Irrational fear of losing my job?

28 Comments

1. AnonymousDecember 13,2022 at 12:39PM UTC

   This sounds like something to discuss with a therapist. If there's no evidence of an impending reduction-in-force or reorganization, then your fear is irrational and based on something in your past or your personality style or an anxiety disorder or something that can be addressed with therapy or medication.

2. Jeni KolstadDecember 13,2022 at 1:53PM UTC

   I think this is quite a leap! As a therapist myself, I see this as making it about the person vs. exploring what might be going on in the work environment to cause such feelings. There is not enough information to diagnose PTSD, personality disorder, or generalized anxiety disorder in this post.

3. Betsy FrancoeurDecember 13,2022 at 1:31PM UTC

   Constantly.

4. AnonymousDecember 13,2022 at 5:18PM UTC

   Why?

5. AnonymousDecember 13,2022 at 1:31PM UTC

   I kinda get this in a way... I worked through 2008/2009 downturn which was very hard in automotive. I was laid off, hired by another company and then watched them lay off many other people. It is always sort of in the back of my mind I suppose. However, the lesson learned is I made it through, and I am working hard on focusing on my sphere of influence. I can't control every decision, outcome, etc at my company so I focus on my sphere and that's it. I agree with another comment... talk to a therapist to get to the root of your issue and see how to move past it.

6. AnonymousDecember 13,2022 at 1:44PM UTC

   I always had this feeling, and the reason was seeing other very good employees got replaced by a close friend of the higher management. I'm finally resigned after many nights of panic attacks and constant anxiety

7. Jeni KolstadDecember 13,2022 at 1:56PM UTC

   I worked in a place where I consistently had good performance reviews, but was always worried about being fired. I knew my immediate boss had my back, but there was no trust in the upper management. They constantly made decisions that made no sense. I think there are many reasons you could be feeling this way and the majority of them are likely related to the company culture.

8. Paulla Fetzek, MSEdDecember 13,2022 at 2:32PM UTC

   I've been with my current company over 19 years - and I NEVER take for granted that I'm safe.

   Having said that, to be constantly worried isn't healthy for you. Allow yourself to be confident in your strengths. The more you work on these, the more marketable you are - regardless of where you go.

9. Holly JacobsDecember 13,2022 at 2:34PM UTC

   In today's work environment this attitude may not be irrational based on job trends. It's good to update your resume, keeping real on what is possible for you to accomplish and your reviews. Just like customer surveys less than perfect is a fail. What you need to focus on is the "worried" part of your thoughts. This will diminish your quality of life and so plan for job loss and the next steps. Make it better than where you are so if something does happen you look forward to the opportunity.

10. AnonymousDecember 13,2022 at 5:20PM UTC

    Being worried about a layoff could be rational, but not being worried about being fired. Employers will want to dot their i's and cross their t's before doing that to prevent a lawsuit for wrongful termination, and that would involve "constructive discharge," i.e., making life unpleasant for the person in order to get them to leave, and revising performance evaluations downward in order to go to court with documentation.

11. AnonymousDecember 13,2022 at 4:00PM UTC

    I have, and it was before a considerable layoff I was caught up in. It is not as irrational as some might think. One thing you can do is begin planning how you will pay your bills if it does happen. Start cutting back on non-essential spending and putting away a nest egg. This is good, sound financial stewardship. As for the worry part, if your company has an EAP, it might be good to take advantage of it so you have someone you can talk to.

12. AnonymousDecember 13,2022 at 5:33PM UTC

    not irrational at all, no one is irreplaceable. Always keep your resume updated, and save as much $ as you can. If you are worrying to the point where you can't sleep or focus on anything else, take advantage of your EA program at work.

13. AnonymousDecember 13,2022 at 5:58PM UTC

    It's part of imposter syndrome

    You feel vulnerable and scared. This is normal and fades with time and experience in your job.

