I have been out of work for 14 months and am failing all bar one interview.

19 Comments

1. AnonymousNovember 7,2025 at 5:47PM UTC

   I hear your frustration and sadness. It is very difficult, under any circumstance, neuro-diverse or not, to get interviews and jobs. And though your mom likely means well, it sounds like she doesn't realize how her comments are making you feel. Hopefully you can respectfully tell her, give her different words to use that will be less intrusive and more supportive. She may well be unable to see how to do that.

   As far as the job market goes, if you are getting the questions in advance, then the employer knows that you have some differences and will likely need accommodations. They may or may not be really willing to do that for you, even if they are willing to interview you. It's sad but true. It may be hard for you to get a job without some supports. I would definitely try working with the organization that supports Neurodiverse candidates. You have nothing to lose by trying, and if that org doesn't pan out, look for others. Eventually something will work! I have been down this path with my son, so I am talking from experience and though the path is not smooth, there have been great people that have come into his life to help support his job search. And he has found wonderful experiences and jobs.
   Talk to Mom about how her critiques would be more helpful if they were supportive and not criticizing. Again, be respectful because she may not be aware or capable of seeing her behavior.
   And try the supportive services. Don't give up! You WILL find something that's right for you! BEST OF LUCK TO YOU!

2. AnonymousNovember 8,2025 at 5:57PM UTC

   Thank you :)

3. AnonymousNovember 7,2025 at 11:06PM UTC

   Here anyway most people get jobs because of someone they know vouched for them. Reach out to everyone you've had positive interactions with, friends, family- let them know you are actively looking for a job and ask if they know of anyone hiring.

4. Esther LeeNovember 8,2025 at 5:58PM UTC

   Will do, thank you :)

5. AnonymousNovember 9,2025 at 1:50PM UTC

   I know it may be cliche but try something different to get different results. If you use a cover letter, rewrite it a new way. If you don’t have one, try one and be your authentic self highlighting your amazing traits. Try a different coach. Try applying to something you think you won’t like, maybe you will. Sometimes working with wonderful teammates matters more than the work.

6. Maria FeltonNovember 10,2025 at 2:29PM UTC

   First all of all, It is not your fault for not having a job. I suggest taking a breathe and analysis everything. I do not think you need to change careers if that is the career path you want to be in. My suggest is to ask the interview if you can take notes during the interview. This will help you keep focus on what you need to answer. I hope this advise helps.

7. AnonymousNovember 13,2025 at 4:22PM UTC

   Thank you for your tip - that's something I did in my last interview.

8. AnonymousNovember 11,2025 at 2:54PM UTC

   I applied for the jobs with a 90% match or higher.

   I use the prompt below in ChatGPT

   Please use this resume “ [Your CV/resume] “

   give me the percentage match for this role “[job description]”

9. AnonymousNovember 11,2025 at 3:13PM UTC

   I am also neurodiverse (ADD/ADHD) and also have many other hidden disabilities. I went through several months without a job after being wrongfully terminated due to my various disabilities by my former employer, and it took me some time to regain my self-confidence afterwards.

   I now work for myself from home as a virtual bookkeeper where I am the sole employee and the owner of my own firm. I love working with my clients. I'm also able to set my own schedule and I have full control on who I decide to take on as a client. So, you might think about taking steps with proper support in considering going the self-employment route if possible. Also, look into seeing a good therapist if you aren't already seeing one, as you have been through something that for many of us that are neurodivergent can be highly traumatizing to us. I recently started seeing a therapist, which is helping me to slowly regain my self-confidence. At the medical clinic I go to (I live in the US) they have 2 different versions of behavioral health (basic-less than 12 months of sessions, and intensive-12 months or longer and/or medication management if needed). I was going to basic therapy, while I was waiting to get into their intensive program which I start next week. I'm ready to begin to do some more hard work on trying to further heal from past traumatic experiences that occurred when I was younger and that still affects my daily life.

   Just remember that you are on your own journey, and you need to do what is right for you and your current situation. There are organizations out there that are not job centers that could potentially help give you additional resources that can better meet your needs and help you get back to work in a job that feels right to you.

10. LisaNovember 12,2025 at 1:34PM UTC

    I'm interested what does' failing all bar one interview' mean?

11. LoriNovember 13,2025 at 2:46PM UTC

    OP is UK-based and it’s a phrasing we don’t use so much in the US. “Failing all bar one” means “failing all except one”. Sometimes “bar” is used that way. I have heard it used in examples like this: “the quarterback will return to the lineup next week barring any further injury to his shoulder”

12. AnonymousNovember 12,2025 at 1:45PM UTC

    First - if you are getting to the interview stage - that's awesome!!!! Unfortunately, its a game of numbers - you just have to keep going and one will stick! You could ask for feedback from the interviewer after you don't get called back... Especially if its a recruiter, they may be able to give you something useful.

13. Lisa McCartneyNovember 12,2025 at 2:36PM UTC

    Firstly, I would tell mom, "hey I know you mean well, and you want me to succeed ~ but you aren't helping." I would then tell her how she's actuall putting more pressure on you. Remind her the job market is tough for everybody, everywhere. (There is certainly enough people on here- use us.)

