Has anyone ever been told they were "not a fit" and what it actually means?

56 Comments

1. Janet ParkhurstMay 10,2025 at 10:44PM UTC

   Apologies! I meant to ask, "Has anyone ever been told they were "not a fit," and/or know what it actually means?" Thank you.

2. maria roseMay 11,2025 at 5:34PM UTC

   If you are the type of person who for lack of better wording beats their own drum regardless of the “norm expectation “ then you are considered not a good fit for that specific situation. Best example I can use is if you have a fashion style sense that isn’t following the uniform style of the rest of the workplace then you are not a good fit for that setting. You may have great work skills but the way you interact with the team makes you not a good fit. What you need to recognize is that the place that pays your paycheck has an expectation of standards that you have to adapt to and you can’t expect them to adapt/accept your deviation. You should have known this from your initial interview prior to starting and noticed how well your teammates were around you beyond normal conversation . Unless you never received orientation, ( even if it was reading pages) you were given an expectation of what the company wanted. No company does an individual one-on-one work evaluation beyond the orientation. You never mentioned whether you received any PIP reviews of your work performance but it sounds like you may have and didn’t find them helpful and now don’t understand why you were not fit for the job, because you didn’t adapt yourself to be a team member as expected when asked.

3. AnonymousMay 11,2025 at 2:31AM UTC

   That your vibe does nit mesh with the company. That your demeanor was different than the team. It's different not necessarily bad.

   You know when you walk into a pub ir Cafe and you instantly feel relaxed and at home? That's the same thing. It's a fit. It's hard to explain.

4. AnonymousMay 11,2025 at 5:10AM UTC

   They simply say "not interested" in your candidature by politely saying "not a fit". It could even mean your price is high or you are overqualified. If an existing boss says that then it may mean they are doing or going to do other types of work.

5. AnonymousMay 11,2025 at 1:37PM UTC

   When I’m having that sort of an issue it’s usually a problem with soft skills or decision-making. For example on decision-making I ask for a draft of a policy about XYZ and after 2 delays I get a 10-12 page dissertation on the issue, when clearly all the other policies are 1-2 page bulleted documents. Or my boss calls and asked why my subordinate introduced a complex and Byzantine process change in response to a single incident that had a contributing factor not likely to recur. These are issues that require more close supervision and when they are in a role that shouldn’t, it’s an issue.

6. AnonymousMay 11,2025 at 7:46PM UTC

   Are you saying you resigned from your job and the person who hired you told you that you were not a fit? I would have asked them why did you hire me? Sounds like you weren’t there long and you were not happy. It’s not appropriate at all that they said that. Unprofessional. Hope you found a better place to work.

7. AnonymousMay 11,2025 at 10:55PM UTC

   "Not being a fit" means the employer, or the people you'd be working with, would not be comfortable having you around.

8. AnonymousMay 12,2025 at 1:01PM UTC

   Someone can look like a great match on paper but once they are in the role something just doesn't mesh. As many below said, sometimes it's a culture thing, sometimes it's a team vibe thing. Sometimes it's a darker bias or bigotry. Sometimes it's because someone oversold themselves on their resume, claiming experience or expertise they didn't really have.

   Ultimately, if you were unhappy in the role then it wasn't a good fit for either you or the company.

9. GirlBossanova934974May 12,2025 at 1:31PM UTC

   BEFORE you ask this question, be sure you look around the office. Does the whole office look and sound the same? Same age group? Same gender? Same race? Same ways of doing things? This is what "cultural fit" really is. An underhanded way of circumventing the so called diversity statements of most companies. The fact that your former manager said this about you on your way out points to a problematic passive aggressive issue with this manager. As we used to say........"Sour Grapes"! Instead of being gracious, this manager chose to be small minded and petty.

10. AnonymousMay 12,2025 at 4:47PM UTC

    This just sounds like something someone spiteful says because they're mad at you for leaving. I'd try not to linger on it too much.

11. Elise PilkingtonMay 13,2025 at 12:12PM UTC

    You were unhappy there. I'd say that is the definition of "not a good fit". It can go either way.

12. AnonymousMay 13,2025 at 12:21PM UTC

    I have been an interviewing manager for my teams over the course of 40 years. "Not A fit" can be used when they don't really have a valid answer - it can be a feeling, etc - it is nonconfrontational. When I say "not a fit" it is used internally with HR or my boss. It means your experience, personality, skills, strengths, weaknesses, or behavior in the interview will not work with the team I have or in our corporate culture.

