want. But you can't let a negative mindset stand in your way girl. Don't hold onto this anymore. Take that resume, burn it, throw it in the fireplace, and start new!!! That way you can cleanse yourself of the lingering feelings that you have. I wish there was more I could say or do, but don't give up and know your worth. Don't let one interview define you!!! You have so much to offer, you deserve the job you want and love.
NAJA-MICHELLE INNISFlexible and resilient, and eager to learn!
112
07/07/20 at 7:01PM UTC
This was a really nice message to read. I think I was ultimately worried that I’ve been overthinking it. But to answer your questions:
1. I asked him about what he was looking for in a potential employee. I remember him emphasizing a leadership role, as in a supervisor. At the time, I was working at a Starbucks that was slow and not looking for another supervisor. Considering how often I did tasks that supervisors needed to do, I was frustrated that I couldn’t have any upward mobility. That’s why I chose to leave. I explained that to him (as positively as I could) and emphasized that I’m looking for something that will best for leadership skills I’ve already exhibited.
2. I did follow up, but I never received a response. In fact, I never actually found out about the job going to someone else until I reached out to them a second time.
3. I think I was afraid to ask for letters of recommendation, at the time. My relationship with my boss at the time wasn’t great. But now that I have more experience than I did before, I’ll definitely take that into consideration!
Lindsey Hamm"I don't fail. I either WIN, or LEARN."
276
07/07/20 at 7:38PM UTC
Maybe you dodged a bullet... Someone who doesn't even take the time to write you back from a thank you/feedback email? Yeah... I think that it was meant for you NOT to get the role! Keep in mind, any volunteer roles or extra "above and beyond" job roles that you do, you can also ask those people who work with you in those settings to write you recommendations. The Communications Head that I had write my recommendation, I never actually directly reported to, she was someone I got to showcase my talents to through several committees at my workplace such as the giving tree, our financial literacy program for the community, and our Women's Network. So keep that in mind. But yes, based on your answers to what I asked, I definitely would not stress this girl! I don't take much stealth in those who don't have the time to give feedback. Call me crazy, but I think it's vital to give someone that. (for reasons like yours where your left wondering what you did) I really do hope that you find your dream job and that you can move past this. I think you have what it takes to be an admin!
Joann HalpernWide variety of experience in school of life!
270
07/08/20 at 1:06PM UTC
Your opening phrase said it all: you for sure dodged a bullet, OP! Take this as a learning experience, & keep your head up. :)
Melissa BoillotPassionate people leader and business partner
236
07/07/20 at 4:58PM UTC
I am sorry that this happened and the only thing I can say is... Aren't you glad you didn't have to work for him everyday? Cultural alignment has been so key to my work happiness and maybe this saved you from being at an organization that would have been awful to work at. Don't let one person shake your confidence, hold your head up high and keep moving, you are amazing!
NAJA-MICHELLE INNISFlexible and resilient, and eager to learn!
112
07/07/20 at 5:32PM UTC
You make a great point! If I still got the job despite what he did, I'm not sure I would want to work under someone who had that perspective. Because, if it wasn't directed at me, it would be directed at someone else. And that's not right.
Melissa BoillotPassionate people leader and business partner
236
07/07/20 at 5:36PM UTC
Totally agree, and it isn't worth your mental health to work in a toxic environment with senior leaders that aren't respectful, inclusive and forward-thinking.
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