I'm an HR Director and an executive sent an email listing my emails and faults during the project, to everyone on the executive team.

29 Comments

1. Heather CutlerSeptember 16,2022 at 11:43PM UTC

   You’re def being targeted. And despite your role with HR, you are not exempt. Keep a very close eye on this because it sounds like her behavior is familiar and tolerated by her peers on the executive team.

   I can’t quite tell if this person is your supervisor or just someone on the executive team. Tread lightly on raising this with your boss, esp if you’re being called out for performance issues. It won’t end well.

   if this doesn’t improve quickly and you sense this executive’s ultimate goal is to get you fired, aggressively start looking for a new job. If this truly isn’t salvageable, consider approaching your employer about a severance package as you part ways.

   I’m so very sorry this is happening to you. I was in a similar position about seven years and and it was a low point in my career. For reference, I did finally approach my employer and said: this company has a history of separation agreements and severance packages. I think it’s time to have that convo.

   That conversation ended up buying my almost five months of full pay, insurance premiums, and an end date three months in the future which allowed for a job search.

   best of luck on your next steps, please keep us posted.

2. AnonymousSeptember 16,2022 at 11:47PM UTC

   To everyone???
   That is so out of line. I'd start looking. Her insecurities are insane and the fact that no one else came to you means they tolerate this crap.

   And did she illustrate how you supposedly goofed or is she insecure??

   I had a girl go to my supervisor (she worked in a different department) and told him she was "traumatized" by my success (??!!) He defended her and told me to be a slacker so she could gain some confidence (week prior, I was commended on my work- MANY times before as well).

   I ended up resigning with a new job as a result.

3. JJSeptember 17,2022 at 1:41AM UTC

   That sounds horrible! I am so sorry. Document everything!

4. Amy GeffenSeptember 19,2022 at 12:12PM UTC

   This is unprofessional and unacceptable. I agree you need to document everything. See if you can have a one to one with your immediate supervisor to discuss what is really going on.

5. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 12:19PM UTC

   Yes, HR can be bullied. However, do not over react. First, I would ask the executive for a meeting and discuss the issue of the email and the “smirks.” Ask about her/his perceived performance issues with you. If you report to this executive, develop a plan to address these issues. Explain how seeing the email sent to all made you feel and ask to discuss issues in advance. And document.

6. Christi LopezSeptember 19,2022 at 12:25PM UTC

   The need to document cannot be overstated. Keep impeccable records, with backup copies off your employer's network.

7. E CSeptember 19,2022 at 1:58PM UTC

   I would focus less on how the incident made you feel, and more on the facts. What are the ramifications of this action for your office, and for the organization? Bullies want to make everything about feelings (yours being hurt, theirs being superior). Focus on facts and impact when making a plan.

8. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 12:22PM UTC

   Though sounds like bullying to me. I am so sorry this happened to you. I would probably approach this person myself before reporting them or start looking. Did someone show you that email or did you also receive it?

9. GirlBossanova934974September 19,2022 at 12:42PM UTC

   This is plain stupid on the part of the executive and should not be tolerated by the CEO and the Executive Leadership Team. If it were me, I would schedule a meeting with the CEO, Owner, or highest ranking VP. If managers can openly disrespect HR, how can other members of the company respect HR? Failing this, I would look for another job. As a company owner myself, this would never be tolerated. The first thought going through my head is what happens if this email gets out to the rank and file? Now, my HR Department has no authority etc..

10. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMESeptember 19,2022 at 1:43PM UTC

    This is where your emotional intelligence needs to take over. That behavior was a reflect on the executive and their lack of professionism.

11. Michelle S.September 19,2022 at 2:03PM UTC

    Her emotional intelligence has nothing to do with this. As an HR, those are behaviors coming from her supervisor that she would normally be required to call out for other employees. Plus, it’s well known that when an executive is passive aggressive like this, it can actually cause a other executives to feel similar toward that employee. This is not a time to say, it reflects on you. If someone has gotten to executive level, it’s slim to none that that person will ever look bad for things that they do or be replaced.. It’s just the way C suite goes ..

12. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMESeptember 19,2022 at 11:01PM UTC

    Our emotional intelligence is important to all of us in all situations. It is unfortunate that this executive is so unprofessional (we have all had to deal with "flying monkeys").