    When I am hiring, I take the job description and list out my non-negotiables, negotiables, and nice to have skills, experiences, knowledge that I want ( I don't want a clone of me ). I want someone who is open to new things, willing to learn, willing to pitch in as needed, be part of the team. That does not mean a person has to go to lunch with their coworkers or go out after work with them - it means while at work they foster teamwork.

    One person I interviewed was so fixated on her lunch and two breaks and kept circling back around to that topic. I already stated to her - 1 hour lunch and two breaks were hers to schedule as she liked - the only rule was she could not take the lunch and two breaks together at the beginning or end of day. Needless to say Not a good fit.

    Another interview - I asked the candidate how she handled a situation where she put her foot in her mouth ( I didn't want to know what she did or said) I just wanted her to tell me how she rectified the situation. Her first response was SH** happens. While I agree, it was not what I would have expected to be said in an interview. If she was willing to cuss in an interview how was she going to handle co-workers, suppliers, and customers. Not a good Fit.

13. Stephanie ConnellyMay 13,2025 at 1:04PM UTC

    Love this! Going to put this advice to use when hiring, maybe firing, and annual reviews

14. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:37AM UTC

    It's a great answer, but I was told I was "not a fit" AFTER I'd resigned. But that's okay, I've always wanted to know what the phrase means in EVERY circumstance. I'll keep it in mind, going forward. Thank you.

15. Marguerite FarleyMay 13,2025 at 12:21PM UTC

    It seems like they achieved their objective, you were unhappy, you left and they decided to be spiteful and put this in your head as a parting "gift". Consider yourself fortunate to be out of there and forget it.

16. AnonymousMay 13,2025 at 2:29PM UTC

    Maybe not spiteful, but certainly an ignorant comment to make AFTER a resignation was tendered.

    To the OP: try not to overthink the callous comment. It should not have been uttered.

17. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:35AM UTC

    I do, Marguerite! Thank you.

18. AnonymousMay 13,2025 at 12:47PM UTC

    I think it's a corporate catchphrase that's basically saying that a candidate or employee doesn't or didn't catch on with the company policies or culture or the company didn't catch on to them. While there's the temptation to take it as a negative, but if you really think about it, just like you wouldn't get along with certain people or groups, it can also apply to work environments too.

19. Laura BorthMay 13,2025 at 1:00PM UTC

    This happened to me—my boss saw how much potential I have, but didn’t see it play out. They may see that you are smart and capable, but not see those things in your work. I did actually change roles and now my potential and work line up more. But…most times it just a cya

20. Rachel TMay 13,2025 at 1:50PM UTC

    You weren't a fit after you already quit? That doesn't make any sense to me.

    "Not a fit" is usually in terms of interviewing and hiring. I've been told that when my salary requirements didn't match their ability to pay, when they wanted specific areas of expertise (warehouse or fleet management) that I didn't possess, or when I just didn't have the same working style as the hiring manager. None of it ever felt personal, just like they don't want to be too specific about the exact criteria they were nixing me on, and I sometimes got additional feedback from the recruiters after the fact.

21. JackieMay 13,2025 at 2:46PM UTC

    This happened to me more than once when a company wanted to "let me go." I think it is a safe way for companies to fire someone who hasn't done anything wrong but for some reason, someone doesn't like them.

    Saying it to someone after she resigns is unusual, in my experience, unless they were simply agreeing with you. "Oh yes, it was not a good fit."

22. Rachel TMay 13,2025 at 5:59PM UTC

    I can see "not a fit" being used for terminations that aren't for cause, especially if an employee is still in the probationary stages of employment, but if she already resigned, it sounds so weird to me.

23. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:32AM UTC

    Thanks, Rachel. It didn't make any sense to me, either. Especially after 2 1/2 years of actually doing the job successfully.

24. AnonymousMay 13,2025 at 2:35PM UTC

    A box of "white" crayons" statement right there is bigotry & discriminatory.

25. AnonymousMay 13,2025 at 2:42PM UTC

    I was never a "fit" for a previous role but was hired when a client forced the company to create the position. It took 5 years of increasing stress before the senior management addressed the situation - their solution was to replace me with a "yes man". Sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the grease, other times it gets replaced. Onward and upward!

26. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:31AM UTC

    Well, I WAS assertive and defended myself when necessary, and refused to work on my day (yes, 1 day per week) off or attend a holiday party that just happened to be scheduled for my "day off." I think they expected me to just roll over and relinquish my personal time off in order to keep the job.

27. AnonymousMay 13,2025 at 3:19PM UTC

    It seems like it was their way of tit for tat-ing you as you were leaving. Why not ask for their version of what that meant to them? Then you can take that feedback and use it for meaningful information as you seek a better new employer.

