Quick Question..

Anonymous

April 21,2022 at 7:39PM UTC

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Quick Question..

So we have a newer HR Manager here at our office, she has been here about 6 months, and some of my job is stuff that is HR related that was given to me prior to her coming on board.

I have been thinking of leaving this company-I don't feel like I am doing the best of my ability and I received an opportunity that pays more money and has me back in my comfort zone. I have not made a definite decision, but it has to be made by Monday. Today my current employer has received an employment verification form from my new job. So HR came in, was talking to me about it-I said I was thinking of leaving, reasons, etc.

We are talking about things how it needs to change and I said-Yes, I feel like if someone has an issue with my work, or something I am doing, I prefer them coming to me about it. So I know what I need to work on or change. She said well, I went to your boss and told her that I don't think you are performing at your max potential and you are not engaged at work. She said I noticed you have been keeping your door closed a lot. She then tells me my boss told her some of my personal reasons of some things that were going on in my life (ex husband, new health issue, kids!). I am shocked. My boss and I have talked about things before ( because she was going through some things with her ex) but never did I think she would share my issues.

Is this a red flag? Should I be talking to someone else regarding this issue? Does it really matter if my door is open or closed? LOL I am busy!

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AnonymousApril 21,2022 at 9:00PM UTC
Should she have shared those private conversations? No definitely not, reminds me of the friends in high school who consistently talked about you behind your back.
I don't think there is much that can be done besides leave the company unless you were disclosing to her your health reasons because you needed accommodations there aren't any legal issues per say. Would I ever share with this person again? No, all trust has been lost.
Some people will say "this is why you don't share personal things at work" but if you believed to have a good relationship and trust the person I understand why you would. Working relationship or not someone can turn around and talk about you.
As for the office door, this entirely depends on the type of office you have. If i keep my office door shut, my colleagues know that I am busy, on a zoom call, don't want to be disturbed unless 100% needed. Otherwise I will keep my door open. To me keeping my door shut means I truly need to get work done and its not a time to socialize. Having an "open door" policy can be great but also very disruptive. If you know you are going to be busy, I personally don't see anything wrong with the door shut.
AnonymousApril 21,2022 at 10:53PM UTC
Of course it's an issue! When someone is leaving everyone who's left behind wants to make that they are not the reason so the reasons become personal and not related to them or the company.
Your boss has the perfect set of excuses and they are all personal issues.
Heather BinghamApril 22,2022 at 1:25PM UTC
Oh, she sounds like perfect HR Director material! Just go to the new role. You haven't presented any reasons here for you to not take the new opportunity, not one. I can see no reasons here for you to stay.
Leaky HR professionals are the absolute pits. I fully expect that your boss would assume, when sharing, that the new HR person would know to keep those things to herself. She has absolutely broken the wall and it will bite her. I doubt the boss will share again when you quietly, politely share the final straw that made you decide to leave.
Crystal HowellApril 24,2022 at 12:45PM UTC
Move on, keep your personal business to yourself. People love to through it back at you at a vulnerable moment.
Start a new chapter enjoy the raise and self promotion. Don't bring your personal life into the office. Good luck!
AnonymousApril 24,2022 at 1:18PM UTC
Leave!
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 4:34PM UTC
I'm a HR person and have learned many hard lessons about confidentiality and need to know. All in all, this isn't a good place. Find somewhere to be supported and respected when your door is open and closed.
AnonymousApril 26,2022 at 5:22PM UTC
...Thank you! She literally just came over to my office and asked me what the "Verdict" is in my new job decision because she has stuff that needs done. She is not my director report to-so a) I have until the end of today to tell the new employer-b) I will be telling my direct boss my decision first-not her... very unprofessional!
Crystal HowellApril 27,2022 at 10:34AM UTC
Move on, God opened the door!
Audrey KirschApril 26,2022 at 11:48PM UTC
Did you okay the new company to reach out to your current company to verify employment? If not, that is a red flag on them not respecting your confidentiality. However, now that they did and HR has become involved and involved your boss, I don't see how you can stay without the position becoming very uncomfortable. I'm sorry to say it, but you shouldn't have discussed your personal issues with the boss if you didn't want others to find out. Bosses aren't our friends even if they are friendly. Hopefully lesson learned. Good luck!
AnonymousApril 27,2022 at 12:07PM UTC
If you want to stay then do a better job at engaging and keep your personal issues to yourself. I bet if you try really hard to make amends all will be forgiven.
It sounds like you really want to stay.