    However, she has a background in HR -- and should have the skill sets needed to interact with all personality types.

    It is her strength, diplomacy, and STRONG BOUNDARIES that will help her in this situation.

13. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 1:49PM UTC

    Yes.

14. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 1:55PM UTC

    Does this happen to HR!?!?! Haven’t you seen how Michael Scott treated Toby!!! Please oh please oh please tell me that you get this reference. ??

15. Maureen B. WeisnerSeptember 19,2022 at 1:58PM UTC

    Yes, this is bullying.

    That this has been observed by others indicates that there's at least tacit acceptance. She may have a "protected" relationship.

    If it were only facial gestures, some people really have noi idea how they look and the impact it has on others, so there can be opportunity for discussion. Does not sound like this is the case.

    I agree with many others who've contributed feedback. Document, document, document and begin an active job search.

16. Cortney SpencerSeptember 19,2022 at 2:11PM UTC

    I would contact a workplace attorney immediately. This is undoubtedly workplace bullying. As others have said, document everything you can.

17. Kristie WhiteSeptember 19,2022 at 2:17PM UTC

    Humans are humans, no matter the title. This is more than bullying, this is sabotage and defamation of reputation and character which is illegal but hard to prove. However, she has put it in writing! The executive team has been poisoned and you can believe the verbal sabotage has been happening for some time. So why would this person attack you, I would ask for a meeting with the senior leadership to discuss. Unfortunately if you have a lot of males and she is the only or one of a few females, men can view this as a female thing ( a cat fight). So what does she have to gain? If you can find no justification, and there has been no discussion with you about performance, then this is defamation and you need to demand a retraction. I would also not hesitate to throw the term “legal action “ around. This bully needs to see your backbone and that you aren’t afraid. And be sure you don’t react emotionally because she will use that. Remember it’s all smoke and mirrors if there is no real performance issue. (Maybe she just has a friend who needs a job;)

18. Valentina Huang, MBA, SHRM-CPSeptember 19,2022 at 2:41PM UTC

    HR sometimes gets a bad rap. They are the department that has to deal with terminations, disciplinary actions, policy enforcement, etc. Its critical that management (the folks at the upper crust), respect HR and that they make sure the rest of the organization does so too.

    There are two ways to look at this. 1. They are trying to provide feedback and granted, they used a poor method to do so, maybe it was just that. 2. They are trying to send you message. I'm not sure what that is, but sounds like they might have an issue with you personally.

    I would recommend:

    1.Document every incident that was similar to this. Date and time. Stick to facts; not "how it made me feel" stuff.

    2.Request a meeting with this executive (person who sent email). Discuss why they felt the need to make such a move. Often times, folks shrink away from addressing the issues head on. I'm not suggestion confrontation, but they need to know that you won't cower away.

    3.Meet with either the executives' manager or higher. This should be addressed with them as well. As some other people mentioned, what happens at the top matters. If they are not aware of what happened, then they can't take action. And this is an opportunity for them to set the record straight; otherwise, this could be a recurring thing.

    4.Depending on how upper management handles the event, will be telling of whether or not you stay within the organization.

    5.If you feel that there is discrimination of any sort involved, then you may want to reach out to EEOC and/or attorney to discuss any legal actions that may be taken.

19. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 3:40PM UTC

    I've been in a similar situation and there is nothing you can do about it but find another job. If this person wasn't already called into her boss's office and made to apologize, then this is the culture that you are dealing with at the executive level. They will most certainly not do anything when you complain to the CEO/Owner/Board. It is not worth suing over. It's a very long process and a lot of work and you would need a lot more evidence. It's time to leave. You are working at a company that allows a toxic work environment.

20. Shelby CSeptember 19,2022 at 4:21PM UTC

    That sounds extremely unprofessional no matter what the context.

21. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 4:23PM UTC

    Totally! You were bullied and it's a shame. And she's a horrible leader too. There must be other people she's blaming too. What a toxic environment. Is your own manager supportive of you?

    I'm sorry you're experiencing this culture of blame. It is hard to be in HR. Wish I had another way of making money.

22. DeBorah S. WalkerSeptember 19,2022 at 4:34PM UTC

    Absolutely you were bullied. You are a director after all. This executive who is obviously over you has no respect for you. You are the director of HR; you know how the politics work. You need to have a conversation with your direct boss, and that (jackass ).

23. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 4:47PM UTC

    I am in HR as well, and I will say yes it can definitely happen to us. The saying seat at the table for those in HR has been a conversation for years, often because we are not taken seriously as we should be.

    I am so sorry this is happening to you. Being in HR, you should know the laws, and your company policies. Go by facts and go to your direct supervisor. If policies or laws are being broken, show when and where. Document everything- date, time, place, those in attendance, and any other facts you can. Good luck.

    Sometimes things can change and those doing wrong are held accountable. However, we both know that is not always true. Start looking and get out soon, if needed.

24. AnonymousSeptember 19,2022 at 6:07PM UTC

    I would say, at the very least you are not being treated with respect.
    When I was a new HRD, I confronted that behavior straight on. There were a person who would smirk and make side comments while I had the floor in our company management meetings. I let it slide a couple of times but the third time, I stopped talking and flat out asked him in a very pleasant way, “Oh, I see you have a lot to say, do you have anything to contribute that may be of value to the rest of us in this discussion? “ He sputtered out a no and was quiet for the rest of the meeting. Afterwards, I went to HIS office and politely told him I didn’t quite know what his issue was and really didn’t care. However, when anyone has the floor to speak, it is very disrespectful and distracting for him to make side comments, smirk and giggle. He apologized and it never happened again. If you are relying on support from others in your management group for support, it probably won’t happen. It didn’t for me. But since I made him the example, I had no further problems with anyone else, especially when it got around that I went to his office and let him have it. But as an HRD you know the best weapon is to document the behavior and when you can tactfully do it, stand up for yourself. I know it’s intimidating but you need to be able to advocate for yourself because you will be tested and others will turn a blind eye. If the overall culture is very toxic, get yourself out, ASAP. As HR, you are the guardian of a healthy work environment but if you are in a workplace where this behavior is baked in the cake, you will ultimately be presiding over and enabling a toxic environment.

    One of the best pieces of advice I received from a corporate VP of HR was, decide what your non-negotiables are and as soon as you can, create an F-U money fund. If you work in the industry long enough you may be in a position where a company will behave in a way that is against your principles of decency or even against the law. If you pull their coattails and find yourself spitting in the wind, you don’t want to be trapped because you can’t afford to leave.

25. DeBorah S. WalkerSeptember 19,2022 at 6:11PM UTC

    It does not matter about the reason...the method of communicating is unprofessional period, end of story.

26. KellyW43September 20,2022 at 2:31AM UTC

    I have one thing to say.

    Harassment is a thing. Document, Document, Document.

27. AnonymousSeptember 20,2022 at 2:26PM UTC

    I am going through something similar right now, and it is very toxic and not productive.
    In my case, a supervisor sent a very rude email accusing me of not fulfilling obligations and copied directors. I was stunned. She also did it at 4:50pm on a Friday. Before I was taking some time off. Yep. (She's a smirker too) I HAD TO DEFEND MYSELF, but do it professionally. I 'replied all' with a very professional and direct email addressing all the accusations point by point, detailing where the project was succinctly and what was needed for next steps. And I closed with: My hope is to create a positive, productive dialogue moving forward.

    For me, I knew I had to address it and do so in a way that was both professional and informative about the project. I also wanted to 'call out' the behavior and address it logically while offering a productive way to move forward. While I always 'take the high road' as the bigger person, I will not be bullied. It is important to stand your ground and let these people know if they are going to 'blame-storm' by 'copying all' that you have no problem clapping back in a 'reply all'.

28. AnonymousSeptember 22,2022 at 4:39AM UTC

    from my experience smirkers are never good. you mentioned this person was an executive, so i'm assuming they are not HR. to me it doesn't sound like this person understands the power that HR can wield.

    i don't work in HR, but I'm one of those rare people who appreciates HR departments because I've worked with some good ones.

29. LORI-ANN BURLINGAMESeptember 22,2022 at 8:31PM UTC

    It is unfortunate that this incident occured at all, and it is a reflection on the exeutive.

    I recently finished reading a book called "Snakes in Suits" When Psychopaths Go To Work by Paul Babiak, Ph.D. & Robert D. Hare, Ph.D. It is a must read, and it helped me to understand the mind games people play at work.

    If you are on the receiving end of this behavior, be strong and have good boundaries. And, use your emotional intelligence to put the behavior back on them.