28. AnonymousMay 13,2025 at 3:27PM UTC

    I would not dwell on it. To be a fit is to align with the company's mission, vision and values and someone's interpretation of them.

29. Rosa GoesMay 13,2025 at 6:55PM UTC

    "Not a fit" is code for many things. In this case the manager was being critical so they can feel better about themselves. Ignore it. You did the right move.

30. Tamarra HolmesMay 14,2025 at 3:00PM UTC

    This is exactly what I came to say. You stated your manager told you this AFTER you gave resignation. The manager was hurt & wanted to make you feel like you were the problem to avoid any accountability for what may have led to your resignation. Honestly, you were moving on anyway so it doesn’t matter why you were told that. Maybe you weren’t a fit and that’s exactly why you left.

31. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:27AM UTC

    Thank you, Tamarra. Actually, THEY weren't a fit for ME. I've certainly worked at better places!

32. Kathryn ThomasMay 14,2025 at 12:21PM UTC

    Most likely they want you to dim your light.

33. AnonymousMay 14,2025 at 1:25PM UTC

    Or you're just not a fit.

34. AnonymousMay 15,2025 at 12:43AM UTC

    That’s very true. Happened to me more than once.

35. Chre M. Davis, M.S.Ed.May 25,2025 at 7:40PM UTC

    This was my thought! I love the quote - "Why fit in when you were born to stand out?" - Just because someone is "not a fit" does not mean they wouldn't either make a change for the better or add something that was not there before and no one realized was missing! But unfortunately, many use this as a tactic to remove employees or simply not allow growth.

36. AnonymousMay 14,2025 at 12:51PM UTC

    I have been told this several times after interviews. Its only meaning is "We don't want to hire you for reasons we aren't willing to share because disclosure could result in legal liability that we wish to avoid."

    Their reasons for not hiring you could be that they didn't think you were qualified, they didn't approve of your personal hygiene and/or grooming, you didn't match a demographic they were looking for, you somehow gave off a bad vibe, or anything else.

37. Alley KeosheyanMay 14,2025 at 2:58PM UTC

    That pretty much sums it up! IMO it's corporate double-speak for "you're too old, too assertive, too shy, too fat, too short, too tall, too demanding, too compliant," too anything!

38. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:25AM UTC

    But I WAS hired. And worked for over two years... I was told this after having given my notice of resignation.

39. AnonymousAugust 13,2025 at 12:44PM UTC

    It's strange that they would tell you that at this point, but it means the same thing in this situation as it would have had they not hired you-they want to distance themselves from you without having to give you a concrete reason as to why.

40. AnonymousMay 14,2025 at 1:06PM UTC

    The reason it is vague is because it covers so many areas. It can mean you don't have the level of education, or years of experience, certification, or company cultural fit they are looking for. It can also mean you don't have the personality or lifestyle type they are looking for. Sadly in my experience as a recruiter , some hiring managers have specific personality types they are looking for. I don't agree with that way of judging a candidate but it does happen. In your situation it made no sense for the hiring manager to say that when you were turning in your resignation. It seems petty as the candidate is already leaving. Sound like you are better off having left.

41. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:24AM UTC

    Yes, thank you. It was a no-win situation for me.

42. AnonymousMay 14,2025 at 1:23PM UTC

    I've been in HR for 30 years and I've seen this mean many things. Recently, I've seen new employees come into a cohesive, successful team that works well together and create discord. I can think of 3 right off the bat that did not make it through their Introductory Period, even after coaching, mentoring and multiple chances to improve. Total lack of soft skills and self-awareness.

    I've also seen "not a fit" mean: lacking in critical job skills, personality clash with manager, entitlement, laziness, and a ton of uncomfortable, possibly intangible issues that no one wants to put in writing.
    Sometimes it's a company issue, sometimes it's a candidate / employee issue. I'm not saying that this is right or wrong, sadly it just is. Successful employment is a compromise for the employer and the employee.