    Try writing down a list of strengths/weakness for role if you manage to get an interview. That might help the nerves.

    Good Luck out there.

14. AnonymousNovember 13,2025 at 4:29PM UTC

    Thanks for your tip Lisa, that's a good one :)

15. AnonymousNovember 12,2025 at 6:29PM UTC

    hey, i felt sad while I read your message. I can understand, maybe a little but not completely what you must be going through. I am also job searching right now, and I feel the job market is a little dry. I want to tell you that its going to be okay, you will be fine. For me what works is meditating daily. I previously had anxiety issues, and I practised a breathing technique called sudarshana kriya. It really helped me with my anxiety. You can also try and explore if you wish, I used to take medicines for my anxiety, but now I dont. You can learn this from an art of living instructor, you will have to enroll for their part 1 (happiness course), it has some minimal amount, but trust me it's worth it.

    One thing that really helped me, and sometimes I tell it to myself is, "People are going to tell what they want to tell, but wisdom is not to become football of other people's opinions", sometimes it may not be easy to follow, but when I remind myself about this again and again, it really helps me whenever I come across such situation. I would be happy if my comment helps you , even a little. Take care.

16. AnonymousNovember 13,2025 at 4:18PM UTC

    Thank you for your tip, I'll look into it. Good luck with your own search :)

17. AnonymousNovember 13,2025 at 4:13PM UTC

    Hi there! So, I am in the U.S. so, please keep that in mind. I am answering from my own lived experience, take or disregard and apply appropriately at your desire.

    1. Set boundaries with your mother. "Mum, I really appreciate that you care enough to try and guide me through the job hunting process. However, it is not helpful when the positions and roles you are suggesting do not align with what I would like to do. If you would like to continue to try and assist in this process, please limit your guidance to roles/positions in this field/path/role type: _________. Also, your assumptions about my interview skills do nothing to help, and wasn't it you that taught me that if you have nothing nice to say, not to say anything at all?"
    2. One thing as a hiring manager that I consider when holding interviews is who showed up early. Now, I'm not talking 30 or so minutes early. I'm talking anywhere from 5-15 minutes early. I *do not* use this as a requirement for hiring, but if I have two people who are otherwise both equally qualified for the position, and both interviewed just as well, and their scores on their questions are the same, then I use this as a tie breaker. Because, to me, the person who showed up early rather than the one who is rushing in at 10 AM when the interview literally should be starting at 10 AM would appear to be the one more organized and who has better attention to detail. Two things that are essential in the jobs I hire for.
    3. Find something that makes you stand out. One piece of advice that I was given by an older cousin when I first started to move into the professional workforce (from my string of retail/fast food jobs), was that you should send a thank you letter. Almost six years ago, when I interviewed for the organization that I am currently employed with, I followed this advice. I showed up about 30 minutes early, stayed in my car outside until about 15 minutes before my interview, and then checked in at the 15-minute mark and waited inside until they were ready for me. I kept a smile on my face from the time I exited my car until the time I entered my car to leave. And then, after the interview, I sent a follow-up e-mail, simply thanking them for taking the time to meet with me. Part of the interview process is to "sell" yourself as the perfect fit for the company, but it's also to make yourself stand out, because, quite honestly, there are possibly going to be many people who are going to be great candidates and fits for the role. So you want to shine bright. I typically use language such as, "Good afternoon, _________. Thank you so much for taking time out of your busy day to meet with me today to discuss my qualifications and how I may be a fit for your company. Should you have any other follow up questions, I am happy to answer those and I look forward to hearing back from you ___________." (the ________ should be filled in with the timeframe for when they will be making the decision. Which, you should know, because it is one of the questions you should ask when they ask if you have any questions at the end of the interview.)
    4. Make sure to ask a few good quality questions to the interviewers during the interview (in the U.S. the interviewers will typically ask at the end of the interview if the interviewee has any questions for them). Some examples are below, but you can certainly formulate questions based on information about the organization that you can locate online and about the role specifically from looking at the job advertisement.
    5. What is your timeframe for deciding who to fill this role with?
    6. What does a typical day for a person in this role look like?
    7. Can you share with me why this role is vacant?

    Also, make sure that when you are applying to these different roles, that you are actually making sure that if you tailored a cover letter to company or position XYZ, and you're applying to ABC, that you're not just not paying attention to to your attachments and you're updating it so that you're attaching the cover letter for ABC rather than XYZ. I've gotten cover letters tailored to being a nursing manager, and I am a government legal office manager... Which shows me that either (a) the person doesn't care about what they're doing or (b) that they aren't paying attention to the details, which I need someone who is attentive to the details because failing to do that can drastically impact our cases.

18. AnonymousNovember 13,2025 at 4:26PM UTC

    Thank you for your reply, this is helpful :)

19. Gisele CloutierNovember 20,2025 at 2:12PM UTC

    I hear your frustration, and so many others'. That's why I created an online virtual workshop to debunk job search strategies that no longer work and share NEW and effective techniques for everything from resumes to, yes, interviewing. Full details available here: https://www.linkedin.com/feed/update/urn:li:activity:7390040683610533888/. Hope I can help!