    This too shall pass

14. AnonymousDecember 14,2022 at 1:42AM UTC

    Omg me too. In therapy for it. Write your accomplishments down. Keep learning and pitch in to do things out of your comfort zone. This wil help you grow and you will be more of an incentive to the company. Stay strong.

15. AnonymousDecember 14,2022 at 3:14PM UTC

    I also struggle with this. I am a director in my company with a team that sells $7+ million a year, I get regular feedback, and have a nice relationship with the owners. The CEO regularly gives me positive feedback - though he is also not shy about occasional constructive criticism and open questioning (that's his job, of course). Still, every day I question whether I can plan my future because "what if I get fired soon?" There is no indication that's happening - in fact, if we did have to downsize it would be smarter of them to lay off one or two of my team members and have me take on more clients myself. Yet, the nagging question lurks.

    Some of the things that feed my imposter syndrome monster include a peer in production who is constantly challenging - sometimes in great, productive ways, and sometimes in busybody ways about things she doesn't know much about.

    (*****Trigger warning ******* weight mention *******) I also always feel inferior because I am unhappy with my body and physical fitness (just want to point out that this is entirely to do with how I feel in my body and has nothing to do with anyone else). My company is active and fit for the most part, but my current position requires a lot of drive time and desk time, and I have a bunch of reasons/excuses for having habits outside of work that keep me too sedentary and overweight. My self-talk voice constantly tells me that others are judging me for this and I can't convince myself that most people a) don't care, and b) my personality and job performance are what is important at work. This issue holds me back sometimes because I am not projecting myself as confident and the preoccupation quiets me in meetings sometimes.

    Last, I never feel like I do enough. This feeling is wrapped up with anxiety and possibly some undiagnosed ADHD.

    I notice that I feel better, more confident, and more relevant when I spend time in the office. We're lucky to have some pretty flexible work options - if I don't have a meeting or in-person project, I can work from home. If we have personal issues during the day we can just attend to them and get our work done another time. It's easy to slip into working in my PJ's for several days in a row.

    I have found that I need office time simply for the conversation and instant feedback. I can do 1-3 days at home max before I start to feel like I am lazy, unproductive, unliked, not respected, and at risk of losing my job. I feel like I'm doing something wrong - even when I am super productive and responsive to emails/calls/texts. My brain tells me that they're going to find me out and fire me anytime. But, as soon as I spend a few hours in the office I feel like a respected and valued member of the team again.

    I'm trying to focus on the presence piece and my own personal life satisfaction. It's a hard road, but when I stay on it everything feels better. You're not alone!

16. AnonymousDecember 20,2022 at 8:11PM UTC

    I feel like we could be twins. Recently read an article about "the codependent false self"... I'm adding therapy to my 2023 resolutions!

17. Crystal HowellDecember 14,2022 at 7:44PM UTC

    It's in your head, until you have a pink slip, just do your best, don't gossip, show up on time and focus!

18. Looking for a changeDecember 14,2022 at 9:12PM UTC

    I feel like that at times however if it’s all the time you may want to consider talking to a professional. Or starting writing down your feelings and see if you can figure out where it stems from. Regardless you need to find a way through this

19. AnonymousDecember 14,2022 at 9:20PM UTC

    This is called anxiety and it’s treatable with a therapist. Impending fear of the future. Pondering the worst case scenario. Triggered by changes in the workplace.

20. Wurdah IqbalDecember 15,2022 at 8:39AM UTC

    Don't feel like this. Sometimes it happens; cheer up with every small victory and practise gratitude. Anxiety is common and natural so don't think much. My friend you are doing great.

21. AnonymousDecember 15,2022 at 1:31PM UTC

    Sounds like toxic management.

22. AnonymousDecember 15,2022 at 1:55PM UTC

    There is a societal push in the USA to work more than 40 hours per week and people even brag about how many hours they work.