43. Muhammad BaaithMay 14,2025 at 1:59PM UTC

    Thank you for this, it is right on point

44. AnonymousMay 14,2025 at 1:53PM UTC

    I was told that I "wasn't a fit" after my company restructured and I was sent to work in a new department. This was a position that I would have never applied to. They handpicked me and KNEW that I did not have a car; I took public transportation. Day 1 the manager asked me to go run some "personal" errands for her that entailed about a 3 hour roundtrip drive. I was also told that if I was asked I was to say that I was picking up office supplies (she did not want upper management to know she was trying to send me to pick up artwork for her condo). I explained that she already knew that I do not drive to work, we discussed it prior to my move to the department, and that I had no way to do what she was asking. She then told me to "make arrangements for a ride". I asked if she would be compensating me for the ride and she said "no, it's part of your job." I told her that I would never take a job that expected me to drive around the city on my own dime with no compensation for fuel, Uber, etc. I was then told that she knew how much money I make and I had until the end of the week to purchase a car. I explained that a new car was not a priority for me at the time as I was paying off medical bills and funeral expenses for my parent who had recently passed. The following week I was told that I "wasn't a good fit". Despite this, she refused to let me return to my old department and held that line over my head for the next year until I finally quit.

    So, in my case, I felt the phrase was used as a bullying tactic.

45. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:23AM UTC

    Wow. You were totally honest about the no transportation issue from the get-go. This DOES sound like bullying. She leaped on that issue to make it impossible for you to do the job. And doing the boss's personal errands? That went out with secretaries in the 1950s.

46. rgstaffing@bellsouth.netMay 17,2025 at 9:16PM UTC

    Actually, that is really not true. There are many jobs that have personal errands but the pay usually compensates.

47. AnonymousMay 16,2025 at 7:20PM UTC

    Sad to say ..you were set up from the beginning. And yes, it seems as if bullying was a factor. Why? Because they could. You are better off. Good luck.

48. rgstaffing@bellsouth.netMay 14,2025 at 2:19PM UTC

    "Not a fit" means that we are not going to hire you or we are going to let you go and we are not going to be specific.

49. AnonymousMay 14,2025 at 6:47PM UTC

    She’d already resigned when she got this feedback.

50. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:06AM UTC

    Thank you, Anonymous. Some people don't read completely...

51. rgstaffing@bellsouth.netMay 17,2025 at 9:15PM UTC

    It's odd. there was no reason to say that... I would look for a reference from the company for down the road who will not say that.

52. Janet ParkhurstMay 16,2025 at 3:18AM UTC

    Dear Maryann,

    Thank you for your impactful remarks. The trouble with this role was, I didn't work in an "office environment." I was very much like an outside sales person, i.e., "in the field," so to speak. So I didn't get to experience the company culture, per se. All I know is that I did the job well, my clients/customers/prospects liked and respected me, and I pretty much got along with everyone. The trouble was, I didn't feel at all appreciated and no, they didn't place value of any kind on their employees. The boss was a young woman who ruled by being rude and condescending, and issuing cutting criticism. I was told she treated everyone this way! Well... except for my male colleague, who could do no wrong. He walked on water. Customers would call me and tell me he was so rude they would not do business with him. And, yes, like you, I've only experienced this one or two times. The two women who trained me bragged that they were both "bitches." ??? My boss told me early on to "lose the empathy," even though it was a "people business!" ??? Did I make mistakes? Of course. But nothing epic! It was a father/daughter-run business and I always had the feeling the father was the one who gave the nod to my hiring and the daughter... maybe not. IDK. But it doesn't matter now. Water under the bridge. Not everyone will like us in this life. I feel I was viewed as "too nice." But you are right. Life is too short. As soon as I realized it was a lose-lose situation, I got out. Thank you for taking the time to answer my post!

53. AnonymousMay 16,2025 at 4:00PM UTC

    It means whatever they want it to mean, but know they can't be sued for saying that vs whatever they're really thinking. In my experience, it can mean anything from "You're not the "Yes-Person" I want on my team", to "I'm threatened by you", to "I just don't like you"; but could also mean anything else that anyone else has commented on above too.

54. Janet ParkhurstMay 18,2025 at 4:57AM UTC

    Hi,

    I just want to thank all of you in the FairyGodBoss community who took the time to respond to my post. It really made me feel quite a bit better and, yes--empowered me to move on, as they say. And just to clear things up.... I DID ask what "You're Not a Fit" meant, in general so, to those who responded as if the scenario were an interview for the job, I get it and appreciate it. (That's where we most often hear it.) I only offered my situation of being told I "wasn't a fit" when I was leaving, because, as so many remarked, it was not only unnecessary, but a very strange thing to say (at that point in the game). Again, thank you all. Going forward, I will try not to take such a remark personally. Janet

55. Chre M. Davis, M.S.Ed.May 25,2025 at 7:40PM UTC

    I really enjoyed the discussion! So many great perspectives shared, and also glad you moved on. . . SHINE ON!

56. AnonymousAugust 8,2025 at 5:38PM UTC

    Yes I would love to know what others think of this as well.