    In many jobs everyone is being monitored by the computer. Many people have been fired or laid-off when times get tight for the company or right before they would earn better retirement benefits or become pregnant. Even though these practices are illegal they do happen. Being afraid of losing your job is not irrational and performance reviews are a bullshit construct to control pay and expect employees to overwork themselves. Do a good job, don't overwork because the pressure to overwork, save away an emergency fund if you can and keep your resume fresh and your eyes open for other job opportunities just in case. You have good performance reviews you know you are a good employee be kind to yourself, hope for the best but keeping a job is never a guarantee. Also see if there is a way to make passive income and a way to increase your education or skls to open more doors in case you ever do get fired. The push to be a workaholic with no work life balance making us all feel like if we don't play that game we might get fired, they can always fire you at the drop of a hat.

23. Sandra SwearingenDecember 15,2022 at 3:00PM UTC

    I had a great job with the government until it wasn’t great any more. A new boss came in and being one of the oldest - I became a target for removal. I was fortunate I didn’t worry because I was financially dependent on the job but I had been a high performer for many years, always hitting my metrics, and had a happy staff who were doing great things. The new management style was dictatorial and demeaning - so I started worrying about my job (I knew I didn’t agree with that style of leadership)….held out for two years and finally just took early retirement. Was the best thing I could have done - now teaching part time for two universities and loving life. Sometimes God gives us clues that its time to move on but we are reluctant to change. Maybe you are fighting the clues. Good luck.

24. AnonymousDecember 15,2022 at 5:00PM UTC

    Yes. But I would not say worry. Maybe just like waiting I guess. I specifically told my manager to call me when they want me to leave. Please do not have me come into the office. He just laughs. I don't.

    You see I think about whats happening around me. I have a manager that does a lot of blocking. I'm in my 23rd year and he constantly over talks me in meetings, answers questions when directed at me, gives me very vague performance reviews, comes to me for answers that he should know, gaslight big time to our VP (by the way who still looks for me to answer even after he chimes in), constantly nervous in one on ones, has done some really underhanded things, constantly tries to put me in a box that has collapsed so many times its comical, and etc, etc, etc. Yes I'm in therapy too and I never mention my work because I love what I do and if and when my company says goodbye I'll have much to provide as evidence of intentional gender and racial discrimination that they will probably give me whatever I want.

    I recall hearing a very wise man say "feelings are unreliable for they change all the time. Its what you know not what you feel."

    My 2 cents: Cast aside the feelings and get to the root of that fear. Deal with what IS and not what WAS or going to be.

25. AnonymousDecember 15,2022 at 6:57PM UTC

    It's very stressful in today's costly society. Most American's, as we saw during the pandemic, live from paycheck to paycheck or not far off from that. Obviously, no one wants to tap into their savings (if any) or retirement. Your anxiety if based on something that could be devastating BUT remember, you are employable and there are many other places to work.

26. AnonymousDecember 15,2022 at 7:30PM UTC

    This is my life since 2014. People around me get fired and I have a panic attack. I get flashbacks to all the crap I’ve dealt with. Speaking of, I’m dealing with a drug testing company right now who, despite having every scrap of information available about me. Including private! She still needs something (else) from the pharmacy.

    Been dealing with this $h17 all afternoon.

27. AnonymousDecember 16,2022 at 1:22PM UTC

    Yes, frequently. I work for a national retail chain as an assistant manager. I know I'm good at my job & receive positive feedback from both my manager and district manager. But every week I hear of fellow employees (including 1 in my own store) who are being fired for minor infractions. As my manager said yesterday, "they're looking for any reason to fire people." You know it's getting bad when your own manager is looking over her shoulder.

28. Wurdah IqbalDecember 16,2022 at 2:26PM UTC

    Do one thing. Meditate and relax. I can understand now your situation and the behaviour of your manager which directly impacting your behaviour. You know what it happened in Corona time, many of my colleagues were being fired and the rest of us were totally upset and feel in the same way as you are thinking. We start looking for them new opportunities and some of them got good jobs too. Start helping others instead of worrying. A good karma will help you to release your emotions peacefully Take care.